Love Like a Hurricane
by counselor
Summary: Post-Civil war, Edward and Jasper come home after a cattle-drive, greeted by his little sis, 16 year old Bella Marie. She is pressing Edward to let her be courted by the neighbor's son. Bella had always hoped she could marry Edward seeing as she is adopted, brought to their family as an infant by Edward's now deceased father. Edward allows Paul to call. That's when trouble comes.
1. Chapter 1

Love Like a Hurricane

In the far horizon, Edward saw her sitting astride that blamed dappled horse Alameda she was so in love with. Well he'd known it was meant for her soon as he saw it, a colt walking shy beside the mare, standing in the cottonwoods. And he drove it home and raised it, well she did, spoiled it rotten, and came time he broke it to saddle and she rode it, only without the saddle most the time, that girl, there was no telling for all her ladylike ways. She was wild on that proud horse.

Her hair blew out, her dress was white and in the bright sun…her boots were brown and showing, sometimes a slice of leg over their tops, but still, these with him, he'd seen them in Abilene, randy, rowdy bunch. She was waving and he knew she stood in the stirrups, well she was that eager to see him and his horse moved in a trot cause this animal read him that way. Yes he had missed her.

She was slender…and womanly now. Not a baby anymore, or so she told him. And told him. She had it in mind to marry. She'd grown up thinking she could marry him, well why not, they weren't blood, she said, and he seemed to be her hero. That always made him laugh. Truth was he pretty much basked in her worship. She was the most joyful thing, the light of the ranch, that's for sure, the light of his mother's eye. Of his, and him a man of twenty-six knew other women. There in Abilene he'd had two. Well, a man didn't say. But came to Bella Marie, he had no peace she'd grown. She had a right to marry…someday. He wasn't a fool.

Last he saw her, four months ago now since he'd left on the drive, she had it in mind to let that left-footed Paul, the son of their neighbor, come courting would Edward give his permission.

Now Paul came from the best people, salt of the earth. Paul's father, Jenks Cope, was Edward and Jasper's partner. He had a wife, Connie, and a girl, Alice, besides. She fancied Jasper most often, or anything in pants and chaps that would give her the eye. Well Jasper didn't. He strung her along, ignored her like she was a skittish horse that followed and neighed and would keep on if he pretended no-mind. That was Alice before they left Texas to ride the Chisholm. She could be married by now. Wouldn't surprise him. But that suitor would have to get past Jenks' six-shooter. So wasn't likely.

So both families had combined their herds and he and Jasper and some eighteen hands had driven them to Kansas. Their money-belts were fat, finally, after three years of hard work, well more than that. Jenks had come on with Edward's Pa back in the day and since Edward was a lad they had been fighting the Kiowa, Comanche, Shoshone, and branding mavericks and breeding cattle.

Now his little sis Bella reckoned sixteen years was high time and she was ripe for the picking, she said. Well he told her not to say such to him, but she said it all the more until he had to be stern, and then all big eyes and hurt feelings, she was.

He was man of the place a long time now since their pa fell from a brave's spear. Pa had ridden with the army to clear those stinking Indians out of this part of the country once and for all. Jasper like to lost his mind when they brought Pa's remains…mutilated. That's what Jasper wouldn't forget. For a time, he'd left the ranch and ended up going east to fight for the gray. Edward didn't think he'd see him again, but when it was over, here Jasper came, just rode up and them not knowing he was dead or alive.

So they'd worked on taking their cattle to Abilene, the railroad there, and they'd ridden them hard and Jasper had shot at two Indians on the way, maybe killed them, but other than that they'd barely had trouble.

And now Bella was galloping closer, and he could see that white smile on the prettiest face, the prettiest girl so sweet his heart kicked out, she was more grown than when he'd left, more…woman, God help him. They'd come from all around now. He'd have to fight them off.

"Bella Marie," he called out and he was way in front, too, the others behind. She was close and she circled round him a couple of times, her hair dark and her skin brown from the sun, and her face so lovely, form so lovely, then she got beside him and reached over like she had done since she was a baby and climbed on behind him. Well she was in a dress and all, a hair bow too, it never stopped her, never had, and these cowboys would look if they could and he was scrambling to pull her dress over her knees, and she was right up on him, the warmth of her, the feel of her and he laughed too, and her hands were around his waist and her head pressed against his back and breasts now, but this was his sis, he said stern to himself, and she was telling him he better never leave for so long again, and he had one hand on her arms folded there. Her hair whipped against the side of his face and caught on his stubble. Well he loved her, he did, his sister. His beautiful sis. And a part of him…well he didn't want to leave her. Them two in Abilene…or the few before those times…that was the difference, there it was. This here was his sis. But he loved her. And he'd do right and soon. Maybe talk to Jenks. He'd see. That Paul…he'd see.


	2. Chapter 2

Love Like a Hurricane 2

The sun was setting into purple and gold over the wild canebrake along the Colorado. Edward had washed up at the river though Bella Marie had the big tub setting in the breezeway, like always, like she hadn't gone and jumped a fence right into beauteous. Maybe it was best to go along, get her in the "I Do," pen with Paul and his little sideways pecker and let nature end this strange new land they'd come upon.

It was a hellacious thought, he knew, thinking of Bella Marie and that fat little dough boy…sharing.

He laughed at himself. But it wasn't funny.

He'd already seen how those came home with him and Jasper to break the remuda looked at her. Well alright there was this, she wasn't just sprouting like when he left. It had happened, the milk was in the corn. His little light was…oh Lord he'd best set his eyes on this sunset. Glorious, that's what. His little light, his sis, was glorious.

She wouldn't say the same about him. Earlier, they'd had words. She could not hover, talking to him while he undressed and dipped his pecker in that cool water and here she came to soap his back. Those days were over and gone, long gone. Didn't matter Mama was there too, telling her to pour some of that lice powder in his hair or some such thing, or telling him to stick his foot out the tub so she could cut his toe nails. He wasn't Seth, or Jasper, God he wasn't. Jasper soon live naked, just as soon, had no modesty at all or care. And Seth thought he was still in short pants just the cutest tadpole and they loved to see all of him, that's what it was like sometimes, but not him. Not him. There was something different about him, and they all knew it. He wore his sleeves long and buttoned even in the heat. And around Bella Marie even more so. She saw him in the tub, in the pan, but he was always curled up modest. The family knew. Even those gringos came home to work on the ranch, now they knew too, cabeza de familia.

Well she had slammed that pan and soap and Mama had said, "Daughter," she'd been that surprised. Bella wanted to give him his shave…but no. She had stood to Edward before but not like this. There was another color to it, more weight in it and it not all coming from her. Some might have been on his end. Some might. Now he would handle himself, he always had. Couldn't fault himself those doves in Abilene, he was man after-all and it wasn't good to be alone, and here he was…alone. And that was fine. He felt no call to it permanent like Jasper. He knew in time he'd find a good, submissive wife to give him sons…and comfort. When the time came he would do it. Marry. Oh Lord, but not anytime soon. And his heart clenched and maybe his stomach. And that…was fine. Sentiment didn't matter for shit. He was a man of decision. That had been proved. And Bella Marie was his sister. She did not know about life like that…man and woman. She had asked him when she was younger and he said it was like with the animals, and she didn't need to know more. And she had got mad and he wouldn't talk about it anymore.

But there was such in the good book a man didn't confuse things like that. The only way to stay her hero, for life, was to walk in the very careful path, the narrow path and be who he was clearly meant, appointed to be. She was innocent. She didn't know. He couldn't marry her…and take her like one of those doves, he groaned to have thought of it. Now it had sneaked in while he slept those two, three times on the trail, and God forgive him he had drank enough rot-gut to burn it out of his mind. His Bella Marie. Little sis, little sis. Just like Pa wanted…just like Pa said. Protect your little sis. Keep her and Ma and Seth safe. My segundo. And Jasper would kill him, and rightfully so. And Mama. Lord, God…he'd kill himself.

And next he knew, here came Bella Marie as if she could hear his noisy thoughts and her name running through them.

"Good way to get shot," he said, and he didn't mean it. What a thing.

"Well I got my gun," he said like the stupid beast he apparently was. His gun and boots were sitting at the base of a tree. He went there glad for that job. She had bathed too, sweet and soap, and Mama would go last is how it went.

She had to take care with these hands about, that damn vaquero most of all, and Edward about to shoot that one, but all them on the place now until the breaking was done. She shouldn't be about like this. They knew…he'd made it damn clear they stay away from her…from the house, but still she had to be careful, his beautiful sister.

"What is it?" he asked, sitting now to pull on his boots.

"I came for you," she said. Never could hold a grudge on him.

" You've had plenty of time to think it over," she said, hands clasped behind her back, and her skirts switching as she moved side to side the way she did when nervous. But he didn't look straight at her.

"You just want your presents," he said cause he was not ready to have her nagging start again, not yet after all this time. Was there no more on her mind than procreation?

She had clasped her hands in front now, the skirts switched even faster.

He worked not to grin. Well he'd brought her gifts all the way from Abilene. Mama too, stuffed them in the cook's wagon for most of it.

"Is it Christmas, Edward?" Her lovely smile.

He laughed some. "It is for you and Mama."

He glanced at her then. She glowed, pretty much. He swallowed some and got on his feet.

"Seth too, Edward?"

"Maybe."

She took his hand quick and pulled him toward the house. "Is it something to wear?"

He wished it was that sunset spun into cloth.

"Is it Edward?" She looked back, Lord, so happy.

He couldn't help but laugh, taking both her little hands in his big rough ones. "Maybe it's a skunk skin so you can make a hat." Well he'd seen that in Abilene.

She laughed and pinched his arm. He yelled out, but she didn't hurt him at all, it purely muscle. He was just laughing, maybe too much, so he stopped sudden, pulled his hand away. He was quiet as a rule.

"Well let's get on and you can see," he said, and he saw some confusion on her face, but she was still smiling as she followed.


	3. Chapter 3

Love Like a Hurricane 3

Bella looked a long time at the square necked apron Edward had brought her. Longer still at the book of Robert Browning's poems. She looked for a full minute at the folded white material which would make a fine dress. Wedding dress even, not that that had been his intent, no. Or curtains, Mama said and it eased him some. Well Edward knew Bella was practical. And the small painting of a dappled horse in a gilt frame, that was when Bella started to cry. Then she gathered those gifts and ran into her room choking out a, "Thank you, Ed…." And she softly closed the door.

"Well I declare," Mama said, looking after her daughter and holding the yards of calico and bottle of liquor he'd brought her.

Seth hardly paid Bella any mind, stuck as he was in admiration for his new Winchester.

Edward didn't know what to make of Bella Marie. Was she happy? He asked Mama that.

"Well go on and ask her yourself," Mama said, the broach at her throat bobbing.

He wasn't going to do that. Her room…it was small in there. He'd quit going in…some back. Just, not proper too much. Besides, you give someone a gift, gifts, you shouldn't have to talk them into being happy about it.

He went outside then, saw the men camped in the distance there with the moon out full, the shack and the tents, the campfire. He missed it, he thought he did, being out and away, on the trail, the talk, the coffee, the whisky-fire laced in the coffee, the work, in the night, singing to the cows, well he never did that, but some did and one or two could croon decent.

That was it, he was like David when he saw Bathsheba on that rooftop. He needed to get to work for he got in to trouble, but he'd just got home. And tomorrow…well seeing Bella Marie so moody, it was best for them all he not get too ensnared. Soon as he squared things with Jenks it was back to work.

He took a deep breath and felt the relief. He knew what it was now. He'd just gone bust coming home is all. She'd finished growing…and it confounded him…the passing of time. Probably just sick for home and trail-tired. It made horse-sense to him now. That's all it was…the change…the end of the trail.

He laughed. Well that sounded gloomy…end of the trail…like he was fixing to die or something. Well he wasn't near ready. Anyway, the end of one trail meant the start of another.

That was pretty wise. He was getting that way more and more…wise. Maybe Pa would be proud. He would. Of him and Jasper and what they'd done with the ranch. And he wanted to keep making him proud, that was the thing, Edward thought as he lifted the jug from that place in the wall with the mud-baked brick missing high up. That's where he kept his jug. Well, these walls were thick. They'd last forever. Long as him.

He took a drink and that mash had been there a long time and it was a burn…ooo-eee shitfire. Hellfire.

He coughed some.

"Edward."

Her voice had been soft, but he heard it like it had been yelled into his ear-holes.

"What's that?" he said. He slurred it some.

She didn't pay mind to that jug. She was the only one besides him knew it was there.

"I wanted to thank you for the presents."

He saw those storm clouds on her face, in her voice. "Welcome," he said. He turned his back and took another swig right before her.

He let out a sound like you make when you drink hell in a crock.

"I reckon it hit me all at once. Pretty soon…I won't be around here no more," she said.

Now he turned to her, but he was full of himself. If she was trying to get his arm up behind his back, well she didn't know him at all. But right as he thought that, here came that wisdom again, like a geyser opened up in him. "Boarding school back east." He belched silently, "For young ladies."

"What?" She was confused.

"I heard of such places. One in Illinois…the Methodists. College for girls. For fine girls like…yourself."

"What are you talking about?" One hand to the hip. Never good. And that brow lifting. They always worked together, like him and Jasper could do sometimes. But that hip had gotten so round. She had to be moving it that way but no, he didn't think so, it was just…protruding that way…that fetching way….

"Edward," she all but shouted. They must have heard that clear to the campfire.

"Hush," he hissed, the only thing he had to say.

Two hands on two hips…round….

"Edward," she hissed this time, her teeth so straight and white. Pearly whites. Pearly gates. End of the trail…he didn't think so. Not for him. No sir.

He took another drink and one more. And one more.

"What is the matter with you?" she said again.

He laughed and tried to put that jug on the high shelf where the brick was out, and he missed and stumbled and laughed some more, kicked at the floor with his boot clunking around to point out something was on this floor shouldn't be here, almost made him break his neck is what, and he reached again and couldn't get that jug in place well what a damned fool thing. And he set it on the floor then. And he'd cursed some, he thought he did, and when he turned around to see if she had been looking, and he was ready to defend himself and everything else…he didn't care where her hands were…meaning hips or what…well…she was gone.

So he followed her in there, marched right in, past Mama already lying on her cot there, past all that crap he'd brought from Abilene, those shoes for Mama and that roll pin, and to Bella Marie's door and he meant to knock but he tripped on that roll pin and in he went then and she was in her petticoat, standing there and she gasped and her shoulders bare but for those white strips of lacy, and her corset and breasts puffing, and her huffing and grabbing the cover off her bed and holding it to her, but it not covering as much. Well he reached to adjust it, it was instinct, and he poked her right above, near her sweet heart and he pulled back his hand and said, "Oh son a bitch, or my god I'm sorry."

Well he went out and she came now, whacked the back of his head with that book of poems and he pitched forward some but he got turned to face her. "I never in my life thought you could be a coward," she said, her face all scrunched like when she was madder than shit.

"You, get your nightie on now," he said stern, like a pa, he thought.

She growled. She might have stomped too, he wasn't sure. But things were moving. "Coward," she yelled, going in there to slam the door again. Or this time. To slam it this time.

So he had something to say now and he stepped up to it, but instead of it slamming like he expected she stood there in the gap before she closed it, closed them out again, him and Mama and Seth, but when he looked around, Mama was staring at him, big-eyed from her cot, and Seth was nowhere he could see, so he turned back to his…sis.

"Coward," she said more softly this time and she pushed that door right closed she did.

Well he stepped back, scratching his head. Well it itched fierce now, his brain did.

Mama said, "Paul is asking you tomorrow. You best be ready."

He looked at her and she turned her back and settled herself there for a long sleep looked like. Well he went out, glad that jug was on the floor where he'd have no trouble getting his hands on it.


	4. Chapter 4

Love Like a Hurricane 4

Next morning it got time for Jenks and his fold to show. Edward went out and saw their approach. They were still some off. While he waited, Edward wondered if Jasper would grace them. Once he'd said hello to Mama, and hugged Bella Marie and patted Seth's back and shook his hand, he had disappeared. Well he hadn't slept in the house since Pa was killed, then once he came home from the war he lived in the shack with the hands. He was always looking for Indians, riding over the place, scouring the whole valley for sign, bringing home what he'd find, sometimes burning what he'd captured in a solitary fire, then pissing on the fire, he would do that when he got broody.

It wasn't Indians in general Jasper hated. Oh, he pretty well hated them all, but his fight was with those in the valley. Those were the ones that killed Pa. Those were the ones he saw as threat to home. Those were the ones he would not forgive.

Once Jenks pulled in, Edward went right to the old man and got a big growling welcome. Paul set up his chair and Edward helped Jenks out of the wagon and into the fifty-pound throne on wheels. It was a hard push over the rocky Texas earth, but Jenks couldn't get around with his canes anymore.

And just as he got Jenks in place, Jasper showed, and him cleaned up, that shirt Mama made him, that calico one. His hair combed and tied back. His moustache trimmed. Jasper was not vain as a rule. But today, he cared how he looked and that was amusing.

Now himself, white shirts is what Edward favored. Bella Marie ironed them just so, and he had missed that on the trail, well everytime he changed his clothes he thought of those shirts crisp like that and not right out of the saddle bag and creek-washed gray. Now he was home, since his bath in the river night before, he had one of them crisp shirts, two now since he'd slept in the first and maybe with the drinking threw-up some on it. So he wore a fresh one, and these shirts made a man feel downright...new or like, and then she made them...Bella Marie...and under the pocket she always sewed a little red heart, just him and her and maybe Mama knew about these hearts. Well she was a loving sister and shit his finger was there now. over that pocket feeling the red stitching no one could see and his own, real heart beating beneath it. She was uncommonly creative about things. Bella.

So here was Jenks. Edward was glad to see the old codger. Since Pa...well Jenks was all right. But his Missus was coarse and unfettered as always, a voice like a bucket of gravel shook up. "Well give your old aunt a kiss," she said first to Edward, then to Jasper. It was always a point of horrifying laughter between them. Since they'd reached manhood she'd been feeling on them, squeezing out a hug or a wet lick on the cheek. Edward loved to see Jasper get it and same for him, Jasper loved to see Edward caught in her claws as he was now, Lord this woman reeking of tobacco and something he didn't want to think what, and a pat on his butt after the kiss and just...violation, and Jasper snickering.

Alice, child-sized as she was, must have drank from the same cow as Bella Marie. She had also filled out, though Edward was careful not to look directly. But she was a beauty in her right, though Bella Marie, well he had a bent. And apparently Jasper did too, giving a hand to that Alice as she jumped out, jumped past the hand, then took it. "Oh thank you kindly Mr. Jasper." And his brother chuckled some, Edward heard it, deep in his throat it was. Well Edward would have the final chuckle Jasper got snared and ended with Missus Cope for mother-in-law. Mr. Shadow-Rider of the Prairie, as they'd liked to call him on the drive, the men did, and Jasper didn't care. He couldn't care less than he did, in fact.

And Paul...he'd lost some of the fat that rounded his cheeks and plumped his middle. And his eyes were scanning the place for Bella. This was probably the best he was ever gonna look, Edward figured, and it not great. He could see that right off. Paul had not been able to ride the Chisholm with them, Jenks insisting the boy was more needed at home, and that was fine, it really was, but then, just say what it was. Jenks didn't want him to go. Don't make it sound noble. It wasn't. Paul wasn't ready, big damn fine baby that he was cause he sent to fluster everything he touched. And that did not include Edward's sister Bella Marie.

But Sister came then, and she went right to Alice, and that one stood near Jasper who was getting his turn with Missus. Then Bella looked at Edward, just a glance but it told him about everything with that fire in her eyes. She'd avoided him that morning, that house of theirs grown so small he'd had a tin of peaches seemed bigger once. And so she had stayed so busy helping Mama, them cooking. Then she'd gone in her room when he sat at table and nursed his banging head and drank his coffee. The table seemed odd to him as he'd drank his coffee outside around the fire for so long, but he was civilizing again, and setting there waiting to get someplace better in health and with his sis before this buck, this Paul showed and things got confusing.

But she had avoided him, and Lord she looked pretty this morning, and wearing his apron, it a nice red print and he always knew red would favor her, his little sis. That apron tied brought her shape to the fore, and he didn't know, maybe it was wrong, or not best, this Paul here, and her hair catching the sun, well this Paul was going to shit over himself, he already was fumbling, clutching his hat between his two awkward hands, twisting it round as he said, "Good morning, Miss Bella," in that voice Edward never favored, that thin voice with no conviction.

"Good morning, Paul," Bella said strong, another look Edward's way.

Well what did that mean, eying him over Paul's bent head, his stammering and yammering head. She wanted to say something to him she shouldn't have stayed busy and then holed up...a wall between her room and where he shared with Seth and a door between them she kept closing and now this Paul between. She wanted to be a woman, be one for heaven sakes. Look a man in the eye sometime maybe.

Well she was, now, and he looked away and they got to setting up the yard for the celebrate then, and Ma bossed them all and they carried the table out, the chairs. They'd have it right there, load the table, invite the men from yonder and eat their bounty and drink it too, the sun got high and fell to the ground. They'd be dancing by sun-down. Well he wouldn't.

Once they got the tables set make-shift under the trees he and Jasper unloaded the kettle of beef and got it set up there. Jenks was known for this, the way he'd roast it buried in the ground. Edward looked forward to it, had it other places, even on the trail, but none so good as Jenks blended the mesquite and pecan woods, then that hot as fire sauce he lavished it with, like God's love on a sinner is what.

Right off when the food was set and the hands had filled plates and sat off on the ground some, and the Copes and the Cullens were in their own circle, and the womenfolk had finally been able to set themselves and taste the food they'd slaved over, right then Jenks spoke, for he'd already eaten two plates full, being served first and all, and he said, "Well we been tied by labor and fortune and now, bless God we gonna tie ourselves in the natural way, the way God intended in this here Garden of Eden."

Edward had been working a piece of pie, and it fell off his fork now.

Edward looked at his sister and saw her arms folded, much as his now were, and Bella's chin was up and she was glaring at him again, and he'd been nothing but concilliatory.

But as dreadful as he felt over what was to come next, Alice seemd eager. "Me first," Alice blurted. "All my life it's second fiddle to Paul, but not this time," she insisted.

"Jasper," Jenks said, "it ain't no secret she's got her cap set on you. What you say?"

Even when Jasper was mad, he was direct with not much extra. He had been setting on the back two legs of his chair, his coffee cup resting on his thigh. He set that on the table now as he brought that chair to balance on all fours.

"That funny cap?" Jasper said nodding toward the silly one she currently wore.

She always tied her home-made hats tight under her chin cause this Texas wind liked to rip them from her head and she always fussed about that.

"Don't you change the subject Jasper Cullen," she said standing and hitting Jasper on the head with her napkin.

Jasper put his arm up to fend her off cause she kept flogging him with the napkin.

"I aim to get married and I reckon you'll do," she said about as fierce as a bee trapped in a bottle.

She waited, hands on her hips. This was better than the live theatre in Abilene. That good beef wasn't the only flesh been barbequed at this table. Jasper didn't look scared at all though.

Just when Edward figured Jasper wasn't going to step in it, Jasper motioned to the boys sitting under yonder trees eating their pie. "Might as well throw your rope over one of them doggies," he said.

She went to flogging him again, and he got on his feet, his chair falling back, and she came for him fists flying now, and that was the real her, they knew. She was calling him names, and he was laughing and got his arms around her and got her over his shoulder like she was nothing more than a sack of corn and he walked her over to those rowdies and smacked her bottom to still her and asked those ones if any were fixing to marry they should line up for this little stick of dynamite was looking to get hitched.

Those wranglers knew better than to do more than gawk and hope it was so. Jasper walked away and took Alice to the house and sat her all politely on the stoop. He even straigtened her hat. Well she was quiet now, a look on her like Lord if she had a gun. But she was still hopeful now he'd been funning and he would drop to his knee about now and pop that question.

But he walked away then, went by that table of food and got him a biscuit.

Alice growled so loud. She picked up the ax Seth had left leaning by the door. But before she could go after Jasper, Bella walked quickly to her. "Alice," she said.

Alice looked at her, all defeated of a sudden. Bella took that ax and leaned it where it belonged. Then she glared across the yard at Edward like all the sins of mankind stemmed from him.

Next she pulled Alice into the house and that one didn't resist no more than a rag doll might. Well that door slammed against them all, but Edward felt like she meant it for him even though Jasper had walked off whistling.

Edward stood now. Maybe he should go in there, face it, whatever it was.

But Jenks' next words brought him back to his chair. He began with the word, "Paul." Seems that one didn't even have the guts to ask Edward himself.

Maybe that was best.


	5. Chapter 5

Love Like a Hurricane 5

"Get in here," Bella said, struggling to keep Alice from running back out the door to chase after Jasper.

"Let me out," Alice said through her teeth, "so I can throw that plate of biscuits at his head." But Bella had her around the waist and she just hung on like she did to a horse tried to throw her once. She had her eyes closed and everything and Alice started to yell. "I can't breathe."

That's when Bella let go, but only long enough to get a grip on Alice's arm. She shook the girl some to make her shut her yapper, and her little hat was rattling around, well the flower sticking right up from it was.

"Get in here," Bella said again, only this time she meant her room and she half-dragged Alice in there and slammed the door. She barred it with the wood, well Edward had put that barricade on it case the Indians ever got in and she needed to retreat for her life. And she went to the window and closed the shutters, same thing, protection from the red men, with those little windows cut in them to shoot through.

Her room was pretty dark now and Alice was breathing pretty hard, but in no time she sunk to her knees and sobbed into her hands.

Bella plopped onto her bed and blew a big breath purely exasperated. "Alice Sue you have got to go mute for just a minute, honey, so I can get a word in."

Alice looked up, her poor face so bedraggled. "But he don't love me."

Bella slid off the bed and got on the floor right up in Alice's red face.

"If you would listen to me maybe we could turn the herd, for once."

"What herd?" Alice whispered pathetically.

"My brother...and Jasper."

"You mean my brother...and Jasper." She wiped her nose on her gloved hand.

"No darlin', I mean my brother...and Jasper."

"Ain't Jasper your brother, too?"

"Yes he is."

"So...you mean, you mean...what in tarnation do you mean?"

"I mean that all my life I been planning on marrying Edward."

"You meant that?"

"Of course."

"That's a sin or something."

"He ain't my blood."

"But still...no that's disgusting. There's no way I could marry Paul."

"But Paul is your brother. And...there's no way in this world I could marry him either."

"You Jezebel!" Alice said, trying to get on her feet but struggling seeing she was standing on her skirt.

Bella gripped Alice's skinny arm and pulled her back to sit on the floor. "You are sitting here crying like a noodle over the man who just mortified you in front of everyone. Don't you see it? Truest thing you ever said was you was tired of Paul always first. I was proud of you, girl, saying that. I was sitting straight in my chair."

"Proud of me?" she repeated.

"Dying where I sat hearing you being brave for all womenkind. We are put last. We always are," Bella said.

"You feel that way too? You don't have it so bad. You get to see Jasper all the time."

"Now don't go off again. I was only proud that little space of time. After that...it wasn't anything to wave a flag about."

"You mean me with the napkin?"

"No...well yes."

"I didn't want to hurt him...not until I used my fists."

Bella just nodded. Lord she had so much work ahead of her. "You want to bring that Jasper Cullen to his knees?"

Now that did spark some hope in Alice's poor little face. "Yes I do...but...if you're in love with Edward...what's to stop you from going after Jasper seeing as...a man being your brother is not a high fence to you...and Edward does not seem to fancy you back. Ma'am."

"Alice Sue, Jasper is my brother. Seth is my brother. It can be no other way. But Edward...I have always felt differently for him. Edward...is my heart."

Alice held onto her hat as if trying to keep all Bella said in her head. "You know what folks will say...you living under the same roof. It ain't right."

"Alice Sue, don't you even imply I don't know my morals. What if Jasper had been adopted into your family? What if you felt as you do now? Would that mean your love was any less pure and true?"

Alice pondered this for a full minute, at least she seemed to, both hands on her hat now. "I ain't so sure it's pure now. But true...it could be nothing else!"

Bella pressed on, "We must take a stand! We must stand back to back our rifles raised!"

"What am I supposed to do?" Alice said, at last willing to by-pass the awkward issue of Bella in love with her brother, as Bella was willing to lay aside her curiosity over Alice's love not being pure.

"You must keep your temper in check and let me take the lead out there. Just do what I do. Back me up like we are standing before the Kiowa nation in nothing more than our birthday skins."

"Our skins? Saints alive!"

"You and me...we're gonna turn this herd in our direction for once. But it's gonna take some guts to ride the flank. I don't know if you got the sass."

"I can't go bare in front of those vaqueros."

"We are not going to peel off, Alice. For goodness sakes. We shall not use our feminine wiles at all. We are going to use our minds," Bella said, pointing furiously at her temple.

"Our minds are the best wiles we got?"

"We can out think them, Alice."

"But we're not supposed to, are we? Ain't that our punishment...acting like they're smarter?"

"No Alice. Not our punishment. Our weapon."

"Oh," Alice said, truly enlightened now, so much so she sat right up.

"The thing is, Alice...Edward always says don't raise a gun you ain't willing to shoot," she had mimicked Edward too, making him sound kind of slow and dumb, and Alice giggled. Then more slowly and subdued Bella said, "Thing of it is...we may have to get on a train and...go off to school."

"What?" All the hope seemed to run right out of Alice then.

"I mean...the road to Edward and Jasper Cullen...might run through Illinois."

Alice flopped her hands in her lap. "Mama always says I should be like you. Little goodie girl...that's what I call you to myself. But you ain't good...you're crazy! And that thing about the gun...my Pa says that. That's where Edward got it."

"Listen to me Alice Sue, we are not going to spend our lives with the back-up men they would condemn us to. We are not going to be pathetic, thrown over shoulders our backsides on display like sides of...beef!"

Alice's hands flew to her backside. "Did it look huge?" she asked, frantic now to think the vaqueros had compared her rump to a roast.

"He felt no shame," Bella said through her teeth. She had not wanted to use this particular argument on poor Alice, but she was willing. For she had raised her gun. And there was no turning back.

"No shame," Alice repeated, her eyes seeing something afar off, imagining how he had...humiliated her...and walked away whistling.

Bella smiled. She was ready now. They...were ready.


	6. Chapter 6

Love Like a Hurricane 6

Once Bella and Alice had quelled the matters of the heart and washed their faces and smoothed their clothes, which for Bella also meant retying her apron, and for Alice meant righting her hair and her hat and adjusting several layers of frills and shaking her petticoat as it was ridiculously layered with ruffles, so much so that Jasper Cullen had looked somewhat smothered in lace and gathers when he'd first thrown her over his shoulder like a meal sack.

But once the two young women had examined themselves in the looking glass Edward had carefully transported from Galveston on one of his many trips for improving the ranch, allowing him to see this world...unlike Bella, and Alice for that matter, who had both been homegrown and pretty much stuck on their ranches like neglected carrots left in the gardon over winter...well, they encouraged one another with a nod and went back outside.

Bella held the door for Alice so she could make an appearance first.

They were practically ignored. Bella would say practically, for the hands all looked, looked away, looked, looked away, looked...

And Edward stared at Bella pretty much, the look on his face though, such a look she had not seen since she was eight years old and had ridden Alameda into the river hoping she could swim her across.

Well she had not known a horse needed freedom when it swam, she had not known that until Edward, having rescued her from nearly drowning her beloved mount, held her head above water and then dragged her onto the bank. And what a tongue lashing he did give her. He had raised his voice, and that look on his face, that ruined look, even while he took off his own wet shirt and put it over her soaked dress, even while he alternated between hugging her tight and holding her an arm's length so he could yell some more.

He had that kind of face now, like she'd done something so purely bad there was no cross and no redemption and her name was crossed out of the book of life.

"Come over here Bella Marie," Jenks called out.

Bella looked briefly at Alice Sue and went sedately to stand before Jenks.

"Edward has given permission for you to marry my son Paul."

"High times in the valley," Mrs. Jenks Cope called out before taking a big swig of the red wine she about loved and not quite wiping off the red moustache left behind.

Mama sat, hands on the table, staring big-eyed at her daughter.

Bella turned toward Edward now, slouched as he was in his chair, his knees pretty wide, one hand dangling from the chair's arm, the other holding a cup of that wine Mrs. Jenks brought.

He was still looking at her that way, not even blinking at all. Well he was about the most handsome man God ever thought of. And she had been practicing how she couldn't let that knock her sideways.

He had, afterall, given permission for her to marry another. He had rejected her, ripped her love from himself like Joseph's brothers ripped away his coat of many colors and covered it in an animal's blood.

"Well...brother. I have an announcement to make." Unable to look at Edward any longer, she turned back to Jenks. "I have received the call to attend college."

Great time for Jasper to show. He came up from behind her and dropped in to the chair next to her, the same chair he'd been in when Alice went wild.

Bella cleared her throat, "I wish to prepare myself for the mission field. Seems I won't be marrying anybody...but Jesus."

She heard Jasper snort. That's when Alice Sue stepped up behind Jasper's chair.

"And I'm going too," she said.

Now Jasper snorted louder. He turned in that chair so fast. "Going where?"

"To college," Alice said more loudly. "I want to give my life to working with the...the um, Kiowa. So I am going to school to prepare myself...for the mission field...too."

Alice looked briefly at Bella. She smiled a little, but Bella could not. While she appreciated Alice's attempt to be creative, saying the word, "Kiowa," was like letting seven rats out of a hole with no hope of getting them back in. Alice may have blown their plan to the third heaven.

Jasper stood so fast his chair flew back and Alice caught it, holding it there, tipped back that way, then she raised it like she might have to use it to tame a lion...Jasper Cullen.

"You makin' fun of me girl?" Jasper said, his face so red...his eyes so red...and if a voice had a color...that was red too.

Edward was quickly on his boots. He spoke loudly to the hands in Spanish. They slowly got up and ambled off, albeit reluctant. He had interrupted the family drama at a very interesting place and they were craning their necks to see how it played out.

While the two families waited for their audience to disperse, Bella wrung her hands, Jasper grabbed that chair from Alice and threw it aside. They were locked in a stare-fight, much like a gun fight, only with no guns, just eyes.

"Jasper," Edward warned, his tone making Bella's shoulders creep a little higher round her ears.

Paul said, "Bella Marie," like he was ready to cry.

"I knew that girl would break his heart, crush him down," Mrs. Cope said loud. Then she buried her face in her cup.

Jenks said, "Quiet, Mother." His brow was raised as he studied Bella. "Reckon these are your ideas."

"No, Pa. I have long...," Alice said, her and Jasper still locked.

But Jenks cut her off. "Quiet Daughter." Then to Bella once more, "Young woman can toy with a man's affections. She can quick get a reputation for being insincere...and for a lot of things."

Bella never liked it when Jenks commented on her character. She didn't see what gave him a right, but since Edward and Jasper had been gone so long, Jenks took over some, thinking he was her pa.

"Always wondered you didn't have some Mex blood," he said, like that explained everything and Bella couldn't believe her ears and Edward protested same time Jasper did. Edward wouldn't like it so personal on her, and Jasper wouldn't like her blood considered. But they didn't know... Mr. Jenks Cope didn't like not knowing her folks. Pa Cullen had brought her home to Ma. Were it up to a man like Jenks, he might of left her to die in that raid, the broken, bloody house where her parents were killed.

Jenks held up his hand. "I mean no disrespect at all. Just saying...all summer you boys been gone she been leading on my Paul."

"Still waters..." Mrs. Cope called out like God had given her a word.

"Your Daddy was alive you'd have these fool notions about schoolin' out of your head soon enough. Paul here has been willing to overlook your...uncertainties. What a good woman needs to know can't be taught in schoolrooms and books," Jenks said.

Bella wanted to sigh. Jenks was his own enemy. She just wished he'd keep talking, but he didn't have to.

Edward banged the table and Jasper broke from Alice and turned toward Jenks, too, slapping the table with two hands and making the dirty dishes rattle like the earth quaked.

"What are you sayin', Jenks?" Jasper yelled out.

"Jasper," Edward said again, the only one Jasper might listen to.

"Jenks, Bella is my sister," Edward said.

"Our sister," Jasper said.

"She is only sixteen," Edward continued. "And I am head of this family. She don't want to marry this son of yours, best we know now. As for anything else...you and my Pa go back, and we done real good in the cattle business but you talk about her again like you just done...we're through."

"See the trouble you caused you, harpie," Mrs. Cope blurted, pointing the hand holding her sloshing cup Bella's way. Bella had to admit, the old woman was the only one seemed to have a suspicion close to the truth.

"Hush Mother," Jenks said, right on time.

"Son of a bitch," Jasper yelled straightening. "Your whole bunch is crazy!" he yelled at Alice. He started to stalk off, then turned quickly and went to Alice. She did cringe some, but she held her ground and Bella nearly clapped her hands.

"You want to go kiss the cajones on those thievin', killin' Kiowa...you go on. I ain't gonna try to stop you. Some folks can't be reasoned with," he said, his teeth clenched tight.

Alice had leaned away from him, but she straightened now. "Well...thanks for your blessing. It...means the world." She looked at Bella, her eyes big as biscuits. But she turned back to Jasper quick.

Jasper shook his head, his rage seeming to go up on that. "You gonna get this girl in line Jenks?" he pretty much roared.

"That girl belongs to her mama. She ain't never left her side. She won't be leaving it now. I wear the pants in my family. You all might try it sometimes," Jenks said easy, his eyes landing on Bella.

Bella glanced at Edward. He was studying her, a near smile taking place on that mouth of his.

She put her eyes front and center and moved her hands behind her back. She'd always heard that expression about reading someone's mind. Well she could read his. Wasn't hard. She learned how along with her primer. He was relieved. He had been serving himself all along, trying to get rid of her so he could stay his righteous self. Big brother. So he could please his mama like he always did, so he could be looked up to and worshipped by everyone in this valley, her included. Her mostly. That's why he'd tried to palm her off, sell her off to Paul so easy. At first, it had torn him, deep in it had. But then he didn't see another way and at least with Paul he could still simper around her and drive her crazy. He wouldn't see Paul as much of a creek to jump. He'd still play big brother, and loving big brother at that. She could see it all now.

And he'd put that bug in her ear about school. He knew she loved reading and such. And if she got that bug out and looked, she figured something like this might happen. He'd pulled her bluff about Paul, now she'd pulled his about school, and either way he won, he got what he wanted...her...but caged one way or another so he could stay...pure. That's how he would see it. Poor thing.

Now she fought a smile. The one wasn't smiling was Alice. Jasper had showed something today the way he'd fought her. Cool stream of water Jasper Cullen was ready to drop a watermelon right out of his britches.

She was proud of that girl. And Jenks was so right, Mrs. Jenks, drunk as she was most the time, had no power to deny Alice anything in this world. Alice Sue wanted to go to school she would nag her mama's ears off until that woman packed her a trunk her own self and sent her off in a hired wagon. Jenks only had one cuff on those pants he wore. His willy was naked and tiny, that a fact. It was that drunk Missus had the britches in place. Well it was usually that way from what Bella had seen. And if a woman believed it, even a little, well her cradle rocking hand could rule her own world at least.

She started to gather the dishes then. They needed washed. Doing such put them all at ease. It was...like she knew her place. Like...they'd only imagined she was asking for more.


	7. Chapter 7

Love Like a Hurricane 7

The Copes packed up early and took off for home. For the first time ever their comraderie with Edward's family had soured. This was a hard thing, but Edward could be a hard man...like Jenks. Like Jasper. Soft men didn't last long in Texas.

The old man had crossed a line talking about Bella that way where a maybe could catch on the wind and land like a spark on dry sage.

Until now, Jenks was that biblical man, that man that stuck closer than a brother. Least ways he'd proved true Edward's whole life. Jenks and Pa went back to the Mexican war where they fought to bring Texas in to the Union. That's where Jenks lost most of the use of his legs. But Jenks and Pa were good as blood and they'd staked their ranches and held them through thick and thin and grief and fire and Edward's course was clear.

So Edward never minded Jenks' ways. Other than their foreman Stover, him a freeman who spoke honest but knew his place, there had been no iron over him and Jasper, no sense of an old man there to hold the place. But war came, Jenks wouldn't move off. Between Stover and Jenks Cope...they held on to this land Pa's blood had soaked red.

When it came, that war, Jasper went. But Edward stayed and it wasn't easy...his mind being more fraught with peril over family and cattle and land and fair and just and a country he loved much as he loved Texas.

But 1861 he took the families, his and Jenks', in to Old Mexico to escape conscription into the Confederate army and to save his family from the war. This time it wasn't the Mex, it wasn't the Indians, it was folks looked just like him. It was Texans, Lord, God.

Jenks and Pa's old pard Charlie lived pretty deep over the border with his Spanish wife and passel of children. They stayed safe there, guarded from many enemies by the orneriest bunch of independent renegade Americans you'd ever want to see, but none so vile, in Edward's opinion, as the Confederacy who would undo what honest and true Texans had died to achieve in gaining freedom from Mexico and bringing Texas in to the Union. Charlie's band welcomed any and all who protested secession. Particularly if they came from those who fought to make Texas free in the great war. And Pa, well he was saint among them and from the grave they gathered under Pa's righteous wing.

So Edward straddled that shaky fence. He would not fight for the gray, and he would not take arms against Texas, nor against his own brother, misguided though he was, and the men he knew...the men he revered...Texans.

He was resolute in going the way of his hero, Sam Houston. Like Mr. Houston, he resigned the whole affair and waited it out and protected his own and sometimes he came up and branded with Stover who oversaw what he'd left and reported to Jenks. They would brand one for him, one for Jenks, and every once in a great while one for Stover and all the while they watched their backs from Indians who would steal their horses, and soldiers who would take him in for not joining.

Well he had lived. But his hero Sam Houston died on Texas soil before the war was over.

All that history...the Cullens and the Copes like blood, and now he came home from the trail and it's like the devil had been busy. Jenks had gotten confused about how far to spread his turkey feathers. Now he was beholden for everything Jenks had done over time, but he had just made him a damn rich man, and if Jenks put Bella Marie in his sites, Edward meant he would break with Jenks. He saw threat to his...he would do it.

So evening came. Edward sat there in the breezeway, wrapped up in himself like a burrito as he sat on a bench, back against the house, legs stretched forward and ankles crossed, hat tipped over his face so he could ponder, maybe get some shut-eye and should Mama or Bella Marie come out there either might see he was not set for a discussion had anything to do with the future. They'd talk about school tomorrow.

Jasper had taken off after the party broke, after they talked under the Cottonwood and disagreed about school and Bella Marie and Edward had said, "You gonna settle this with Alice Sue," and Jasper had denied there was feelings. He was probably seeking solace in that gal's arms, that Mex gal Maria, right now, and that would mean whiskey, maybe worse, and two lost days cause Jasper was always free to let the son of a bitch out regular.

Edward had learned to live without him. When he came home it wasn't the same for a long time, and it wasn't the same now, between them. Edward had hoped the trail would fix it some, but nothing had much changed. They were two men saw it different.

Maybe that was part of his confusion with Bella Marie. He'd never known a time he wasn't responsible for her, not hardly. He'd grown up knowing she was his. He never had to wonder what all that was or wasn't. He'd been careful watching over and providing, carrying on Pa's work, not letting their enemies take it all, take them.

Maybe he was hard to live with came to being heard. He tried, but he had to know the right way, always had to know. He didn't get to make mistakes. He had to think for them all. He had to be right all the time. If that set him apart, it just did. A man had to be willing...to sacrifice.

She was out there then, kicked lightly at his boots. "Edward?"

He pushed his hat back, the night breeze cooling his sweaty face. She was beautiful in sunlight. She was captivating in the moon's blue wash.

"Yes Bella?"

"Should I write a letter to the college? I don't even know it's handle."

He laughed a little. Why did he feel so sad?

"It's called Almira College," he said. "I will find out where to send your letter, will post it for you soon as you finish."

"What...should I say?"

He took in a breath. Her feet were bare and he smiled. "You should say...you want to come there and you need the papers. You should say we got cash money and we will deliver you to their school on the day they say to."

She nodded then. "I...am grateful you would allow...this."

"You didn't want Paul," he said.

She smiled now. "Paul...is like a brother to me."

He looked at her there...this angel Bella Marie. She was saying Paul was brother. She was saying he, Edward...was more. "You get there...don't forget...we are always ready to come...you have need."

She stared at the floor. "I would call you. Only you," she said, lifting her eyes to look him full in the face.

He pulled back his feet, they were close to the edge of her nightie. He kept his ankles crossed, but he straightened some and cleared his throat. "And I would come," he said. "I always will."

"Well that what Mr. Jenks said...what do you think I am?"

"My sister." My heart. "My blood. Same blood. Whatever I am...that's you too."

"But...we don't really know."

"Who don't know? I just told you what I know."

She slowly sat beside him now. She was sweet soap and girl. Just innocent and...God how would he put all those miles between?

"Jenks ain't the first to wonder," she said.

He put his arm around her. She laid her head on his shoulder. He pressed his cheek to her dark glossy hair. Well he had to be careful, but this was just love. He loved her. "Bella Marie, you got this whole world to put your mark upon, girl. You get to that school...you remember who you are...who we are. We don't lay down for no one. We got a right to live and breathe, you hear me?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"You get to that fine school you take your place. You'll set that place on fire. Cause this world ain't seen what you can do. You got something in you...something...fine."

They stayed that way until Seth came home. Bella had fallen asleep that way, but Edward, he had not. He did not want to miss a moment...of this.


	8. Chapter 8

Love Like a Hurricane 8

Alice Sue was already in bed when the rider charged in to their yard. Years of such moments made her quick. She was out of bed and wrapped in her robe and standing in the kitchen holding her rifle. Alice liked to see what was coming. She promised herself she'd never die easy.

Paul was at the door, six-gun cocked and ready. He looked through the peep-hole. "Jasper," he said.

"Alice Sue," Jasper yelled about then.

"What in hell," Jenks could be heard from bed yonder fumbling for his six-shooters. He never laid his head they weren't within arm's reach and the rifle too. "Shoot over his head and tell him to come back decent in the gol-durn mornin'."

Now Paul was conflicted. Alice knew he was a good son, but she had little patience for his need to stick his finger in the wind. No one was shooting at Jasper 'less it was her. She grabbed the barrel of his new rifle and pushed it aside. "Get back to bed," she said.

She yanked that door and Jasper hadn't even bothered to dismount. Just like him too, and evey other lazy Texan she knew couldn't go to the outhouse 'less they had a horse to ride.

So she went out on the porch, looked around and gathered her frilly robe higher under her chin, her usually pinned hair all wild now, all around her small face, but her rifle in her other hand. Jasper knew what a crack shot she was.

"Well?" she said to him knowing he was liquored, the bottle was still in his hand.

"You think I'm comin' over here to pull y'all up here and ride away?"

"Better not try it," she said, cradling that gun.

Jenks was calling out wanting a report, fussing how a man riding up come dark never brought good news.

Paul was telling him Jasper didn't have a gun in his hand, just whiskey. Jenks went on about the hour and Alice turned to pull the door tight against their noise.

"Might as well go on to those Mex gals you got. Think I don't know?"

"I never made you," and he belched here, "no promise."

"That's right. You never did," she said, a new something in her...just the knowing she had the option of running away, same as Jasper did the notion took him...well she wasn't desperate no more.

"You go to the Kiowa though...I'll never stand by."

"Well...you never did anyway," she said.

They stared at one another, though he could have fallen asleep and she wouldn't know for sure, dark as it was.

Paul yanked the door then. "Daddy says I got to come alongside out here in the dark an' all."

Jasper threw his bottle against the house, right near Jenks Cope's window and that bottle shattered and Jenks and the Missus roared but it was doubtful Jasper heard seeing as he roared too, "I about had my fill of Jenks Cope this day...of all y'all."

He rode off then, and pulled up short, turned that horse around and trotted right back to the porch. "Tell you another thing," he said to Alice, "you even think about helping the Kiowa...no...no another thing yet, you take off for that school don't think I'll be settin' around here like some...," then he pointed at Paul, "like that one, my pecker in my hand..."

Paul stepped up then and said, "Y'all get now, Jasper, go on home and sleep it off..."

But Alice shot over Jasper's head fast enough, and his horse reared and threw him off, then it took off, and Jasper groaned and rolled to his side.

"Oh my God," Alice whispered, "ain't natural how riled that man gets me."

For a full minute her and Paul stood there staring as Jasper stilled.

"Should we drag him in?" Paul asked her.

Jenks yanked the door wide then. He was using his canes, his hair smashed straight up, what he'd left of it, and his striped nightshirt on.

"Leave him," Jenks said. "Get in here and bar the door."

And that's what they did.

But as soon as it was quiet and Pa and Mama were snoring in chorus and Paul was too, Alice unbarred the door and took her quilt and her rifle and sat on the porch watching over Jasper Cullen's restless form. Soon as he'd take on one new posture and seem to quiet some, he'd get to muttering and contort himself into another. She couldn't imagine sharing his bed were he like this. Sounded like he was back in the war again. Hard to tell which battle. He'd been shooting things since he was younger than her.

But after a while she leaned that gun and took her quilt and threw that over him. He didn't stir and she squatted beside him and ran her hand over his hair. Oh God he was ornery. He had broken the last bits of her heart with his stubborn rejection.

Least she knew he wasn't with those other gals this night. Once she was gone, she wouldn't have to know. He was the meanest...most stubborn...darndest...most hateful... She didn't have one idea why she should care about him. He wasn't even that handsome...well he was...but he wasn't if she thought of how he could twist his face all up and be so cruel.

But he never had until she mentioned the Kiowa.

He could be just as sweet. He could make her insides sizzle like butter in the skillet.

She slapped him on the shoulder and stood again. Damn him.

But then he muttered. "Alice Sue," he said. Was he dreaming of her?

"Oh," she whispered going to her knees. She took his hand and sat there beside him. She touched his hair again, then for a long time.

"You're fine," she whispered. "You're fine now."

He moved some, onto his side, his body close to hers. He still slept, was passed out more likely, but she reckoned he knew he wasn't alone now, maybe thought it was her even...or one of his others...no...he said her name.

She sat there so long, afraid of the dark, but not so much with him there. She started to nod, and got so tired she laid beside him, her back to him, and him curved behind her and that whiskey on his breath when he said her name and his hand covered her breast.

Well her eyes were open now. "Jasper," she whispered. "Jasper Cullen!"

HIs hand stilled but it settled on her there, and without moving more than her eyes, and her chin just a mite, she looked at his hand touching her there, and had she not been lying, she would faint now. She could barely breathe, his strong hand there, just like she dreamed of.

"Maria," he said, tightening his hold.

Alice broke from his embrace and was quick on her feet looking down on him. He flopped onto his back and let out a snore could rival her pa.

She snatched her blanket from off him and marched to the porch, gathered her gun and went inside. She barred the door. Then she leaned her head against the wood and said, "I will not cry."

Then she went to Jenks' bed and shook him awake and he called out and Mama too.

"You both best know...Jasper Cullen put his hand on my breast."

"He what?" Jenks yelled searching madly for his guns and nearly falling out of the bed if Alice wouldn't have righted him.

"Pa, slow down. You got to let me go to that school. If you don't...I'll succumb to his charms. And you know he's a maverick. He won't be penned."

She left him yelling then, her father. She hoped it had been loud enough to stir Jasper awake, for Pa might shoot him now. And she might allow it.

But one way or other, she'd be going to that school with Bella Marie.


	9. Chapter 9

Love Like a Hurricane 9

Flat and dust and scrub and hard and worrisome and big and wide and tough and rough and rivers flowing in its veins...sunrises made you hope again...sunsets satisfied and broke your heart all at once...Texas...the wind blowing...the longhorns and the cattle the buffalo and horses...Indian, Mexican, Spanish, African, German, Irish and all the flavors...the stew, the mix...and grit and stomp and stamp and the noose and the gun and the knife and blood, all red, all the same dripping and soaking...Texas. Hoof stamped, boot plugged, moccassin kissed...Texas. The men...but the women...weathered, leathered, stubborn...and grand.

Well she didn't know a way to give it a hug, to tell it good-bye when it's all she'd known besides Old Mex and their time there, but Edward...long as she had him in her sites...or knew she was in his...but this was her branching out, cutting a new fork in the river, this was her...

Well Texas was his woman. Cattle were his children. That was the truth. A man like him...well Texas was in him, him shaped from its soil, this his garden and his Eve.

But he was coming with her for Edward Cullen did not shirk his duty, and she was that to him, she well knew, part of the garden he tended and set to rule. She was that...his sister...his honor to Mama and Pa...to see to her. See her to school now, even if he feared such, and she hoped he did at least...fear her leaving.

So she said good-bye to Seth and Mama and Jasper, him off to the side standing on his own. Mama patted her face, Seth cried right out. But Jasper, well he was curt for not only was she on this dog's chase, she was leading Alice off. Well Jasper was quiet, but he wasn't closed like most thought. He was just what he was. Didn't need to try and look deeper and that's where folks got fooled. There it was right on his face. He was just mad.

She got in the carriage with Edward. She was not careful to keep away, not with him. She let herself relax beside him after she waved and waved. Well, she needed to touch him, even it was just the brush of his leg, his shoulder. Didn't matter. She was a girl leaving home, and he was that...Texas.

He had stayed away, pulled away over the final weeks. He would argue it, tell her she was crazy. But the work of that ranch called to him like the whore in Proverbs called the fool. And he could not resist. Every animal out there not bearing a mark, well it's all he thought about, him and Jasper, searing their curves and lines into those hides. Being fruitful. Multiplying.

They had no skill with women, that was what she thought. And she sniffed some thinking it, peering at his brown hands on the reins. If something couldn't be hog-tied and branded, he had no idea how to gentle it with love.

Oh, she chided herself, it wasn't so. He had always been gentle with her. Jasper too. There was a side in them both if you were patient. Well...that strength running through his wrists, into those long fingers, it could be brutal...it could go soft. She knew.

Last night, he'd nearly got overcome after supper and the dishes, and him singing to her some on the breezeway. Well to them all, him and Seth and the harmony while Jasper played his guitar. She loved Edward's voice, the deep drop in it. Sometimes it's like he let that voice just wrap around her...and she wondered if he wasn't allowing that voice to do what he himself would not...just stir this painful love in her.

He nudged her now and handed her his bandana. "Go on and blow," he said.

That meant to wipe her eyes. Time she'd been young he'd been doing that, giving her his bandana for one thing or another. She took it now, and laid it on her knee, smoothed it over. She'd no more blow on it than she would the flag of Texas. Didn't he know?

She crushed it in her hand there and held it in a pale fist. He cleared his throat then. "Bella Marie...this is one of those days. They come like this...all quiet and here they are."

She waited. She watched his scruffy jaw work some as he pumped for his words. "Reckon, you're such a young lady and all...here it is."

She hoped this wasn't one of those speeches he said for his own ears and not hers at all, though he told himself it was for her and nearly patted his back he felt so fine when he was done, she knew.

"What does that mean?" she said.

His eyes...she was never used to them landing on her. "We promised not to fight."

Well he promised and just assumed, like always, that she had agreed.

"Just asking," she said.

He shifted around some, putting a thumb's worth of space between them, so she readjusted accordingly making sure they were touching again.

"No you're not," he said, like that bought him the right to retreat. She didn't want him to go quiet. She wanted that voice, all she could get...until she couldn't.

"Sorry," she said. "Go on."

"Now I forget."

"You said I was such a young lady and here it is."

He smiled to see she'd been listening, and she smiled back and he got stuck looking at her. Then he cleared his throat. "Young lady," he said, and it sounded like a run-away, like it didn't belong to the rest of his thoughts, which were all run-aways now.

They went on in silence.

She didn't want to go. It just welled up. What if...she never saw him again. And Mama, she had hardened herself against Mama the way Edward had hardened himself against her. What if Mama died while she was gone? How could she leave Mama? What if her leaving was the thing that killed Mama? And she'd been so heartless, only thinking of herself.

She was crying in to that bandana before she could think. Edward pulled up. His arm around her. "There, girl."

She leaned in to him, her hat getting crushed. "Mama," she choked out. She made herself swallow his name for it was next in the chute.

She cried some then, Lord it seemed like forever, and he stayed there, patting her back.

Soon as some dignity came she straightened and he told her to blow, and she wasn't even mad cause he'd likely never tell her again since he could die at any time on this damn battlefield called Texas.

Well she knew she was a wreck already. She wiped her face good and blew and all.

"I purely don't know," she finally said. "Maybe," and she gasped a little, like she could do when she got going, "maybe I should stay here and marry Paul...or one of those others." Well there had been some attention coming her way, and he'd fended it off pretty much, but some got to her, and she knew.

"No," Edward said sharp. "This is the jitters. Only way to feel better is to keep going. That all girl school...that's the place for one smart and pretty as you."

Smart and pretty. Now smart...that would have made sense. But what did being pretty, if she even was, have to do with her going to an all girl school?

Her tears dried right up. Just quit. She gave her nose a final swipe. "What you mean?" she said, right back where they started, only here.

She could see him searching through his words like he searched through those damn cattle, all the time checking brands. When he caught the trouble, his eyes hardened some. "I just mean what I been saying. I just mean that."

She knew what he'd been saying, she was fine and special and moo-moo-moo.

He thought he was tucking her away. He thought...he was putting her in a pumpkin shell and there to keep her very well. That's what she kept thinking. Knowing.

"You know your kind are in Illinois, too. And you won't be there to scare them off like you do around here." This pretty much escaped her lips.

He hunched forward so she couldn't look so straight at the side of his face. Now she could better see his shoulders. She longed for that time past before the drive when it seemed fine for her to rub his shoulders. He used to love that for he carried all the burdens of two families.

But now...she did not feel that liberty.

"You are a lady. I trust you," he said.

What did that mean? "You said I didn't need my gun in Illinois. You said that."

"And I meant it," he snapped.

"Isn't that what you do? Shove your revolver up their noses?"

"I don't do that," he scoffed.

She folded her arms. "Might as well."

"We are not arguing," he said firmly, glancing at her with his stern eyes.

Sounded like they were.

They settled in to silence for the rest of the ride to the Cope's ranch. It took them a while and they would sleep over before starting their trip. Things were some eased since the day she had refused to accept Jenks' bid for her to marry Paul. She knew how to be with Paul. It was potential wife she had no idea how to be. But a friend, she could do that. He had been withdrawn but it wasn't in him to hold a grudge on her or anyone.

Thing was, she had never been close to Alice Sue. Though same age, Bella had always seemed older. Even at school she had been ahead. Alice and her, they were just different, and both loners. Alice was close to her Mama and Bella was close to hers. Alice had Paul and Bella had Seth...and Edward. She'd never had Jasper much, but he was there if needed...until he went to war.

And they lived too far to see one another at will, so it was this. To go off together...that was something neither had foreseen and wouldn't have wished for. But now there was something new...a fear...a bond...a hurt...a hope. Now they were very aware of one another. On some level...clinging.

They spent their night, Jenks all talk of cattle. Jasper was still not allowed on the place. And he had given up his own brand and branded instead for Jenks, one hundred cattle as repair for touching Alice Sue's breast. Yes it was well known now in the families, well discussed. Jenks was either going to shoot Jasper, and nearly did as that one scurried out of the Cope's yard that night of the violation, barely escaping Jenk's wild attempt to murder him, or Jasper was going to pay. And pay he did.

But that night, neither able to sleep, Alice and Bella sat up late talking in Alice's room. Alice was gutted that Jasper had paid his debt to her pa as if...as if she was a damn horse he'd lamed. She also said she nursed herself with thoughts of her work amongst the Kiowa and the look on Jasper Cullen's face when he heard the news she'd been slaughtered in her misionary's bed, just like he predicted. He'd have to roam the plains of Texas with that thought and it brought her some miserable consolation. But, she said with heat, she knew he'd just console himself in Maria's bed, so living was the meanest thing she could do.

Several days later, Bella Marie and Alice stood on the deck of a mail transport ship, their arms around one another staring at the water below. Edward had brought them by land to Galveston, from there they took a this ship to New Orleans and then they would board a beautiful steamboat to St. Louis. Once they hit St. Louis they were free to take the train straight to Stokeville and Almira College. They were both teary-eyed, but it was quiet, it was sincere, it was grave. They were grieving...but they were living. They were seeing...the world was even bigger than Texas.


	10. Chapter 10

Love Like a Hurricane 10

On the mail ship, Bella and Alice suffered Edward's preoccupation over his new sweetheart- the grizzled ship's-captain. At supper the night before, they'd been guests at Captain Aro's table. He and Edward soon discovered similar political opinions. After the meal, the two men strolled on the deck while the girls walked several feet behind, yawning into their gloves. The captain had provided Cuban cigars and Edward seemed delighted to puff on the hand-rolled stinking thing as he swung his long legs and sent up the foreign smoke while the captain went on and on speculating about the Fifteenth Amendment which allowed a citizen to vote regardless of race, color, or a previous condition of servitude. Now what, the captain wondered, would that mean to the country? Next, he said, the whole country was going to go the way of Wyoming and let women vote and then what? Ruination, according to him.

Bella's ears were straining. Surely Edward would disagree. But to her consternation, he did not. As if he felt her stare, Edward turned to see her glaring. But his jaws were working that smoke and he was only looking to make sure they hadn't gone overboard, she reckoned.

Well if they had they'd be drowned by now as distracted as he was by their loquacious captain so full of his own opinions even a good tonic laxative could not save him.

While they talked Alice nudged Bella and waved her hand like she was going to choke on the pungent smoke from those stogies. This was not so offensive as the hot air coming from the captain's mouth. Edward had brought newspapers home from the trail. The women in Wyoming were bringing a new sense of order to the state now that they were able to vote and sit on juries and uphold the law the menfolk seemed to have forgotten. For sure they didn't want women to vote. Sons-of-guns.

Well the men were somewhere on the impeachment of the governor of North Carolina when two gentlemen passed and doffed their Bowler hats, once to the captain, another time to Bella and Alice. Edward looked over his shoulder to make sure those two strangers went on by. He had not seen the one wink at Bella and purse his lips. Alice Sue's mouth about dropped onto her bosom. She was turned around gawking at those fellows when Bella elbowed her in the ribs of her corset to get her to remember she was in love with Jasper. But Edward did not linger on them. Captain Aro had just revealed he had roots in ranching. So those two took off then on the wonders of cattle, particularly hoof and mouth disease. Alice whispered, "They're gonna kiss pretty soon."

That's when Bella did the snort-giggle that made Edward look over his shoulder once more. He frowned, like he was some put out this time. He said, "You all right Bella Marie?"

Alice answered for her. "She was taken aback over the captain's description of that longhorn's mouth sores. It's like we could see them ourselves. Ain't that so Bella?"

Edward smirked around that stogie and they resumed their discussion as if Alice Marie was a fly that buzzed.

Then Alice whispered, "Hope we get invited to the wedding." Well they couldn't stop giggling over that.

A ship like this one only had nine rooms for passengers. Bella and Alice shared a stateroom. Edward had a more modest cabin several doors down. They had walked past their room several times, but the exercise felt wonderful and they felt so grown-up and worldly, they weren't inclined to retire early. Especially since they both had trouble falling asleep in places other than home. So when Edward had finally parted ways with the captain and walked them to their room, Bella found herself a mite bombarded with a big wave of homesickness.

Alice went in first and Bella lingered by the door, by Edward. His hand closed gentle on her arm. "You're missing Mama?"

Well how did he know, so caught up in the captain and all.

"Yes," she said, her voice shaky.

"But you were having your fun back there with Alice Sue tonight?"

"Well not so much. I wanted to tell the captain a thing or two."

"Oh…well glad you remembered your manners," he said.

She folded her arms and he let her go.

"Guess that one that winked his eye and smacked his lips at me should of remembered his."

"What? That gambler?" Now his arms dropped to his sides.

"Maybe. Not that you'd notice." Well this would be about his honor. She didn't know what made her tell him. Well she did.

He swore some and looked off, all outraged. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were busy listening to the captain blame women for the downfall of the country. Or maybe you were talking about Hoof and Mouth about then, I really don't recall." She was glaring at him now, but thing of it, she wasn't really mad. It was just so gratifying to get a reaction like this.

Well he ripped off his hat and paced, then leaned on the rail. The wind was moving his hair. She moved beside him, her elbows on the rail, like his.

"You should have told me," he said quiet, still not looking at her.

"You remember…I am from Texas," she said.

"What's that mean?" he asked, and now he did turn those eyes on her and he looked worried. "You…what are you saying? You had a man…what are you saying?"

"Whoa," she said. "Not that. I ain't been touched."

That was the thing. Lord, God, a woman got touched, someone died. She'd seen Edward pull a cowboy off his horse, just for stopping his mount too close to hers so he could say howdy. But this Bowler hat on board this ship did not deserve to pay for all the sins Edward seemed to be imagining took place in Texas.

He went back to leaning and staring at the dark water. She reached up slow and smoothed his hair some. His hand jerked up and he raked his fingers over where she'd touched then smashed his hat back on his head. She knew he'd rather she kept her hands to herself.

"You were a good brother," she said.

"I still am. You going away don't change that," he said.

"I know," she whispered.

She leaned close then, let her shoulder touch his arm. She loved the smell of outdoors on him, always had. It made her feel safe and it made her feel loved. Even with the trace of cigar, she wanted to put her arm around him and lay her head against that white shirt, touch that pocket and what it hid. Truth to tell she didn't know how she'd hold up when it came time to say a final good-bye. He always knew how far these miles she was putting between herself and family ran. So the giggling, it had helped…it had been fun…and they hadn't meant a thing.

She was tearing up, but it was growing late and she was tired. But she wouldn't sleep, she knew. And she about hated being this melancholy. Well she'd grown up with him and he brought it out, and that was just humiliating…the way his nearness weakened her.

"I…wouldn't turn back for anything now," she said, so he would understand. "It's just all very new."

"The world?" he said.

"I reckon," she sighed. She put her hand on his arm and lifted onto her toes and kissed his cheek. "Goodnight…Edward."

Their faces were close. He was looking at her. "If you did…change your mind…wouldn't be a thing in the world holding you to this. I mean…these tubs go both ways."

He dug in his pocket and here came his bandana. The other was in her room, under her pillow to bring the familiar. He had an endless supply and he wiped her cheeks and he whispered, "Just like cream." He said that most often, her cheeks were made of cream, her lips were roses, her eyes were pecans, then it just went into silliness, but the cheeks were her favorite, that and the lips that pretty much ached to kiss him…differently.

He broke the spell, led her from the railing to the door. He opened this and gently pushed her in.

"Goodnight, Sister," he said, for he had grown uncomfortable, she knew, and when he did he broke it like a stick under his boot.

Inside the room she leaned on the closed door.

"What is it," Alice said walking quickly to Bella. Alice was already in her dressing gown.

Bella tried to laugh, but it was no good. "I got weepy."

Now Alice sniffed some. "Me too," she said. "Vaporous. Was it him?" She was asking if Edward had made Bella cry.

"No," Bella said. "My woman's time, I think. Alameda. And…Mama."

"Oh." Alice turned away quick. "I want Mama too…not yours, mine." Her tears were picking up now.

Once they got it out some, they started to giggle again. They giggled and cried. "What if we go crazy?" Alice asked, very dramatically. Then they laughed some more, making up scenes of two girls found going crazy on a mail ship set for New Orleans.

After they were in bed, Alice chattered some, about her momma, about those men in the Bowler hats. About Jasper and what a devil he was.

And Bella reached beneath her pillow for that familiar square of cloth. And she thought about Edward's hair in the moonlight, the soft feel. And her tears started all over again.

But the next morning the sad mood had not lingered. Bella and Alice dressed for breakfast and Edward knocked promptly at seven. Once they'd eaten and walked the deck, Bella knew Edward watched them taking in the view, as he stood beside the captain high up on the ship's bridge. She glanced over her shoulder long enough that she saw him. He was looking right back at her.

She adjusted her shawl and leaned to whisper to Alice. Alice looked quickly up at Edward, too. Then Bella and Alice giggled and she knew Edward would wonder what she'd said. What she said was, "Only a matter of time before he's steering."

Well, Alice knew how Edward had to be in charge and she laughed into her lacy shawl, her eyes so bright. Bella took one more quick look at Edward and she could see his interest. She did love his attention, and the tears were there again.

Alice rubbed her stomach. "Oh, I've eaten myself sick." The food on this ship was just glorious, fancy and well cooked. Edward didn't eat sweets as a rule, but he did on this ship and Bella couldn't wait to tell Mama. And he sent his beefsteak back at breakfast, all grumpy, had it burned before he'd touch it. Then he'd grumbled how she and Alice should have done the same. He'd started to pick up Bella's plate, in fact, thinking to send it off, and Bella grabbed it back and folks looked and she probably shamed him some for he got quiet then.

Bella felt a little sick, too. She got this way around her woman's time. She looked back at Edward again. This time he unfolded his arms.

"Morning ladies," a smooth voice said pretty close to her ear.

Bella turned her attention from Edward to the handsome well-dressed man who had doffed his fancy hat the night before, the one she'd told Edward about. Now he leaned on the rail beside her. She could feel the flush overtake her cheeks. He was so handsome. Well his clothes alone...not that she hadn't seen others so fine when they'd boarded, but he was gussied up, as Mama would say. And the other one was next to Alice. He was also dandy fine. Alice was already patting her French roll that showed nicely beneath her hat.

Bella was counting off in her head before Edward would show, all winded and looking about as friendly as a turkey in mating time.

"How are two lovely ladies such as yourselves all alone out here on this glorious morning?" the one nearest Bella said. He had a pretty voice and the strangest way of pronouncing his words—not foreign—but not southern. This was a Yankee.

Alice Sue looked at Bella like she was about to die from wonder. She smiled so bright she rivaled the sun. "Oh go on," Alice giggled.

"I said to my man Sam maybe they're bringing up some new stars to dazzle folks on the showboats up St. Louis way."

"Reckon we wouldn't know," Alice said all breathy.

"What about you Miss? Where you from?" he asked Bella.

Bella's hand was at her throat. She hoped her voice didn't squeak like Alice's had. "I'm from...from..."

"Don't remember you being introduced." Edward cut in, right between Bella and their new friend. He was breathy too, just like Bella expected. But came to handsome, well this gentleman was fine, but glory had just arrived and...everything else paled. He wore his six guns right out, and the white shirt she'd washed and ironed was fitting fine, adding to that authority he somehow carried even here. She'd always thought it was Texas backing him, but no, it was all him. He wore a black vest, black hat and she about liked those the best, and it was chilly but he only wore a coat when it was bitter. He seemed to run hot. Hot as Texas.

"Name's James Tonico."

"Tonico?" Edward repeated like this was some bad tasting word.

"That's right. From New York City."

James Tonico had his hand out, his soft clean hand. Edward hesitated but he took that hand and pulled James a little closer. "These here are my sisters. Enough said?"

Bella wanted to kick Edward as he rudely shoved James an arm's length back, pumping his hand a couple of times before letting go.

James blew a big breath as he rubbed that sore hand with the other. "You need to calm some," he said to Edward.

"Anytime...gambler," Edward said in that tone she knew he used on most menfolk. He had his vest pushed back, his hands on his hips near his guns.

James doffed his hat around Edward's stance. "Ladies."

He turned and went off, the other following then. Edward watched for a few seconds.

Bella looked at Alice Sue. Alice had her hand over her mouth and Bella shook her head.

"Now you see there," Edward told them stern. "That was a good lesson. Bella Marie, he's no different from one back home…bandits and rustlers…you know better. They come in different clothing here, sheep's clothing is all. They are still wolves. Understand?"

Alice saluted and looked at Bella expecting her to giggle again. But she wasn't even able to smile.

"Yes, Edward," she said.

He still had his hands on his hips. His face fell some. He probably thought she was still having fun on him.

"I…don't mean to be stern…but ones like that…they ain't introduced they got no call. Anyone can see you're nice girls…decent. Y'all got to get an instinct about men like that. Men as a rule. All men. Just don't talk to any of them if you can help it."

Bella stared at Edward, and Alice broke out giggling first. Then Bella joined in and Edward ended up having to grin. "I mean it girls," he said, but they'd gotten away from him and he surely knew.

"We understand," Bella said. "We do. But…we are going to speak to men sometimes, Edward. We…we are certainly hoping to meet some nice…men…while we get educated."

He was blinking, albeit he stayed still as a statue.

"Well I know that," he finally said.

"Good," Bella said, almost sorry for him. He did know that…right?

Even Alice couldn't smile. For they were teaching Edward now. That was the plan all along.

They were on that ship for a little more than two weeks. Then they hit New Orleans and that place was a marvel of wonder and sin. Mostly sin. And they sure were glad to be there.


	11. Chapter 11

Love Like a Hurricane 11

It was beautiful and wonderful to see a city such as New Orleans. Some of those homes, it's like the riverboats went ashore and took root and bloomed into something so grand, and all for just one family.

"Texas don't have a rooster in this fight," Alice said.

"What fight is that," Edward asked her as they beheld the vista that was New Orleans from the deck of the mail ship.

"Civilization," Alice said low, her eyes never leaving the passing scenery.

Edward laughed, and Bella did too.

Once they disembarked the ship Alice was so busy gawking Edward told Bella to take her hand. Bella ignored this. She was weighted down with baggage. They all were. "Alice Sue keep up," she snapped to her ogling friend.

No sooner had Bella said that than someone was relieving her of part of her burden. James Tonico's friend Sam was helping Alice. Edward was still walking ahead, in the middle of lecturing them on the dangers of getting separated in a melee like this one. She didn't know what to do. "Edward," she called, but he didn't hear his ears were so full of the chaos of this wharf and his own voice.

"Edward Cullen," she yelled like she was calling him to dinner.

He looked back then, alarm on his face. Were his hands and arms not so loaded he probably would have drawn his gun.

"Oh no you don't," he said dropping their bags and marching back to where Alice stood, wrestling those bags from James and then Sam.

A boy came by with an empty hand cart. "Here you go Bobby," James said to the boy working the cart. James dug in his vest pocket and tossed that boy a coin. He grinned at Edward, who stood there burdened like a good mule, and he walked energetically to the pile Edward had abandoned and started to heft their baggage to the cart. The boy helped.

"Now hold on," Edward said, but he didn't have much pep in his protest. "I'll get this." Edward dug some coins from his pocket. He repaid Bobby who eagerly snatched that money from Edward's hand.

"Looks like you got double," James said happy. "Welcome to New Orleans Texas," James said now, clapping Edward on his shoulder.

Edward didn't look in a mood for petting. He waited until James and Sam lifted those derbies. "How'd you and your sisters like to join us for dinner tonight?" James asked Edward.

"I…we wouldn't," Edward said. "We just spent two weeks ignoring you during our three squares on that ship. Being on land ain't changed things."

James laughed. "Well you're right out with it, aren't you Texas?" James eyes stayed mostly on Bella. She didn't know what to do with so much attention.

"Reckon so…Gambler." Edward herded the girls toward the cart and told the boy to follow him. He made sure each of the girls were tucked against him pretty tight. "Now you hang on," he scolded Alice in particular.

Alice seemed barely able to pay attention. She was looking at Sam.

As Edward led them away, she kept looking, craning her neck, but Edward dragged her forward. "Guess you left your common sense in Texas," he upbraided that girl. "Both of y'all. I don't know what to think seein' as you got no sense in this world, neither one of y'all."

Alice leaned around Edward so she could see Bella, "I'm gonna get my fortune read."

Edward stopped short. "You listen to me Alice Sue, I will send you home, girl, don't think I won't."

"What did I do?" Alice asked standing tall.

"You are a good Christian girl and you'll not entertain an idea of visiting some witch doctor. Now get it out of your head, girl. We are resting over and getting on that boat for St. Louie."

He pretty much dragged them along after that. Bella was enjoying this so much, not only the colors of New Orleans, the sights and sounds like she'd never beheld in her life, but the nearness of Edward. She was now free to hang on him all she wanted, both her arms around him while they walked along. She was right up next to him and squeezing pretty much.

"Why can't you be a good girl like Bella Marie?" Edward was saying all flip-floppy, sounding just like Jenks might, only he'd never hold Bella up so high since she jilted Paul, and two minutes ago Edward was yelling at her right along with Alice but since she was squeezing he seemed to think better of her. And did his heart hammer. She had her ear pressed against him just listening.

"Don't be scared, honey. We're almost there," he said all sweet to her. She was grinning, but he couldn't see it with her hugging him like this.

"You're not my pa," Alice told Edward low-voiced, barely hearable in this noise, these voices calling out one thing or another, like they were all needing something from someone. But Alice had sounded pretty mad, like she'd thought about Edward being bossy and she wasn't liking it.

Bella still smiled though. Edward was impossibly strong and she never did want to let go.

"Here we are girls. Now Alice Sue let's not get in a disagreement. I'll get you girls a room and you can rest and get all pretty and we'll get us a good meal and pretty soon we'll be boarding that big boat for St. Louie. Won't that be just fine girls?"

Bella squeezed tighter as Edward led them in to the lobby. Alice grumbled, "You can let off my arm now Papa."

He must have let Alice go cause he was using two hands to try and pry Bella off. "Bella honey you've got to let me go now. There's nothing to be scared of darlin'." Then to someone else he said, "She's frightened. Country girls. They never seen anything like this. She misses her horse and her Mama," he went on sing-songy, telling her business to the whole world it seemed.

Bella did let him go, and she backed off too. Alice was smirking at her, but she didn't care. She righted her hat and looked hotly at Edward, and less hotly at the man behind the desk of this hotel. He was giving her a look of pity, and she felt pretty shamed the way Edward had spoken and all, but she was dizzy some too, and her arms burned to go back around Edward even though he'd had to been listening at her door that night on the ship when she'd told Alice she missed Alameda.

"Well she ain't so scared now," Alice said all smiles.

Bella folded her sad arms and turned away.

"Bella honey, I asked if you girls wanted to eat in your room, or if you wanted to go to dinner. I think you should stay in and rest," Edward said, this new conciliatory tone still going.

"We're not staying in that room all evening. We just got here," Alice said. Well she was getting frisky as all hell.

"We'll stay in," Bella said same time. She had no wish to be hostage at another table where Edward found some old man the most fascinating.

"We are not staying in," Alice said, and she stomped her foot this time.

"Don't you stomp your foot at me," Bella said through her teeth. She realized she was about sick of Alice Sue. She'd never had to spend so much time with one human being before, even Mama. At home she'd been able to get on Alameda at least, but now they were to be shut together once again and this one was as nervous as Jasper might be at a Kiowa rendezvous. And she was plumb sick of it. Sick of Edward too, come to think. Sick of them both.

"I want my own room," she demanded.

"Sorry Ma'am, we're full up," the proprietor said.

"Bella honey it's only for a few hours." There was that tone again. That tone for sad little sister.

"No it's not," she said petulant. "I have to share a room with her on the boat, then I have to share a room with her at school. You remember that horse we had name of Rolly cause he rolled all the time? Remember how you couldn't dare go in his stall cause he'd as soon kick you senseless he got the chance."

"Don't you say it," Alice said while Bella said, "Well she is Rolly."

Alice grabbed the silver bell off the desk and threw it at Bella. If she wouldn't have ducked quick it would have hit her between the eyes.

"You crazy heifer!" Bella yelled, and everyone in the lobby who had missed the bell throwing turned now for the screaming. Edward was between them, trying to restrain one then the other as they tried to reach around him and claw.

"Crazy heifer! You're in love with your own brother!"

The lobby went silent.

Alice had stilled, her hands over her mouth.

Bella straightened and pulled her jacket tight. She pulled on her sleeves and straightened her hat. "Maybe we will go to dinner…Edward."

She kept her eyes on him. He looked incredulous, pretty much. Oh certainly he'd seen worse on the trail. He had at home. She knew that for a fact.

"Sir, I run a clean, Christian establishment," the proprietor was saying.

"Edward snatched the key from his hand. "Hush your mouth."

The man swallowed.

Edward glared first at Alice Sue, then at Bella. "These two fine Texas ladies know how to behave. "

Without another word they followed Edward outside and took their small bags off the cart. Without a word Edward led them back inside and upstairs to their room. He opened the door and waited silently as Alice Sue scurried past. Bella stopped and held out her hand and he dropped the key.

"I'm having supper sent up. You girls get some rest after you eat. I'll come for you around eight. Be packed and ready to board the ship," he said, no further ado.

He shut the door then. Bella listened and there was a few seconds before she heard him walk away and descend the stairs. He was an eavesdropper, just like she thought.

Then she turned to Alice Sue. "Well I never in all my days."

"I know," Alice said, seeming repentant. "It's my mama's blood. It takes over sometimes."

"You said that right out in front of Edward. What if I did that to you? I've done nothing but try to help your cause."

"I know. It's a devil in me…the Carny side. That's Mama. Colleen Carny."

"That don't make it okay."

"What can I do? You compared me to that horse!"

"Ain't the same. What you yelled out…it's personal. I told you that in friendship and you used it to be hurtful."

"You're not mad about the bell?"

"That too, but words are worse."

"I'm…I'm sorry."

"No you're not. You'd do it again. You will."

"I won't. I promise."

"It's too late. He already knows."

"Didn't he know before we left Texas? Isn't that why we are going?"

"I don't know anymore." Bella dropped to the bed and stared at nothing desultorily.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…let me make it up to you."

Bella lifted her heavy head. "How?"

"Let's get our fortune's read."

"No."

"Let's put on our shawls and go out and see New Orleans. We have until eight o'clock, Bella. We're in New Orleans. The menfolk have adventures…that's all they do is sit around campfires and tell all the great things they do. Let's you and me have some, just this once, before we get stuck inside the convent."

"College, Alice. And I'd like to live to reach it."

"We come out of Texas, girl. New Orleans can't be half as dangerous as our own backyards."

"I don't have my gun," Bella said.

"I got a knife. I'm never without it. Come on…let's get our fortunes told."

"That's a sin, Alice. Here we are on our way to the Methodists. If Edward found out…if he found us outside this very room…."

"Well here I always admired you…riding that horse like one of the cowboys…not afraid of nothing. Now I find you're the little goodie girl just like I used to say in my mind. I never believed it. But I do now. You're afraid of Edward Cullen. You want his love so bad you're afraid to do the littlest thing."

"That's not true. I'm on my way to Illinois, ain't I?"

"That's nothing. He's watching over like he created the earth. You're afraid of him."

Bella stood now, glad for those four inches she had on this child-sized maniac. "I'm more afraid of crazy people telling me what to do."

"Oh…so I'm a horse and I'm crazy. You've about toed over my limitations."

"I'm trying not to laugh right now," Bella said. Then quick as lightening she reached out and grabbed Alice Sue's arm, flipped her around and pushed that arm up her back. Alice cried out and Bella let go immediately. "Oh my lands I'm sorry," she said.

Alice spun around, fire in her eyes. Bella burst out laughing. She pointed at Alice. "You should see your face."

Alice charged Bella and knocked her flat on her back on the bed. She was straddling Bella, her hands dug in that one's hair and Bella had not even had a chance to remove her hat.

"I can't stand you," Alice said through her teeth.

"Get off me you crazy cowpie-faced coyote," Bella said back, also through her teeth.

They had one another by the hair now, and Bella screamed and Alice did too. They rolled off on to the floor, but neither would let go. Bella's scalp throbbed and tears rolled down her face, but she wouldn't let go until the heavy knock on the door and the proprietor calling out to open the door.

They scrurried apart and onto their feet then. Both had their hair pulled apart, pins everywhere, tresses dragging down their backs, hats barely held on, and knocked like they'd run a gauntlet.

Bella pulled open the door. "What is it?" She tried to sound innocent.

"Get your bags and get out," the man said.

"But…." Bella sputtered.

"Or I shall bring in the sheriff." The man was red in the face.

"Very well," she said. She looked at Alice and they tried to think, moving around the room grabbing at anything, until their arms were full. They followed the man down the stairs. He did not offer to carry. He led them all the way to the door, which he held open now as they exited.

They stood on the sidewalk, their bags barely able to close they'd been so rushed. They stepped between the hotel and the building beside and put on their shawls and tried to repair their hair, helping one another now, Bella righting Alice, Alice smoothing over Bella.

Then they hugged. "I don't know what I'm doing," Alice said.

"Me neither," Bella said.

Then they parted and Alice's small face glowed with the recent pain of having her hair pulled at the roots, and with hope and tears. "Now let's get our fortunes read and see some of this city."

"Well…I reckon we might," Bella said.

"He doesn't ever have to know…Edward. We'll just meet him out front here like we never been another place."

"It might work…if we live."

"Of course we'll live," Alice scoffed. "But first, that proprietor owes us some money."

Before Bella could think Alice disappeared around the building. Bella stood with the bags and in no time Alice was back with the price of the room, extra hot water and towels, and the meal they'd never had.

"We're rich," she said, and they laughed. "Hey Bella," she said, "I never told you, but Paul told me once…Edward brags about the kind of woman he likes…well when they camp out and they talk around the fire."

Bella took in a breath. "So?"

"Well…he says he likes a dark woman with long brown hair and brown eyes. He likes her small…smaller than him…and he likes her breasts to be about a handful and some, and her bottom to be like a bustle, after she takes off the bustle."

Bella's mouth was wide open. "You're lying."

"I'm not. Paul says…well he says Jasper and Edward are lascivious."

Bella was horrified. And so interested.

"Say it again."

"All of it?"

"Yes."

"He said he likes a dark woman…with long brown hair and brown eyes. He likes her small-like…smaller than him. He likes her breasts to be about a handful and some. Her bottom like a bustle…."

"Stop. I can't bear it. He did not say this."

"He did. Paul said he did."

"A bustle? That's not possible."

"Well…he said it. Paul said he talks like a sinner when the womenfolk can't hear. Unless they work in a cantina. Then he says all kinds of things he shouldn't. Paul says he's got the worst mouth…."

"Stop. I don't want to hear anymore." Bella frantically grabbed up all of her belongings and took off walking she knew not where.

"Wait a minute," Alice yelled coming after her.

Bella stopped suddenly and turned to Alice. "You cannot tell me his mouth is worse than Jasper Cullen's. Now for a fact I know that isn't so Miss High and Mighty."

"I didn't say it was…Paul said though."

"Well Paul…that's another story, that one, looking in my window at twelve years old. He ever tell you that? I caught him and beat him myself. Didn't go running to my brothers that time. He tell you that?"

"My brother? I don't think he would do that," she said.

"You see? Your brother is a big liar. Biggest liar in a big state." Bella had no idea if she'd made her point or not, but she knew she was right.

Alice hurried after Bella. "There it is."

"There what is?"

"The Turkey Nest. Biggest saloon in New Orleans."

Bella looked ahead. It was not so fine as a church. Just big and busy. Men pushing through the swinging doors to get out, men waiting to go inside. She could hear the rinky tink piano from here.

"Turn your eyes away," Bella said marching onward.

"Why would I? I am dying to see inside that place where womenfolk like us aren't welcomed. Don't you want to?"

Bella scoffed. "Of course I don't."

Alice overtook her, and she could barely keep up. Alice went so fast she squeezed right into the crowd of men before the door and went on inside. Bella couldn't believe her eyes. "Alice Sue," she whispered hotly.

Unable to follow Alice right into the figurative flames she went to a window and rudely pushed two derbied gawkers aside. There through the dirty glass she saw Alice, standing with her bags right in front of the bar, men of all sizes and ilks milling around her, some giving her curious looks, but no one yet approaching. And Alice kept turning in circles, holding her carpetbag to her breasts. She looked like she'd entered heaven and not a den of Louisiana iniquity.

Bella rapped on the window, and gained the attention of a nearby patron. She gestured toward Alice and the man soon understood he must do something to pull the girl from her perilous position. It was about that time she spotted a black hat, wider brimmed than any other. He stood at the bar, a woman on each side. What in tarnation?

She was of two horrific minds. One, he must not see Alice. Two she must go in there and raise hell and judgment.

The stranger tapped her shoulder. He had Alice Sue in tow. "It's pretty wonderful," Alice said.

Bella stiffly thanked Alice's knight in some kind of strange get-up.

She then pulled Alice along. "What…where's the stampede?" Alice said.

"Edward is in there," Bella hissed. "He's wearing two women like he wears those big guns."

"Oh…oh my I'm sorry Bella. I told you he was wild and whorish," she said.

"Oh. Where is that fortune teller?" Bella said, fighting tears of rage.

"You mean it?" Alice squealed.

Bella pushed her forward, but they had to change directions completely.

The fortune teller lived in a small shack near where they'd exited their ship earlier. That's how Alice had espied the sign out front reading, "Fortunes."

Bella couldn't shake the feeling she was bringing a curse on herself. She fully expected the Lord to abandon her now. But she had to know. She had to. Would she marry Edward? Was it even possible to want such with a man who saw a woman as something to consume on his lust and nothing more?

He was a whore amongst men. That's pretty much what Alice said.

So she stood beside Alice as that one knocked on the shanty's door and she hissed at Alice, "Have that knife in your hand."

But before Alice could dig through her petticoats and find her garter, the door opened and an ancient old Negro woman stood there.

"Hello," Alice said all cheery. "We're here to have our fortunes read. We have six dollars and fifty cents."

Well, there went any hope of dinner, Bella reckoned.


	12. Chapter 12

Love Like a Hurricane 12

The house was dark inside, one room, and one mysterious curtained off room in the back. There were two cats, at least two that Bella could see, and they rubbed on her feet and she yelped. She also sneezed, three times, she didn't know why.

But the lady, Madame Toussaint, touched Alice's face, then took her hand. They were seated at a table covered with colorful scarves. Least ways they had been colorful once, but most things looked faded by cat hair and time.

Alice's backside shifted on that rickety chair, and she squealed same time. But she didn't pull her hand away from the fortune teller's grasp. "Go on," she said having given all their money.

"Life long, singing songs, faces and smoke and candles bright," the old woman intoned in a wrinkled voice with some silk running through it. "Touching the stream, breath and a dream…and a red petticoat." Then the old woman leaned forward, hands taken from Alice and splayed on the table. Alice had gasped, her own hands over her heart, her lips whispering, "Red petticoat…glory to God."

Then the old woman started up again, only louder, "Cheeks like cream, lips a rose, eyes pecans…he pines…he pines."

Madame Toussaint fell back in her chair seeming all done in.

"That's it?" Alice Sue all but yelled. "Oh but…who pines? Who pines?"

"Edward," Bella whispered. "That last was for me."

The old woman looked at her. "Four more dollar," she said.

"Four more dollar?" Alice repeated. "I told you that was all of our money."

"No more…no more today. You come again. Four more dollar."

"But…what about me? Who pines for me?" Alice nearly yelled.

"Red petticoat. You go now. I rest."

"It is Edward? Those are his words," Bella said her heart stabbed through to think of the two-timer probably lying abed about now, those women on either side, those kind he liked.

The old woman only stared.

"Where will she ever get such a thing as a red petticoat?" Bella argued. She didn't see how a red petticoat had anything to do with Alice's future and this old woman shouldn't be putting notions in such a maze-filled head as Alice Sue's.

"Black lace," the old lips proclaimed.

"A mantilla?" Alice said eager.

The old woman peered into Alice's face. "You have sight."

"I do? Oh, I do," she said. She started to tell a story to prove her point but the old one cut her right off.

"Yes, a mantilla. And one who plays. Long fingers, strong hands…no songs in him now…but then…perhaps."

"Is he a Methodist?" Alice whispered.

The old one chuckled and Alice's brows lifted. "Cowboy?"

"He pines," she said.

"For me?"

"He pines…for you…." Then she turned to Bella and peered in her face…"and you…is it you he pines for? No…another…another who resists. You are twisted. You are all twisted…frayed and entwined…old as time…but nearly missed…a chance will come…but a chance missed can change everything."

"Who…me?" Alice squeaked.

"I cannot tell…you…her…both. I cannot say."

"For more? For my pendant? It's silver, I think," Alice said.

Bella was not willing to part with her jewelry. Not yet. And she slapped at Alice's willing hands as they fumbled to undo her broach.

"No more today. Come again. Four dollar and some tobacco. Come once more."

"We can't," Alice said. "We're gone after today."

"It's gone now. It's quiet," the old one said. "You must go. You are nearly discovered."

Bella and Alice looked sharply at one another. They were up at once, scurrying about to collect their things and race to the hotel.

Edward had viewed the attention of women as a great gift. He wasn't sure why they took to him no matter his mood. But he'd always liked that they did. But now, here in New Orleans, he wanted to be left alone.

Had he gotten old of a sudden? These two meant no harm, one on each side, these two doves. But he'd just had Bella and Alice in those same places and didn't seem right…and he looked at the blond one on his left, so young, and he looked at the dark one on his right, so old, and no it wasn't right.

So he pushed some nickels one way then the other. "Here you are ladies. I just need to be left to my beer and my thoughts."

"Okay if we stand here and pretend for a spell?" the old one said. "A girl gets tired sometimes."

"Sure. Barkeep," he called, "get these ladies each a beer."

Well he could not believe Bella Marie and Alice Sue weren't better behaved. They'd done fine on the ship…he'd been right proud…but since they'd landed in New Orleans it's like they'd gone back to wild.

They'd looked downright civilized back home. But what was home really but the wildest, roughest place a body could exist in.

The young one leaned forward to speak around Edward to the old one. "I done been upstairs five times already this morning," she said.

"Five times? Honey I been six and I seen twice the years you have."

"Well you ain't got the itch at least."

"I've had it."

"He don't have the doc over to see to us tonight I'm gonna tell Mr. Tonico myself."

"Tonico?" Edward repeated.

"Our boss Mr. Tonico," the dove repeated.

That dowager. He had him pegged alright. That low down…he'd had his eyes on Bella and Alice all the way here. Good thing they were safely tucked away out of harm's…wait a minute. Didn't that Tonico hire that Bobby…that Bobby would tell him where those girls were staying.

"Well that last one just wanted me to wear my bloomers and sing Old Kentucky Home," the young one was saying right across his beer.

"That's the best kind of work a girl can get," old one replied.

Edward gulped his beer and slammed his glass back on the bar. He tossed a dollar there and told those two to drink on up. They thanked him kindly.

Then he heard it, two men walking past. One said to the other, "See that girl standing before the bar a while ago? Came right in carrying her bag, right off the boat looked like. I'd a liked a poke at one so fresh."

A chill went through Edward, right through to his bones and he looked around quick. Surely…not. No, he saw nothing, and he didn't expect to. Those girls had locked that door, he'd waited and heard Bella turn the key. They were wore out too, and he'd left them safe. Bella Marie was a good girl, even if Alice Sue was bang-tail, that sister of his…. Then he mocked himself…"Sister," his mockery went. She'd put her arms around him and he almost had a fainting spell. Things had gone dark for a second, a minute felt like, his knees got weak.

Well it just meant he was dedicated is all. He knew she was stuck on him. He was taking care, doing it right, but she got frightened and he'd taken good and dutiful care of her is all.

But the way she changed in a flash, and the two of them like that, one thing then another, happy, sad, sweet, venom, laughing, crying, whispering then shouting. It was more than one man could handle. He needed the remuda and hands and weapons to get these girls to that school. He was going to kiss the ground when he got there, he was. It didn't matter anymore if he was sad inside, she needed to go, far, far from him. The good book said to marry off your virgin if you couldn't control yourself and that always hit him strange, but now he understood…crystal clear. Bella Marie needed to go. He would show no more weakness, no more until she was safely delivered and he was by his lonesome. Then he could shoot something, howl at the moon, but from here on out forward march.

Fortified with fear and resolve, he headed back to the hotel to check on the girls. That niggling in him from the thought of James Tonico accosting his girls topped off with what that man had said, girl coming in here with a carpet-bag, well it undid him. For peace of mind he'd check on the girls then snooze in the lobby until it was time to board that boat.

"…that's why we got to make sure we don't get stuck in Illinois and they forget us and marry other girls. That's all I'm saying," Alice argued as they raced to the hotel. "A red petticoat has to mean something and I don't think it's to be found at that Methodist school."

"Slow down, Alice. My feet are killing me," Bella grumped. Then she said for the hundredth time, "He pines. He don't pine. He's never pined for nothing. Right now…he's not pining the vile, violating, vicious heart-stomping…Edward?" She ran smack in to him.

"Bella Marie?" It's like he saw her…but he couldn't recognize her.

"Of course it's me," she said. Was he drunk?

"What…." His hands gripped her shoulders.

She took advantage to rudely shove her burdens into his open arms. She breathed a sigh not to have to carry everything. She picked up her skirts and light stepped onto the sidewalk now. They had been in the street to make better time.

"We…we were just looking for y'all," Alice said to Edward. "We're awful sorry about before…and we want to eat our dinner with you. That hotel…we didn't like it at all. We…saw a mouse…a rat I mean. It was the biggest rat I ever seen. We couldn't stay. But we got your money. But we lost it."

"Slow down," Edward said. "You left the hotel? I told you not to leave the hotel."

The girls looked at one another, but neither spoke. Bella had to admit that was a right good story and she couldn't add a thing. But then she could. "Well you just went off. We were looking all over and you were no where to be found. There's that big saloon with those gaudy sinful women, but I told Alice Sue you would never go in such a place, you weren't low-down like that at all, and you knew Mama wouldn't like it at all and she'd be so ashamed of you. I told Alice you would never let those kind of women touch you at all with their big handfuls of bosoms and bustley bottoms and all. I told her you weren't an animal…not my big handsome brother who told everyone what to do all the time, listing their sins right off if they so much as…as turned one way or another." She knew she was shouting now. "I said…I'd kill myself right off…throw myself off that ship if I thought for one minute Edward Cullen could stoop so low…."

"Bella," Edward commanded, his arms loaded with her things, "calm yourself."

Well passers-by were staring some, cutting them a berth.

Alice stood there wide-eyed.

"I am the man of this family," he said, "and you will do what I tell you." He looked at Alice too, "And that includes both of y'all. Now I don't want no more lip. I hear another word out of either of you I'll take you behind these buildings and turn you over my knee. And I will do it!"

Folks had gathered to watch. Two men were clapping.

Bella had her hands on her hips now. Oh she hated him. She stepped right up to him. "You will not lay a hand on either of us you…whore-monger."

"What did you call me?"

"Whore-monger," she repeated.

He dropped her things right there and took her by the arm and pulled her into the gangway right there. Folks stepped forward to watch.

"Get on outta here," Edward yelled waving his arm. Some left, but some didn't, and more came.

"I ought to do it right here before God and this crowd of gawkers," he threatened.

"I don't love you no more," she said.

"What?" His hold loosened right up.

"You heard me. I used to love you…all the time. But I don't no more."

"I'm your family."

"I don't care. You act like a fool and I don't love you. So go on to your whores. You're a vile beast."

The crowd said, "Oooh."

Edward looked at them. Alice was in front, pretty much carrying everything. He let go of Bella and stalked to Alice, relieving her of part of her burden. "Come on," he said to Bella over his shoulder.

The three of them made their way through the dispersing crowd and walked for what seemed like forever. No one spoke. They ignored the sights and dazzle of New Orleans. Well Alice did not completely ignore, and Bella had to yank on her arm more than once, but even Alice was not herself.

Finally Edward stopped before the yawning gangplank of a big riverboat. "This is our passage," he said curtly. He stepped aside to allow the girls to pass. Alice Sue went forward like she was walking on the broad destructive way. Bella saw it different. To her it was the straight and narrow…too narrow. It had no sides, no rails she could cling to. It looked like she would fall off. But she'd be darned if she'd ask Edward for help. So she squared her shoulders and went forward. But a few steps on and her stomach lurched and she swayed, and felt stuck.

"Move," Edward said from behind.

"I can't," she said through her teeth.

"Why not?" he said through his.

She turned some and swayed like she was trying to find purchase on a tightrope. His arms were loaded, but he found a way to steady her with his hand. "What is the matter with you?"

"I don't like this. I can't move. I'll fall in the water."

"You will not fall. This plank is plenty wide, wider than you. Now walk."

She turned forward and took a few shuffling steps, holding her arms out. But she soon got stuck again. "Oh I don't like this," she said.

"Lord, God give me strength," Edward said from behind. "I didn't have this much trouble moving a thousand cattle up the Chisholm. I swear to God above I did not."

"I can't help it!" she yelled, and even that made her sway.

"Back to the shore. Come on, step back. I got you." So together they slowly stepped backwards, his hand holding her arm in spite of his load, until their feet were on dry land. "Now I'll go first and you grab on to me from behind and we'll walk it. Okay?"

How many times had it been like this, him helping her, telling her she could do something. She'd lied. She loved him, she couldn't help it. But…why'd he have to go to those women? He'd rather bed a whore than admit he loved her. He pined. He did.

She nodded and he walked slow and she gripped his sides, under his vest, she dug in. He went forward then, and she went too. She tried not to look, keeping her forehead pressed against his back. "I wish you loved me," she whispered.

"What's that?" he said.

"I wished you loved me," she said louder.

"Not now," he snapped. "Anyway…I do love you."

Yes he loved her. But not that kind of love. The other kind.

"I saw you," she said.

"What?" he asked, stopping now, and her so scared of this height over the water.

"I said I saw you," she yelled.

"Saw me what?"

"Saw you sitting at that bar with those women!" she yelled, then she got so scared she gripped him around the waist.

"Bella…don't pull on me so much," he said, worried now by the sound of it.

"Don't fall," she said panicked.

"Let off some," he yelled.

"I can't," she cried.

"Bella, I can't…," and she felt him stumble to find his footing on the slick, pitched plank. And that's when they went over, through the air just toppling sideways, her possessions peppering the water until they slapped the river themselves and she dropped like a rock from the sky and soon hit the bottom and he slammed on top of her, then his hands were on her and they were moving up and they broke the surface and his hair was plastered and she was gasping, trying to breathe and somewhere from heaven Alice Sue was screaming her name.


	13. Chapter 13

Love Like a Hurricane 13

Edward had a mind to put her over his shoulder and carry her onto that riverboat. She was battered from the fall. He felt her over, frantic she'd broken something or gotten hurt inside where it wouldn't be visible but might kill her later. Well his mind and hands went into stampede, just running wild. The alarm in him…he was more than ready to pack them all home. Hell he might now.

"Edward, Edward, stop," she said, her voice so weary.

It was like that day in the river again, Alameda nearly drowning, both of them in trouble and here he came swimming with her to the bank and he was hugging her and going on, just like that day, "I thought I lost you," he said over and over almost not able to stop himself. Well they'd lost Pa…and no more. That's what he said as he swam toward her dark head. But she was eight then…and if she went…then or now…the world was no good.

"You didn't lose me," she said strong.

He needed to get ahold of himself. She wasn't fighting him anymore, she was just whipped.

He was smoothing the hair from her face. "I…." He got choked.

"I know," she told him, then her hand touched his cheek. Oh God, how did she know, always know?

Then she slapped him so hard his chin knocked against his shoulder.

"What the…."

"Whore monger," she whispered, her heart about broke sounded like.

Well he stared in some disbelief as he worked his jaw. Damn her.

He grabbed her then and pulled her in front of himself. "You do just like I say or I swear I'll throw you off that plank myself."

She yanked herself free of his grasp. "I ain't afraid no more."

Then she lifted her dripping skirts and started up that ramp, right up the center, fearless.

He had just put a disbelieving foot on that ramp when lo and behold she froze up. He could tell by the set of her shoulders…she was stuck again.

"Edward," she called thready.

"Lord, God," he muttered, taking sure steps to her.

"I ought to…," well he wanted to say, 'I ought to let you be stuck here,' but he could not take the last crumb of her dignity, though she'd taken his, slapping him right out for the world.

But feeling her so bedraggled and small, he commenced to walking her slowly up that plank like they were one accord. He kept his arms around her and his legs moved hers and he knew if something happened to her… he'd still have to live. But how in hell…?

"There ain't nothing went on with those women, you hear?" he said close to her ear. "Not that any decent girl been raised so careful by her mama would be anywhere around such a place, particular when she was told to stay in her room."

Well she didn't have a thing to say.

"I didn't mean about throwing you off. You hurt my jaw is all."

She still didn't say a thing. Not a hint of sorry.

He tightened his hold a little. "You know I care for you. And Mama."

"Yes," she said soft.

"What about all those gifts from Abilene? What about this here trip and fine education?"

She didn't have a thing to say, and he hadn't wanted to throw it up, but she drove a man loco with guilt.

But once they boarded trouble wasn't over. It was apparent from Alice's worried face, this wasn't going to be the sanguine passage he'd had with Captain Aro. He did not care for this arrogant Yankee Captain with his arms folded, not one jot or tittle. He stood in his sopping clothes with his darling dripping Bella in his arms, Alice clinging to them, and a pile of sodden possessions being brought up behind him by a Negro boy and some others took it on themselves to help out to-boot. And this Captain had the hubris to say they would need to wait on the shore until it was time to board. Well he'd nearly popped that vein got big in his forehead when he was murderous.

Bella Marie was not going to sit on the New Orleans shore. And she wouldn't go back to the hotel. She was flat against it. And she was not walking that plank again until they were in St. Louie. So Edward saw no reason they couldn't board early. He was willing to pay, and he checked quick that he still wore his money and he did, and he gave those boys some coins for retrieving the bags and his hat. And he told that captain what he thought, well he started to.

That's when Tonico showed, and that other one Sam. That's when they intervened in their fine suits, from somewhere on this boat. Seemed Tonico's word ran important round here. Well gambler, sure, and owner of that cantina, and maybe he owned this whole damn boat all Edward knew, but he did not own him or Texas.

But just like with that handcart Tonico took over and pretty soon they were allowed to their rooms and Edward, were it just him he'd be gone already, wouldn't be here at all, but Bella Marie was wet and cold and bruised and she needed examined, and a hot bath and this Tonico had his finger on it all, seemed, so shut your yapper and deliver, is what Edward thought.

He carried Bella to her room. He followed in there and Tonico had the hot water coming and food. He'd have her things hung and dried. And Edward was grateful and terse and rude for he did not like this man, did not trust him, but he would take this, for Bella he would.

He set her on her feet in that room, and a Negro woman was there to help, a boy setting the tub, Alice hugging Bella, telling Edward he should go now and change his clothes, but he was staring at Bella, her face white and pinched.

He said to Alice, "She might be bruised. See to her."

"Course I will," Alice said, her arm around Bella.

"Speak your piece," he said to Bella for her look was fixed on him and she was troubled. He knew she was weighted from that slap she gave him, and he already felt the relief of her regret.

"I shall not come to dinner," she said. "I've no wish to see you for a time. I need to recover."

"Recover from the fall?"

Her eyes now…so dark and sweet…and accusing. "From you."

He looked around for who was hearing, Alice for sure and these folks working. "Bella Marie, you had a bad fall in that river. You let Alice see if you're hurt. They'll send for a doctor need be. You get fixed up now. I will stand down if you insist on carrying on. But I will knock on your door any time I feel concern to make sure you are all right. You have not proved I can trust you, girl and I got scant time for these games. Now you stay in, Alice Sue stays, too." He'd leave them to fight it out. Alice Sue would not be able to stay penned for long, and Bella Marie would not be able to be caged with her.

So frustrated and wet he got the hell out of there.

A fella led him to his room and their larger bags had been delivered by that Bobby with the cart earlier, and he saw it was nice and fine and that bed looked perfect, like a cloud and this heaven. He laid his hat and his guns on the table there, undid the leather belt and strung that over a chair. Then he sat and pulled off his boots and socks, leaving a puddle on the floor. His britches were soon over a chair and his vest, shirt and finally his longjohns. He sat in his skin and cleaned his guns and all the while he argued with her.

He did not owe her an accounting of his personal doings. She was an innocent girl didn't know how dangerous the world was, didn't listen. She certainly couldn't guess about a man's needs. He had done nothing, and he owed her no repentance anyway. He took a good drink from the whiskey setting in a fancy glass bottle, and it warmed him fine right down to his toes. Then he took another drink and nearly cried it was so inspiring.

Damn it a man should not be questioned like this. He hoped once they got to that school they'd teach her…both of them girls their place in this world. He hoped someday to see she realized how tolerant he'd been. Maybe then, just maybe, she'd feel some debt to show respect.

Then he reckoned he'd lie on that fine fluffy bed for just a few minutes and he'd have some kind of clothing that had dried mostly and he would check on Bella Marie, make sure she was sound and hope to God she'd moved off that notion she didn't love him or he didn't love her.

He raised his head for a few more sips of that good whiskey. It was Alice…that wild Cope girl a bad influence on his…treasure, had to be for Bella had been such a good girl back home.

So his mind was full as he drifted off…oh Bella Marie…so small in his arms…oh Bella.

When he awoke, where in hell was he? He was on a cot…he was in a room…it was moving.

This tub moved. This was a boat. He was on a boat.

Oh…he was sick. He was so sick. He was burning. He was so sick. He felt everything leave, he had no control, both ends he was losing everything, so sick, he could die.

He groaned. Someone rolled him, he wasn't alone. Bella…where was Bella?

He tried to sit up and they pushed him down but he was so sick.

And his head…splitting. He could die. He wanted to. No, Bella, Alice Sue. Jasper had to help him. But…were they on the Chisholm?

He didn't know. This boat was moving. He lifted his hand and it was so heavy, shaking, he was shaking…he moved his hand over him, the slick, he was naked, he was shaking so badly…Bella. Where was Bella?

He tried to find whomever it was taking care of him. He could see him in the dark just a candle in the corner. A Negro boy, dark skin, grave face moving a rag in a pan of water. "Am I dying?" he croaked cause his mouth was so dry, so dry.

He remembered now the vomiting…seemed like hours of it, heaving over and over. "Dying?" he croaked again. His captor did not answer, but came forward and used that rag to squeeze some water into Edward's mouth. Edward knocked his hand aside. The boy took hold of Edward's hair and squeezed that rag again and he tried to swallow what he could.

"Like that," the boy said. "If you don't drink you will die for sure."

Edward took what he could, then the boy wiped over his face.

"Where am I?" he tried to croak but it would not all come out.

"Pap fished you out of the Mississippi," the boy said.


	14. Chapter 14

Love Like a Hurricane 14

The first two days aboard the boat Alice and Bella were catered to with food and hot water and towels and candies and confections and services of every kind.

James Tonico did not make a personal appearance, and they half-way thought he might in lieu of so much royal service. But he did send missives several times a day. Odd that he would be the one to let them know Edward was alive and well and seeming to enjoy himself in a never-ending card game taking place in James' private quarters. Well those two had come a long way, apparently unified by a taste for similar vices. "Alice," Bella said, "I'm beginning to have a new understanding of Eve and that apple. I always wondered why Adam didn't opine when he saw her take it. Could it be men sometimes say nothing cause they ain't got a thing to say?"

"Of course," Alice scoffed.

"You think? Could it be they ain't withholding so much as…it ain't there to begin with?"

"Like what?" Well they were barely talking at the moment. They ran hot then cold on one another, trapped together this way, Alice wanting to live the high life on this boat, Bella wanting to hole up like a gopher.

"I'm saying…surely there's more to them in there," Bella said, touching her temple.

"Oh read your book."

Not the ones Bella brought. They were pretty well ruined. But the ones James had been thoughtful to provide.

"I'm saying…maybe they share a great emptiness that only a woman can fill. Don't Genesis pretty much say that? Adam in his perfect life…pining." There was that word. "Then God puts him to sleep and builds a woman. Wakes up Adam and there she is and he says some pretty words. After that, he just follows her around in a trance sounds like, having only the potential she inspires in him, I reckon."

"I wish some man would follow me," Alice said, braiding some of her vast collection of ribbons.

"Any man?"

Alice looked at her, blushed, then looked away. "I like a bunch of them…I just do."

"That Sam?"

Alice smiled silly, "Maybe."

"I told you, he's a man. You have to be careful of the older ones."

"Like Jasper Cullen?" she said hotly, like she was accusing Bella of something.

"Don't blame it on me. I can't get in his head and mess with his brain."

"If he had a brain," she said. "You know he ain't going to follow me to that school. I'm already out of his mind," She threw the ribbon snake at the wall.

"You have to have some faith," Bella said low. Lot of good it was doing her…faith. Edward seemed just as hopelessly distracted about now. He played his fair share of cards in the bunkhouse, that's all Bella knew. She reckoned he could pass the time that way on this boat, especially since he was so eager to not look upon her face.

Well their maid was only too happy to keep them spellbound with stories of the grand life that went on in the staterooms of James Tonico on this River Belle.

Shady women and whiskey and money and stogies and living high and losing big and fast-talk and big-deals.

Bella was hurt deep that Edward didn't show, but then…she had slapped him…called him whoremonger, told him she wouldn't be coming out of the room for a spell. And it would be just like him to think she needed a lesson. She wouldn't put it past him to try and avoid her until they got to St. Louis.

He had seemed eager to seek his vices soon as he could. Alice Sue didn't seem surprised, but then she'd known all along about Edward's bent toward the darkness. She, Bella, had been the one with rainbows in her eyes came to Edward Cullen. All the years of childish…adoration.

So those first two days went by. And the more morose Bella became the more rejuvenated Alice Sue got. It's like she'd suddenly stolen all of Bella's resolve about the Cullen men.

"Are you giving up?" Alice Sue upbraided her on the third morning. "Cause I do not care what Edward wants, I am not languishing in this room no matter how fine it is. I want to see that singing and dancing up on that stage like Macey told us about."

"Get such notions out of your head, Alice Sue," Bella groaned. She was not going to try and compete for Edward by being as crude and ridiculous as those women he favored.

"You think he's sitting around pining for you? Show him Bella. I thought that's what we set out to do. Get some fire in your backbone, girl. Let's put on our best and go to dinner tonight."

"Not with James Tonico about," Bella said. "This is his little floating kingdom, don't y'all know?"

"Well I say the man with the most pluck wins our company," Alice said, getting that squeaky voice meant she was rising up and would probably keep rising until Bella had to smack her down.

"Man, Alice? And what would you do with a man? Ever think? What would you and me do with men who weren't trying to run from us?"

Alice paced around in her corset and petticoat, her hair still tied in rags. "What comes natural," she said slapping one small hand in to the other.

"And what would that be? Tie them up? Shoot them?"

"No," Alice said hotly. "Course not. I can be a lady. You…I'm not so sure."

"Oh no? Between the two…I'd win that vote."

"Says who? Ain't me went pitching through the air showing my bloomers for the world, and ain't me that slapped the man I claim to love."

"No it surely ain't. Y'all fired a gun over his head as I recall."

"I can't believe you brought that night of…shame before my face when you know…you know…."

"Go on," Bella said rising off the bed, her arms folded.

"You know what happened that night."

"Oh why yes I do. It's all we had to hear about from Mr. Jenks…your mama…your infuriating mama…your brother…on and on and on how Jasper dared put his hand on the sacred bosom of the Madonna herself…."

Alice took a step toward Bella, her finger in the air, "Don't you dare…."

A knock on the door made them still. Alice looked at the door knowing Macey would come on in if they didn't cry out. But it was a man spoke through the wood this time. "Miss Cullen and Miss Cope are you decent?"

Alice's eyes grew huge. Her hands flew to the rags in her hair and she began ripping them from her ringlets. She did this while running in a circle. "We are…we are…oh don't open that door."

"Why I would never do that honey," James Tonico said. "But I would like to ask the two prettiest girls on the Mississip if they'd accompany me and my associate Sam Hybrow to dinner this evening."

Alice stopped, her face alight as she grinned at Bella. "We surely would," she called out as Bella said, "No thank you."

They got stuck then, Alice's face shifting through five or six emotions rapid fire, and Bella's too, though not as many, and Tonico was silent out there, his easy tongue having hit a snag it seemed.

Alice broke through first. "What time?"

"Dinner is at six," Tonico said.

"We shall see you at six then, Sir," Alice called.

Bella marched to her and grabbed her by the arms and shook her. Alice Sue didn't even seem to notice she was flopping back and forth.

"We are going to dinner with those two handsome fellas," she said all gleeful. Then, "Let go of my arms."

Bella was fixing to grab Alice's crazy hair all snarled around her face with the way she'd ripped out those rags. But she stopped herself. "Edward is going to be furious," she yelled instead.

"We don't care about him…remember? He can't even show himself around here. He is your brother so you need to repent of your notions and pay attention to this important Mr. Tonico. Man like him owns half the country looks like."

"That's all you Cope's think about is money," Bella accused.

Alice yanked herself free and planted her fists on her hips and reared back her head, "And who's more money grubbing than the Cullens?"

"Oh you sounded just like your crazy…crazy mama," Bella said. "All's you need is a bottle of that red colored wine."

Bella reared back in time to miss getting clocked by Alice's fist.

"Some lady," Bella scoffed.

Before Alice could charge Bella, Macey rattled the knob and came in. She had a box under one arm and something red over the other. Alice Sue yelled out and hurried to where Macey stood, scaring that woman in the process.

Alice put her hands on that red silk and pulled it free from Macey like it was a gigantic towel and Macey's arm the bar. Alice shook out that ruffly red bell and her mouth fell open with no sound. She held it up for Bella to see like she was holding the cloth that had held the risen Jesus.

Bella could not deny. It was a red petticoat. Saints alive. Whatever it meant…it was coming true.

Then Macey held out the box and Bella stepped forward and took hold.

"Open it," Alice was already commanding, and what did she think, Bella wouldn't?

Bella took it to the bed, set it amongst the nest of sheets and pulled off the top. There, wrapped in black lace, was the prettiest mantilla she had ever seen.

"It's from Mr. James," Macey said. "I can fix your hair."

Alice was squealing as she danced around that room, moving that petticoat like she was already in it.

"It's true, it's true, it's all true," Alice was laughing and dancing.

But all Bella could think…if this was true…and it surely was…then he did pine. And from here on out…she'd give him something to pine about. She would.


	15. Chapter 15

Love Like a Hurricane 15

Alice almost looked like a fine lady, until she tried to walk and got her slipper caught in the hem of that fancy red petticoat that was way too long.

"Pull it up," Bella scolded having watched Alice Sue pitch forward for the third time.

"It's under my bosom already," Alice shot back as she tripped along the deck toward where Macey said they would find the entrance to the great dining hall.

Bella's hand went to the mantilla yet again to check it was still there. It felt secure, too secure, for the hair at her temples was pulled so tightly into this high style, her eyebrows had lifted at the ends like soaring wings. And nestled in this mass of hair and veil, the black comb was planted like a gravestone upon freshly turned soil. But Lord her head was beginning to pound…for many reasons, mostly from the parley she'd had with Macey while she'd been twisting and turning Bella's mountain of hair. Macey said, "Indian hair," as she worked it all kinds of ways. She said that and Alice Sue had stared thoughtfully at Bella until Bella had stuck out her tongue. Those Copes and their notions.

Bella had decided to lay her cards on the table. She'd asked Macey how much Edward was paying her to keep an eye on them.

Macey was uncrackable. Of course Edward would be paying handsome. Anything to keep them under a watchful eye…and away from him. She couldn't blame him came to Alice Sue, she'd like to put her somewhere else too, but he should not feel that way about his own…sister. He used to treasure time spent in her company…and in another week they would reach Almira college and part for good…maybe forever. Maybe he wouldn't come back for her at all, and what could she do?

Set off for home herself is what. But…she was betting on his love. She was betting on it. He couldn't live without her. She couldn't believe anything else. Just wait until he went home and she wasn't there. Just wait. Wasn't the same as when he went off, knowing she'd be stuck on the ranch. She wasn't stuck now. Well…not so much.

But on this boat…he was testing her, making it hard to remember…his undying devotion. She didn't like it. Oh, she didn't like it. He was no more in that card game with James Tonico…but he wanted her to think so. More like holed in his room snoring away happily undisturbed telling himself to bide his time and get her to that school and get on home. That was him. That's how he was. Find that pumpkin shell and stick her in it.

Well she was stomping along that deck, the more she thought on this. And Alice was tripping all the time. It was then they saw the approach of a vision so stately and lovely they moved to the rail and gasped in unison and Bella forgot her headache for a few seconds. The beauty of the approaching woman about blinded them both.

Alice Sue kept whispering, "In all my life…in all my life…."

Now this woman was as tall as Edward. On top of that she had the biggest mass of curly red hair Bella had ever seen in her life.

And lip rouge bright and bold as a Rebel flag, minus the blue cross and all of course. But you saw those lips. And that beauty mark. It was painted right there at the corner of those lips. And rouged cheeks. Dark black coal on the eyes. It was as mesmerizing as a Kiowa in war paint.

And her figure. Well Bella felt her poverty then. This woman's bosom puffed up round, to her chin almost, well almost. She wore her corset on the outside. And it was red. And her skirt was striped. And red slippers peaked out the bottom. And she wore gloves, white lace, but no fingers covering her fingers with the red tips. She had nail paint, yes she did.

Alice Sue was holding her throat and whispering that still, "In all my life…in all my life."

Now this here was a woman. Her and Alice Sue were just imposters. Children in fact. No wonder…no wonder Edward held off. She'd been proud of her small…roundness…but this was so drastically feminine. Well she didn't have a prayer in comparison…and Alice Sue, smaller than her…well they'd been mistaken about themselves. Bella had told Alice Sue they would use their minds…but minds…in the face of these swells of voluptuous mystery…she'd been wrong. She'd been horribly wrong. Men were not so designed to overlook their lack. Men were not so inclined to care for their fine minds…well hers. Alice Sue…. But Edward…and Jasper…had known this kind of flesh and all…and no wonder they looked upon Bella and Alice in such docile confusion.

They could not hope to be more. She could see that now. And she nearly thought of pitching herself over the rail and allowing the river to take her uselessness. But then, she did love life…bleak as it now seemed.

And all of this discovery in such a brief space of time the woman only now drew close, and she seemed as confused by them as they were awestruck by her. Now how could that be?

Well, Alice Sue was gaping, of course. She had no poker-face in this life. Another despairing truth.

"Where did you get that comb?" the woman said to Bella.

Bella looked behind but there was only air and water. She stupidly touched that comb. "I…it was a gift," she said.

"James Tonico," Alice said same time.

This drew those coal-rimmed eyes to Alice Sue and this woman looked her up and down. "And that red petticoat?" she said like it offended her to look upon the dragging red ruffle.

Bella could hear Alice Sue's breaths. "The same. And a fella named Sam Hybrow…Ma'am."

Those red lips drew together like the mouth of a reticule pulled tight.

"Those men send you girls these gifts?" she asked like they were in trouble.

"Yes, Ma'am," they both said, only Alice Sue added, "Is that nail paint all the way from China?"

This brought a smile to the woman's face, and Bella felt some relief.

"Where you girls from?" she asked.

"I'm Alice Sue Cope and this here is Bella Marie Cullen. We're from Texas."

The woman put her hands on her hips.

"And how did you come to receive gifts like this from two men old enough to be your daddies?"

Bella felt her jaws let loose. Alice Sue was protesting out loud of course. "No Ma'am they ain't. We didn't do nothing we know of. They just sent these fine gifts and asked us to dinner. Truth be told I'm about to lose my mind holed in that room. Y'all can't imagine a girl from Texas…well I ain't used," and Alice was glaring at Bella while she said this part, "…ain't used at all being held prisoner so to speak."

"And who is holding you prisoner?" the woman asked, looking to Bella to explain.

"No one," Bella said as Alice said, "Her brother Edward Cullen."

"And why would he do that?" she asked.

Bella said, "He ain't," as Alice said, "Pure Texas orneriness. Man from Texas don't need no other reason."

"And where is this brother?" the woman asked looking around.

Bella did not bother to speak this time. Alice said, "Playing cards and being lascivious like always. Him and his brother Jasper Cullen. Two like them you can't corral."

The woman came close to laughing, but she put those long red-tipped fingers near her lips and seemed to catch herself. She was going for stern and it was working. Well Bella was shrinking before her.

"We don't know," Bella said hotly to Alice. Then she looked more sheepish at the woman, "We don't know where Edward is. Probably at dinner, Ma'am."

"Stop with the Ma'am," the woman said. "My name is Victoria."

Alice lifted her skirts and curtsied. "Pleased to make your acquaintance Ma'am…I mean Victoria."

The woman looked at Bella and raised her brow. "What about you Miss Bella Marie? You pleased to make my acquaintance?"

"Well…I was wondering Miss Victoria…if you knew my…knew Edward. Rumor is he's been in a card game. Maybe you've run in to him?"

Victoria studied Bella and she felt that creeping blush run hot in her cheeks.

"I have not. I can tell you this…I have not met this man. Maybe you two are runaways. Maybe you've made him up…this Edward?"

Their words tripped over one another's again as they denied they had made Edward up. Alice Sue was blurting parts of their stories, even Bella falling in to the river. Bella was mortified, but Victoria had to understand, Edward Cullen was real and he was on this boat, and they were not running away. They were on their way to college, in fact.

But while Alice rattled, Bella knew it was like she thought…Edward had kept to himself. That's all. Frankly, she was relieved Victoria had not met him. She was elated.

"You would know Edward if you met him. I will say that," Alice Sue was saying by way of concluding her speech.

"Well now." Victoria folded her arms and looked thoughtfully at them. "You're on your way to dinner with James Tonico and Sam Hybrow. Well now."

"You know them?" Alice said.

Victoria smirked. "Might."

Same time Bella rebuked Alice. "Of course she does." It was obvious she worked on this boat. Probably worked the stage.

Victoria said, "Your brother consenting to what you two are up to?"

Alice reassured Victoria once more they weren't up to a thing.

"We haven't seen him," Bella told her when Alice took a breath. "But…he will not like it."

Victoria had a way of looking right through you. Bella tried to stand tall and hold her gaze.

"I am going to do you girls a favor. How'd you like to be on stage tonight? It would mean you'd have to miss dining with Mr. Tonico and Sam, but this would be better. Have any talent besides getting in over your heads?"

Alice couldn't speak now. Her mouth was open, but there was no sound. She looked at Bella and grabbed her hand. Finally the words got loose, "Yes Ma'am. We sing duets in church. Bella plays."

Bella's head was shaking all on its own. But something inside…was considering Victoria's offer.


	16. Chapter 16

Love Like a Hurricane 16

Alice Sue stood straight enough her red petticoat could no longer trip her but its abused and dusty bottom ruffle lay like a ring of fire holding her to that stage. She had one hand palm up, the other palm down, and them stacked before her small bosom as she sang, well warbled at first but it was pure, the favored song, "I'm Going Back to Dixie."

"I'm going back to Dixie. I'm going back to Dixie. I'm going where the orange blossoms grow. For I hear the children calling. I see the sad tears falling. I'm going back to Dixie. For I must go."

"I've left the old plantation. And my dear old relations. I've left my heart in Dixie and I must go."

Bella Marie pounded out that simple tune on the piano. Good thing it was simple for she had not played in many a day, and then never one tuned so well it was nearly a joy not counting she'd thrown up just moments ago before taking her place on this claw-footed stool. Well, she'd never liked getting in front of folks, and here there were so many she could barely find it in herself to look up. But there was only one she would be searching for anyway, and he, Edward Cullen, would come flying soon enough, to take them by the scruffs of their necks and throw them back in their room.

He would see this worse than her falling in the river. A good woman did not parade herself or put herself on display, he would say, although she'd done it enough riding Alameda all over Texas, but he would see this as deliberate vanity.

And standing in church to sing their duets was not the same as this either. Least in church folks were on their best behavior so other folks would think they were better than they were.

But on this river boat, well next to Alice's singing and some tinkling notes, she could hear the churning of the water from the big wheels but not much else, not anything much, so Bella peeked up a second, just that, not knowing what she would do if her eyes locked with Edward's, but she did not see him first sweep. What she did see was a big room full of faces and them riveted on Alice Sue and them dabbing at their eyes for she was grinding their hearts to powder with her angel's voice.

When Alice was finished, Bella's ears about split. She put her hands over them the applause was so loud, that same heartbeat the earth held when they ran a herd.

When she was little, Edward had lain beside her and taught her to put her ear to the ground so all that stomping could get inside her. He'd told her, "That's Texas." Looked like this stampede was getting in Alice that way.

Alice looked at Bella, her face aglow. But mostly she looked out at those standing, and they shouted too, Bravo and such. Alice Sue's hands had come unstacked and she curtsied slow and deep, that petticoat making a red smile. Well Jasper Cullen would not believe.

They were calling out more songs, their dinners not even finished, and Alice Sue looked at Bella and nodded like they had an act planned, and of course they did not. Were this church they would primly go from one hymn to another. But this here…well what the heck did she expect now?

Alice cleared her throat, not that you could hear it, but the audience seemed to catch on and took their seats. Bella felt her stomach growl and she wanted to run, but Alice Sue piped up, "This here song is called, "The Bonnie Blue Flag," y'all."

Oh not this one. They had sung this at the Fourth of July picnic and folks went crazy. Well they would want to dance and they would get to moving, and she didn't feel up to it all by herself, but others came on the stage now, musicians nodding at Bella as she stared in fear and wonder. Two picked up fiddles and took their places, another a banjo, two others guitars. Bella laid her hands in her lap, but one of the fiddlers nodded she should kick it off, so her hands were quickly poised to do she knew not what.

Alice Sue plunged right in. Bella caught up quick, and the other instruments joined in. The audience quickly sang with Alice. Men raised their glasses and women swayed as they sang, "Hurrah for the bonnie blue flag that bears a single star." It was a bit risky to bring up the war, but not as risky as it had been in past years. Perhaps folks were healing some.

No longer bearing the weight of the entire musical accompaniment, Bella was able to look over the room. James Tonico sat near the front of the stage, Sam to his left. Their table was smaller than most. She could see the two empty seats she and Alice were meant to fill. Tonico was looking straight at her, and he nodded now, smiling in a way made her gulp. She put her eyes on the keyboard and tried to play a few notes, hoping no one could hear her mistakes.

Her hands were shaking. If Edward was watching, he wouldn't like any of this, of course, but Tonico's attention, well it wasn't to be trifled with. She knew that. Alice Sue's nagging had practically drugged her into submission. She was suddenly embarrassed to have worn the mantilla, much as she appreciated its scant lacy protection along the side of her face. But it was Tonico's stare that burned against it, and not Edward's, and that was vastly different.

More thunderous applause and Bella hit a note, realizing the song had ended. But she could do no wrong, it seemed, and the other musicians were smiling at her and clapping for her and Alice Sue.

More voices called out songs, one tripping over the other. Alice Sue had her hand to her ear to try and pick one from the pile. They weren't up here to play the night away. Bella was glaring at Alice, willing her to look at her, but of course that one did not, in all her glory now.

Alice Sue was going to sing, "Amazing Grace." Pretty smart with the uncertainty war songs could inspire. But Lord, everyone was looking at Bella and she began the introduction to the hymn she did know like the back of her glove covered hand.

Well, she'd never heard Alice sing so purely before. Maybe she just hadn't cared so much. Yes, this stage was bringing it out. And she wasn't doing so badly herself. Folks sang in soft voices as if this were a church. Well God was everywhere and she surely hoped that meant this boat.

If applause could sink a ship, theirs would be on the bottom of the Mississippi right now. Soon as Alice sang the final line about standing in glory forever and ever and having all the time in the world to do it, they were on their feet and bringing the thunder.

Alice curtsied, held up her hand to Bella and she awkwardly stood and bobbed her head, and the applause continued for a full minute.

Alice had her hands clasped under her chin as she observed the admiring throng. Bella ignored James Tonico's furious clapping for her as he'd turned his whole body her way, and she sought that face, that strong tall form who would wear a white shirt, a black coat perhaps, who would make all others pale in this room. But he was not to be found. He was nowhere as James Tonico walked to the stage and laid a rose at her feet.

Sometimes Edward thought of her, dreamed of her, talked to her, rode with her behind him, her face pressed against his back, her arms around his middle and the ache in him assuaged.

Sometimes she rode beside and he could see her lovely face. He could get lost watching her…mouth move, her eyes shine, her hands flutter about, her leg against the horse, her body small and strong.

He'd taken care of her. He wanted to. He'd always wanted to. It wasn't hardship. It was purpose.

In his dreams he'd worry over telling her…what she meant. He'd touch her. She would smile at him, she would touch his face. Her skin with that deep rich honey, her hair like starlight woven in, her voice running to deep.

He'd be in her room, that time he'd walked in, her standing there, shoulders bare…that look on her face…pure woman.

Well he loved her. Love just became more love. It grew and it changed. It was always protective. Then it was something else too. He wanted her. Seems like he could let it out now. He wanted her. Bella. Bella Marie.

Then the dark creaking and water slapping against the bowl of this room. He would try to bring her back. He didn't know she wasn't real until he came back here to this dark stink. Pain and misery were in him, the likes of which he had not known before. He'd seen men sick. He'd seen men die of sick, but he had not experienced such himself, not ever to the point of suffering he knew here.

He thought he was going to die. And all he'd felt he could do was standby and watch it happen. Hell he'd prayed for it a couple of times, he did, let me die, he'd said, like God wasn't already trying to kill him.

There was a boy…and a woman. He knew he'd called her Bella more than once. She never spoke. The boy would some, but not this gal. But they cared for him. If he lived…he'd owe them. And that would be a lesser problem to have. The biggest now seemed staying alive.


	17. Chapter 17

Love Like a Hurricane 17

Victoria was waiting for them near the stage curtain partially hidden so most folks couldn't see. Alice Sue had sung six songs before she reluctantly abandoned her love-struck audience. They were begging for more.

They wanted Bella to play the calliope. Others disagreed. They were sick of hearing the loud whistling organ at every port. All Bella knew, she wasn't touching that big thing. Macey said James Tonico himself was known to play such. And the master of it wouldn't appreciate her lack of skill, throwing her sad notes all along the banks of the Mississippi like hail in a storm of judgment, she was sure.

As Bella hurried toward the safety of the curtain, she imagined Edward waiting behind it. Even his eyes shaming her would be welcomed. But he wasn't there. James Tonico was right behind her though.

Alice was making gleeful gasping sounds. She was hugging everyone-Bella, a team of jugglers, three tired looking dancers, various musicians, all pretty much crushed in her little arms a bit longer than was proper. She did not hug James Tonico, nor did he avail himself to such. He and Victoria were in a stare-off. Bella knew all about those.

For all the talk going on Bella said loudly, "I need to see my brother, Mr. Tonico. It's not right he ain't here. It's not like him at all. Is he in that card game or not? If he is, I need y'all to take me there right away."

"Now hold on beautiful Bella," Tonico said shifting that cheroot from mouth to manicured fingers.

"Seems she's got a brother who hasn't been seen," Victoria said hands on her hips and her moving between Bella and James.

"That right?" James said, but when he spoke to Victoria there was a change in his tone and his eyes. He was pretending to be sanguine, but Bella knew it wasn't real.

Bella waited for an answer. To her great surprise she could hear Alice Sue singing from on stage again. Bella felt protective, but she was not going to leave James Tonico until he helped her find Edward. She was nearly sick with worry. She'd have to strangle Alice Sue later.

"Miss Victoria said Edward is not in that card game. I need to find him. He's not at dinner either."

"Now Miss, calm your pretty head. You've just had a big moment on the stage out there. Don't you want to go back and play some more of that sweet music?" Tonico was enjoying this.

Bella lifted her chin, ticked as all get out. "Who do I see to find out where my brother is? Maybe you're not the boss like it seemed." She held his gaze.

James looked off, planting that cheroot in the middle of his insolent smile. His teeth were very white and straight as he bit the end of that stinking thing. "Reckon you and me should go looking," he said, offering Bella his arm.

"Like hell," Victoria said nearly yanking Bella off her feet as she pulled her out of James' reach. "I can take the girl for a look-see."

Now James threw that smoke down and ground it under his fine boot. Then quick as a flash he grabbed Victoria's arm and pulled her close to his face. She still held Bella, had tightened her hold in fact, so the three of them were in a tight circle.

"Your _services_ are needed elsewhere, darling." He said this through his teeth. He continued to stare and Bella felt the emotion running through Victoria's body in answer. These two…they knew how to tangle. She'd felt this before men shot their guns. Well she may have been stuck on the ranch but she was not sheltered from violence. She'd seen some things weren't pretty, done some things even. And that time in Old Mex, she could write a dime novel herself. Edward didn't like to think it, but she could she'd seen that much.

Bella squirmed to get free and that seemed to shake some words from Victoria.

"Is that what you want?" the woman said to James, a deep note of feeling in her words.

"Go on and part that Red Sea darling," he sneered this. "There's more men waiting to drown themselves."

Bella heard Victoria swallow. That was somehow a lascivious comment. There were some tears in Victoria's eyes. The rage-filled, quiet kind.

"Maybe I'll take this one with me." She shook Bella some, or tried to as Bella did not comply.

"She stays with me," James said. "You've had your fun, sugar." He tried to pull Bella away and Victoria resisted. They started to struggle and Bella took an elbow in her ribs. All the while Alice Sue sang out from the stage, "Pass me not oh gentle Savior. Hear my humble cry."

Victoria had James bent over holding his man parts and taking the Lord's name in vain. Bella knew a man could not take a blow to such. Edward had told her if a man ever laid hands on her to knee him in his pecker with all the strength of God behind it. Then he'd told her to scream her head off and run like holy hell. That's if she had not a gun nor chance to fire. He said to do that first.

Once, when Seth had made her very mad, and she was too young to think things out very well, she had used that move and Seth had fallen like a felled steer and cried out for Mama. Edward had rebuked Bella when he heard what she'd done and she had yelled how it was all his fault. But he still told Mama to punish her.

But Victoria must have had an older brother too, for she knew just how to unleash her knee into James Tonico and great was the fall of that man. He was on his side ever so quiet now.

Alice had the crowd singing again. "Bacon and Greens," this time.

Victoria pulled hard on Bella's arm. "Come on," she said breathless, her red hair grown larger than before from all the scuffling.

Bella was torn, reaching toward Alice who stood on that stage, but being pulled out a side door by Victoria. She followed because there wasn't much choice.

The boat was pretty well deserted with everyone in the dining hall to partake in Alice Sue's debut.

"Where are we going?" Bella said, yanking hard and breaking free of Victoria's bruising hold. "I…," she started to say she had to find Edward.

"Shut up," Victoria said, holding her skirts high. "You don't know shit, girl. You're so close to death the fire is scorching your ass."

Bella was almost running now. She followed Victoria's flying curls into a narrow corridor that led to some stairs. These took them down to the bottom deck and it was hot and busy and noisy and it stank like life and death. There was a clanking and colored folks needing to get by carrying trays and buckets, and Victoria led Bella to another long row of doorways, some open and Victoria went in and out, in and out, opening doors, pushing in, getting yelled at, fussed at, then up another flight they went, and another, and another, and another to the tip top now, and fancy, red and gold and women in their drawers and one room after another and same thing, Victoria pushing in bold, and cursing and carrying on, men and women some and cigar stink, and in one a woman holding to the end of a brass bed, petticoats like a cloud and her bare bottom, him pounding in to it, and his big belly, well Lord God.

Then a big yank on her arm and they were moving up a few stairs and a short hallway and a card game going on in one and men looking up, glad to see them, but not sure by the looks on her and Victoria's faces, and not one of them, not a single one heard tell of an Edward Cullen but they wanted her name, wanted her to come on in, one patted his knee, and another yank by Victoria and they were moving again.

On deck they came to a halt and Victoria swung around. "Look," Victoria said, her hands on Bella's arms and her looking over their shoulders like the devil was coming, "…you got to get off this boat. You and that other one. Go on back home. Maybe your brother is there."

"He wouldn't…," Bella started to say. Well how could she explain Edward to this here whirly-gig. There were no words for who Edward was. But if he lived…and she knew he did…she felt him in this world, beating in her chest, pumping in her blood. Edward was alive. And there was nothing God ever made not a beast or a man or a demon who would hold on like him.

Except for her. That's what she knew.

"Quiet for a minute and listen," Victoria said. "Something bad might have come to him. I don't know his fate. But I can tell you yours if you don't get off this boat. He'll pretend you're special. And you will be. All the way to St. Louis maybe. He'll promise to put you on the stage and all the while you'll think he's falling in love with you. When all the while he can't love. A snake isn't capable. By the time you realize you'll be in so deep you'll never get out. You'll turn around and ten years will have gone by and you'll be…," her voice choked out here, but she went on, "you'll be carrying…and he'll tell you…he'll say to take the herbs…and…." She shook Bella some more but she seemed to be shaking herself too. It was frightening how Victoria's insides seemed to melt. Bella could feel it.

"I'll have a boat over the side and you and that one are getting off tonight. Don't give me any grief, you hear?" Her voice was weak now.

"You don't know Edward," Bella whispered.

"I know James Tonico."

"It's like comparing my horse Alameda to crowbait," Bella said, defiant. "James Tonico's done anything to hurt Edward…."

Victoria rallied, all fire now and her head shot up and she shoved Bella and she lost her footing and fell so hard to her bottom she saw stars. Before she could think Victoria charged forward. "You listen to me…I haven't see two greener, dumber girls in all my life. You get to your room and lock the door. Sundown I'll send a man to put you in that boat and make sure you get to shore. You all got money?"

"Edward," she said.

"Dumb, just like I said. I'll give you enough to get you on passage home. Now that's more than I should do seeing you are both so dumb." Victoria was dusting her hands like she couldn't be rid of them fast enough.

"I'd rather have a gun. Can you get me one?" Bella said.

"You stupid bitch."

"And some bullets, please. I can't pay money, but I have my pin and Alice Sue has her broach."

"You ain't heard a word I've said," Victoria yelled looking crazed.

"Yes Ma'am, I heard. But this boat is the last place Edward saw me. I'm waiting for him right here."

"And what you going to do when he don't show? How you gonna save your stupid self, you and your partner in destruction and damnation?"

"Well…I reckon James Tonico proves to be the snake you tell me…he's gonna meet the wrath of Texas."

"The wrath…?" Victoria said in a defeated whisper.

"Yes Ma'am." Bella slowly got on her feet. She ungraciously rubbed her backside.

"You even know how to fire a gun?"

"Yes Ma'am. When six Comanche braves stood silent in our yard one spring morning, full-on paint, my brother told us to arm ourselves. He turned to me and seeing I already held my rifle he said, 'Be brave my sister. I won't let anything happen to you or Mama.' And I said, 'I won't either.' So we loaded and stood at the ready. Edward shot first, over their heads and when they returned fire he told us to take our stations and each of us manned one of the fire-holes he'd cut into our shutters. Mama shot same time as me and we were side by side. One of the braves dropped and laid still. The others took him off and they left us alone. We never knew which one…me or Mama."

She kept looking at Victoria. She could barely stand the sad mess on that one's face. This strange woman had tried to be helpful. It's just…folks gave you Saul's armor sometimes. That's what Edward said. He said, you got to go to a battle, make sure you can use your own weapons. Make sure they are yours.

Well David had a sling. That sling worked.

"You're being foolish," Victoria whispered.

Bella retrieved Edward's bandana from her pocket and held it up like a flag of surrender, hopeful Miss Victoria would allow her to wipe some of that mess from her face.

She nodded Bella could, and she gently cleaned Victoria's cheeks.

"When's that baby coming anyway," Bella said.

Victoria looked at her, a fresh wash of tears that did help in the cleaning. "Reckon Christmas time."

"Well now," Bella said. "Baby is a happy thing. Least my mama says so. She said the day my pa brought me home she started living again. I was adopted."

Victoria had a good cry then. It went on some, Bella standing there, much smaller, but holding that big woman while she cried.

Finally she sniffed, and she'd pretty much taken over the bandana. "Girl, what are you going to do?" she said sniffing. "You can't stand against him."

"Don't you worry, Miss Victoria," Bella said softly. "Mostly…things work out. And me and Alice Sue…we got some bangtail in us, that's for sure."

Well, Edward always said that.


	18. Chapter 18

(Some threat here for the delicate).

Thanks for reading.

Love Like a Hurricane 18

Bella quickly followed Victoria back through the corridor of sin. This time she kept her eyes on the woman's wild hair and narrow back and ignored gamblers and whores, cackling laughter and moans that made her bite a knuckle.

If this woman was trying to scare Bella's liver right out of her, she had nearly succeeded, except for this—Bella had lived under threat of disaster her whole life. The Indians were coming, the Mexicans were coming, rustlers were already there working the lower pasture, the Rebs were coming, the Yanks were coming, Jasper must be dead, the cattle got a fever, we ain't heard from Edward, looks like a twister, the Lord is getting madder every day and fixing to come on a white horse breathing fire…well take your pick, the gavel of judgment had been over her head so long she thought it was a hammer shaped cloud in a blue sky.

Mama, the harbinger of most of these prophecies of doom, had also told her to consider the birds, they do not sow nor reap yet God the Father provided for them.

That would be the same God coming on the white horse, but he was the boss and she prayed regular to talk him out of his fiery return for a spell.

Yet, if it was her time then the God who ordained her days had the final stroke. She had surely lived through many dangers, toils and snares and apparently those weren't limited to Texas. And this here—with Edward missing—was no time to wet herself.

Victoria was talking the whole time they were moving. She said she had only come looking for her and Alice after Macey had told her about the gifts…gifts that came from the top floor. James always gave those out when he was cultivating new girls.

Bella ripped off that veil and pulled on the comb. Tears were brought to her eyes, but she got it out.

Soon as they reached Victoria's simple room she handed her those symbols of slavery and shame.

Victoria took those things and said soft that she'd gone to James hoping after all these years she could keep this baby.

He had said, maybe someday she could have her one. He got ready, they'd settle down in St. Louis and she could keep his house. In the next few years he reckoned regulations were going to get so tight on the river, he said, he was going to change his ways, and haul textiles instead of dealing in cards and whores.

Well, Victoria wasn't so happy. She wanted this child. It tore at her for there had been others. And when Macey told her about the gifts…about Bella and Alice and him taken with them…she went red as the petticoat. She knew James Tonico was a snake who'd never shed his skin and she couldn't stand it no more that he got all he wanted and she could not have her own child.

She said she wasn't sorry what she'd done to Tonico-putting them on the big stage and kicking his man parts. That had been her finally standing up, she said.

"You in trouble now?" Bella asked. Surely Tonico would be angry she'd rebelled.

"We're all in trouble," Victoria said. "None more than you and that other. You'd best listen and get off this boat."

Bella had already told her that wasn't going to happen. God himself would have to take her off before they hit St. Louis, that's what.

Victoria said she had to get to work and Bella remembered James saying that about parting the Red Sea and menfolk drowning. She did not want to give her mind to it.

But she meant it about that gun and she reminded Victoria of it.

"I will try and have you one later tonight. I'll send it by Macey's hand but you do not brandish it. It will not come lawful and if you aren't careful its owner will see and have you arrested," Victoria warned her.

Then she told Bella, "James would not have put you on that main stage, but upstairs in the private rooms to sing for the gamblers. It's not the same. He's plenty of places he needs girls. And were you not so pretty you'd fill the first empty bed and you'd earn your keep then, my girl, you and that fidgety one. You stay with him you'll get there soon enough."

Bella was tired of Victoria thinking she didn't know. She'd seen that woman getting mated with like a dog would take the bitch. She knew this deck was Sodom and Gomorrah. Men did it to women like the animals…just like Edward had said.

"Once I steal that gun, I wash my hands. I've done what I could. First time, maybe, but I'm done. It's just…well I had a sister once." Then she shook her head and her hands. "After that gun…no more."

"I am beholding," Bella whispered. But she turned away some rattled. She needed to get Alice Sue and hole up in their room and make a plan. They had to stay out of Tonico's clutches without making him so mad he wouldn't let them back on the stage. Once they regained the chance to perform they could tell the whole ship about Edward gone missing. Everyone would be looking then. And when they hit the next port they would send a message to Jasper. That's if he hadn't taken off on another cattle drive. But he was the one would set this all right. Were he not a tumbleweed and half way to Abilene.

Bella went to the dining hall and Alice Sue was off the stage now, surrounded by folks laughing at everything she had to say looked like. Let them love her. Let her charm them…win them. Maybe some of what Victoria said was twisted. Mama always said whoever told the story looked the best.

One thing was true…Alice was famous on this boat. Maybe nothing could touch her now with her newly grown angel wings. They were going to figure this out and be alright. She had to believe it. Edward was the one in peril of some kind. She and Alice just needed to think.

So Bella was a whirl of resolve as she walked to the room she shared with Alice. Some kind of strength was boiling in her. God help the man…God help the one who'd raised his hand. Scratch in her yard, sorrow or pain, man or beast, she would shoot through the window. Just like Mama. Just like a Cullen. For she was Edward's and she would find him.

Before she went inside she stood at the railing and rubbed her chest, felt the thrum of her heart. Her love for Edward was a hurricane inside rolling fierce. She told herself to pay attention.

There were many vessels on this river, especially near the ports. She tried to study them, wondered what some were called. Well they looked like they were every shape and size, most carrying loads of goods like cotton or hemp or tobacco. Many of the smaller boats had cabins of various sizes and shapes built in their middles, mostly, and folks lived on them, right there, Chinamen and Negroes and folks talked the foreign talk of one kind or another. She'd heard all that in New Orleans. She wondered first time, if Edward wasn't on this boat…could he be on another? Could he be on one of them? How? And why?

But her thoughts were interrupted by the distant whistle of another riverboat coming from the opposite way. How she wished she could be happy, leaning over the rail laughing, Edward at her side, not a care in the world. She was far from that now.

After some minutes she went toward her room to wait for Macey to bring that gun. She opened her door and there he sat…James Tonico. He was filling their room with the smoke from his stinking cheroot.

A surprise attack. Well damn.

"Come on in," he said, puffing away.

"I was," she said, flushing red as she remembered last time she'd seen him clutching his privates.

She left the door wide.

"Shut it," he said, gesturing.

"Ain't right," she said.

"Do it anyway," he said, the sanguine mask off. "I own everything."

"Not me," she said. He never would. But quelled some, she shut the door for she'd lost her knife in the river and her hands were empty.

She would not be that one with her backside getting riddled by him. She made a quick promise to herself. She would die fighting that.

"Alice Sue is coming," she said, like that was a threat to his intentions.

"Sit," he said gesturing to the other rocker.

"No thank you," she said.

"Sit the hell down, Bella," he said stern.

She walked to the chair and sat. Her backside hurt from that fall on the deck, but she welcomed the pain.

"I have your brother," he said.

Her head was doing that shaking again, that taking off.

Edward was alive just like she knew. Nothing else mattered.

"He'll kill you," she said. James Tonico would die for this.

James tilted his head back and laughed. He had all his teeth in there and them not rotten. Seemed a shame God had been so good to him. He stuck that cigar in a cup of cold tea and it sizzled.

He reached over then, quick, and slapped her face so hard she fell back and set that chair in motion. She had not seen that coming, had not known. Her hand went to her face. Her jaw beat a drum.

He had that look, like for Victoria, that peeled down hate.

Victoria spoke true about him.

"Don't cry, darlin'," he said. "I didn't mean it." He reached and stroked her cheek. His finger was smooth. Snakeskin.

She pushed on her toes, holding that chair back far as it would go to get away from him, but he stood and leaned over her, his hands on the arms of that chair. "You are one beautiful woman. But you ain't no woman, are you? Just a girl. Just a pathetic half breed. Sludge in the blood. I bet I cut you," he fumbled in his jacket pocket and soon had a knife in his hand and he ran the dull side of the blade over her cheek where his finger had been, "I bet it runs brown like the shit in a bucket of slop."

Right over her knee, her skinny, knobby knee, Tonico's pecker.

Edward always teased her about her knees. When she rode behind him, he'd put his hand on her knee and pretend to crank it like he was turning a knob. He even made a click-sound when he did it.

She wondered if she could get it up with enough force to send Tonico's cajones into his liver.

He stood quick then, pushing off and her head bounced and hit the chair with a thud. But she did not see stars this time. He backed away and towered there. His buff colored suit was some rumpled and so was he. She could feel it.

"Where is he?" she said, for she could not stand to wait another second. He would play this out, he was already. She didn't want to show how desperate she was to hear, to know, but it had burst out of her.

"You do me right 'til we get to St. Louis you can meet him there. He's behind. You do me wrong I'll take care of that little canary first. Got a man pay high dollar to rut with that bird. You do me right…keep your big mouth shut…I'll let him live. We get to St. Louie, I'll see he meets you there."

"Is…is he well?"

"Got himself in some trouble with one of my girls. Keeping him safe from himself. We get to St. Louis I could let the sheriff have him. Guess that's up to you…Bella."

Lies. Filthy, dirty lies. "Why…why not the next port? Why not put him off and we'll get off with him? You ain't the law."

"I'm the law on this river."

"I need to see him. Alice Sue and me are on our way to school. We have family. We got three more brothers between us. You think they'll take kindly to this, James Tonico? You are making a terrible mistake. Edward's an important man. Alice Sue's pa…and her mama…you do not know who we are, Mr. Tonico. Everyone saw us on that stage. You might as well try to corral a twister as think you're going to get by with running afoul of us."

He drew close again, leaned over her like before. He looked her over, all around, like she was in her skin and not her layers of clothes. "You," he said, and the knife wasn't in his hand no more. "You," he said. "I saw you the minute you got on that ship, him watching over like the good shepherd, you his little lamb. I know flesh, girl. I know all its colors. Ain't much I haven't seen…or had. But him with you…I couldn't take my eyes off. Brother? His pet. That's what you are. His prize. Looking at me like I ain't fit…me. And for what? His little sludge.

"Oh, I wish he was here to see…us…now…you looking at me…trying to give me hell like a little yapping dog. Maybe…maybe he will…watch us…you all slick and brown naked under me. I want to see it…that brown skin. I want to feel it…all that fire and hate…I want to break you down…break you apart…show you just what you are. But I know you'll fight…and I can't wait…."

She spit in his face. He stayed poised over her, eyes closed, but he wasn't mad. He was…strange…almost like he enjoyed her spittle sliding on his cheek.

But the door opened then. There was Alice Sue, and James straightened quick. Sam was behind Alice and she was beaming. But seeing James standing there, wiping his face with his handkerchief and Bella looking the way she must have, her joy drained right off, like it got wiped away and she looked confused.

"What's happened?" Alice said.

"I was just saying goodnight to Miss Bella here. My advice seeing as you ladies are on your own…stay in this room tonight and lock the door." He stopped at Alice Sue and took her hand and pressed his lips upon it. "Good-night, dear girl. And thank you for entertaining our guests tonight with your sweet voice. Tomorrow…I'd like to have a private show. Just me and some of my acquaintances. Men who can make you both famous."

Alice pulled her hand away and looked at Bella.

After they went out Alice sank to the floor. "What did you do?" she accused.

Bella stood then. Wouldn't be fair to unleash it all on Alice. They were in enough trouble.

"He's got Edward," she said.

"What are you saying? Edward Cullen is fine. Probably laid up drunk in a bed with a woman on each arm, Bella. When you gonna see what is comes to him?" Alice yelled this.

"He told me, Alice. He told me he's got him," Bella shouted. She wasn't sure one of those damn scalawags wasn't outside the door listening. So she whispered, "But don't worry. I've got me a gun coming. Next time James Tonico dangles his privates over my knee I'm gonna shoot him dead."

"You're crazy," Alice Sue said. "I came in here with all this hope and light. Never known such a happy day since my birthday. I came in here to share my sunshine and it ain't five minutes by the clock I'm ready to jump in the river."

"Next time you're on that stage—not that private one, we ain't ever going on that one-but the other- you need to tell them our brother is missing. That should give them plenty to buzz about. We hit port tomorrow we need to get a wire sent home so Jasper can come."

"Jasper?" she whispered.

"That's right. The wrath of Texas."

"Why would James Tonico take Edward? It doesn't make sense. "

"He…wants me."

"You?"

"And you, too."

"Me? Well I got talent at least."

"Alice Sue…there are things you don't know about this boat and about James Tonico."

"Our luck has gone to gravy since Edward has left us alone," Alice cried. "Can't you see it? Why you got to slander Mr. Tonico? You're just jealous of all the attention I got on that stage. First time in my life I been noticed! All the way here him bossing every little thing, watching every little move. I say leave Edward Cullen right where he is."

"He is held against his will. We are being kidnapped."

"We are on a riverboat in the Mississippi, Bella. Why can't you enjoy yourself? Be grateful! It will be over before you know it and we'll be stuck in that school with the Methodists and no one will want us again!"

"Did you not see James Tonico in this room forcing himself on me?"

"You need to think again about letting a man in your room."

"He was in here when I came back from searching for Edward. He threatened me, slapped me."

Alice was staring at Bella's red face. "I…he hit you?"

"Slapped me hard." She told Alice what he said then.

"What are we gonna do?"

"Whatever we have to," Bella said calm. "I ain't gonna sit by while James Tonico holds Edward in some kind of jail. Tonico said Edward was 'behind.' I think he might be behind the boilers, or the engine. I was close to that with Victoria…so close. Soon as I get that gun I'm going down there. This is serious as it gets."

"You think it will come to that…I mean killing?" Alice Sue asked wiping her eyes on the rim of that sad petticoat then seeming to notice like she'd forgotten all about it. She stood and gathered her skirts and pulled that petticoat off, kicking it across the floor.

"Tonico decides. But I plan to fight. What about you?"

"Of course!" she said. "I'm saving myself for Jasper. Best thing you said was getting him to St. Louis. You reckon he could see me on the stage one time before all hell breaks loose?"

"Alice Sue, you ask questions God Himself couldn't answer," Bella said.

She went to the door then, cracked it to make sure no one was about. To her surprise, a man stood beside it. He was big. "Y'all need to stay put."

"Yes sir," Bella said pretending she wasn't shocked. "But…Macey, our maid is coming to help us get ready to retire. You reckon you could let her in?"

The man shrugged, but his hand was firm on Bella's arm as he shoved her inside and closed the door. She stood there looking at Alice, then, and Alice Sue gulped. They were prisoners. She crossed to Alice and held out her shaking hand.

"I am ready to kill James Tonico, need be. I will never surrender," Bella whispered. "Remember the Alamo."

Alice slid her hand into Bella's and grasped tight. "But they all died," she said.


	19. Chapter 19

Love Like a Hurricane 19

Alice fell asleep in one of the chairs. Bella lie awake on the floor next to the bureau they'd pushed in front of the door. At least James Tonico and his cohorts would have to make some noise if they tried to sneak in.

Alice held the china picture on her lap, and Bella had worked a bed slat free. She held that now like an anchor in a storm. Their minds weren't their only weapons they'd be using. Anything this room had to offer would do. Especially since Bella described how she'd seen that woman getting taken from behind by that man with the stomach big as a barrel of beer. Alice had fallen back in her chair and stared for a full minute. "From behind?" she said. "In the place where…?"

"I did not stop to inquire," Bella said fierce, but surely not. They'd see the horse, the cows and all of God's kingdom round about, and there were two places she knew.

"Where you make water?" Alice asked, for the blood came from somewhere during monthlies, and not the back-hole, she went on to say.

"Must be," Bella said, "must be the same."

"Oh my God," Alice Sue kept saying, at first all the time, then less until she went to sleep.

Many times Bella had comforted herself with the feel of a weapon in the night, but not one so rudimentary as this. Tonico's hatred had poured over her like rain. There were enemies back home, but never one got on her and hated her with his eyes and teeth and tongue and words.

They could beat on the walls and raise their plight to other passengers, but then she may never find Edward. So she would wait for port, but she had no peace.

Why would he leave them? Was he alive? This sorry question screamed in her head. Tears leaked into her hair. Was he waiting on her? Was he trying to send her a message? She scrunched her eyes and searched her mind for the sound of his voice. Was he telling her to come for him? Wouldn't he expect her to save him? She would! He could not save himself apparently. Well, she was mad as a spring-time gander to be so powerless.

And where in hellfire was Macey? Bella prayed to Jesus, Victoria would find them a gun, steal it off one of those randy fellas. She prayed the Old Testament way, over and over, "Deliver our enemies into my hands. Let me kill them with great vengeance. Just give me a gun and I will do it for your glory…and mine…dear God. I will be Jael…I will be Deborah…I will be fierce and swift and bloody. Amen."

She repeated this many times…some version of it. She heard Edward saying not to raise a gun she wouldn't fire. She'd proved herself true. Use your own weapons, he'd said. Kick the man-place, scream your head off and run. There was always that. And folks on this boat would help them.

They were some troubled. But they were not desperate. Cast down for sure. But not forsaken. Not by a long shot. They'd hit port tomorrow and St. Louis in three days. They would raise their flag, they would not be silent.

She must have dozed, but the scratching on the door woke her. She sat up and the slat clunked to the floor. Voices spoke from outside the door then. Bella pressed her ear, Macey and that man. Bella must have awakened him with the noise she'd made. He was asking Macey what she wanted this hour and Macey said, "They have to eat."

He said to leave it, then Macey said, "It's not for you, Sir."

That man took umbrage being told by Macey what to do and he told her to get then. Bella picked up the slat. She reckoned he ate the food, too.

She didn't hear Macey after that.

"Alice Sue," she whispered, but that one was already awake.

"Is it James?"

"The guard caught Macey. He sent her off."

"Well that's just terrible," she whisper-shouted. Alice unfolded herself from that chair and stood slow. "Oh Lord, my back." She set the china picture on a table there and commenced to unbutton her dress.

"What are you doing?" Bella scolded.

"You said we needed weapons. What about the ones you keep denying?"

She nearly ripped that dress off and stepped out of it in her chemise and corset and petticoats.

Bella couldn't think beyond the fact they talked about the mating holes and all, and her peeling off wasn't moving in the right direction.

"As I live and breathe…," Bella started to scold.

"Open the door, Bella."

"What?"

"Open the door or I'll do it myself."

Bella held her board like a club. "Get past me first."

"You want to hit someone, open the door. He sees me I'll get him in here and you can use that board. Make sure you hit him like a Christmas pig."

"You are such a crazy…."

"You want to pull in your horns go right ahead," Alice said with heat. "I've had enough."

Bella chewed her lip some. "I hit him…we can't stop."

"Then let's put him to bed with a pick and shovel," Alice said sounding so much like her drunk Mama Bella's blood ran cold. "Now open the door."

Bella nodded then. She must be crazy too. She was. They scooted the bureau and he heard.

"What you girls doing in there?" he said through the wood.

Bella was fixing to open the door, but he beat her to it. He looked in, squinting in the dark. "Come on in," Alice said soft.

"What you girls doin' in here?"

"Come in and see," Alice said stepping back to give him room.

Bella stood closest to the door…waiting.

"You'ins better not be up to something. I got to raise Mr. Tonico…hell to pay."

Bella stood back more so she could take that board and get a two-handed grip. Well she'd been praying for this, but she was balking like a Texas punk and he took a couple steps in and she gulped so loudly he saw her there. Before he got out his surprise, she tried to move her arms and club him up side of the head, but he was too quick and he grabbed hold of that board and he pretty much yanked her off her feet.

But Alice Sue came streaking across the floor and hit him right in the side of the head with that china picture and it broke apart with a crash sounded like the Lord's return, but his hands left that slat and he went to his knees.

Bella took the end of the slat and rammed him right in his nose. And when he stayed kneeling there like he saw heaven open, she spun around and went for his head like it was a piñata. She got in two solid whacks before he fell on his side.

Her arms burned from having put her hundred and ten behind those hits. And it hadn't been quiet. But another riverboat was drawing near and there was singing, even this time of night, cause folks got wild on these boats sometimes and one would serenade another, especially groups of young men. And if there was a wedding then it was raucous noise, and that was coming now.

Alice closed their door. Bella got stuck again.

"Check his breathing," Alice yelled.

Bella went to her knees and stuck her finger under the man's battered nose. "He's breathing…I think. Or not. Maybe not."

Alice was pulling on her dress again. She was buttoning two or three of the buttons. "Come on," she said yanking Bella onto her feet.

Bella followed her on the deck. The other boat was pulling closer now, and folks were opening their doors as Alice Sue and Bella ran past, some happy for the invasion, but others having some complaints. But the girls had no time. Bella overtook Alice and led the way toward the deck below but Alice stopped her before they took the stairs. "Bella…let me go."

"What?"

"Let me go. This other boat…I'm going to jump on."

"No you're not," Bella screeched.

"I'm gonna go on the stage, Bella. They don't all belong to Tonico. You go on and find Edward. That Methodist school…that's your calling. Not mine. I'm gonna be famous, Bella. I'm gonna sing."

Bella grabbed Alice Sue. "You get that notion…."

"Let me go," Alice yelled, and they started to tussle.

They were quickly rolling all over the deck. They were kicking up so much dust they were spotted by some of the singing drunks from the other boat. They were being hooted at and they broke apart for a minute, Alice waving friendly and Bella huffing, outraged. "You can't just go off and leave and get in another mess. What if Edward is…."

"Edward is fine, Bella. If he's still in this world he can take care of himself. If he's dead you ain't gonna find him no matter how hard you look. Any of these folks round here will help you. You'll get to that school and you'll do fine."

Bella lunged for Alice then. Not only had Alice put the words 'Edward' and 'dead' in the same sentence, she was a deserter, a pagan, and just plain out of her mind.

They fought more then, and it got ugly, and folks on the other boat were caterwauling and carrying on. Bella got a punch in then and Alice went to her knees and Bella threw herself on the smaller girl and a sound rocked the boat.

And another blast.

And a third, louder, closer.

Folks were yelling and Bella got Alice on her feet this time. They ran one way on the deck for twenty feet, but folks were running in to them, in their nightshirts and gowns, mothers holding children, everyone screaming, and fire, and the sound and sight of bodies jumping over the rails from the decks above.

Both boats lit the night sky, only minutes gone by. Flames shot so high, and Bella put a leg up on the rail and looked back at Alice gawking there and she said, "Come on," and she jumped into the dark water, between the two boats that were going up like oil soaked pyres.

She saw Alice jump and she struggled to tread water and keep note of her dark head bobbing up, and her pinched white face and her plastered hair…and they swam for it then, they swam to get clear and behind them the blasts…and the screams…and the weird light from the fires lighting the inky sky.


	20. Chapter 20

Love Like a Hurricane 20

Both boats were completely engulfed within a span of five minutes. Explosions continued to blast into the night like cannons fired by a demonic force. As Bella and Alice struggled to stay afloat and get free of the macabre scene, the hysteria behind them reached its height.

Bella's arms were so tired, but fear and the will to survive had kept her digging across the swift black water. When she could spare the breath she yelled at Alice, "Keep going."

They were swimming for one of the houseboats that made its way toward them. But the current had its own mind. They moved swiftly away from the craft toward a more prominent vessel, a barge, steam-powered and making good time. If they could stay the course, they might reach that one, and with help be saved. But the dark water seemed to grip Bella's legs and pull her down river.

Someone had caught up to Alice. Bella turned, got a mouthful of Mississip for her trouble. Sam Hybrow was commanding Alice to surrender to his hold. Bella couldn't argue. At least she knew Alice Sue wasn't going to drown. Maybe there were worse things than a pummeling from behind. No…maybe there weren't.

She kicked hard, but progress was slow. Soon as she could gather strength and breath she'd give a warning to that Sam. But he overtook her and shouted she should keep up. He pulled Alice Sue along, towing her behind so she faced Bella for a brief moment.

"Bella," she called out, "don't you throw in." Then to Sam, "Don't you leave her. Let me go."

"Stop fighting," Sam countered as they moved away.

Well that made Bella angry for a moment. She wasn't planning on 'throwing in'. Did it look like she was? But Alice was leaving her, towed by Sam.

So, exhausted, she dug in a little harder, and wasn't long after someone came behind her and grabbed hold. It was a man, strong enough to take her on even though she resisted at first. "Submit," he commanded, and she did then, not liking it so much, his arm under her breasts and him kicking beneath her. He was saving her. Was it Edward? Maybe it was. Was it? Had Edward saved her?

She did not remember much after that, just waking on the barge some minutes later. They drew next to the red and black smoldering skeletons of the two fancy boats, worlds of vice and vain glory crumbling to ash, ghostly before her eyes.

The frames clacked as they fell in on themselves, and into the river that claimed them.

Rings of fire burned on the surface of the water. This couldn't be real. Debris floating and the barge plowing through…then past….

She was aware of stragglers being pulled from the river onto the flat surface where she lay surrounded by others, crying and calling out names, quick, urgent talking about the Queenie carrying fuel and the boilers blowing and the fire catching one boat to the other.

"Alice," she thought she yelled, but a hand kept stroking her hair, and she moved and realized her head rested on someone's leg.

"She's fine," he said…the voice up higher. "You just rest now, Miss."

"Edward," she mumbled, too tired to open her eyes. "Edward," she tried to keep saying, hoping he'd answer. And they drifted…to life…and loss…and a sickly, trembling freedom.

When next she woke the sun was trying to rise. The boat was in port, somewhere upriver from the scene of the tragedy.

Folks were helping Bella on to her feet. Soon as her mind cleared she called for Alice and Edward. She wanted to protest when they told her it would be alright and kept her moving off the barge and onto the dock, toward wagons for taking the survivors to the church where beds and food and doctoring awaited. But Bella had no interest in such without knowing the fate of those two she loved.

"Alice," one of the women supporting Bella's right side said, "…is already at the church." She believed there was an Edward, and soon as Bella reached the church she could see. That did what she supposed they wanted. She cooperated then.

The large man at Bella's other side lifted her in to the wagon. He was dark hair and skin and white teeth and handsome and boyish too. "I'm Jacob," he told her. "I brought you in. Remember?"

He was wrong. "Edward," was all she could say. Where was Edward?

And Jacob sat beside her in the wagon. He'd tried to ask questions, but she didn't give her name. But then, if Edward was looking for her…so, "Bella Marie Cullen," she whispered.

"Well," Jacob said, "that's a fine name."

She cleared her throat. "I need to find Edward," she said with more verve.

"We will, Miss. You traveled with Alice and Edward?"

Bella nodded. She felt something coming alive in her. Well…she was mad. That was it. You'd think surviving would be humbling. But she was just mad.

She could not ask Jacob how many died, but that's all folks worried over now. Seems everyone was asking after someone so she was right at home. Tragic how Edward had been missing before all the rest and now they were all in the same corral.

Soon as they got to the church she bullied her way out of that wagon and did her best to run into the white-washed building. "Edward," she called, long before she hit the door.

"Edward," others took up the cry, and a man came forward, long-legged, blond on top, shirt torn to shreds.

"I'm Edward," he said.

Bella almost hit the floor. "No," she yelled. She turned away, "Edward! Edward Cullen."

"He's not here, Bella," Alice Sue gripped her arm.

She looked more bedraggled than any time, Alice Sue did, standing there, a bruise on her cheek, her hair streaming to her waist, her best clothes tattered as flags flown through a raging battle.

Bella grabbed her in a hug and they cried out loud. Then just as quick she pushed her away. "You and me are through," she said.

"No we ain't," Alice cried, latching on again.

Bella didn't know what to do with her. She was the only one who was nearly kin, the only one who might care a thimble full of something if Edward lived or died.

"Where is he?" Bella sobbed. "Where's Edward?"

"We're not the only ones who made it, Bella. There're more than us. Sam said every boat in the river was taking in the distressed."

"But…," she didn't know what to say anymore. She needed to see him. Right now. She couldn't wait anymore. If he was being held where she thought…the boilers were there…right there…and he couldn't have survived their blasts.

"Where's that Sam? Where is he?" She moved around the church like the Spanish fever had hit. Alice ran after her, trying to calm her down. She couldn't find Sam anywhere, not even with those out back.

Alice stood next to her, Jacob hesitated in the doorway.

"He doesn't know. I asked him. He said Edward got sick. He said he didn't know his fate."

"Got sick? When? How'd he get sick? How did Sam know this?"

"Sam said Edward got sick first night on the boat. After that he didn't see him no more."

"Liar…devil's cull," Bella hissed. "What kind of sick? He was fine when we got on that boat."

"Sam said Edward disappeared. He wasn't on the boat."

"Not on the boat? When did he disappear?"

"First night. First meal. Sam said James was anxious to know Edward and they waited at supper and he never came. Next morning at breakfast he didn't show again. Edward had left instructions we were to be fed and tended to in our room. He paid passage for three and for care in our room for several days. When he didn't show at dinner James sent a servant to Edward's room. His things were there, but he was gone. They searched and couldn't find him. They moved out his things and let the room. They figured he'd lit out or taken up with a woman. That's what he said. And Tonico…he was the one. He wanted us. Especially you." Alice couldn't look at her.

"That lying snake."

"He's gone back to the boats to see if Edward lives," Alice said. "He wants to prove that he's a man we can trust. He's coming back to either bring Edward, or tell us what he finds out."

Bella grabbed Alice Sue's skinny arm. "Understand this, Cope. We are not sitting on our backsides waiting on Mr. Sam or Mr. James or any other river bandit. All we know he'll come back with James and try to rustle us off again."

"He won't. He hates James Tonico much as we do. He said…he wants to help me…he says I got real talent…."

Bella growled. "I will kill y'all first. You hear me you addle-brained…?"

"If I was on that stage…Jasper would love me."

"Listen to me…woodpecker, we are going back to the scene of this disaster and we are going to find Edward. If that rat James Tonico or that coney Sam tries to so much as breathe in our direction…." Bella glanced quickly at Mr. Jacob. Well, he knew her now. She looked back at Alice. "First we will get word to Jasper and ask him to bring us some money and meet us in St. Louis. We'll say we've met trouble and he needs to come at once. I reckon we don't need to worry him unduly…that's if he knows how to worry, but if Mama got wind…. In the meanwhile we are going back to start our search."

"He could be dead Bella. Even I know he wouldn't leave us," she raised her ruined skirts, "and I ain't got but one shoe."

She shook Alice some. "Don't you ever say that again about him being…. You hear me Cope?"

Alice broke away. "Don't shake your horns at me! That hurt!"

"Don't you ever say that again," Bella repeated, through her teeth, finger in the air.

"You got to prepare yourself," Alice said through her teeth.

"I will slap your mouth," Bella warned. Then she realized something and raised her own pathetic skirt. She had no shoes at all.

"Ladies," Jacob interrupted, stepping from his safe perch in the doorway to stand near Bella. "If you are going down river to search for your family…you should not travel alone. I will accompany you."

"No thank you," Alice said.

"You got a rig?" Bella said, arms folding.

"No ma'am. We can find a rig."

"Thank you kindly but we've got no money. We shall have to prevail on the kindness of passers-by."

"Nonsense," Jacob said. "Folks will take us downriver. Boats are already waiting to help."

"But we don't know y'all," Bella said, just pretending to argue, for all that mattered was getting to Edward.

"I'm Jacob Black," he announced, running his hand over his short hair. He wiped that hand on the leg of his pants and extended it to Bella as if she were a man. She did not take his hand, though he'd had his hands all over her in the water, and after, she didn't even know, though she strongly suspected she'd made a pillow of his leg on that barge.

"I am a teacher of Indian Studies at Almira College. I was traveling there for the beginning of the term when our misfortune overcame us on the boat. Might I say I was privileged to see you ladies on the stage and…well I'm honored to have been the one to save you, Miss."

Well Bella could barely speak seeing as such a thing was so coincidental it had to have Divine help. But it was plumb embarrassing to be so obligated to a teacher of all things.

"We are going to that college," Bella said.

"Y'all are, " Alice muttered, but Bella ignored her.

"And…I'm beholding to you for your assistance in the river. But…I was making it just fine."

"Oh, yes Miss. I did not mean I'd saved you. It was my greatest privilege to assist I should have said."

That made her feel some better. Only one man had saved her in a river…one time…and kind as this fellow seemed…there was just the one.

"This man who is missing…he is your…?" Jacob asked.

"Brother," Alice said. "Her brother. No kin to me…though he thinks he's my pa."

Annoyed as Bella was by Alice Sue, she was some comforted to hear that one finally speak of Edward as still living. "He is my adopted brother. The finest man who ever lived," she said just to set the pace. "And we shall find him. And if you are inclined to help, Mr. Black…I will not argue. But you should understand, Sir…y'all come by choice. I have not asked. And once we get to school…I will expect no special favor. Nor will I give such. So we are clear." It had to be. Being locked in that room…it had changed her.

"Of course, Miss. You must feel no obligation. I am your servant. Nothing more."

She gave him her hand and they shook then. He did have the brightest smile. And she had not felt such hope…in many days.

"The Lord will reward you then. And…that must be enough," she said, belaboring, she knew.

"Of course, Miss. Of course," he said pumping her hand with both of his own.

And that is how they came to head back to the scene of the disaster to find Edward Cullen.


	21. Chapter 21

Love Like a Hurricane 21

The dead lay in a long line along the wharf. Oddly, their feet were the most difficult. Like Bella and Alice, many had lost their shoes, but even still, boots told so much about a person's soul, and she had always loved Edward's…shaped like his feet, and all the burdens he carried, and all the miles he walked and rode…there, in the leather, well a man wore it, the soft and the shine, it became his skin after a while...his way in this world and she was making herself look, and what she saw broke her down, but if she saw Edward's boots so still in this solemn line…well God save her she would lie beside him and cling to what remained.

And the small feet, they were the hardest of all. The river was cruel…and sudden fire like a dragon's mouth open and hungry for death had forced these into a watery grave.

Buzzards flew overhead and black crows caw, caw, cawed. The sky could not find its blue and so a grayness hovered and buried them in this sorrow.

Folks were still fishing bodies. Houseboats crowded the wharf, having picked up a body floating in the current somewhere down river…a woman, they said, her floating on her face. And sad as it was, all Bella knew was thank God, and she said that in her heart for it was not Edward. Not yet. And was he by the boilers as she feared…he'd be one of those you couldn't recognize.

For some of the dead were burned and those, like Bella, who had not found their loves…they denied these black and boiled ones who could be…them.

But others…the feet were the best way to know, and Bella looked no higher than the feet. Not even when she saw those familiar red shoes, not even then could she spare a gasp.

Survivors were eager to take their loved ones, but it wasn't allowed without information being added to the growing list of the dead. And so some wrote and others spoke and spoke and…spoke the names, in brave notes…in cracked and crumbling notes. "Sarah, Susan, Matthew, Corine, Etta, Borigard, Gerald, Thomas…." And so…and so.

"Well he's not here," Bella said…but oh, she spoke too soon, for they laid another on the end, two men each holding two corners of a blanket and a big man weighty in its sling. She saw then, not his boots, his feet, and she fell down, and she touched that cold foot nearest, and even still the shattering bolt of lightning ran straight into her soul and her heart stopped and started hard with the sound in her ears like one of the boilers blowing sky-high.

It was him.

And Alice was behind, her hand on Bella's shoulder gripping hard. "Stay back," Alice yelled at someone, Bella did not know who, didn't care who or what. An Oriental yelled in an Asian tongue, going on. And Bella tore her eyes away from Edward's feet and she rose up then and that young boy was going on, and his mama came then, pants wearing and smoking a pipe. She spoke to Jacob around the long curved stem, pointing at a houseboat moored near the dock.

The boy said, "Edward," in a drawn out way, and Bella felt her nails in her palms as she listened. But she heard it then, the man on the ground…that thin croak…but beautiful still…like hosanna…her angel…his voice.

"Bella," he said.

She turned then, her gaze a slow crawl up this man's bare legs, and him wearing just some rags over his privates, and dirty and thin in his belly and his flat wide chest, and his face then, cheeks so bearded, lips cracked red and eyes sunken.

"Bella," he said, his shaking hand lifting.

And she fell on the ground beside him and the one beside…dead and her hands went to his burning face. "Oh my God," she said. "Oh…my love."

He tried to speak and she saw the dry swollen tongue.

"Water," she called out and Alice echoed, and a canteen was shoved in her hands and she tenderly lifted his head and let the water spill into his mouth and he coughed weak and swallowed some, or tried to, but his eyes kept trying to settle on her, his sick eyes that spoke death.

"Oh God, Edward Cullen," Alice said on her knees the other side of him, gripping his arm. "Don't you dare die on us now, hear? Don't you die you son of a…oh my God, Edward Cullen."

Bella handed that canteen to Alice as she gently laid Edward's head down.

"Get him out of this line," she yelled out, looking over her shoulder for those lining up the bodies. "He ain't dead. He ain't dead," she said, her voice full of tears but her eyes dry and riveted on him.

"Don't you die," Alice was telling him again, and his eyes never left Bella.

Bella heard the word being said, passed around, and they came for him. He'd have to be put off by himself.

"They say cholera," Alice said to Bella.

Someone was telling Jacob, Edward would have to be quarantined, but as the men lifted him onto a stretcher and the filthy rags over his privates fell away. He was naked now, for all the world, and Bella ran to keep up and grabbed his hand. He tried to hold tight and she could feel how weak.

"You're gonna be alright now, you hear me?"

He didn't answer, but his sick eyes were open enough she knew he kept them on her.

"Miss," someone said, "you gonna have to move away."

"I ain't moving," she said, her voice so deep she didn't know it. "I ain't leaving this man."

He put some pressure on her hand then, and she felt the tremor in it, in him, and she was with him now. Forever now. Forever.


	22. Chapter 22

Love Like a Hurricane 22

Two men hauled Edward by stretcher to a company owned cabin several river-men used by turns. It was empty now. The man whose turn it was to use it lay dead on the wharf.

Bella walked beside the stretcher, her hand over Edward's. Touching him was hope and fear. He was alive…but for the first time…he was the babe brought home. He was the one needing protected. He was the one needing her.

Alice and Jacob followed, and behind them the woman, Suan, who along with her husband and son had fished Edward from the river and kept him alive.

Suan was agitated it seemed, carrying on, her words chopped, shredded and skewered. Well they'd gone through this with the Indians many a time, but usually they could piece enough to make some sense…Edward could…and Jasper…he had an ear for other tongues.

The boat boy, Po, came running holding a long-necked green bottle. His mother took this then seemed inclined to force it on Bella. Bella understood this was Edward's glass teat. She felt, in the hand-off, she had received all responsibility for Edward's fate. Suan kept shaking her hands, as if they were lighter, as if she was free.

But it was the boy's broken English Jacob patiently seemed to discern. "They fished him from the river days back," he said as the menfolk carried Edward over the narrow threshold and placed the stretcher on the floor beside a well-used cot. They took the corners of the blanket and lifted Edward's long length onto the bed then. He lay there for all the world, too weak to cover himself or care it seemed, though his eyes, when open, searched languidly for Bella she knew, and she felt a building fury he should be in this state…and seen by all.

She fumbled right out of her torn and worn petticoat, and the menfolk looked away as though ashamed, but she cared not. She put the ragged garment over Edward's middle, shrouded him…an invalid… and she alone knew who he was…how strong and fierce…she alone knew how far he'd have to go…to come out of this tomb…to resurrect.

The stretcher bearers left them, one of them saying as he went out the door, "Won't be long for him."

"You're wrong," Bella said sternly. Nay-sayers could go straight to hell.

Jacob was back in the doorway translating, "Po says clean water in the bottle, sugar and salt mixed in, two pinches every time you refill. Your brother has to have this without stop, much as he'll take. Boy says to keep him washed and don't give him the white man poison called calomel. Po says if you keep the clean water going in and mix the sugar and salt, he has a half-chance at life…but it's sunrise to sunrise…no sleep."

Bella calmed enough to feel gratitude. She went back outside to thank the two for nursing Edward. She folded her hands and bowed, and that's all she had to give. Jacob stayed with them, intent on learning all he could it seemed.

The menfolk had hurried away as folks didn't like to share the air with those who had cholera, if this is what Edward had. If it was she knew it moved swift and terrible and he'd lived longer than most. But Suan had given her some hope, at least, and she couldn't believe God had given her Edward just to snatch him away again.

Yet…there were plenty of others on the wharf living what she feared, and dead bodies to prove this wasn't heaven, not even close.

The cabin was small and bare.

"Bella, tell me what to do," Alice Sue entered saying, watching Bella start to gather the few utensils this cabin offered so she could send the girl for water.

"Get me some water for drinking and wiping him down," Bella told Alice.

"I'm scared for him," Alice said. "For us all if we catch it."

"You got to stay out. I need your help but not your fear. And don't you run off or he gets better I'll come and beat you home," she said, tears springing for she didn't mean to be cross but she could not stand another threat.

"Get food and water…a fire going outside and prevail on folks for bedding. He soils it's going to the fire."

"Mama said always burn sick bedding if it's death sick, and this is," Alice agreed.

"Alice," Bella stopped a moment, "don't say that word in here. Don't say it at all." She was sick of folks speaking death like Edward couldn't hear.

Alice nodded, her eyes going from Edward to Bella. "You're going to do this, Bella. You're the strongest person I know."

"I'm not strong, Alice," Bella whispered. "I'm committed. Now…get."

"You can count on me…hear?"

"Go on, then." Bella said, not able to hold Alice's gaze. She didn't want words, she wanted deeds. She was just as scared…for Edward. Terrified, in fact, but it was no time to stand and talk. "I need salt and sugar. Go for it, too. Then get word to Jasper to come here, not St. Louis."

That was all she had to say. She was looking for clean rags then. She felt so dizzy of a sudden she had to catch herself on the one chair. She had not had real sleep or something more to eat than a bite of this or that in two days. She had been threatened, imprisoned and nearly drowned, and that did not count her time on the stage.

She went to him. Two steps was all it took. She took that bottle, some left in it, and she gently lifted Edward's head, but she could not maneuver well. She laid him back down and searched for something to pillow his head, but there was nothing so she went back to lifting his head for now and letting that water trickle through his lips. He swallowed some and her heart just soared. "That's it," she said. "Take it in…it's life…it's life. That's how you have to think on it for now." She'd said this cheerful as she could as she dabbed at his lips with her petticoat.

Then he swallowed some more and his eyes were closed now, and drinking seemed to exhaust him.

He was weak…and so was she. And that's when God could help the most cause all that would fix things…was a miracle.


	23. Chapter 23

Love Like A Hurricane 23

Bella was barely aware of the day's passing then. There was only Edward. Jacob and Alice had brought her the things she asked for, and she asked Alice to wait outside. Then she sent her off. They'd argued, but she didn't want to risk the spread, if it was Cholera.

In the cabin was a stove with a flat top, and she got that going, and she was able to boil water and dilute that with a bucket of cold. There was a chunk of brown soap and she ran the rag first over his hair. Suan and Po had kept him alive, but there'd been no extras it seemed.

She thought of how he'd been when he came home from the trail, she remembered that. Modest. Not modest…proper, with her. As if…he could corrupt her…he was so careful. Too careful. But he could trust her now, he didn't need to hold himself away.

He smelled like a river low and sick, fish dying along the bank. She carefully put a towel under his head and tried to feed him the water from his bottle, done up fresh. She succeeded again. He swallowed three mouthfuls. He looked at her, but she didn't know if he was awake, not really.

Then he tried to ask, "Bella?"

"I'm with you," she said soft. Maybe he didn't know what was real. She was real.

She sang then, while she washed his hair, snippets of a ballad he'd brought home from the drive and taught her and Mama. "Oh come along boys, please listen to my tale, I'll tell you all my troubles on the old Chisolm Trail, Come ti-yi youpy, youpy, ya, youpy yay, Come ti-yi youpy, youpy, yay."

She knew he liked that chorus, and he didn't smile, but he blinked some at her. She laughed, but it led to fresh tears so she wiped her eyes on the arm of her new borrowed dress made of a thin gray flannel and she sniffed and wet the rag. She picked up that soap and made lather on her hands, and she ran her hands in his hair then, all through, rubbing his scalp, and she sang it again, all she remembered.

She remembered him singing it, on the breezeway back home…he was so strong…wasn't anything could touch him…so she thought.

Now she'd seen what he'd look like dead. Now she knew.

She worked the rag over his hair, over and over. He had the thickest hair, Mama said that, different from Jasper and Seth. Different from her and her…Indian hair. Macey's words. And that Tonico…. And she wondered where Macey was, and pushed that away quick. She had to keep her mind on Edward now.

She got the soap out best she could with the rag and the water was brown and then she rinsed the rag good and freshened the water and carefully wiped over his face, beard and all. He was feverish. And to feel the deep weakness in him, she could now and it was frightening.

Mama would say to let herself get a strong notion of the sickness though. Mama would lay her hands on…and she'd pray. And then she'd know how deep it ran…the sickness and she'd have chased it…to God.

Bella touched Edward with this same reverent sense. She cupped his face, his jaw, more well drawn than any man's, and she didn't want him to hide that jaw in a beard, but he would sometimes, just to tease her she thought. She kept her hands there and let his sick heat flow into her cold palms, the tips of her fingers. It took courage to know. But the truth, harder in the moment…led to something good down the road. It always did, her mama said. Ignoring truth was like ignoring the sun, and wondering where the heat came from, and the light, and telling yourself it was a candle, or a spark, or a fire, reducing it to something you thought you could handle, and loving the lie…and hating it.

She asked God to heal Edward, to let his blood flow clean, to let the water make him new…to wash him…deep in where it lurked…where it squatted…and stole his strength…the sick.

He was looking at her then. "Good," he whispered.

She dunked her hands in the cool water sitting there by the bedside and she placed them on his temples. "You are getting well now," she said up close to him. "You take in that cool water, you feel it going in. It's gonna make you well," she said, and the emotion got her and she had to still, but he was looking at her, and her at him.

And she leaned in and touched her nose to his. Then she kissed his nose and she pulled back. He was still looking at her. She could see the green in there, sick as it was, like the green folded under the winter earth, ready to sprout. He was fighting.

His hand lifted, then flopped back to the bed. She took it in hers and wove their fingers together.

Then his eyes slid closed, and she kissed his hand and laid her cheek against it. "I love you," she whispered. She was that way…that hand…until someone walked close to the cabin. But they did not knock, they left something on the porch and went on. She laid Edward's hand on his stomach. He appeared to sleep. On the porch, she found a pail of soup, and a loaf of bread.

She took in the food and commenced to washing Edward, his neck. She lifted his head and ran the rag on the back of his neck…and she remembered…oh so many times…on the saddle behind him, his back, his neck and shoulders, her arms around him, her cheek against his back, and the smile in her heart. When she was with him…the world was right. Even when it wasn't…war, Indian threat…cholera…even then…it was right…if he was near. And if she could touch him…it could all go to hell then. She didn't care…if he was near.

She lifted each shoulder and ran the rag behind. She washed his hand first, then his arm, then beneath it. She did the other.

She washed his stomach, the empty gurgle, the sick inside, the petticoat lay on the floor now but she had covered his privates with a wet rag. Then she washed his legs. Lastly his feet.

She lifted the rag from his privates. He was the first man she'd seen except for Seth sometimes when he was little, so she knew how it set up, but this was Edward, and grown. She wrapped him in a torn length of muslin, a loincloth of sorts.

When she was finished she took flannel from the pile and made the bed fresh as she could. She covered him with a worn blanket, and she kept the cool water on his temples, when she wasn't holding the bottle to his lips. And she sang, most of what she could remember that he favored. And she kissed his hands sometimes. And she prayed.

Hours later she'd rebraided her hair and checked that small pan of soup she'd kept on the stove. She planned to try and get some broth in him, but she feared it might do more harm than good. So she kept on with the water, and woke up on a pallet on the floor and did not know how she got there.

Jacob Black was in her place, tending Edward. She sat up feeling sore and nauseous. "How long…." She wanted to know how long she'd been out, but the question died in her throat.

"It's nightfall. Four hours by guess."

Well she did not want to be so beholding to Mr. Black, and Cholera…one did not get close to it without terrible risk.

"You should bed down somewhere else. I can take over now," she said rising off the floor and straightening the too big dress. She wasn't wearing a corset and was a bit self-conscious, but with the dress so loose she should be well hidden.

She was horrified she'd slept. Eating was another thing she'd overlooked. Jacob had put a cloth over a plate Alice had brought her earlier, and there was more. Folks had heard their story and with the tragedy, folks helped one another.

"Eat something, Miss," Jacob said.

"How is he?" she asked first having to look at Edward.

Jacob held up the bottle so she could see. It was nearly empty.

"Oh," she couldn't hide her delight. "Thank you, Jacob."

He had a beautiful smile. "You're welcome," he said, and she heard his happiness.

It was hard to send Jacob away. "I'm not allowing Alice in here," she said. They couldn't take the risk.

"She is with a decent family."

"I have told her she can help the most by getting us what we need to take care of our invalid."

Jacob had said, "Our invalid." She appreciated his kindness, but Edward was hers only. "You have done too much already. You must go as well…take care of yourself. I can tend to Edward."

"But you're worn out."

"I insist. You have to find shelter and you need to continue your journey. They'll be expecting you at the school."

"Do you really think I'm going to leave you and Alice here, Miss Bella? With your brother in this state?"

"You must go on. My brother Jasper will come. Alice and I will be well looked after."

"I will go when your brother Edward is better. I couldn't live with myself if I stranded you here."

"Jacob…," Bella argued.

"Please eat your dinner, Miss Bella. You have to stay strong or you'll fall ill yourself."

"If I'm with him…I'm fine."

Jacob stood slowly then. "You have to take care of yourself. You've had a time of it, too."

"Where are you staying," she said, for he was well meaning, a very good man, but there was no explaining how it was with her and Edward.

"Right here, Ma'am. On the porch. Folks know it's hard times. You need help…I'm here."

"Suit yourself," she said, handing him a pile of bedding.

"Got my own, Ma'am. Folks have fixed me up."

"Well…have you eaten?"

"Like a preacher on Sunday."

"Oh. Well…I'll take over then. You get…you get cold…come in and get warm."

"Yes Ma'am. Well…good night then," he said, and he went out.

Bella had been holding her breath. He'd been so uncomfortable around her, it had been painful. Did she look that awful? Probably.

She went to Edward then, touched his forehead, lifted the cover to see if he'd soiled himself. It was only water that ran through him but she couldn't leave him wet.

He was warm, but not the boiling hot she'd felt on him when they'd brought him here. She refilled his bottle and sat there, and he seemed to rouse some, his eyes open, and she leaned over. He was trying to speak, the "B" sound on his dry lips.

"Yes, it's me," she said, her hand on his once more.

"Beautiful," he said.

"No," she argued, though she probably was beautiful in the sense he'd missed her and worried, as she had for him.

She lifted the bottle to his lips and she knew how to hold his head now, how to help him. He worked with her, he swallowed. "That's it," she said like before. "That's it…my love."

There was no stopping them now…her feelings. There was no more pretending.


	24. Chapter 24

Love Like a Hurricane 24

The fever broke on the fourth day and Edward was freezing then. Bella piled all the blankets on him and kept wiping his face and neck as he broke in a sweat.

Jacob had burned the sick bedding that morning and Edward was sweating into the fresh bedding now. Bella lay over him, her arms wide and her cheek against his padded chest. He wasn't as down in himself now, and the fever breaking so powerfully had to mean the cholera was on the run.

Or…he was…dying.

"Oh God," she prayed, her whole life in his heartbeat.

There was nothing more to say. So she repeated those two words…more than the laying on of her hands now. Her body on his. "Oh God."

Was He listening? She was standing, a woman in the path of all the power ever held…she was asking for her two mites back. She was daring to ask again…for more…more than a life of sorrow…roaming…aimless because Edward was in the earth…and her never loved…by the one…meant…the one she carried…in her soul…the one she pined for…in her body…yes…yes.

If God broke Edward…she was broken with him…by him…without him. She reckoned if that's what He wanted…she was done for. But she had to dare to ask Him…Oh God. Don't do it. Don't.

The doctor had visited two mornings back and thought Edward was surely at the end of his ordeal for he'd been sick long enough for the worst to be past. Even still, if this was cholera, and the doctor thought it was, Edward was in an uncommonly long stretch of it. So he wanted to dose Edward with calomel to cleanse his bowels.

Bella refused it. Suan and Po had called it poison.

The doctor was none too happy, called her refusal 'Texan arrogance,' and him having a mind to administer it anyway. He threatened to. He called her a headstrong girl who was apt to get this man killed.

She had raised a ruckus then. "Get out," she'd yelled throwing a bowl and a spoon.

Jacob had intervened and perhaps been the only reason the doctor had backed off. The doctor said there were plenty of good folks needing tending and appreciative and it's possible a woman had not done so poorly toward a man since Eve gave Adam the forbidden fruit.

"This is Eve refusing to do just that," she'd returned.

It scared her some. If Edward died…it was her that killed him. And she'd prayed and here the doctor came. Now was he the answer to her prayer? Or was he the devil himself?

Her hands shook all the time, ever since.

But she was glad for Jacob. "Do you agree with me?" she had asked him.

He wasn't smiling. He grinned. This seemed more frightening as if he'd tried to smile and couldn't quite go through with it. "Mr. Edward seems to be on the mend," he said.

Her reply was shaky, "Guess it's all on me now. Always has been. The doctor doesn't change that. Him and his scripture. Well Satan knows scripture."

"It's alright, Miss. I'm here, too," he said.

"But…you'd of let him have that medicine?" she said.

Jacob just shook his head.

"What if…what if Edward needed that medicine?" she said.

"If you believed that, Miss Bella, I think you would have let the doctor give it."

Well now…that was so.

She knew Suan and Po had kept Edward living through the worst of it. Her Mama did not hold with doctors over those with the healing gift. And Suan had that gift and had passed it to Po, was Bella's guess. They'd told her what to do and blessing was in it for Edward was coming along.

By noon he took broth. He threw it up at first, but he was starving.

She fed him more. And in another hour he took more.

When next he ate, she added some meat chopped very fine.

This time he sat up more and reached for the spoon. "I can do it darlin'," he told her, meaning he could feed himself.

Well there was such kindness between them. And to hear him speak like that, and responding to her like that…well she had to remember to hold her tears…of joy.

She dabbed a cloth at the corner of his mouth as he fed himself. When his movement with the spoon faltered she took the tool from his grasp.

"Don't argue with me," she said soft as she took over. But how happy was she that he could argue with her…nearly.

The broth brought him front and center. He was weak but he was there now, wanting answers for everything.

Where were they? How had they gotten here? Where was Alice? Had she been sick? Had Alice? Why weren't they at school? What day was it? Where had he been? How had he lost a whole week? Why weren't they on the boat? Who owned this cabin? Who was Jacob? And on and on.

She had so much to tell him. First time she let herself think on some of it. And it came charging in.

But what she and Alice had been through would rile Edward and he didn't need such in his feeble state. James Tonico…she could not broach it all now.

"We are here because the boat had a catastrophe. Now I told you enough," she said standing and tidying around him.

Well that bred more questions, and this pursuit of information was his way of being better. He would want to get the reins in his hands soon as he could, she knew.

"Soon as you're better I'll tell you every little thing," she answered.

But he had to know where his clothes were. He wanted dressed.

"You're not ready for that."

"Bella…don't argue with me."

"I am. You don't get to just wake up and take charge like I haven't been taking care of you…for once."

"Get me my duds, my gun and my money," he said pulling himself to a sit and lowering his legs over the side. He looked like hell. Handsome hell. There was no other way to say it. What about all her care? All her sweet words? They were not going to pick up the cause and march on like nothing had changed. He had nearly died and she'd been baring her soul. Now come on!

"Shit," he said, examining his lack of clothes and the way, under his blankets, she'd just covered his privates with a cloth.

"Don't judge it," she said. "We've lost our possessions. Your clothes…well they've brought you some…the folks around here, but I haven't even looked…." She started to rummage through the pile of donated clothing Alice had brought.

"Everything of mine is gone? My money belt? My guns?"

"We…yes. Everything. But you've got your life. So…buck up."

"Shit," he whispered looking around, eyes landing on her. "You're a sight, girl."

"Is that…good?" Well she looked like hell, too.

He swallowed, but didn't answer. Oh, he was boss again. She could see it.

"I don't remember…did I fall in the river?" he said. "They took care of me. That woman…and a boy."

She shook her head.

"You reckon…they took everything?"

"I don't know, Edward. We'll figure it out later."

"Bella Marie…I had your school money in there. Alice's too."

"Don't matter now."

"It matters," he said, and the anguish on his face.

"I don't care."

"I care," he said, and he groaned and held his stomach.

"Settle down. You'll get sick again."

"Move back, honey. I've got to get out of this bed."

She fought with him on it, but he insisted on rising and getting on his feet. He staggered some, but he caught his balance. He held the blanket loosely around his hips. He'd lost so much weight. Yes, she was gawking, but it was nothing more than worry and pain in her mind. He was nearly frail. Her Edward.

"I got some clothes?" he said, as he lost his hold on the blanket and it fell to the floor and he stood there, and she saw the complete loss he'd suffered, his belly so sunken.

"Bella Marie," he said, then he fell back to the bed from weakness. "God Almighty…," he whispered.

She rushed forward to assist him to a laying position, and tried to pull the cover over him, but he pushed at her and stayed sitting. "Honey…let me go. Damn if Mama saw this...me in my damn birthday suit. What I put you through girl…."

He worked the blanket from beneath him and put it over his lap. He was gray now, and sweat broken out. "Honey…get me that pail again."

He lost his supper. Then he apologized.

She was fixing the bottle again. "Here," she said handing it to him. "Drink what you can and you're laying down," she said.

He didn't argue this time. He drank some and tried to hand it to her, but she said, "More."

When he'd taken several swallows he lay back and she helped him straighten his blankets.

"Bella…some pants."

"Alright," she said tiredly. She rooted through the pile and pulled out some men's pants. They were high-water for sure, but not too bad. Maybe an old Yank uniform, she wasn't sure. Edward wasn't exactly vain, but then…he was more vain than these pants would allow. And if they were Yank pants…she didn't know.

She laid them over his blankets.

"I'll put them on myself," he said.

She knew that wouldn't be anytime soon. He was too proud to ask for help, and anyway, she wanted to wait and see if he'd shit himself. So the pants stayed where they were and he fell asleep and she went to her pallet and did the same.

That was the last day he spent in bed. He insisted on getting up first light the next morning and struggling into those britches and a shirt, too.

"I need to sit outside," he said. Edward wanted the outdoors, and he wanted the sun. She knew this. He lived outdoors a good part of the year being a man who chased cattle for a living. He did not believe a body could heal in a house, she knew that.

Well, there she was, so close to him, doing up the buttons on his shirt. He took her arm. "Bella Marie…thank you for all you done, girl."

She sighed and they looked at one another. He raised his hand and touched the backs of his fingers to her cheek. "I see the toll on you…yes…you're still the prettiest rose in Texas. But…you go on and cry if you need to sweet girl."

"Oh Edward," she said. "I thought…." Well, he didn't need to hear how she'd feared he would die. She feared it still.

"Come here, honey," he said, and he pulled her to sit beside him and his arms were around her. "It's alright," he said, his breath not sweet like she knew, but sick and she didn't care, she'd of kissed him if he'd ever allow such. But he was alive, and all her worry wanted to run out her mouth then, and she couldn't do it to him, so it came out her eyes and she boo-hooed.

"Honey," he said after letting her cry a spell and wet his new shirt right over his heart. "Honey…it ain't my time. That's all. Now I'm here and I'm so much better thanks to my girl, and Mama will be so proud."

She cried some more now because he was lapsing into big brother speech, mentioning Mama.

"Edward…you remember what I said?"

"What, Honey? I told you I ain't gonna die. Don't this ordeal prove it? God don't want me. He's putting it off long as He can."

"Be quiet," she said, to stop his pitch more than his words. "I told you how I felt and all. I said it and said it."

"Thank you very much," he said, in that condescending lilt.

"I promised God if he healed you I would marry you."

"You did? Well now…God is used to people making all kinds of promises in the height of battle. He knows we don't mean them."

She stopped crying. "That…is just…if you weren't so frail I would slap you right now."

"You would? Well I ain't frail, Bella. I'm just a little wore out, but you give me a couple of days…."

"Stop it."

"Stop what, darlin'?"

"Stop pretending we ain't in love. Man and woman love."

He stared at her, and she felt terrible, not wonderful at all, but terrible seeing as his color was already like death and now it looked to be several days in the grave.

"Bella…I have already failed you. Do you think I will do it again?"

"Get that sound out of your voice."

He cleared his throat. "What sound?"

"That pretend, righteous sound, like you got all my answers when all you do is lie to yourself and lie to me." She got up, got the toothbrush and some soda, fixed it and took it to him. "Brush," she said.

He took the brush and the cup of water and set to scrubbing. When he took a drink he stuck the brush in the cup and thanked her.

"Kissing sweet," she said with mockery.

He grabbed her wrist. "I know it's been…base. I know it. We're…you're familiar with me…and I'm a damn hog in the mud and I know it. But…we've got to get back to where we were."

"No thank you," she said coldly.

He closed his eyes a minute. "Bella Marie…I can't argue with you now. You want to be mad at me, you go on. I owe you everything. I don't blame you a bit for being angry."

She pulled her arm free, then went to the door, yanked it wide and asked Jacob to come inside. Jacob had been sleeping, but he obediently scrambled to his feet and came in.

"Can you help Edward outside please, Jacob?"

Jacob shook hands with Edward and Edward thanked him for his help.

Jacob assisted Edward and he sat in the chair out there, in the chill.

This was against Bella's wishes but she took his water outside, in a regular cup now, and she had him drink some.

Then he asked Jacob if he had a smoke.

"You are not smoking," she said. "And Jacob does not have the foul habit anyway."

She could tell Edward thought she was too bossy, but she couldn't stop. She wouldn't, either.

Edward asked some questions and Jacob told him who he was and all. He was used to hearing Jacob in the cabin, but he hadn't been well enough to inquire, she knew, or he surely would have. To have had no say must have been hardest of all on him, for she'd never known a time when Edward Cullen had let down, not for a minute, and to be swept off into cholera and to fail his post, well she knew what was coming. He'd never forgive himself, and he'd want her to understand how regretful he felt, and it would be as exhausting as the cholera to watch what he'd do to himself now, but self-loathing would be a safe camp and he'd tether himself to it as a way to keep her from speaking of love.

He was talking to Jacob about the disaster. She tried to signal Jacob that he should still, but he answered all of Edward's questions, more than Christ himself had the sense to answer upon his arrest, but Jacob Black must of thought it his duty to tell this nosey man every detail.

She went inside and tried to clean the room, gather the bedding for another burn at least. She took this out and Jacob insisted the burning was his job, and she had walked to the place where he made the fire and she dumped everything there. He came along then and she hissed, "I didn't want him knowing about the boat."

Then she apologized quickly for she'd said it too sternly. "I'm tired," she said. "I'm sorry."

Old Hawk Eyes watched from the porch. He'd turn his thousand questions into two thousand before he was through for the more he asked the more he'd think to ask. Right now he was asking himself how it was with her and Jacob, them together all this time and seeming familiar enough to have an argument at the fire site. He'd wonder then how she felt about Jacob, like this had been a time of sparking and swooning while he lay dying. Oh, she knew him.

She was surprised at how mad she was. Howling mad. She was grateful he lived, but now that he did…she just might have to kill him.

Edward had worn himself out by supper time. He ate lightly, but she was thrilled that he took in bread soaked in milk. He was lying in bed now, snoring some.

So it was heaven to be able to think of herself now. She set a pan of water on the table and added a smaller pan of hot from the stove. She stripped off that big dress then. There was a calico more her size, and a chemise and petticoat. There were drawers and a couple of old corsets. She'd see.

So she turned the nob on the door to lock it and pulled the coarse curtain tight on the window and set the lamp low and there she was in drawers and chemise, and she shook out her hair and she cut some of that soap and wet her hair and worked soap on her hands and for a long time, bent over that pan she worked on her long, thick tresses, soaping them good and rinsing her hair in the pan.

When her hair was done, she wrapped it in some toweling and commenced to soaping her arms and under and she did work a rag over them, and rinsed, then the rag under her chemise, over her chest and stomach. She looked over at him then, and he was laying there eyes closed, but he was no longer snoring. Well who cared.

She washed her legs then, raising the leg on her drawers so she could reach high, and her back to him and other side of the table, she got everywhere private, and set that pan on the floor and stood in it to clean her feet.

When she was done she kept her back to Edward, but she changed her chemise and put on the petticoat and changed her drawers. Well she stuck her laundry in the pan to soak.

Oh Lord she was new. She tidied and made her pallet up fresh. Then she grabbed the comb and sat on the chair and worked the knots out of her hair, and it curled around her finger and she felt wonderful.

She took a look at him again and he was just looking at her, looking, his eyes so green.

"Since you're awake, reckon you should drink a little," she said.

"I'll," and he gulped there, "just have to piss," he said.

"Well that's good," she said, all cheerful now.

She took his water to him, right there in her underclothes. He took that cup slow and shifted to sit and he kept his eyes on her while he drank. When he was finished, for he drank it all, he handed her the cup and soon as she took it he grabbed her wrist. "Bella Marie…," he said.

She waited for more, but this look, well she had not seen that green, and now it had sprouted again, it was there burning into her.

"You shouldn't do this," he said, meaning her underclothes and how she'd washed in front of him.

She lifted her chin. "I wanted you to see."

"I didn't look," he said, but he was looking.

"Liar."

"What are you doing?" he rebuked her.

"Living. I'm living now."

He let her go and breathed a long sigh. "Of course you are. I'm…sorry girl. You got no hope of privacy. I'm…I'm so sorry. Just…pay me no mind, girl. I ain't myself. Forgive me darlin'. Tomorrow I'll…tomorrow…."

Her hand went to her hip. He looked right there, then quickly away. He had some color now and it wasn't from just sitting on the porch.

"I don't forgive you," she said.

"What?"

"I won't forgive you…for pretending you don't see me."

"I see you," he countered all aghast.

"I mean me," she said. "I mean…this," she swept her hand over her length. "I ain't ashamed. Other men notice…believe me."

"What?" he said. "What happened? Were you trifled with?"

She swallowed hard. "Don't you jump saddle to saddle. You know what I'm saying."

"I don't know other men admire you? I think I know that, Bella."

"I don't mean just Paul…or the hands. I mean…on that boat. On this trip. I am not a little girl to other men."

"I know that, Bella. I don't need anyone to tell me you're grown."

She leaned over now and he pulled back. She knew her bosom showed some. She put her hands on the bed. "I'm a woman."

"You…got the parts…I know that." He looked scared to death. First time she'd ever seen it.

"That's right."

"Bella Marie….back away and get on your nightdress and go on to sleep. You're worn out."

"Don't you talk to me like that."

"Like what?" he whispered frantic.

"You're stalling."

"I'm getting really upset. You're going to be upset too…when you settle down."

"I have been upset already. I have been…furious. Kiss me."

He made a sound…of fearful dread. "Bella Marie…I love you with all my heart, girl. But you will listen to me or I'll have to get out of this cabin. Now honey…go on over there. We won't say a thing about this…."

She leaned closer to him. He went from fearful to angry. She saw him try to toughen it up, then. She wasn't buying it.

"Kiss me," she said, closer to his face. His mouth, she wanted it.

"I…can't," the mouth said.

"Hold very still," she whispered as she leaned in, placing her lips against his. Dear God. She fell onto him, her arms going around his neck, her breasts angling to come in for a hug.

He had his hands on her ribs. But he was allowing their lips to stay sealed. His were not moving, but his breath was coming hard and fast. He moved her back, a surprising strength showing up in his arms.

"Bella Marie," he said, then to her surprise he pulled her forward and her lips crashed against his and her hands went in to his wild hair. She made a lolling sound and so did he, and she could feel a hammering, her heart or his or theirs, and he went back some, then more and they fell flat, her on top and her breasts were crushed on him, finally, and the feel of it, "Oh God," she said, this time more of a hallelujah then a please, more declaration that there was joy in this life, just joy.

His mouth had opened and hers followed and tongues were touching now and his hand had moved to the back of her head and he…was…on…fire. She could feel the heat coming off him, and it was not the sick fever…it was lust she reckoned, and she was going under…losing herself in a hundred feelings.

He broke away and she was still seeking his lips and realized he was saying her name, albeit in a breathy voice with no self-righteousness at all in its breathy sound.

"Bella Marie, I…Bella I'm so sorry…I can't lose….I lost….I lost…Bella…," then he was kissing her again, and she was crawling against him and flattening herself on him again, almost hysterical in her mind, like she could not get close enough.

"Darlin', darlin'," he was saying, leaving her bereft of his lips once more, and why oh why did he feel the need to keep talking?

She got on her knees, in between his legs and got over his lap then, and her face was more poised over his and she could descend on him now, just devour him, and she did pretty much, until he pushed her back some after huffing like he had consumption and not the tail end of cholera.

"Bella…my heart…."

She was going to kill him. She had said she wanted to but she hadn't meant it. He was frail, even though he was raring to go. Finally. But she had to have some self-control.

"Now," she said, "do you admit it?"

He kept huffing as he looked at her. There'd been little between them, some thin clothes. He'd pretty much grown familiar.

"I admit that I'm a son of a bitch lusting after his sister…wanting his own sister. I admit they ought to take me out of here and stone me."

She got off of him then and stood. She didn't say anything. "I don't want to hear such, Edward. Not now…and not in the morning when you're going to want to punish yourself so I know how regretful you are."

"I'm not regretful," he said. "You just gave me the best ten minutes of my existence. I know it's wrong. I know I should be horse-whipped. But I have never…and I have known women, Bella. Not a lot…well four times. You should know that. But with you…I love you, that's never been the trouble. I love you and…I ain't known what to do about it."

"I know, Edward. Trust me, then." Oh, she was Eve.

"Bella Marie…I need the bucket." He moved quick and set her aside and went for the bucket himself. He heaved over it a few times, but nothing came up thankfully. This wasn't exactly what she'd hoped to inspire.

He was laughing over the bucket then, then he rolled onto his backside and his hands behind him on the floor he took to laughing out loud. Bella expected Jacob to knock on the door, but he didn't.

Edward ended up holding his face. He sat this way for a few minutes. Then he looked up to see if she was still waiting and she was. "Good night Bella," he said. "You take the bed tonight."

He crawled to her pallet and flopped down. He turned away from her, laying on his side. She sat there and looked at him for a long time. Finally she laid her head down and all too soon it was morning.

First thing she said was, "Edward?" But he wasn't on the pallet or in the cabin. He was better. He was driving the herd again. He would likely find them passage now. He would be determined to get rid of her soon as he could.

But she would not make it easy. She'd broken through the whited wall. Edward Cullen wasn't leading anyone. Edward Cullen was on the run.


	25. Chapter 25

Love Like a Hurricane 25

God Almighty…God Almighty.

What was that scripture story…the one with the fella who lusted after his sister…then played sick to lure her into his room and while she tended him…he raped her.

Well…how was he better? Shit-fire.

Edward drew deep on the smoke he'd been given the fixings for. Folks pitied him. They did at the store. He assured them he was not a Yankee, no matter the pants. He assured them he was over the 'coal-ra,' as they called it round here like it was something grown in the garden. He'd had an extra-long run and he'd come off that long black train. Period.

Well he'd seen some things while he'd been near to dead. Pa had come. Pa had told him to carry on, but he didn't say he was proud and Edward thought he'd been asking, demanding, but Pa just looked at him like he'd said his piece and Edward needed to get to it.

And Grampa showed too, but he hadn't spoken, just glared some like he could…still mean in death.

And an Indian once…squaw…couldn't tell the tribe. She'd pointed a spear at him. She looked damned unhappy, like he had something belonged to her. Probably land. Or maybe he'd killed her son. Or her husband…brother. He didn't know…but mad didn't cover it. He'd been screaming in the dream…or in whatever happy hunting ground he'd touched on. That gal wanted him dead.

Bella…he'd seen her plenty…in those addled dreams he had. When he'd seen her truly, he had not known she was real. But after last night…she was real. Lord, she was real.

He sucked down that smoke and it was just the thing. Shot of whiskey with it wouldn't be bad either. He held out his hand and he had the shakes. He felt a weakness…but she'd made him feel more. Bella pulled out something strong in him. She always had. If not for her…he'd be half the man he thought he was. Yet…she could bring out the worst. He'd told her of his love…and he'd loved on her…not that brotherly way, God no. He'd loved on her. And he didn't know if it could all go back now…if he could.

How was he going to go from here…with Bella?

And he had plenty more to ponder. Like, how the hell had he ended up in that river? He'd abandoned those girls. He'd left them to fend and they could have been killed when that tub exploded. Lord, God, they were as much a resurrection story as he was.

Maybe that did change things. Maybe that meant something could be different. Now they lived…maybe they were meant to see this as a new start. Those girls had taken care of themselves, least enough to get out of that water, though they'd had help, and he didn't like it all that much, but he was grateful too. Better alive and tied to their saviors than dead and tied to Pa and Grampa…and that angry squaw.

But that Jacob…Indian. Edward wasn't fooled. Course he was drawn to Bella, who would not be drawn to such a one as his Bella? But that Jacob Black could never be in the running. Oh no. Bella ran to brown from all the sun and her dark hair, folks misunderstood. That Black better not be confused about it. Edward figured he'd come back from the dead just in time. The coyotes were circling. And howling.

He knew a man sniffing around, and Black had Bella in his sites. He didn't hang around cholera because he was a good old Samaritan. Exposure to cholera was the price Black was willing to pay to be around Bella. Now that showed a whole bucket full of intentions. That man fancied her…that man dared think he was in love.

He'd helped her in the river…and she was not beholding. Edward took note to make sure he understood that. He'd have a talk with Black so he could get a read on it. That one needed to understand how it was. They got to that school he was to stay away from Bella Marie. She didn't need to study no Indians. She'd had plenty of Black's kind in Texas.

Then the more Edward thought on it…what kind of school were those Methodists running? Indian teachers. Indian studies. They could come with him to the ranch. That would be some firsthand Indian studies all right, especially when those braves took their new supply of hostages down to the border come spring. Now that would be some real Indian studies.

Well he finished that first smoke right quick. He had a brain he'd take these girls back home where things made sense. Enemy came right for you. That's if you had the luck and the pluck to see him skulking. Trying to steal your cattle, trying to steal your horses, trying to steal your kinfolk, trying to get you off your land…steal your life. Oh damn, Texas wasn't no picnic, either.

And they couldn't just go back to Texas and carry on now…could they? She said they could not. She called him liar and…righteous…and damn she was mad at him. He tried to pretend now…she wasn't going to stop.

One thing for sure…things were working…below the waist. His sick-worn body was going where his heart already was like it was fit as a pup. And his mind—she was dug in so sound his thoughts played it through, that ten minutes of sin and bliss…his memory was branded with the feel of her lips, her breasts, her skin and her smell of sweet soap and that rich perfume came off her naturally, always something different about her he could not get his fill of. But in his arms, she was perfect, fit him like special made. And her breaths and sounds and slamming heart….

And watching her washing herself…was there ever a sight? Never, glowing in that candle light, her warm flesh…and the grace in the way she moved. He had looked…and looked…and then he didn't need to…he could feel it…feel her…even now.

He could not give her away now. How could he? He wanted…God he bled with want.

There was so much fire in that woman. Well he didn't know a thing. He thought he did, those four times with those kind-hearted mutts could tell a man what it was worth, a nickel, a dollar, and it was just worth that, they weren't lying at all.

But Bella Marie…not enough gold in the hills of California…in the streams and rivers of Alaska…in the throne room of heaven…not enough gold to pay for what she'd offered him. That kind of woman…you gave her your life. That's all would do. And you lived knowing you didn't deserve her, even as you tried to. And she loved you for it. Your effort. And it made you into a man.

Why did he confess those others to her? Why in the world would that come out of a man's mouth? It had to be the sickness that turned him in to a weak-minded fool.

On the other hand…he'd no right to cross that line with Bella. He should have been strong. He knew…if Jasper saw him…Mama…Seth. Shame. Didn't make sense God had spared him…not that he wasn't grateful…but he couldn't say he deserved it.

He couldn't think on this anymore. Where in hell was his money? His guns?

He went to the temporary office of the river commissioner and filled out the paper concerning all he'd lost. Unlike so many others, the commissioner informed him he should be grateful he didn't have to list the names of his loved ones. Well he knew that.

He was given a stipend, credit at the store for himself and the girls. They could buy enough to sustain them on their journey. The next boat through that took passengers was due that evening. He signed for three. Most the others were long gone. But he'd been sick.

Black would have to sign for himself. He wasn't taking on more responsibility and he figured he owed that one nothing as Bella's company and obvious adoration had been more than he deserved.

Well he was still hanging at the store, rolling another smoke when someone kicked his foot. It knocked his smoke into the wind and he was thinking what the hell, but he saw the boots and hell no. He stood and looked up that long form, those long skinny legs and that big buckle and the shirt and bandana and that worn coat, and the strong health in his shoulders and neck, and that yellow beard and strong face under that hat.

"How did you…?" he said before throwing his arms around Jasper.

They'd only sent the wire days back, well Alice had, Bella said.

Jasper was no hugger. He pushed Edward back, but kept his hands on Edward's shoulders. "What happened to you?"

Edward kept gripping Jasper's arms, solid as fence posts. "How are you here?"

"I been coming on," he said. "For Alice."

Edward knew his mouth was open.

"Her Mama," Jasper said.

"What?" Edward.

"Died in her bed right after Alice…left."

"Hell you say."

Jasper had enough touching. He pulled back. "I heard there was an accident ahead when I left New Orleans."

"Alice and Bella were in that."

"They fine?"

"They are fine," Edward assured him.

"Let me see them," Jasper said.

"How you come here?"

"Y'all's names were published in the paper as being on one of those boats. They told me to come here…most the dead…were brought here."

Jasper had been worried. You wouldn't know it to look, but Edward saw that lip sucking he did when he was agitated.

"We're all living. How'd you come up?"

Well he'd come on a small barge bringing cotton up the river.

"How's Mama? Seth?"

"Fine and dandy."

"Jenks?"

"Better than you think."

"You bringing Alice home?"

"I don't know," Jasper said.

"Well I had me a time with that Alice Sue."

"What you do to her?"

"Nothing!" Edward said, with sudden guilt. Well he'd deserted them, then left them to fend for themselves when the boat went up. Then he'd kissed and fondled their sister. Well he had some nasty guilt.

They heard her then. Alice Sue screamed Jasper's name. She was coming on, looking cute as a bug in someone's dress, red checked, and a too big coat and a bow in her curly hair. She was running and just as light as a wisp she leapt in to Jasper's arms.

He scooped her up and twirled her around. He had his easy going face buried in her hair for a minute but Edward saw the way he squeezed his eyes so tight.

Jasper had feelings for Alice. He'd been pretending all along. Maybe it was in their blood.

Jasper set her down easy, like she was precious. She had a million questions and he was laughing, patient.

"Well…let's say howdy to Bella Marie and we can talk about home," he said. A couple of locals had come out of the store to see the commotion.

Alice was studying Jasper. She smiled a little, but looked at Edward then. "Howdy, Edward. Look at you standing in…those Yankee pants and all. Guess you're better now."

"Guess so," he said, of a sudden so sad for her he felt a lump in his throat.

"What's wrong?" she asked him. She grabbed on to Jasper's arm and leaned her head against him. "Can you believe this? Jasper's here!"

Jasper was telling Alice how he'd been following.

"For me?" she asked, all the innocent hope in the world.

"Course," Jasper said, his face leaning close to hers.

"You mean it?" Alice asked. "You mean it, Jasper?"

"Well…I do," he said slow.

Alice jumped a little. "You come to fetch me to Texas?"

Jasper seemed to grow more and more uneasy. He wanted to find Bella, he said, so Edward and Alice led him to the cabin. Edward was filled with dread.

Black wasn't there, thank God, for Edward had no wish to have to explain an Indian living on their porch. But Bella Marie was inside preparing dinner. She yelled out when she saw Jasper and flew to him. He hugged her in silence while she cried against him.

Then she pulled back, "Oh no, something's wrong."

Well that Bella had uncanny female insight. Just unnerving.

"No," Jasper said, "but…," he turned to Alice and took her arm and led her to the chair. "Y'all," he said, looking mostly at Alice, "Mrs. Cope…your Mama, Alice, well she died. In her bed there…in her sleep. Jenks woke up and said, 'Mother,'…and she was cold."

Alice's, "No," was a sound could make a devil cry. Jasper picked her up then and took her to the cot where Edward had so recently arisen from.

He laid her down, and she was clinging and he sat beside her and he had her gathered against him. She was using her fists on him, but he kept his face buried in her hair and he let her pummel away. "Mama, Mama, no," was what she kept saying as she wailed.

Bella reached over Jasper and patted Alice's back. Bella looked at Edward and shook her head. He fell to the chair for he had no more strength to stand.

So much time came and gone, the four of them in that misery. Alice finally cried it out, then she had more questions and Jasper patiently answered them all. Everyone was fine, considering. But there had been changes and they'd been swift. Day of the burying, swift.

"What changes," Alice asked, as Jasper dabbed beneath her eyes with a cloth Bella had given him.

"Paul took a wife."

"What?" Alice asked, her eyes darting to Bella's.

"Jenny Tucker."

"That Tucker," Alice spat. "When's the wedding?"

"Done had it. Jenny came for the burying…and the same preacher…they're hitched."

"Jenny Tucker?" Bella said like Lawd-Almighty.

"She couldn't wait to get her spurs in him, could she?" Alice said all plucky. "Right over my Mama's coffin!"

The womenfolk tore apart Jenny for a spell, then Jasper said there was more. Jenks was consoling himself too. He'd moved in Maria. Permanent like.

Alice pushed Jasper away and struggled to get her skirts right and stand up. Her hands were on her hips. "You mean…your Maria?"

Jasper stood too. "She ain't my Maria," he said like she was crazy.

"Oh no? Laying up with her all winter? Now she's living in my house and my mama barely sticking a toe in heaven?"

"Calm yourself," Jasper told her. "I got something to say."

Edward laid his head on the table, from exhaustion, as well as hoping to protect it.

"I don't want to hear it," Alice yelled, crying and throwing things. He could hear Jasper grunting and struggling to get ahold of her.

The door opened then and it continued outside, Alice Sue screaming. Now it was about Jasper and how he'd rejected her. Then somehow it all came back in the cabin. He knew Bella was following it as he could hear her trying to calm Alice.

They were all around him again. He kept his eyes closed.

Finally it all went silent, dead silent, and he looked up. Jasper had his arms around Alice Sue and his lips locked to hers, too. And Alice Sue wasn't fighting it.

Bella was standing by, her hands over her mouth, her eyes big. Then she looked at Edward, tears streaming down her face.

Edward put his head back on the table. He didn't know when his head had gotten so heavy.

He heard them break the long kiss and Jasper said, "Now maybe you'll listen to me. She isn't my Maria. I don't care about her. I care…about you. That's why I came. I wanted to be the one. I wanted to tell you myself…be with you. Because…I care."

That was a speech.

"Thank you, kindly, Jasper," Alice said. "I'm right happy you care. But…."

"I know," Jasper interrupted. "You got your plans and I don't want to interrupt. I'll wait."

"What are you saying?" Alice asked.

"I'll wait for you," Jasper answered.

Now Edward did lift his head. Bella looked at him and back to Jasper and Alice.

"To do what, Jasper? You'll wait to do what?"

Jasper had his hands at her waist, but he shifted his boots a little. Edward could feel that noose around Jasper's neck.

"To…see what you want," Jasper said.

Edward cringed a little. That didn't quite ring the bell would be his guess.

Alice did straighten up. Her face was red and pink from her grief. She was a heartbreak about now.

She looked up into Jasper's face. "You see…I plan to go on the stage, Jasper. I…I don't plan to go to school now."

Bella's chin fell to her chest.

Edward's hand covered his mouth.

Jasper looked over his shoulder at Edward now, as it he had a part in this.

"You're going to school," Bella said.

"I'm not," Alice repeated, eerily calm. "I'm going to sing on the stage. I have a friend…Sam Hybrow, who is going to help get me started."

"Tonico's friend?" Edward said.

"He's an outlaw," Bella said. "He helped lock us up, Alice Sue."

"Lock you up?" Edward said, rising onto his feet.

"Who the hell locked you up?" Jasper said same time.

"He didn't…I mean he did…but he was always going to help us, Bella. You don't know him. "

"He was consenting and he was no where around when James Tonico held me down and told me what a piece of no good…." Bella gasped and put her hand over her mouth.

She looked at Edward, and he approached her swiftly and took her by the shoulders, "He did what?"

"Sit down y'all," Alice said rubbing her hands over her face. "We need to talk."

"What did he do?" Edward repeated. "Tonico put his hands on you?"

Bella wasn't looking at him. Then she did. "Yes. They say he died on the boats so it doesn't matter now."

"It matters," Edward said, a fury and self-loathing running hand in hand through him. "It matters."

There was a light rap on the door then. "What is it?" Edward shouted.

The door opened and Black had pulled off his hat and his glossy hair showed over his brown skin, and he smiled big so the white teeth only made the brown more so.

Jasper went for his gun. Bella yelled out he should hold on, this was their good friend Jacob Black.

"What damn tribe?" Jasper said, addressing Edward for it would all be on Edward for this.

"Kiowa," Jacob answered, his smile gone.

"What the hell you doin' walking in here where my sister is staying," Jasper went on pointing the gun.

Jacob didn't have the sense to step back, close the door and run for the hills. He widened the door and tried to answer, "I…."

Bella got between Jasper and Black just in time, but Edward didn't want that. He yelled that Jasper should put that gun away, and Jasper lowered it at least.

Bella had her hand on Jasper's chest quickly explaining how Black had saved her life.

Edward said, "Not saved…you said helped. You said you could of made it."

"No," Jacob disagreed. "She was spent. She'd already gone under."

"Don't you disagree with him," Jasper spat. "Kiowa." And he pretty much turned 'Kiowa' into the worst word a man could utter.

Bella was appealing to Jacob to wait outside and she'd be bringing out some dinner.

"You feed this cur?" Jasper said.

Edward yelled over them all. He told them to sit. Jasper didn't back off, but Alice sat, slamming herself in to the chair. The only chair. Bella told Black she was so sorry but they'd just had bad news from home and they were not themselves, which was a lie, they were exactly themselves.

Bella went back to checking the dinner, and Edward told Black they'd be seeing him and he closed the door. He nodded Jasper should step back and Jasper did, some.

"What's been goin' on around here?" Jasper asked Edward, disgusted, as if he knew about him and Bella's doings on that very bed. "You got a Kiowa…for a bosom pal?" he said to anyone who cared to answer. But no one did.

It was an afternoon of catching up, then, shouting, crying, pounding the table, challenging one another, holding one another, sitting in silence, in disgust, in relief, in incredulity, lots of that, especially when the girls admitted to 'most likely' killing a fella. And finally, tiredly knowing…they were still held by history and duty. The tether was ripped and worn, but still holding.

The question was…did it make sense for them to continue to a school Alice Sue didn't want to attend, and Edward wasn't sure he wanted Bella to attend. No he did not. He wanted her for himself. He wanted her by his side.

But none of that mattered. If he had to lay one more failure or twisted revelation on Jasper's shoulders, that one was likely to kill him. And then he would be Cain. And that would not be good.

But he'd dared to ask Bella if she still wanted to go to school and after staring at him a full minute she'd given the enthusiastic answer, "I suppose."

"What's that mean?" he'd asked.

"It means I refuse to go home and marry some vaquero just to get back at you…brother."

Edward had checked quickly that Jasper had not heard, but that one was busy with Alice Sue, going over all the reasons for the third time, why Alice Sue had to give up any idea of the stage and go to school like she'd planned while he waited like a good little doggie, building their fortune back in Texas so he could pretend she wasn't the kind to run off and do what she wanted anyway while she got in ten kinds of trouble.

Earlier, she had been so hotly out-numbered by them all, she had agreed to go to school since she refused to go back to Texas where Maria had moved into her home, along with Jenny Tucker. She now hated her father. And Paul while she was at it. More motivation for the stage in Edward's opine, but he kept it to himself.

As for Bella's snippy answer about not going back to Texas to marry beneath her for the purpose of making him miserable, he agreed. But this school idea was becoming more and more of a bad idea. So he was going forward with absolutely no conviction, playing the cards in their hands…and waiting…for better cards.

He secured passage for Jasper to join their party, and they started to gather their scant possessions.

One good thing, Black wasn't around and Edward hoped he'd gone on then and got him a way to St. Louis on his own. It wouldn't do for him to be around them now.

One more thing. Hybrow was Jasper's problem…or he should say Jasper was now Hybrow's problem.

And as for James Tonico…he'd better hope he was already dead.


	26. Chapter 26

Love Like a Hurricane 26

They'd gone up river on a barge. It was not as luxurious as the riverboat had been, but more tried and true in that it had made hundreds of trips upriver and never blown a boiler. Edward had asked.

The girls had shared a room belonging to the cook, a gray-haired woman named Aggie who'd worked this barge a long, long time. In younger days she'd been married to a river-man. Back in fifty-eight he fell in the Miss, too drunk to swim, and she inherited his job. She was better at it, they said.

Aggie was agreeable to helping Bella and Alice out, letting the girls camp on her floor. She'd seen many a sad time on the water, but it was her world, and river folk were the best…and the worst…she said.

She was the one to tell Edward some about Tonico. Tonico owned several boats, outright or in partnership with others. He was a big man on the river. Word was he'd died in the blast but his body was not, far as word went, recovered. He was gonna crawl out, her guess was he'd show in New Orleans. He had holdings there. Well this Edward already knew, and he'd wondered if that wasn't what would happen.

Aggie did not know Sam Hybrow, but if he was with Tonico, well birds of a feather is what she said.

Edward asked her if they threw folks off those gambling boats and she said it was done, oh sure it was that way. She'd seen a body or two…floating come morning, her up and about before the others, making the breakfast. Then there were times, those coming off the night watch, they would say, body tied alongside, like a midnight-catch it would be, or lying shrouded on the deck, and they'd haul it to port.

Well Miss ran deep, like most women do, she said. On this river, she'd seen more bodies than that, not counting the ones folks knew of after a blow. And in the war, well, she'd thought it end times, she had.

Edward said he'd taken sick on Tonico's boat and next he knew he was on a makeshift rig with a woman and her son seeing to him by turns. He asked if she'd heard of Suan and Po, and she did not know, and Edward said there was a father, too, a Negro man, and the boy favored him, but he called Suan Mother. Did Aggie know a family like that?

She did not, but Edward gave her his information and asked if she heard of them, would she give them his name and whereabouts. He wanted to reward them for his care.

"Now the river," Aggie said, smoking away, "gives and gives. And we'uns, take and take. And we forget…the river is not just here for us…but we are here…for the river."

"Yes Ma'am," Edward said, in hopes of changing the subject at least.

But she went on, "Now that sickness came on you from the river…but it wasn't your time. So it held you in its arms and took you under, you can believe it or not…and that river man came and pulled you out…and you lived."

"Well I ain't one to hold wives' tales."

She ignored this, "So the river has chastised…and put you back, but you have not learned all the river wants to teach you."

"Like what?" he asked daring to encourage her for plain curiosity.

"How to get out of the way of yourself."

She went back to smoking then. He wondered just how crazy she was.

So he stood. If you can't change a parley, you can surely leave it. All his life he'd been around those wanting to share their witchy notions. Old Mex…they all had the seeing eye, and a squaw or two had tried to sell him more than berries they'd picked by the river, looking him in the eye like they saw all the way to China, and Mama was downright prophet and doomsayer, and Mrs. Cope when drunk, read you and felt you all at once, felt you mostly, God rest her soul.

And his visions of those came to him in the cholera. No explaining that.

Seems a lot of folks heard a lot of things, and that was fine. But came to him and his life, he didn't like someone getting a word meant he'd have to trust them for the truth of it. He trusted no one like that.

So he got off to himself and had a smoke and let the wind blow on him. The river wanting to kill him, and him in his own way, well he didn't see that at all. What his gut told him about himself was Tonico threw him off that boat. Now Aggie had said that happened, and he believed it. Reckon he could overlook that, but not Tonico taking after the girls. That he could not forgive. It wasn't his to forgive. It was the defenseless preyed upon, and that called for justice.

Well, he could be justice. He would not stand in his own way came to that.

Edward and Jasper bedded amongst the cargo. The distance from Bella and Alice, not vast, but still, the separation after spending such a closeness with Bella, was both relief and torture. Edward was relieved to be 'hiding amongst the stuff,' so he didn't have to face Bella's ire. And he had no wish to look upon Alice Sue's sorrow. He couldn't fix it. Bella would be most suited to comfort that one anyway. Womenfolk couldn't be bested…well not his Bella…when it came to comforting loss.

But he missed her.

So he sat in the sun most of the time, between a barrel and a bale, and he welcomed this time to reflect. He blamed his fall from grace with Bella on the cholera. Now that he was growing stronger, he felt the possibility of control…in time. And he would be stronger. Everyday.

Well, Jasper was his turtle shell, his outside of the body backbone, is what he meant, the armor against Bella Marie. No problem at all to remember the clean distinction of brotherly behavior with Jasper around.

And that one seemed as relieved to be shod of Alice Sue as he was concerning Bella. Now wasn't that something. The women they claimed to love…or 'care about,' in Jasper's case, were best dealt with from a distance…short distance…best kind. He and Jasper were more alike than different on this it seemed. So they side-stepped matters of love and talked longhorns. Both of them were nearly possessed with the need to get back to ranching. Well he was.

"We get the girls settled…we're taking this river back to New Orleans. Tonico's there, if he lived. Well that cookie-woman thinks so. That woman knows things." By damn, here he was saying this. He wanted Jasper to believe it. Wanted him to believe he had a plan, that he hadn't been writhing in a bed trying not to shit himself, losing his convictions.

Jasper said, "That Hybrow…he comes for Alice…she gets in a man's mind…under his skin…his blood…his sleep. If she's in him that way…he knows where she is and he'll come. I go south…he comes north…or she goes off with him…well I won't forgive it." He said all this.

"Forgive Alice?"

He did not say. It had to be. Edward already knew he wasn't inclined to forgive Hybrow.

But then Jasper said, "Forgive you."

"Me? We're same side."

"Since when?"

"Since we came from the folks. What you mean?"

"That don't make us same."

"Same side."

Jasper snorted. This was no time to bring up the war. "You got your ideas. You go on. Can't tell you…don't want to. You go on for Tonico. I'll get this Hybrow my own way."

Edward had an idea, but saying it could cost him a punch in the nose. "What about that Black? Think we could pay him extra to keep an eye out?"

"That Kiowa?" Jasper spat. "Cholera eat your brain? You think I'd put that one on Alice? Or Bella? What you say that for? You got some damn notions. You strike a deal with that stinkin'…what the hell's the matter with you?"

"You through?"

"Shit," and he kicked around then stalked off, then he came back. "I'm saying what goes with Alice Sue. You don't say about her."

"You gonna sit around that school all winter? Walk her to her lessons? Carry her books?" Edward said.

"You want to catch a fish you watch the bait," he said, staring at the water. He didn't seem to want to look at Edward.

"You got a tick in your ear."

Jasper didn't answer. He waved his hand at Edward like he was fed up.

"I was better we could fight it out," Edward said. "You reckon that would fix things between us?"

Jasper kept looking off. He spat again, in to that dark water.

"Well, I didn't think so," Edward said. He knew he could push him to act, but he didn't have the strength. He didn't have the will. They needed to spend their wrath on those deserving, not each other. This thing of Jasper's, was an old wound. Putrified.

"Time to lay that down…that sack of old shit round your neck," Edward said.

Jasper knocked a bale aside. "I trusted you…."

"It's what it is. Comes to staying true…it's not me went off. I always been watching over these two. Pa left it to me and I done it."

"Done it? You ain't pa. You ain't been close. Thinkin' you are though. I didn't come against it. But I didn't stick around either. On the trail…I played Segundo. But since…you ain't even in charge of yourself much less…those girls. They could have…." Jasper couldn't even form his words. He was never much of a talker, but this was more.

"You wanna be mad…go the hell on. Won't bring him back," Edward said. "You try it on…me a boy myself. You want to judge me…look back on it and give an opine now you're a man…old shit stinks. You're tiresome." Edward rubbed his face then.

They were quiet for a good spell then, each one locked in his rightness. Edward's arms were folded on his chest. He should tell him now…get it out…his feelings for Bella. He should do it. Then he heard that Aggie, "You are in your own way," or some kind of shit she'd said. He didn't know what it had to do with him.

Finally Jasper said, "I'm watching over Alice until he comes. You get to New Orleans and find that other, you see that Hybrow, send me word."

Edward resented that he'd have to leave her…his Bella. He'd have to go to New Orleans and he'd have to kill that son of a bitch, and he 'd have to go on to Texas and start to herd those damn wild cattle and haul their leather asses up the Chisholm and fight the land, the sky, the sons of bitches on the land, the heat, and thirst and every curse God put a man under on this groaning earth, and once he got his money he'd start that long ride home and even then, she'd be doing her learning in Yankee land, forgetting him a little more every day… and his arms would rope and ride and he'd start it all again while he ached for the sight of her…for the sound of her…for the feel of her…for his Bella.

He pulled himself on to his feet and stalked off. Yeah now he was rushing away all red-hot and full up. He went toward the cabin and to his surprise, there was Bella, talking earnestly to Jacob Black. Well...Jasper had been right about this one. He'd sneaked on this barge apparently and he was keeping time with Bella like a low-down skulking dog.

"What the hell you doing?" he challenged Black. Were Jasper the one to come upon this it would be a hanging offense.

Jacob stood tall, shielding Bella, as if she needed protected from Edward. As if….

Edward went wild then, charging Black. Bella got free enough to yell in Edward's face. That brought him to his senses. He was panting then. If he had his guns, Black would be shot at least.

Black had been talking, and Edward was just starting to understand. He said he'd kept away from them, yes, hidden himself, so there'd be no trouble. He was taking meals after the others and had run in to Bella while entering the galley. That's all.

Bella was saying she was relieved to see Jacob and they'd had much to share. Jacob had lost his parents, too, in a raid, his family taken….

"Get on," Edward told Black, not wanting to hear another word. Black needed to get back to his hidey hole before Jasper saw him, instead of working to build sympathy in Bella…in the moonlight.

"You know better," Edward hissed at Bella.

And before she could bite his head off, he felt Jasper at his back.

"Get away from her," Jasper said over Edward's shoulder, quickly shoving him aside and closing in on Black.

Edward could see Black sheath his terror. Jasper would kill Black without a ripple in his mind.

Bella was arguing, and Black assured her he would be fine, though his eyes betrayed that assurance. He was backing off.

Edward got in Jasper's face like Bella done with him. But Jasper couldn't believe they'd let Kiowa on the same barge as white men accompanying white women. He was going on about it, saying it right in Jacob's face. He went on to grab Jacob by the neck fully intending to throw him off the barge.

It was Alice Sue suddenly appearing broke him out of it some. She was letting him have it, and Jasper didn't back off, but he stopped in his tracks. "Get out of my way Alice Sue," Jasper said stern.

"I ain't." She stomped her foot. Well you could see she felt like hell…about her mama and all. But she was standing to him. "Y'all need to step back, Jasper. Jacob Black is Kiowa, but he's not the one killed your pa."

"You say that to me?" he whispered. "You learn your place you ever want to be a part of me."

Alice wasn't like usual, all dramatic. She was taken aback, well he hurt her good, but she stood. "You got a mean streak, Jasper. There ain't a place in it for me. For no one. I know you're hurt. I remember how it was they brought your papa home. But Jacob Black needs passage same as us. He's worked to keep me and Bella safe. He's helped keep Edward alive. You got no right. And…I'm ashamed for you." She kept her big eyes on him.

Well, he was stuck there in those eyes. Edward prepared to take him down when he got his words, for she had said more than Jasper would allow and soon as he was breathing again he'd return fire.

"Best I knowed now," he told her. "You and me…we got nothin'." Jasper said this matter of fact. He went to put his hands on Black afterall, shoving Alice aside. Black tried to fight and Edward pulled both of the girls out of the range of what Jasper intended.

Alice broke free, well he was piss poor strong. He called her, but she latched on to Jasper's back, yanking on his hair, beating on his shoulders, but Jasper knocked her off as he wrestled Black to the barge's edge. Others on the boat could see, but they did not interfere. Jasper saw fit to throw Black off, it was his call.

Over Black went. Big splash and Edward cursed. Bella had been yelling at him to do something, then yelling at Jasper to let off, and Edward had held onto her, trying to keep her safe. What Jasper wasn't expecting was Alice Sue to shove him from behind. He went in too, and Alice, unable to catch herself fell in right after.

Bella screamed and the river-men grabbed the hooks and the rope and they went to the edge and soon as the three heads showed, they called out. Bella was beside herself and Edward moved to the edge with her, but he held her tight as he could.

Jasper wasn't much of a swimmer. He kept himself afloat, and he tried to reach Alice, but it was Black got to Alice Sue first and got her to the barge leaving Jasper to fend for himself. Once those two were safe, it was Alice standing on the barge wringing her hands while they pulled Jasper aboard. Soon as he was safe and standing there looking at her like she'd tried to kill him and nearly succeeded in killing them both, she tried to push him in again and he caught her hands and wrestled them away from the edge this time and he tried to reason with her, but she was yelling at him.

Well, they were through before they got going from the sound of it.

"We got nothing? That's what you say to me? Well I got nothing. No family to go home to, no Mama, no Daddy, no brother, no home. Don't you come around me no more. You got a buckeye for a brain," she said. She stormed back to the shelter.

Bella had pulled away from Edward. "I reckon," she said to Jasper and Edward hated to see her include him, but this was for the both of them, "you both need to get on home soon as we get on that train in St. Louis. Any chance y'all had with us…it's gone. Alice said it…I'm ashamed of y'all."

"What'd I do?" Edward blurted, trying to distance himself from Jasper's sins when he had more than enough of his own.

"You tell him?" she asked, her feet spread, her hands shelved tight on her waist.

"Tell him?" Edward said, for surely….

She looked Jasper in the eye. "I love him. I want to marry him. He was kissing on me…oh he kissed me good. That kiss you and Alice had yesterday? It was a Sunday picnic next to us…me in my drawers and all."

Jasper's face was drawing together like he was hearing some kind of foreign language.

"I love Edward. Well…I do. But…it was him wouldn't have me. That's why I was going to school…so he'd miss me so bad…he'd be a man…and come for me. But now…I wouldn't have him. Alice Sue was right about that too. There ain't no room for me either. Y'all only care about one thing besides yourselves…longhorn cattle. When Pa got killed…you both got twisted. I used to think it was just you, Jasper, your hateful ways. But now I know…it's you too," she said looking at Edward. "You care mostly what one another think. That's how you try to get the love Pa didn't give you. You try to be something grand…for each other. Real shame is you can't marry each other."

"Did he…did he…," Jasper was trying to ask.

"I did not," Edward yelled. "I would never."

"He wanted to," Bella said to Jasper. "But…he couldn't. He's too afraid you'll know. He can't let you be his idea of a better man. He can't…let you down. But me…he lets me down…all the time." She gave Edward one last, sad look, then she went inside.

Jasper looked askance. He was dripping, and he looked bullets and daggers at Edward. "You tell me. What is she talking about? It better not be what it sounded like."

"You want me to lie?" Edward said. He didn't care anymore. Had he lost her? No. He'd talk her out of it in the morning…she was just mad…like usual. But…she was wrong about this. Care most what Jasper thought? Never in his life.

"What kind of game you playing? That is our sister."

"I know that. I was sick…I was weak. She…she's had it in mind. I been on the run. I been honorable…except…."

"Go on," Jasper demanded.

"I loved on her. I…hugged her…I kissed her. I…I love her."

Edward's face exploded then. Knocked on the floor in a sprawl, he welcomed it, he did. He deserved it, too. But it made him mad. And if he could, he'd give Jasper a beating…well he couldn't win, but he could inflict some pain. So he got himself up and Jasper stood there like he couldn't give a shit and Edward swung wild, but he fell over just from that.

"You and me…we're done," Jasper said looking down on him. "You ain't my brother. I go back to Texas to brand my cattle, I don't run my herd with yours. You kill Tonico and I'll take the other like we said. You get your ass back to Texas and leave Bella Marie alone. I hear you ever touch her again I'll kill you."

Well he lay there, and at first he was blank, just trying to let the pain in his face quell some. First off he reckoned, Bella had been right. At first, he'd been trying to give Jasper a speech to make himself look good. He took the lead…but it had always been Jasper's job to hold him up, way up. Her job too. Well everybody in the family. They had to admire him. He required it.

Well…shouldn't a man be respected by his family? Isn't that what made life bearable? And he'd never held Jasper back. That one did what he wanted.

And he'd tried to be a man they could be proud of. Them girls saying they were ashamed…well that was just a tragedy. Jasper might deserve it some…but not him.

It was the cholera caused that weak and wonderful ten misguided minutes when he'd loved on Bella. It was that.

"Where you going?" he asked Jasper as that one, wet as an otter, stalked off again. Well he didn't stop to explain.

"Don't you tell me what to do," Edward yelled out. But Jasper was already gone. "Well don't tell me…," Edward said mostly to himself then.

Black was long gone, out of sight, and who could blame the man. Guess Jasper would do the same now, hide out and get shod of it all soon as he could.

Edward sighed. And he wondered, was he in the way of himself? And if he was…how did he get out of the way?


	27. Chapter 27

I have traveled to Texas to get a better feel for this story. Soon as I crossed the state line, I felt these characters like never before. I wrote chapter 26 over the last three days. I did not expect these characters to break down so far, but the break came and I said—here we go.

When I write these men and women of history, I strive to write people true to their time. They weren't raised by Mama's fed on Oprah. Are they what we'd call sexist? Mostly. Are they what we'd call racists? Usually. I've got to peel off a hundred and fifty years on these folks, give or take, and they are who they are, forged by war and war-like conditions, and sometimes, for all of their outrageous flaws, they are capable of some great moments. Not unlike us.

Thanks for reading and your mind blowing reviews. You guys inspire me.

Love Like a Hurricane 27

They rode the train together, but they did not sit in one another's company. Bella and Alice did, just not the menfolk, those two sat in the back of the car, opposite sides of the aisle.

Well, they weren't feeling sanguine enough to joke about it. One time Bella wanted to say, "Reckon Edward and Jasper Cullen would rather be forking a horse." Well so would she. But she didn't say that. Came to those two men…the girls weren't laughing at all.

Closer they got to the school the more Alice struggled to stay committed. Bella prevailed upon her to study music for real, then take it on the stage if she was of a mind, and not because of Sam Hybrow and his kind, but because she had a talent the world needed.

"You believe in me that much?" she'd asked, and Bella stammered some.

"I never thought of it that way, but I do believe you can take to the stage if your mind is on it." Bella didn't know what else to say. Alice Sue was a most determined girl. Not many could push the man they claimed to love in the dark Mississippi. Much as Bella didn't want Jasper to die, she admired Alice could stand so strong.

"You're not just trying to get me to go along?" Alice said.

"Well no. But now's the time to take hold of an education. Very few women get to."

"Maybe that's because it's a waste of time," Alice whispered.

"Did you even read the brochure? Women like us are models for those who will follow. Some say we ain't got the mind for higher learning. But you and me know that's not true. Don't we?"

"I reckon," Alice said morose. "Our greatest weapon, you said."

"Almira lets a woman earn a degree same as a man's in worth."

"Yippe-yo," Alice said with no joy at all. "You reckon most men will see it that way?"

"Don't matter. We are giving ourselves an opportunity, Alice Sue…like going west. It's pretty grand. It started as a way to get ourselves married…but who knows where it might end? It's growing already...in purpose, I mean. Can't you feel it?"

"We ain't gonna change this world, Bella Marie. Not us."

"Well then who Alice Sue? My…Edward always said the fella beside puts his britches on same way you do."

"That go for a corset and some drawers?"

"Reckon so," and they laughed a little.

"Anyway…my pa says that. That's where Edward got it." Well, she said this before. "This world's gonna change us…grind the young right out of us…'til we're two old women…drinking too much wine…like my mama." Alice sniffed, wiping over her cheeks. "Lord…how many tears I got in me?"

"Not us. That's us in Texas…ranchers wives…burying our children…."

"And having more…."

"Weathered from the wind and hot sun in Texas…."

"A hellacious place to try and save one's complexion."

"We're already turning the herd, Alice. Remember…that's what we set out to do?"

"Hoo-ray," Alice dug her eyelids with the heels of her hands.

"What if you were college educated, Alice? Now that would be a woman might hold a stage…when she ran out of songs…she might have something to say, too, something worth hearing…about justice maybe, or the like."

"How's that? Women who go to college turn out to be bookworms and old maids. Funny how we thought this would get us those two back there and instead it ruined everything. Well that's our new course…ruination."

"You can't blame college for ruining…for our troubles."

"Oh, I don't. I blame Jasper mostly, and Edward after that."

"Well what about Tonico and Hybrow?"

Alice sniffed some more. "I don't blame them at all…well not Sam."

"No? What about that one we," Bella looked around, then ran her finger over her throat.

"We never should have been on that river. We should have been home married…you with Edward…me with Jasper. Texas is trying to kill us now. It has been I mean. Now it don't have to. The Methodists will take over."

"Short-sighted you ask me. Why blame anyone? We stayed on the ranch…we'd of never seen New Orleans."

Alice sighed. "Or swam the Mississippi."

"You call that swimming?" They laughed some more.

"I'd of never got to sing on the stage," Alice said.

"See there?"

Alice got quiet then. Bella turned around and peeked down the aisle. Edward was staring straight back at her, sitting forward like maybe she'd need him and he was already fixing to be on the way. She turned quickly then. "How's he gonna pay for this?" she said before she could stop it.

"Pay for college?" Alice said. "Good old Wells Fargo. Edward will break his neck to bring money up. And my father will come through. Not that I want anything from him. That Maria in Mama's house."

"Take that money and do your Mama proud. Might as well let them turn a few of those wild cattle into college degrees for us. We been good daughters…to them…and to Texas."

"Those two," Alice scoffed, motioning behind them, "…got no more guilt than a couple of armadillos. And what is Jasper following us to that school for? He's up to something, and I don't want to think about it. You ever see him stick around? He don't do things like this, he can't be bothered Lord knows."

Bella nearly peeked at Edward again, but if she did, he'd start up here and she didn't want that, him knee to knee and staring at her all the way to school. "My guess is he thinks he's watching over me now I told him about me and Edward."

"He wouldn't take the time."

"Oh he would for this. He's making his point. But thing is, it's between him and Edward. Truth is he wouldn't spend two minutes doing this for me. He's never had to. Edward has always ridden point on me, and he couldn't be around, it was Seth's job…or Mr. Jenks. Jasper Cullen, well he's too preoccupied to mess with anyone isn't a longhorn or an Indian."

Alice did laugh at that. "It's true. He's got to find him a war alright. Well," she said, "I ain't no part of him." Then she looked out the train's window. "You ever see a place so flat as this here Illinois?"

"Texas maybe," Bella said, and they laughed again.

Alice yawned then. They'd barely slept. Since that awful night when they'd quarreled, they'd sat up late talking, trying to encourage one another. They secretly oversaw Jacob's well-being too. And they'd learned a bunch from hours of conversation.

Jacob was only two years older than them. When young, his father had tried to learn farming. He lost the respect of some of his band as Kiowa men were warriors and hunters and traders of leather goods made from their kill. But others were farming alongside Two Bears and so they formed a small band.

But around that time, Kiowa warriors were raiding the settlers and taking refuge on the reservations. So the army and some of the ranchers were planning on attacking the Kiowa to put an end to it. It had already been established that the reservations could be attacked. So if war came, the Indians were on their own.

Jacob's family was one of those caught unawares. Though he'd heard the tale enough, Jacob had no real memory of the attack. He did know he and his sister, a baby just months old, were the only survivors from his father's farm.

Since Jacob was injured he was taken back to the fort, then sent to the reservation. On the reservation he ended up being taken in by his father's people. But those were some of the Kiowa who still traveled off the reservation. Since Jacob struggled with his wounded leg, he could not keep up with his new family's nomadic ways. They left him at a Methodist mission where he was cared for and educated.

You wouldn't know to look at Jacob now what a sickly child he'd been. He was built very powerfully, though he was not tall. Bella and Alice knew he was strong as he'd saved each of them from the river. But he was strong on the inside too. Rather than be bitter, Jacob saw everything that had happened to him as working eventual good in his life.

Bella knew about the Indian wars. Riding with the army in one of those battles was how Pa was killed. Jacob maintained that the Indians had killed to avenge. Bella disagreed. She said hotly, "Killing is killing." Well she wasn't out to justify it either way and she didn't want him to.

Instead of being angry, Jacob had agreed. And Bella had stilled. Jacob Black was no less a son of Texas than Edward and her brothers.

But her brothers would not agree. Lord no. Ill-feelings on both sides ran deep as deep goes. And every time another settler was killed every ranching and farming family felt the pain of their own losses all over again. She now imagined it was the same for the Kiowa for Jacob was showing her the other side, and making her feel his pain, but it did not take away from her own experience. The Kiowa had butchered Pa. Their reasons didn't make her loss any easier.

She and Alice had talked hours about it. Alice confessed she had not known the Kiowa felt same as them. Her pa always called them thieving savages, not to be trusted. Well she didn't trust them, or any men, red or white. But…looking at it from Jacob's eyes she could understand, she said, why they did some of what they did, them being already where folks came, or driven south when their lands were taken up north. If the Kiowa were like Jacob…it was too painful to think on.

And most startling, Jacob also gave them a bible lesson. He said the first man, Adam, was ruddy. And they'd about got hysterics to learn 'ruddy,' meant, 'red.'

"Y'all saying we all come from Indians?" Alice asked like Jacob had asked her to pull off her drawers.

"That's what the book says," Jacob said.

"My preacher never heard that," Alice said.

"No he did not," Bella agreed.

"And you better not let Edward and Jasper hear it either," Alice said, "or Jasper Cullen at least will throw you back in the water and hold you under."

"It's what drew my father to the white man's faith. It's what made him try farming. My father said the red man was first. Wherever the white man goes…he finds the red man…first. When he heard it was put in the big book that way, he said that book told the truth."

Alice asked Bella later if she believed it, and before she knew it Bella had another opinion that would make Edward and Jasper raise hell. If Adam was the first man…and Eve the first woman then no matter what color they were…they all came from the same source. That meant…Jacob was her brother, too.

From the train they walked. Each of them held a bag with their scant possessions. The college was only a few blocks from the station. Bella and Alice Sue were far enough in front of the men to escape the complexities of a sanguine conversation.

"Bella," Edward called, still looking handsome in his odd hand me down clothes. She couldn't get used to him in a blue shirt though. "We're going to eat in the diner here on the square."

Bella looked at Alice and that one shook her head no. "Stop admiring him," Alice whispered fierce.

Well, she missed him. Much as she had to distance herself from him, a life of admiration and undying love didn't just vanish overnight. Granted he'd done his best to kill it off, but still…it hadn't died.

"We'll go on to the school. I'm sure we can eat there come dinner time. Y'all go on and eat at the diner. We can say our good-byes here." Bella said this with determination.

"Well, no," Edward said. "I…we wanted to eat and…well Jasper is taking a room here until…well until y'all are settled."

"We don't need him," Alice said to Bella. "He ain't no part…of us."

Well everyone heard but no one seemed to know what to do with it.

"What about you?" Bella asked Edward. "Are you strong enough to go home?"

Edward stared some. She could feel his gratitude that she seemed to care. "Of course. I can't linger."

Well that sounded ridiculous. She hadn't asked him to linger. Not now. But he wanted to be mysterious, inferring some pressing business, she wasn't going to show interest.

"C'mon," Alice said to Bella, yanking on her arm.

"Alice Sue," Jasper said, having to clear his throat and say it again. She waited patiently. "That Hybrow comes…you get me word."

"Why? So you can kill him for being man enough to let me know how he feels? Why would I tell you, Jasper? Said yourself I got no part in you, which means, y'all got no part in me." She turned and kept walking then.

He took some steps to her, just a few. His legs were long. He took her by the arm and turned her some. "What'd you expect shoving me in the river?"

"I expect nothing, Jasper. You taught me that. So y'all go on now. I've got school waiting. Did you know I can earn a degree equal to a man's at this school? Well…guess that wouldn't matter to you. You already know everything. G'day to you."

He went after her again, taking her arm and towering over her. "Maybe if you said you were sorry for trying to kill me…."

"Pity sakes…kill you?" Alice interrupted.

"…in that river…and all the rest…the way you been…wanting to run off like some kind of tramp…."

"Tramp?" She slapped his face, and his hat flew off, and there he stood, tall and strong…and humiliated. He kept his mouth in a hard line, one hand on his cheek, the other holding his saddle bags. He looked at her, and she met the look, but her gulp gave her away.

"That how you want to be?" he said.

"Guess so," she said. "You coming Bella?"

Bella had been watching, but she turned to Edward. "Yes, we'll go on. You can talk to the president without us, can't you?"

Edward had been staring open-mouthed at Jasper. He pulled his attention back to Bella. "You should be with us when we talk to the president. How's that going to look you girls not there?" His eyes…he needed to show some pluck and quit looking at her like she'd shot his pony. She wasn't taking anything back. He'd let her down.

"You both should stay with…me," Edward said to Alice. "Jasper can stay back if you want him to."

Jasper shot such a glare Edward's way.

"You go on and eat," Bella said. "Alice and me will see the president and do what we need there. We'll tell them you are close behind."

"Well…we came all this way…," Edward said, but she could not hold the look he gave. He was too thin and too pale, and worse he'd lost himself. She didn't know how or where but it was painful to see.

Jasper scooped his hat and smashed it over his yellow hair. He walked off to eat that meal…or get his room...or to shoot somebody.

"Best go on. He's leaving," Bella said to Edward.

"I will find you before I leave. I want to know you are settled and…," Edward said to her.

"C'mon Bella," Alice said. Well they'd vowed to keep one another strong.

"Give my fondest to Mama…and thank you for paying for school…and doing it twice and all."

"Bella?" Alice said.

Bella took a few steps backward as she left Edward. He matched her steps and she could see some words coming, "I…never hoped to disappoint you," he said. "I tried…and I failed I know."

She took a step back and he matched it. "This isn't how we should leave. You know…you know my feelings ain't changed…that is…I love you. I always have,"he said.

"Bella," Alice said.

Jasper was coming forward now. "Leave her alone," Jasper said.

Edward put his hand on Bella's arm to hold her there, but he turned to Jasper, "What you mean leave her alone? I'm talking to Bella. You go on to the diner."

"Don't tell me what to do, and get your hand off her," Jasper said.

Edward left off touching her.

"I know you ain't changed," Bella said. "I know you never will. You best go now, Edward," Bella said, and she turned and Alice took her hand and they practically ran the rest of the way to that school.

But she'd turned once, and looked back, and he stood there watching. And much as she didn't want to…she felt all the love in her heart still there. Then Alice pulled hard on her arm…and she just kept going.

She didn't turn around again.


	28. Chapter 28

Still in Texas and the river is flowing. Thanks so much for all your lovely words. You guys. Much love and hope to you all for life is so darn wonderful. Look up and take a deep breath and just be. Okay…read on!

Love Like a Hurricane 28

Edward watched Bella walk away, toward the brick edifice that meant her whole life now. He'd said good-bye to her before, many times, but he was the one going off.

His insides said, "Ahhh, no now. Ah, no."

But Jasper was on him and he ripped his eyes from her retreating form and followed that one to the diner like he was a stupid beast with no more say in his own life than a mulie being herded by the dog. Jasper being the dog.

So they walked in a line, a good gap between, Jasper stinging Edward knew, for that Alice packed an admirable wallop. But he was stinging too, and they'd been pretty stripped down back there, naked as the days they jumped in the pond.

They went in that diner, and sat at two tables like they hadn't come from the same folks, same ranch, peed out the same window growing up, from fear if they used the outhouse in the dark some Indian would be waiting, for that's how one of the neighbors went to glory.

Like he hadn't fallen on Edward's neck back in '56, after Pa…and Edward had to pull him out of the house, put a shovel in his hand and together, him twelve and Jasper ten they'd dug that grave, washed that ruined body while they wailed in sorrow and rage that the world could be so mean.

Like he hadn't had to pry that one good hand of Pa's out of Jasper's and then made him help get Pa in the earth.

Like he hadn't filled that hole himself while Jasper laid on the ground and sobbed. Like he didn't try for three weeks to chase Jasper into that schoolhouse, before he gave up and let him ride with him cause he didn't want Edward out of his sight for weeks after the loss.

Well no one knew all this but him. And like all that hadn't transpired they sat there at their two tables, Edward ordering stew, Jasper ordering dumplings when Edward knew he wanted the stew but was too cussed, stubborn, ornery to take the same.

They sat in silence, Jasper holding his cheek and Edward's thoughts running straight to Bella. And he looked into the glass before him and Jasper, the big window, and he could see both of them, sitting side by side and miles apart. And he got saved.

All in one moment, he was born again. He suddenly knew what Aggie meant. What had been so hard to understand?

Bella. She'd been his since Pa died. Two years old she was. Two years old and he'd stepped in, came in to the house after burying Pa, came in and told Ma it was done, and Ma holding Bella and Bella was crying cause her ear hurt and Ma held the salt-filled sock to it that she kept warming in the skillet, and he'd looked around then, at all they had and all they didn't.

And he stepped in.

And he'd done right. He had not approached Bella as anything but his little lamb.

She'd come to him now. She'd stepped his way and he never would have changed what they were. He never would have put himself first.

But when had he denied her a thing?

He couldn't.

And he loved her. And he'd not be sneaking, and that's what would happen, he didn't make this right. He'd become a sneaking, lying, liar.

That's what she'd been so damn mad about. Well, he'd been too sick to keep up.

He had to win her now. He'd held her on the line figuring she'd always be hooked…and he could live his life adoring her.

He'd given Paul permission. She had her chance and she had to remember he'd tried.

But the loving they'd done…it changed everything. He could not just live adoring her. He wanted her…his little sis who wasn't his sis. He wanted her body and soul. Body. And soul.

Well there was a new dawn breaking in him. Jasper be damned. If their tie wasn't stronger than this…well sit on a stick and squeal like a pig, hermanito.

Mama…he'd have to stand to her, but he'd go in, hat in hand, knee bent, and she'd see in time…the way he'd treat Bella Marie, Mama would not be able to ask for better. And grandchildren. Well what a thought. Mama would forgive…if she lived long enough. Maybe then…he'd even forgive himself.

Well he had to hide a smile now. Jasper saw it, corner of his watchful eye, over the red mound of his cheek. He'd think Edward was laughing at him, but he was wrong again.

Thing that put that smile in the glass of this big window, he never saw himself loving this way…just taken with it. He had any hesitation, and he did not, watching her walk from him into another future…well he was felled and senseless. But he was clear.

He reckoned, in her mind he let her down because he'd failed to claim her. Way he saw it, he let her down because he'd nearly lost her to that slaver…that purveyor of human flesh. In truth, he knew not to blame himself for cholera. But taking Bella and Alice into the lion's den and then getting sick and tossed…well Tonico was what he blamed.

And so, he had to know…did that one live? Well now he'd deposited her at the school and stared here so openly at himself two things came clear, him called to love…and called to fight. Two things at once, right and left and him in the middle.

She was safe now. And yes, he'd admitted it…his love.

And he'd never been confused what came next.

He smiled through his whole plate of stew, cooked soft the way he liked, that brown gravy, he was sure to smack his lips while Jasper worked over his plate of yard bird.

When he'd finished and licked each finger rather loudly, wiped them again on his napkin and took a nice long sip of that hot black coffee, he made a sound of satisfaction that made the girl smile and turn red when she took his plate.

"Want pie?" she said.

"What kind you got?" he asked. He didn't like sweets as a rule, but he was changing some.

"Got one big slice of apple left."

That was Jasper's favorite in all the world.

"Oh," Edward said, "I'll take that."

Jasper shifted some on his chair, hunching a little more, elbows on the table and working his jaw some. The girl forgot his plate as she went to fetch Edward's pie.

"I'll just put it in the oven and warm it a little," she said.

Edward snorted some and Jasper snorted back, only his snort was not as joyful as Edward's.

"Here's what's going to happen," Edward said. "I'm going over to the newspaper and see if that Editor has any news on the boats…anything on Tonico. Maybe he can find out what Tonico owns…all his holdings."

"So?'

"So…we'll find out what we can. We got reason to know he lives we'll look into his business along the river. You could go there and keep an eye. Once I make sure Alice is safe, I'll come. We'll take care of him. We can't find Hybrow around here…Tonico will tell us where he is. One will lead us to the other. But we got to work together. That don't mean we got to like each other."

"I don't like you."

"And you're so…endearing."

The girl brought Edward's big slice of pie then, well half the pie, easily enough for three normal folks. He smiled and she wiped over her red cheek and her hand shook.

"Anything else? We got lemonade."

"I'd love me some," Edward said, big smile. It felt so good to be happy.

Jasper cleared his throat and she looked over, "Oh I'm so sorry." She grabbed his dirty plate and scurried off and Jasper called, "More coffee."

"There's things we can do. We ain't going to be at Tonico's mercy, and the girls aint." Edward still nursed the idea of enlisting Black. That one was doting enough. He felt the need for more help he'd do it, Jasper be damned.

"You and me will speak to the headmaster and make sure he understands about Hybrow, that there was trouble on the boat and that man is not to be allowed to see Alice Sue and we want to hear if he shows."

"No. That's not enough. I can't leave here knowing he could come for her," Jasper said.

Edward was pleased to see Jasper was listening. "Settle down. We'll do what's necessary. Just like always."

Edward sat back then and rubbed his belly. He'd taken two bites of that pie, but he was full as a tick, and was just now getting his appetite back and it wasn't nearly what it usually was.

Jasper was glaring right out now.

"Something on your mind?" Edward asked as he searched his pockets for the makings of a smoke.

"You got…audacity, that's what."

Edward whistled. A two-dollar word meant Jasper was furious. "Yep," he agreed. "You got a bigger enemy to worry on than Hybrow."

"Who's that?"

The girl brought Edward's lemonade. It held a beautiful thing-glistening chips of ice. That glass chilled Edward's hand.

"Anything else, Mister?"

"No Miss, but thank-ya kindly."

"Ain't you an angel of polite." Jasper sneered pretty much, his coffee cup still empty.

"That enemy—it's you. You got to get out of the way of yourself."

"You medicine man too? She-it."

Edward set that tinkling glass of piss yellow sunshine in front of his brother. "Put that on your cheek and think about it." He stood and put the plate of pie before him too. "She ain't gonna be any closer than she is right now for a long damn time."

He was laughing some when he went to pay for his meal. He told the girl, "I'll get that long-face's dinner, too. He ain't so bad. I seen him hug his Mama before."

He heard Jasper moan from behind and Edward was still laughing.

When he passed that window from outside, he waved to his brother. That one was so deep in thought, that glass against his cheek and him staring at that pie, not seeing anything in that room was Edward's guess. He knew where his thoughts were. He surely did. For his…were right beside.


	29. Chapter 29

Love Like a Hurricane 29

After his bucket of dinner Edward strolled to the newspaper office and they had not even heard of the explosion on the river. They asked him to 'give them the story,' as here-say was same as gospel he guessed, for they did not know him from one of the Clanton gang.

But Edward did not want the story put around here. It would cause Alice and Bella too much attention and that Tonico locking them up and all that transpired, those girls needed to put behind them soon as they could. So no, he would not be giving them the story and he thanked them kindly, but the editor did say he'd wire his pard, editor of the Missouri-Democrat in St. Louis and see what they knew. Was Edward at the boarding house? Yes he would be shortly. Well the editor would have that answer by supper time.

As Edward walked to the boarding house he reasoned. This school was the right place for Bella. For Alice too. He knew that. What was he going to do, take her to wife at nearly seventeen and stick her on the ranch while he wrestled doggies and drove them to the railroad? The country was just getting its teeth sharpened on that rangy, tough as hell Texas beef. Opportunities were wherever a man had the gumption to take a herd. There were fortunes to be made for someone like him, a man with the grit and means and no how to hoof those cattle… and get around fever laws.

They had not held on this long, burying Pa, branding with one hand, shooting with the other, to pull back now.

Once Tonico and Hybrow were strumming harps he needed to get his ass to Texas and get busy.

But first…would she have him? He'd about pushed her over the Balcones. Would she consider…waiting…staying true…coming to him when he came for her?

She deserved to do something…to have a time to learn and understand how grand this world was. To have a chance to be in her books.

And he'd nearly gotten her killed. Texas was mean, but the way it had gone she may have been safer there.

But around here, there wasn't so much as a cactus, well nothing grew thorns didn't seem like, except for roses on the porch.

This place was so settled she could take walks on the square and window shop, get her a ready made dress if she wanted to, sit in that fine gazebo by the courthouse and read her books, post a letter right off without waiting a week for someone to take it to the stage. Go to church regular like she liked. Eat ice cream on a Sunday afternoon.

There wasn't an Indian to be found…except for Black and much as he hated to admit…that one meant her no harm…but he doted…he cared…and that was pretty unforgivable. Surely she had the sense…well she knew how it was…those very ones killing Pa.

She had a soft heart but a hard head. Far as he knew her and Alice Sue had no parley, no contact at all with Black after Jasper threw him in the river. It was for the best that happened, except for Alice Sue going in. Jasper had portrayed their sentiments without saying much. Jacob Black was not to be considered. And no one who witnessed what Jasper did could deny the message.

On the courthouse lawn, it trimmed so fine, was a canon and some ball beside. There was a plague. The soldiers round here, those fought for the blue, well the gray and them had made their peace and put the canon and ball to stand for their truce and to honor themselves one and all. Now this is where those girls belonged. He could settle that in his mind for sure.

Then why in hell did he feel it was impossible to leave her?

Edward had told Bella he would not linger, but linger is what he did. And it had paid off. He was talking to Jasper some…well they had to work together like he'd said and he had information trickling in on Tonico.

It took the editor a couple of days, but according to him, Tonico's fate was pure speculation. Rumor was he'd lived through the fire but his injuries were such they took him to his home in New Orleans to die.

The editor in St. Louis said there was no obituary ran in the papers there. A Louisiana muckraker was looking further into it and his findings would dribble back here.

This was proving to be uncommonly easy. All Edward and Jasper had to do was wait.

Jasper had rented him a horse, and that itchy-foot took to riding most the days. He had not been to Illinois before, but to walk where Lincoln had stumped for office, and so many Johnny Rebs had died in prison…well Jasper had things to wrestle against bigger than Edward even.

Far as Edward knew, Jasper had not taken a step toward Alice Sue. That was probably the thing he was stewing on the most.

So Edward sat on the porch quite a bit, his ankles crossed on the rail, him loving the fall weather here. He continued to feel himself knit together while he made his plans to mete justice…and in between…and always…he thought of Bella.

Three days later his money came in and some from Jenks and he bought some clothes and put money on account for Bella Marie and Alice Sue.

He missed those shirts she made him, and the hearts she sewed in the pockets. Well he said he'd see if she was settled and he had to pay the school.

When he went onto Almira's grounds, Bella was in chapel, sitting up near the front, her dark hair, he knew that, darker than any other's, and Alice, smaller beside, but a proud little head, little shit-talker that one.

Jacob Black of all folks serving in the kingdom of God, this one was up there speaking like he had the right. Edward had no care what he said, but the hubris in that one's voice, and the white cravat, and black coat, his hand on that pulpit, well he was a sight more polished than last Edward had seen him crawling out of the Mississippi, but orating? She-it.

How much of his drivel were these girls going to have to listen to, he wondered. These religious kinds loved to have someone like Jacob, the huggable, kissable Kiowa boy, so they could clap their hands like they'd cleaned up what were a proud people, love or hate, they were proud and they knew how to survive, where these do-gooders couldn't. So annihilate the Indian in him, or them, then pretend like you loved the red man, when he looked same as you now, but not quite, but you'd tried, so you could finally stand him cause you were just as hateful as the rest of the white folks only you had the burden of pretending you weren't.

Liars.

Now he wasn't defending Black, just himself. He'd said it before, and there weren't no butterflies coming out of his mouth while he said it, nice bright white teeth and all in Black's big smile, it didn't make all they'd suffered from his kind anywhere near alright.

Well it made him mad and he went outside to wait for Bella there. He didn't want to make trouble for her and Alice, otherwise he'd be tearing this place down brick by brick about now and raising high hell while he got his money back. Damn he needed a smoke.

He'd smoked two before that church time was over. Black ran out of wind he guessed, and some girls filed out, and none of them near fair as his Bella. Nor as dark. Bunch of pale, prune-faced silly heads. A few took to giggling his way, and he was not trying to be funny at all. Was it Yankee? Is this how they were raised?

She came out near the back then and that Black was already in her ear, that big grin.

Well here's something he had not seen before, Jacob Black made Bella look…darker. Next to him, it just brought out the brown in her, that Spanish blood Pa said she had. Well he didn't like that, for Bella's sake. He hoped folks wouldn't hold it against her, for them so pale in these parts. Well, back home she was more fair. But here…was it the sun in these parts, shining different on her?

With Black she looked…well Edward didn't like it. They matched some almost. He didn't like it at all. How could he?

They might love the Kiowa around here, but they needed to understand Bella Marie was not Indian. She was same as them and they better treat her well.

Lord his mind. He was so agitated came to her.

He stepped to her and Black greeted him somewhat trepidatiously, and Edward said, "Black," then hand on her arm and he said, "Bella."

Her arm in his hand was like raw meat to a wildcat. He hummed deep in his throat. Lord he'd missed her. "I need to talk to you Bella."

Girls twittering behind their hands or giving him and Bella blushing looks. Alice looking about fourteen in a blue dress and her hair pulled tight and wrapped like muffs over her ears. "You need to go home," Alice whispered to Edward.

"Alice Sue, I am going to speak with Bella Marie," he looked at Bella, and she did not deny him.

Alice went on then, walking too closely to the retreating Black who still had that look like he needed to protect Bella from her own family, namely Edward.

"Edward…I have a class in just a few minutes. I thought…I wondered if…if you'd left," Bella said.

"I'm here, ain't I? That Black…."

"Surely you haven't come to say another word against Jacob." The light in her eyes fired right up.

Well, she wore a sweet dress with small blue flowers, and a blue shawl. "This dress is…very fetching," he said.

"And you have new clothes," she noticed.

"Well…they didn't have much as I hoped. But I just need one pair of britches and one shirt for going home. But…none fit so well as the shirts you made me back in Texas." His tongue was run-away. He took a big breath.

"There are at least three of those shirts at home in your trunk," she said.

"Bella Marie…." He looked around and they had an audience of sorts, some gawkers speaking behind their hands, and Alice off there, and Black trying to look like he was listening to Alice and idling about when he was doing sentry.

"I don't like that Black about," Edward blurted.

Bella closed her lovely eyes and put up her hand, and he spoke quick, "Alright, Bella. Alright. I come here to say…well…y'all get done with your studies…."

"Secondary Education."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm studying to be a teacher, Edward."

He shifted his new boots. "How's that?"

"A teacher. I only decided yesterday. I can determine the length of time I stay here, but at least a year of preparation is needed. Oh, it's going to be wonderful, I think." Her eyes were glassy with tears. But she could cry for either happy or sad. And she was smiling. "But books cost…."

"My money has come so don't you worry about that." He was trying to show that he was also very pleased, trouble was, he was far from it. He wanted her to be at this school, he did, but Black over there, and now she was to teach? That would be outside the home and she'd had that notion back in Texas to work in a mission, and that Black might feed this. Had he already prevailed on her? Could he influence her so quickly? Well…that was pretty powerful then…Black's influence on Bella.

"What's wrong?" she said, reading him so well.

"Nothing," he said. "I am…well aren't you regretful to see me leave here?"

"You said…you can't linger." She threaded her fingers together.

"I know. I had to wait for my money. You are set at the store now. Get what you need. Both you and Alice."

"I will be frugal," she said.

"Get what you need. You could wear a sack and you'd outshine any of these scholars around here."

"Outshine them? You would not believe how well read, well versed and accomplished some of these young women are. How can I possibly outshine them?"

She was pulling away, already mad at him. Well mad still, probably.

"I mean…you outshine them. You're like a rose amongst a field of clover. A…red rose. I mean a white one. You stand out, I mean."

"Are you blind? I'm a bumpkin. I'm a…a hayseed."

"Stop talking about yourself that way."

"You stop talking about me like I'm some kind of…flower. I'm not special, Edward. Only to you. And then, not special enough."

"Why do you keep condemning me every chance you get, girl? You have about killed me with what you said on the barge."

"I have class to attend, Edward."

"Darlin' girl, I wanted to say something important. But…why is Black spying on us?"

"On us? He is not spying, Edward. He is walking me to class."

"He's…what? Bella Marie I hoped I could trust you to be sensible…."

"Stop it right now."

"Stop what? Breathing?"

"Edward…you can't…you can't keep doing this to me. I'm so…confused. And I'm…I'm trying to grasp so many new things…and I miss…Mama so much…and Alameda…and I don't know if I'm smart enough…and they talk different…differently here…and the food…there is no sugar in the tea…and I'm afraid of the lemonade…."

"It's sweet as it can be…."

She stilled and gave him that look said he didn't understand a thing.

"Well…I had some…at the diner…." He quickly grabbed her hand. "Listen to me Bella…I told you I loved you…well…."

She yanked her hand away. "Edward…I'm trying not to fall apart. It's like…it's all caught up to me. I swear if you give me another one of your speeches I'll lose…."

He dropped to his knee. He heard some gasps from those nosey Yankee hens gathered round, and he could about hear the jaw drop on the Kiowa, and Alice Sue, he could feel her eyes on him like the sites of a rifle, but he pressed on, "Bella Marie…will you promise to marry me once you finish your schooling?" He already held one hand, and he reached forward and took the other, hankie and all, "Cause I can't live another second without knowing you'll be my wife. Well…this love…it's all consuming. From the day Pa brought you to us…well that was the best day of my life."

She fell right on him and he tettered some, but he held on, and she wept and he held her against him and he about squeezed the life out of her, and why oh why had he held off so long when this had to be the most glorious thing, to declare himself and get to hold this woman, this bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.

She was crying it out now, squeezing back and of uncommon strength for one so delicate in looks. And he stroked her hair, and after a minute he cracked one eye, but did not move a muscle from that tight lock he was in with her, but his eyeball was moving and he saw Black standing off, hands hanging limp, and Alice a little in front of Black, her hands on her hips but her mouth wide open.

And he grinned as his eyelid went closed again. And he swore he heard a choir hit a high note. He was so damn happy.


	30. Chapter 30

Left Texas today, headed to New Orleans. Here two nights then following the river up. Good-bye to Galveston, the place where the girls and Edward set off for college. This was the water route in those days for ranches kids going to school (usually boys), Galveston to New Orleans to St. Louis. Soon, the railroad would replace it, but not yet.

Well, I am in their skins. Onward and thank-ya for the very treasured and appreciated feedback.

Love Like a Hurricane 30

Bella Marie was pretty much sobbing now, there in Edward's arms. He did not know for sure how much time had come or gone. Hard to know time when you are in a state of bliss.

But time was dawning with the urgent tapping on his shoulder.

"Sir, Sir…." The school-marm's voice was saying.

Edward forced himself to look at the owner of the voice. What did she want?

"Please…you are causing quite a stir," she said, and it was the head mistress of this place, Miss Irina Gibbs. Well he'd met her first day when he and Jasper came back in to sign the papers. Well he signed. Jasper just glowered.

Bella was saying, "Oh," and sniffing and using the hankie. She pulled away from him, pushed off him he should say, like she'd been caught red-handed. Without her he was just another fool on his knees.

"Bella Marie," he said, content to ignore the marm, but that one was not dissuaded.

"Sir…Mister…Cullen is it? Sir, I would prevail on you to stand up," Miss Gibbs said. And to Bella, "Aren't you due in class, Miss Cullen?"

"Yes Ma'am," Bella said, her face scrunched with worry and woefulness. She was happy, wasn't she? Well he'd…been.

"Has some tragedy ensued? Or…." The marm Gibbs asked tipping her head back to peer at him over her spectacles.

"Well no," he said.

"I must say homesickness is quite common, Mr. Cullen. Your sister will generally have a better chance of adapting to her new circumstances when you have also adjusted to yours."

"Well I…." he said.

"And we recommend our students say their farewells as soon as possible so they can give their attention to a most demanding schedule."

"Yes Ma'am, I…." he said.

"So…if your business is finished…Bella Marie you are late." Marm dusted her hands. Clap and clap and Edward felt brushed off.

Bella Marie turned her watery eyes upon him. "Edward…I…." Well she was no more successful getting her words out than him.

"Well you never said, Bella," he said.

"Oh Edward," she looked from that marm to him, as if they'd both proposed, and they had, but two different things entirely.

"See here Ma'am. I am not yet ready to surrender Bella. Is this a school or a prison?"

"No," Bella whispered, and he wished to stop himself, he did, but a panic was settling in.

"I done proposed…to my Bella," he said.

"No," Bella whispered again, her eyes, so tragic.

"Proposed…what Sir?" Irina.

"Proposed…betrothal."

Miss Irina shook her head, shook it hard. "But…my understanding…are you not the brother? There were two of you, you and that handsome one, the quiet…but both related?"

"Well," Edward could see hellfire and judgment descending on his beloved. "Truth is…that other is her brother. But I am…her brother…but not. I am…more like a pa…or not pa…but the one responsible. And yes…she is family."

"Dear Lord," Miss Irina mumbled. "Young man. Perhaps this is for the best…don't you think, Bella?"

Bella nodded sadly.

"Good. Glad to see you're ready. I would see both of you in my office."

Edward looked around, and she'd taken care of the gawkers, sending them off. He looked at Bella, made to take her arm as Miss Irina was waiting for what he did not know. But Bella shook her head at him, like they should not touch. Like they were in big, big trouble.

Well not him. He ain't wore short pants in many a year. No Sir, not him. And he shrugged and straightened his shoulders and he and Bella followed Miss Irina in a straight line. And he kept his eyes nailed back of Bella's head, and he wondered what kind of mess was going on in that pretty little head. "Bella," he took her arm and pulled her back.

Miss Irina stopped and turned round and quipped, "This way Mr. Cullen. Keep moving."

Well hell, he'd like to take that old biddy along on a drive, he would. So he followed like a good mulie, his darling allowing him to hold onto her.

They got to the marm's office and she went in and asked them to wait a minute, and he did, shifting his feet as Bella Marie left him again and took the little hard chair the marm motioned to, one of two before her desk, and she motioned he should take the other but he already knew he wasn't going to try and perch on that thing, might as well try to perch on a high fence topped with barbed wire for comfort.

"What's this about Miss?" he said, standing tall. Well he'd done nothing but declare his love for Bella and ask her to be his wife. Well pull out the brass band is what he thought. Did they have one?

"One moment, Mr. Cullen," she said telling her segundo who sat outside her door at another one of these desks, that she was in need of Reverend Taylor. Okay. That was the canon. What the hell?

Well they were calling in another black coat. "Little soon, but you ready for the wedding?" he tried to joke to Bella, but she looked quickly away from him and resumed staring at the floor and he kept turning his hat round in his two big hands.

"Bella Marie?" he said all jovial, but there was worry in it. She wouldn't look at him.

Well in came the reverend then. Had the fine fat look the ones did didn't ride the circuit. Well studying scriptures and eating fried chicken didn't build the muscle. This one had the same spectacles and now he had two of them peering at him that way.

"What's this about?" he said. "We ain't blood…so you know…me and Bella Mar…." Well they were going to throw the Old Testament at him he figured. There was probably some curse for him other than Black being at this school.

The door opened and Jacob Black appeared. A big raven in the doorway then. Edward had the 'wh' on his lips ready to say, "What in the hell is he doing here?" but he did not get it out.

"Ah, here's Jacob," the reverend said, like this solved everything.

"Well now, let's gather round," Reverend said.

Jacob came forward then, stood other side of Bella. Edward pushed the chair aside and took a place, watching everyone and looking for weapons. He favored the rock holding papers on the desk. He saw himself bashing Black's skull with it. Kind of like Moses might do.

"Let's bow for prayer," Reverend said and now their heads were bowed, well Bella's always had been.

Bella took his hand and he was holding his hat in the other, but Miss Irina took that and he let go reluctantly for that was the first and last article he'd be surrendering peaceably. Then she took his hand in hers and they made a happy circle for ring around the rosy, and his hand started to sweat into the woman's and Bella said, "Edward," wincing cause he was squeezing her hand, and he left off some and tried to remember not to go right back to it.

"Heavenly Father," Old Windbag began, then he went on like they could, and Edward moved his toes in his new boots and they hurt some, well they weren't broke in at all, and then he heard the word, "Kiowa," and his hands jerked involuntarily and both Bella and Irina held on, now Bella was squeezing, and he squeezed a little back to let her know it was alright he was going for the rock anytime now and getting them both out of here.

Reverend was asking a blessing on the Kiowa people and going on about what a blessing Black was and thank you for sending him to them and let the air out of the bag, let it out loud, is what Edward thought…pffffft.

Edward cleared his throat and shifted his feet, and he wanted his hand out of Irina's, Lord it was embarrassing and what the hell were these folks up to touching him and roping him in with Black.

"Amen," he said and he couldn't believe it, cutting in to the reverend's prayer and all, it just came out. He stood there, Bella looking up at him like she could not believe. Well hell he hadn't meant it. It had come with the fury of wind after a plate of beans, or a man with the cholera as he remembered.

"Well," Reverend said, his face a high red, "we shall end it there."

Irina was giving him dirty dog looks, too, and Black was all patient, his hands folded now and not on Bella, thank God. He'd kept Bella's hand and the sweaty one was now free to drag itself on the leg of his britches to get Irina off.

"What's this about?" Edward said.

Reverend pulled out the chair and sat his ass upon it. Irina stood beside like the faithful wife, though she was no wife, but an old maid married to this school. Black stood other side of Bella and Edward ignored that silly chair. He never sat in an enemy camp, nor during an ambush.

Reverend cleared the holy out of his throat, "Mr. Cullen we had a meeting last night…with Miss Bella, concerning a matter raised by Mr. Black."

Edward felt his eyes start to bulge and his lips were stacking tight.

"I'll tell it," Bella said. She looked up at him and oh Lord…she'd given herself to Black. She'd spread herself for him in a fit of homesick lovelorn…it was his fault….he blamed himself….

"Edward…." Bella was clinging to his arm now, but her head fell and her shoulders shook and she did not seem able to go on.

"I forgive you," Edward said. "I'll take it on…I'll take you home. We'll get across it, girl."

"Edward," Black was saying.

Edward lifted his finger, thinking of that rock and how quickly he could grab it and chuck it right into Black's picket fence. "Don't you talk…Kiowa."

Well him saying Kiowa that way, he heard the old ones gasp. Well welcome to Texas. They're the ones closed that door and thought this room was big enough. There's some horses, you just don't step in to the corral with.

"Listen to me," Black said loudly.

Bella stood, her hand on each of them. "No." She lifted her head. "It is mine to tell." She looked at Edward and he swore his knees were gonna buckle.

"Girl," he said feeble.

"I don't ever want to hurt you. You been…my life," she said and she choked some but she was working on it so he waited, "Jacob Black…he thinks maybe…he thinks I'm his…sister."

Now that rock, Black wouldn't have been so quick it would have broke more than that window.


	31. Chapter 31

A grand thanks to you all. Still on the road. Wrote 30 in the car, laptop on my knees, posted it at a rest stop. Wrote this (31) in the car, some in a national park at a picnic table but the bugs drove me out. Ended up finishing it on the same road, very near to the final home of Andrew Jackson where he wrote his memoirs. Is that not incredible? I wrote it looking out at the Gulf of Mexico, just like Jackson.

I have been inspired by architecture, land, oak trees, bridges, water, bay and river, a barge and a tug and the tornados we were under! So inspired. Love and appreciate your words, readers. They bring an energy…just amazing. Best, best wishes to you C. And thanks for the weather report V. And to the reviewers who have such in-depth light to shine on this story…thank-you and much love.

Love Like a Hurricane 31

The world doesn't stop for anything. He knew that. Seemed like it should sometimes…just stop. But it never did. It dragged you through like your boot was caught in its stirrup and that horse was going to go no matter what and you were seeing the world on your back now…a whole new way of looking.

That was the best way he could say it. It was all upside down, underbelly in his face…perfect place to get pissed on, shit on, stomped, crushed and buried.

What had all the work been for? He wasn't new to love…he was not…and back of his mind he'd been working a long damn time…and for her. Yes for them all, yes, yes, yes, but her…she made it…no trouble. None at all. It was privilege. Not duty. Privilege. That preacher better know, he wasn't the only one serving something higher, bigger. Edward knew all about it. That's all.

So break the fiddle and the harp. There was no music in him now. That one had been waiting all along to blow this up. Maybe before he got her in the river. Maybe back in Texas for all Edward knew that Black had been waiting, no better than Tonico, not as out-right low, but low none-the-less.

Same target, same goal…taking away his Bella Marie.

Her so broken. Fear in her eyes. Fear. Tonico…Edward hadn't been able to stop it. But this one…Black…he would ruin this man.

Well they were scared of Edward. Bring out the burning torches, throw the rope over the limb. They had rebuked him for nearly hitting Black with the rock, and then that window with the colored glass going to hell…he'd desecrated the temple for sure and those two old ones, Irina and Reverend, their teeth flashing, their lips moving…they had nothing to say that fit his ears.

They loved Kiowa, but not one they reckoned posed as white. He wasn't a fool. You were something different they liked to bring you up, pat each other's backs, but if you were already up…and Bella was…his princess all her life…and soon his queen…they'd bring you down then.

"I'm taking Bella Marie and Alice Sue Cope out of this place right now. Y'all send someone for Alice. We'll wait outside."

He had Bella and he was backing out of there, he had not a weapon but himself and they were all appealing at once, even Black, he heard his name leap frogging over itself, and they cajoled, their arms wide and soft hands spread and hearts beating in their throats, yeah he saw that.

Soon as he got them free of the heavy door, they weren't going to stop…they'd keep going…him and Bella and little shit-fire…all the way to Texas.

"Don't hurt Miss Bella," Black said to Edward, sweat rolling over his cheeks that never did lose their fat proper.

Now that just shouldn't of been said at all. Hurt his Bella? Well that got the room quiet and he felt Bella stiffen in his arms.

"Don't you say her name, don't you look at her you lying dog," Edward said to Black. His voice was low and thick with all he could say now.

Bella had turned silently in Edward's arms and put her hands on his cheeks and held his face, and her head lifted some, her staring at his mouth, as if she could reason with it, silence his lips, "Shhh, shh, shh," she kept saying. "I need you to listen now."

She looked in his eyes and there it was all that deep dark wondering about herself. Whenever it came up, he'd always been there to bank the fire, to set her at ease.

His darling. But he could not speak to her, he could not gentle his voice now. He would fight them all for her. They'd ganged up. They'd had a meeting with her…a hanging committee. Black brought this…lie to the school…to destroy her…to force her toward him.

Behind Edward's back…while he'd been idling at the boarding house…Black had set this in their minds…in her mind…waited until he had her off…set Edward up so he would fail to protect her yet again.

Jasper knew. He knew what to do. They should have killed Black on the river.

Edward could kill him now. He wanted to…and given a chance…well Black followed him and Bella he'd be exchanging Almira College for the happy hunting grounds.

"We are leaving this place. Y'all need to hang your heads what you done here to this fine young lady," he said.

"Edward no," Bella whispered. She pulled away from him then, stood beside him, her hand on his arm. "No," she repeated.

And the Reverend said, "Mister Cullen…please simmer down. If you need some time to walk this off and collect yourself, we will wait. There is no need…we are not your enemies, we are not the enemies of Miss Cullen." The Reverend took a big white handkerchief from his inside pocket and wiped his lip. "We have students here and we cannot tolerate violence. Now we've sent for the law. Sheriff Toolie is coming here to protect you…to protect our students. That window came all the way from St. Louis in 1832."

This thing was growing…and they'd have him jailed pretty soon. They had no idea how much violence he was restraining, yes sir he was pulling hard on the reigns. "Bella Marie, we're leaving this place. You didn't have much to bring so leave it. Get Alice Sue and I'll be waiting outside."

"No Edward," she said urgently.

"Don't argue now. These folks don't have your best interest."

"I'm staying, Edward. You need to listen to Jacob. I know you don't want to, but I need you to listen. You need to know."

"Know what? He's a slandering scalper?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head and when she looked at him, she pulled at the lace collar at her throat. "You need to know what I am."

"I know exactly what you are. I told you…all your life. You're Cullen."

She was fixing to deny this. "I'm more. We both know. It's no secret how Pa brought me home."

"That's right. No reason for secrets," he said.

"I'm different," she whispered and he saw the determination grow. "I'm dark."

"Probably some Spanish. We know that."

"My mother was Spanish," Jacob said.

"You stay the hell out of my family," Edward said and it was loud enough the Methodists flinched.

"No, Edward. It was the same time. Jacob's family…my family…were killed in the same raid Pa rode in. Plemmer's raid, summer, 1854," she said.

"You listen to me, girl," he said through his teeth, "Pa's your family. I'm your family. We had no part in what happened to his," he motioned quick toward Black.

But she got louder and kept on, "It was known at the mission, old San Miguel's where Jacob was sent. The soldiers told Reverend Crowby, the man Jacob held close as a father, they said Jacob had a sister and one of the ranchers took her. They said the man wouldn't take Jacob. He had sons and he didn't want a Kiowa boy. But his wife pined for a girl." She stepped close to Edward, squeezing his arm, the wildness from discovery in her eyes. "Our Pa and those others…they killed Indians on the reservation, peaceful people who were trying to do what the soldiers said. It was a massacre of such size…it was known up and down Texas."

Edward had been shaking his head while she spoke. When he looked at Black that one stood board straight, angry looking and proud. Edward longed to knock him down. "Bella Marie…you been turned. You been lied to. He's judging Pa," and he pointed at Jacob, "and Pa ain't here to say. You're believing this lying dog and throwing off your own family. You think Mama wouldn't know? You think Mama wouldn't have said this? We took you in with joy. I was ten years old. I remember it like it was yesterday. You was in a saddle blanket and Mama was mad about that. And they'd wrapped you in a bandana for a diaper and tied the ends, and it was wet and Mama was furious. You cried and Mama fed you with a rag soaked in milk. Well I milked the cow myself. And Mama put butter on your lips. They were chapped and she tore some bedding to wrap you in and hand-sewed your first gown out of my old shirt. Mama…she bathed you every night in a pan on the table, and you were like a bleating lamb, so little and angry, and times she couldn't still you, I could. I'd take you on the breezeway and I'd sing…and…."

She had his hands and he'd pulled her to him. "Don't you let him tell you how it was…or who you are, girl. Our Pa, those ones on the reservation took to farming, but they'd hide those ones stealing our horses and picking us off while we worked our crops or rode the range. We couldn't live. Wasn't a family hadn't buried their kin. Sometimes the killing got started…," he shook his head. "Your Pa was a hero. Someone says different, they are not our friend. Pa came on the family…your dead family, and the Kiowa did it for vengeance. Your folks were mutilated. That wasn't soldiers." He looked then at Jacob, "That was y'all. Kiowa. Oh, we know you in Texas, boy. You got these fooled…but never me."

He turned to Bella then. "You go for Alice Sue and I'll be outside waiting."

"No," she whispered, her hands on his shoulders. "I can't."

"Bella…I…," he wanted to say, I asked you to marry me. But he was done letting these in on his business.

"Shh," she was telling him again. "I'm not going, Edward. I can't…outrun this…it's…me."

He tightened his hold on her. If she wanted dragged out, he'd oblige cause he wasn't leaving her here to be…degraded or looked down on with these lies. Just the notion made him murderous.

There was commotion outside the door then. Alice Sue showed, Jasper behind her. The sheriff was behind them, telling them to step aside, but neither one was moving, both were breathing hard like they'd run. They stared at Edward.

"Can you believe we come all the way to Illinois to get ambushed by Kiowa?" Edward said to Jasper.

That one wasn't smiling. He looked each of them over in the room there, the window too, and his eyes coming back to Jacob. The Reverend was introducing each of them, but Jasper ignored this like he was the one had no mama, no manners.

"He do something?" Jasper said, not looking anywhere but at Black. Most noticeable Alice hadn't told him. Maybe she didn't know.

The sheriff pushed past Jasper then and Alice Sue came in the small room and stood aside to let the lawman pass.

The sheriff whistled when he saw the window. "Well now that's a shame."

"It's regrettable," the reverend agreed and Edward figured he cared more about that glass than anything else.

"Sorry about the window. I was trying to kill me a stinking Kiowa," Edward told the sheriff.

That one had eyes bright as a bird. Fought in the war most likely, and not looking for a taste of it. His hair was gray and he probably liked things quiet.

"What he do?" Jasper asked again.

"Reckon me and you and the sheriff need to go outside to talk this out. There's not much I want to say in this company," Edward said.

The sheriff stood back. "I'll take that revolver," he said to Jasper. Jasper was slow about handing it over, but he complied. Edward held out his jacket to show he wasn't packing anything more than his ribs.

Before he left the room he told the girls, "You two, get goin' now…get your gear packed you want any of it. You ain't staying in here," Edward motioned to those around the desk, but he meant Black, of course, mostly, "to be poisoned."

"We leaving school?" Alice asked with interest.

"No," Bella said. "I'm staying, Edward." Then a wild look at Alice, "We both are," she said.

"I…didn't know we were leaving," Alice said, frowning.

"We ain't…are not," Bella said.

Edward shot her a furious look. "You got five minutes," he said. "After that, you might remember how Jasper did Alice at the bar-be-que." Well, he was through arguing.

He motioned for his brother to follow him and the sheriff outside.

"What's this about?" Jasper said again. "What did you do?"

Edward turned to him, for Jasper had stopped near the door.

"I'm not leaving those girls until I know," Jasper said. "You come up here without me and went for Bella, didn't you?"

"It's Black. He's bad as Tonico for wanting Bella. You better hope it's me…that's all I'm saying. Now come on."

"What he do?" Jasper called, looking back at that office where Black hid out.

Edward turned and walked quickly to Jasper. "You got some self-control you need to strap it on. That Kiowa grew up in San Miguel's. His family died in Plemmer's raid," Edward knew Jasper was fixing to say Plemmer led plenty of raids, same thing Edward had told himself before Bella gave him the year, 1854. Plemmer led none so big as in '54. It was distinguished by what was done. Jasper knew that. It was distinguished by Pa bringing Bella home.

"What's he saying?" Jasper said quiet.

Edward stalked off then, and turned a couple of times telling Jasper to come on.

Jasper finally moved his way. "It sounds real bad to outsiders. Don't expect these Yankees to know how it is in Texas," Edward said. Well it was real bad. All of it stank.

Just that walk outside, and the sheriff led them away from the building to the edge of the grounds. Oak leaves crunched under their boots and the three stood there, Jasper's gun stuck in the waist of that lawman's britches. He held his rifle relaxed at his side. "Now boys," he said, "reckon this school is not the place to settle you differences."

Here came the old reverend. He had Black in tow. Edward's guess was Black wanted a say in this. But he was looking to get shot.

The reverend told the story, and Edward filled in. It was what Edward knew with Jasper. He would take a word against Pa worse than one against Bella even. And he did. Edward had to restrain him, but with Edward still being weak the sheriff had to threaten arrest.

"I ain't gonna ask you to shake hands," that lawman said standing over Jasper for he had made the reverend take Black away and he'd made Jasper sit at the base of that oak tree. Well Jasper did it of his free will for no one could get him on the ground without a weapon. Jasper just dropped.

Bella having Kiowa blood, that hurt. But no one could tell Jasper anything about what Pa done riding in that raid, right or wrong. Jasper didn't waver there, nor had Edward by the way. But accusing Pa of bringing a Kiowa baby home. Of doing that to them, according to Jasper. That was nearly hateful the way he saw it.

"Why would he?" Jasper kept saying.

"Why you so quick to believe it?" Edward said and the sheriff looked at Edward like he was crazy not to.

"Mama knows," Jasper said. "Mama's got to say."

"Well Mama ain't here," Edward said.

"No…but we get those girls outta here and take them to Mama."

"We're taking them home," Edward said. "They ain't staying here another day. But you got to think all that way…she's your sister."

Jasper looked up at Edward, eyes intent. "And what she to you?"

Edward swallowed hard. He looked back to the school, but he did not see those two waiting like he'd said. Truth was, the next battle would be worse than any other. She was not staying here…with Black. He'd never allow it. She'd best not fort up against him. He would storm her gates.


	32. Chapter 32

Home again, home again, jiggity-jig.

Thanks for your words.

You can vote for this story if y'all are so inclined, at The Lemonade Stand. It's a cool site. Greatly informative for the reader and greatly supportive of the writer.

Love Like a Hurricane 32

This wasn't Texas. Well that's what the sheriff said when he escorted himself and Jasper off the grounds. "This ain't Texas, boys. Gonna have to move from head to drag around here. Why this school, Miss Irina heads this outfit. Not much back-up in that woman, so you-in's best step with ginger."

They'd won this fella some, well men that knew dust in their teeth and an honest day's sweat recognized their own kind. But they weren't kin, it wasn't like that, and this one had that Yankee twang which always meant there had been a day…two flags, two causes. But…that behind, according to that monument on the courthouse lawn and all, the sheriff still held Jasper's revolver, and he wore the badge, and he said Miss Irina did too, but he was not against them for its own sake.

The whole time he talked Edward watched for the girls to come like he'd told them they must.

But they did not come or show themselves at all. Of course they did not. Were they to make it so easy he must be dead and this heaven. So they did not show the whole time.

Was a more maddening woman ever put together than his Bella Maire was proving to be? Except for that other little Jenks spawn…no.

So he paced some, but not far for the sheriff's eye was sewn so tightly on him he could not go twenty paces without that one taking a step toward him as if he'd run. And after some minutes, here came a woman, but it was not his intended, it was Miss Irina, the envoy of those two who were hiding now, already favoring Black's style. Here she came to tell them something they most likely did not want to hear.

Seems Bella and Alice Sue had returned to class instead of getting packed and standing ready like he'd told them to. Miss Irina said Bella had been through a lot, as if Edward had not noticed.

Edward said, "Due respect, Ma'am, but this Jacob Black allowed to stir this…able to say whatever he wanted to and her no defense against him…if you're aware of her distress…why allow such a thing with me not even present…to confront…."

"Mr. Cullen," she cut him right off, "you need to know, Jacob Black only asked for the meeting with Miss Bella, Miss Alice, myself and the reverend, so the young woman could be supported should she understand the possibility in his astounding story. Jacob said his friendship with Bella Marie and Alice had grown on the way here with the extraordinary particulars of your journey. He admitted he did not have your or your brother's blessings upon it.

"But you should know, we wanted to send for you once we explained to her that Jacob wished our intervention. But she would not have it. She felt Miss Alice was enough. They are stronger than some sisters, those two."

Jasper snorted, and Edward felt some ire over parts of this story…well the whole thing.

Edward said, "Those girls were not allowed to speak with Black on the boat. We had a…set-to, and after that it wasn't allowed that they converse. I reckon they got an ear-full from him after the riverboat blew, but soon as I was on my feet I put a stop to it." Well he might as well go find him a squirrel in this big old tree they stood beneath and tell that aimless creature the same thing, for it was ridiculous. They'd been talking to Black all along and he now looked like a dumbfounded shit licker.

He turned away from her and said a, "Well damn," beneath his breath, then he pulled his hat off and realized it should have been off all along, and he just couldn't win here, so he turned back and apologized for his crude mouth and crushed his hat in his gormless hands.

"I shall live, Mr. Cullen. Mr. Black knew he was to speak this morning, hence his urgency about revealing his suspicions…well his near certainty…about Miss Bella's identity."

Jasper snorted again, and got back on his feet.

"You see, we brought Jacob Black to Almira College to tell every facet of his story. He had shielded the two very curious young women on the trip here, from his suspicions. But he knew he needed to be able to speak freely to the students once he got here. That is why he wanted Miss Bella properly prepared. He wanted to explain the details of what his family suffered to her, and the details of the raid, before he testified.

"He did speak honestly on the boat about his family and heritage, but not in as much depth as he brought in his sermon. He claims he honestly would have preferred talking this all out before he arrived, but under the circumstances that developed on the trip he felt that to do so would have been life threatening for him. And had you or Mr. Jasper…done something unfortunate toward him…it would have increased or even perpetuated the sorrow in his story."

"Right about that," Jasper said loud enough for them all to hear, and Edward growled in approval even though she'd lost him at 'perpetuated.'

"Yes," Miss Irina said bobbing her head as if they'd just 'amened' every raw and bloody idea she had about them. "And you wish to spirit your sister…Miss Bella away now," Miss Irina said, "and you can see how difficult the very notion is for her."

"No I cannot," Edward did say. "I am her family. I wish to bind myself to her in every way. Been a long damn, s'cuse me Ma'am, long time I bowed by knee. And I done it here before her and God and all of y'all."

"What are you…," Jasper dared to say.

"Shut your mouth," Edward yelled at him and it rang out. He looked back at Miss Irina, "I ain't a man of much letters and all, but I ain't never been what you'd call confused. I am Bella Marie's family. And something happens to her…it happens to me. Black has something to say to Bella Marie…something like what he said…he brings it to me or he cuts me in. He ain't man enough…he keeps his Kiowa mouth shut. He goes around me and I get wind of it…well I show up. I always will." He held her look and kept moving that hat round and round in his hands.

She studied him, or seemed to. She wasn't afraid of him, and that was good, he didn't want fear. He wanted respect. He knew it was earned. So he was doing the work.

She took in a big breath. "Though I'm twice your age, young man, you remind me of my father. And that's a compliment." She smiled. "But…some say I'm just like him. So I don't budge easily, Mr. Cullen. When it comes to this school," she gestured with her hand, "I can hold my ground a good long time. Good old Yankee stubbornness."

Jasper spat, hands on his hips.

"Well now you know how I feel about Bella Marie," he said.

"She's…very fortunate to have your devotion."

"Other way around," he said.

"Oh," she said, seeming truly enlightened, "I see. You truly are a man in love."

"Both kinds…brother…husband. For you go thinking that's strange I got to say it's not."

Jasper cursed and Edward held up his hand toward that one and went on, "I loved her like family. But we ain't blood. She has become more to me. I am…called to it."

She looked another good while. "You have used restraint? You are a man of honor?"

He figured he knew what she meant, and if he didn't, he wasn't asking with Jasper and the sheriff listening. There was that one time, after he was sick, and he peeked at Bella washing, and then what came after. But he planned to make good on it.

"I have," he said, looking away.

"Well then," she said, "will she have you?"

"Lord God," Jasper said, stalking off as far as the sheriff might allow.

"She…has not said," Edward answered. "She…is angry at me. She has been. She pretty well told me…I disappointed her. Well…she was wanting me to…and I…well she hasn't said yet. But she will. I ain't going to accept anything less than a yes. So you know."

Jasper kept grumbling so Edward turned to him then. "You got a better idea for this mess?"

Jasper glared at him. Edward was so sick of that pious look of his.

"But you proposed before this…mess?" she said. "You did."

"The call is still there, if that's what you're asking," he said.

"And if she is…of Indian heritage?" Irina asked.

He looked off, mad he had to keep saying it. "She's still my Bella," he said low.

Irina nodded, a smile in her eyes, even if her mouth was a straight line. "She does not hold to going home. If you force her…she will hold it against you. If it is love…true love…you must listen. You must be patient. You must cast your bread upon the waters…and if you prove a worthy man…it will come back to you. But Mr. Cullen, it may be the most courageous thing you've had to do yet…this casting."

"Well…how long does it take?" he asked. And afraid of sounding simple, he held off asking what the hell she was talking about, though he figured he knew.

"As long as it needs to. But there are no guarantees in this life, Mr. Cullen. That's what makes love so tragic…and so beautiful."

Jasper did that snort again. Edward slapped his hat on his leg. He didn't know if he could…let go. That's what this one was saying, dress it up anyway you can. He'd threatened to throw Bella over his shoulder and take her off…force her…but he'd seen how well that went for Jasper.

If she chose to stay, wasn't this just giving over to Black? How did he know Black wouldn't talk her into a band somewhere and disappear into old Mex or even up Canada way? She was so taken with Black right now, like he had all her roots in his hands, the answers to her longing to know herself. Well she couldn't know herself without him. Why couldn't she just agree?

Irina reached out and took hold of his arm. "It's my understanding that there are no cowards in Texas, Mr. Cullen. Am I correct?"

Well what was more courageous than taking to wife a Kiowa woman who started in life as his sister?

Not much he could think of. But all that was nothing…compared to the thought of losing her, really losing her. For if she rejected him as husband…Black was there as brother. And he'd have nothing left then. No shred of her.


	33. Chapter 33

Love Like a Hurricane 33

After Edward spoke with Miss Irina he turned to Jasper. "I reckon we will let this sit," he said.

"You speak for me? I do my own thinking," Jasper said.

"Take this off the school grounds," Sheriff said. He walked them up the street and told Jasper when he was ready to leave town he could find his gun locked in the safe in his office. He bid them g'day and walked off.

Jasper looked after and cursed a blue line. Edward knew, he'd gone through the war and never lost his weapon to a Yankee.

They were being stripped here, peeled down, but he put his hand on his belt and felt the fat money from Jenks and knew it wasn't true. "Damn it anyway," he said. He'd gone to Almira with the money, then got off track from Black's harangue, then got to thinking he was taking Bella home, then got told by Miss Irina to listen up. So now he did not know what the hell to do for he still harbored hope Bella would somehow come running, leap in to his arms and renounce this place, Black's foolery, and her reluctance to say, "I will."

This great undying optimism deep in himself had championed him most his life put there by a long line of fools who also failed to see obstacles and suffering as a reason to quit. How else could he have lasted this long in Texas? And how else, if there was truth in Black's story, could Pa think bringing home a Kiowa baby would end in them all farting sugarcane?

"I'm going to see if anything has come in on Tonico. If there's a lead on him I'm thinking me and you going for him would be just about perfect right now."

"Perfect?" Jasper pretty much sneered. "Ain't you heard our 'sister,'" he gave this word a particular pronunciation Edward liked about as much as cholera, "is Kiowa? That don't matter to you. You can't wait to mix blood."

Of all the things that happened this morning, and this included Jacob Black's bag of tricks, this…from his own brother…was the worst shit on the pile of shit.

Edward could not speak, not right off. He rocked back on the heels of his new boots, then forward some, then he stood flat and tall, his hands behind his back.

"Don't get that sass either," Jasper said, and Edward could not believe his ears.

"Jasper…what say you and me go outside of town, find a nice field, and see who walks out of it?" He was so serious he stared at his brother and did not feel the need to blink.

It had a mild effect on Jasper. He was return-staring pretty intently, trying to figure if Edward meant it.

"Oh I'm serious," he said to help Jasper out.

Jasper scratched over his jaw. He had the beginnings of a beard and it made a noise. "Lead the way," he said.

They walked with purpose then, far beyond the houses, into a field dotted with a few towering trees. This field was not plowed for crops, and the ground was hard and cracked with brittle grasses. They walked far enough they could not be seen as the ground had settled lower here. Edward did not want the sheriff to show and haul their asses to jail.

Once they felt satisfied they'd found their arena, they stripped off their new duds. Edward even took his shirt off. So Jasper did too. Then Edward took his boots off, and they kept going to their longjohns.

"This'll be like beatin' on a broomstick," Jasper said, his fists raised.

"I'm comin' headfirst right up your ass then," Edward said, proud to be so clever.

"That's where you belong. Man wants to bed his sister, mix our blood with Kiowa is most definitely shit."

Edward roared then, lost any semblance of self-possession or tactical plan. He'd waited a hellacious long time to do get some hits on this smug bastard he'd taught to pee in the mug without splashing.

But Jasper side-stepped neatly and Edward stumbled forward, rolled his foot on the husk of a black walnut and planted his backside hard against the earth.

But he knew no regret for God had delivered an effective weapon into his avenging hand. He picked up a couple of these wooden canon-balls and chucked them with force at his brother. That long length of self-righteous, judgmental, horse-shit went one way then the other to no avail for Edward had gotten him good.

So he was up on his feet and ready for round two.

Jasper's fists were up high and he was moving them. He'd fought this way since the war and it was ridiculous. Edward had taught him to go in low and get a man on the ground, then don't let him up, not ever, no matter if the Lord came and time was up, keep him down until he's limp and hopeless. That was Texas wrestling. But this thing Jasper did now…no wonder they lost the damn war. Tangling arms up high…it was mamby-pamby girl fighting.

So he had to laugh some…at Jasper. Just laugh, and spit a little blood cause he bit his damn tongue when that walnut tripped him.

But he laughed, hardy-har, and Jasper got closer and he had to laugh again for that one looked murderous and his murderous face always did make Edward laugh. And Jasper reached out lightening quick, one of his long arms and punched Edward right in his nose and his head snapped back and blood flew.

"Sheeeeee," he yelled. She-it he meant to say, but he never got to finish. Well he hated Jasper for ruining his face. How's that going to look to Miss Irina?

And that punch was good cause he could already see his nose more than usual. But it brought the man up in him, and he went in then, low, and took Jasper right down on his back and that one said, "Ooof." And what a joyful sound.

And he got on him, spread out his legs, and that one would have to work like a dozen men lifting a barge to get him off. That's if he had not been so long at death's door. As it was, his limbs got to shaking and Jasper pushed him off like he was a mosquito trying to catch his breath.

He lay on his back panting through his mouth as his nose was closing right up.

Jasper had sat up, wrists on his knees. He was looking off, like he couldn't stand the sight of Edward.

"If I," and Edward kept panting, "wasn't…." Well least said soonest mended. And who the hell cared.

He couldn't fight. He was half a man. Less. He was worthless.

"How you gonna kill Tonico?" Jasper said, still not looking at him.

"With my gun," he said like Jasper was addled.

"Let's hope you can hold that shaky hand still long enough to pull the trigger."

"Sweet…you caring and all."

Jasper did the snort. Favorite word, that snort.

After a while, Edward pulled in a big breath. "You ever stop to think what's done is long time done and you and me are just catching up to it?"

"So what?"

"Thing of it…we can't change it." Edward's voice sounded like he held his nose closed. But he did not. He could not touch it throbbing this way.

"What about Bella Marie?" Jasper dared say.

"What about her?"

"It's one thing she's our sister. That goes on…alright. Mama will want it. She knows the truth already and it didn't matter to her. But to go on and make her wife? I never agreed, even before this came up with Black. I don't agree."

"Why?"

"Cause it's wrong. I'm her so called brother too, and I could never make the move you've made. And don't tell me you never…that old woman asked you if you been honorable, I seen it. You've toed over. You tried to tell me different, but you're a liar. Y'all are liars, the whole bunch of ya'll. You marry her and mix blood…our family becomes Kiowa."

"Good shit," Edward whispered. "You got a point."

"You'll do that to us. She stays sister…alright. We'll hunker down. You breed with her…we're red. Cullen means Kiowa. What world you plan to live in? Better get on with the Methodists. Maybe they need a man to mop the floors. Cause you do this, marry Bella, you're finished in Texas. "

"Sure…that's right," he whispered again. Only now he sat upright with a walnut in either hand. Jasper didn't know what hit him when Edward used them either side of his head.

Jasper struck out quick and Edward was soon on his back again, huffing away. That effort he'd just made to use those husks like crashing cymbals, Jasper's head between, had been successful. Jasper was still hitting him. But it didn't hurt so much. And he was laughing again.

Jasper left off then, a sound of disgust. He was dusting himself off and going for his britches when Edward hit him middle of the back with a walnut. It bounced high, but Jasper cursed and turned around. "You're a damn crazy man."

Edward fell on his back laughing. Of course he'd landed on a walnut.

Jasper got dressed with awkward, angry movements. "Hey there, Apiatan. Hacho, boy," he mimicked Edward's future son. "Apiatan Cullen. Now there's a handle will get a man far in Texas."

Edward wasn't laughing now. He wondered if he was crazy. He looked up at the sky and stilled some. He'd thought he was laid out by the idea of who Bella might be…but truth was, it wasn't so bad laid so low. He could see more of the sky this way.

They were walking out of the field when they saw him get off the train. He was some distance, but he stood out. "That's Hybrow," Edward said in that plugged voice. They both came to still.

"We'll put him in that Shoal Creek," Jasper said. He'd had days to scour the countryside on that rented horse.

Edward fell back, but Jasper approached Hybrow for a light. He reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a broken cheroot. Must of stepped on it when he'd stripped in the field or something. Jasper tore off the dangling end and held up the good part.

Hybrow spoke and Jasper put it back in his pocket. Guess Hybrow had lost his matches. Well…he wouldn't be needing them…or anything much near future.

Jasper started to walk with him. Edward had to hide a smile. Jasper really could be social need be. He'd not of thought so. But oh, he wanted this chickadee. They both did.

So here they came, Jasper laughing about something Hybrow said, and they closed in on Edward's hiding place side of the livery. Jasper was talking the war now and Hybrow was saying, "That so?"

Jasper walked outside, Hybrow nearest the building. Jasper gave Hybrow a hard shove and Edward had to leap his bag for it flew out of Hybrow's grasp and he followed, big man though he was, falling to the ground.

Then Edward was on him before he could call out, sitting on Hybrow's stomach, his hands over Hybrow's mouth.

Hybrow submitted right off. He was a wiley fucker who knew when he was bested. But Edward's limbs started that shaking and Jasper pulled Edward right off and pulled Hybrow up after. Jasper pushed Hybrow against the wall of the building then and got up in his face. Same time he felt under Hybrow's coat and took his gun. Then he held it under Hybrow's goatee.

"What's this about?" Hybrow was saying.

"We're gonna walk outta here real quiet. We need to talk," Jasper.

"I got money," Hybrow said.

"We don't want your money you dudolo." Jasper pushed Hybrow some ahead and walked behind, Hybrow's gun on him. Edward quickly followed.

They went right back to that field and when Jasper was satisfied Jasper said, "Stop."

That Hybrow turned then. "What's this about boys?'

"Where's Tonico?" Edward said.

Hybrow squinted at Edward like there was something familiar. "I know you?"

"Answer," Jasper said, cocking the gun.

Hybrow's hands went up. "Hold on, son. Tonico is dead. Anyone can tell you that."

"What's your business here?" Jasper asked.

"Why…land speculation," Hybrow said.

"Shoot him," Edward said, not expecting Jasper to do it for they weren't that far from town that someone might come to look.

But Jasper did shoot him in the leg.

Hybrow went down on his good knee with a great deal of noise.

"What…?" Edward said, but Jasper put his hand out and restrained Edward from moving forward.

"Who are you?" Hybrow asked.

"You come for Alice Sue," Jasper said taking quick strides to where Hybrow writhed in pain. He put the gun to Hybrow's forehead and cocked the hammer.

"I…just wanted to…I…her and me…."

Jasper shot Hybrow in the head. Close up, in small, out big and red flew. Hybrow went back and lay still. Jasper tucked that gun in his waist and took the big man by the feet. Jasper commenced to dragging Hybrow in to the treeline.

"Get some of those walnuts set up on that log yonder," Jasper said straining with Hybrow's weight.

Edward quickly gathered the husks and lined some of them up on the log.

Soon as Hybrow was hidden out of sight a sweaty Jasper came out from the trees. Edward had already ditched Hybrow's bag behind a stump and was covering the tracks where Hybrow had bled and then been dragged by raking over it all with a big stick and kicking debris over the red.

Jasper, meanwhile, began shooting at the walnuts like he was doing target shooting.

The sheriff showed up pretty soon after that.

He was angry they had another weapon they'd hidden from him, and he took that one, too. Then he laid a fine of ten dollars, and that was a near fortune, but Edward had Jenk's money on him. He paid it right there.

Then he noticed the blood on Jasper and that one motioned to Edward's face.

He gave them a hell of a lecture, about settling down or some such, and he thanked God it was a dry country and folks around here did not choose to live in the wild west. And they should come to Jesus for he had been angry like them once, and had seen others, angry men just aimless and looking for trouble, and they were married now and pillars of society.

Edward tried his best to stand in the sheriff's line of site that led to the spot of execution and look deeply affected by his speech. He even nodded his head a few times and were there an altar to kneel before he'd fall upon it. For he was wore out.

With their gun and their money and a warning they needed to finish their business and get the hell out of town, the sheriff stalked back toward the civilized.

Edward had such a pounding in his face. He tenderly touched his nose. "I think it's broke," he said.

"I'm going to drag him deeper in and hide him," Jasper said. "You go back to town and sit on the porch."

"Well that's mighty kind of you…," Edward said, but Jasper cut in.

"I get done I'm gonna clean up some. Then I'm going for Alice."

"You heard Miss Irina," Edward warned. He did not want Jasper taking Alice from Bella. If he was to cast his love in the waters, a damn bad likeness considering what they'd gone through on the Mississippi, but if he were to do it, he at least wanted Alice Sue cast with her. She couldn't be alone here, just her and Black, the two…Kiowa. Alice Sue's presence was all the comfort he had for his girl.

But Jasper actually chuckled. "I think our luck is changing."

"You need to leave Alice Sue right where she is."

"Why's that? I crook my finger, she's gonna come running."

"Not so far."

"I ain't gone the distance yet. You'll see." He went off whistling then. His joy was downright sickening.


	34. Chapter 34

Love Like a Hurricane 34

Jasper put Hybrow down an old well. And his bag after. It was a long abandoned homestead there in the woods, the well open to him, a black mouth dark and deep, hungry to swallow Hybrow right down, Jasper said.

Edward knew he shouldn't laugh at such, but it did hit him as funny.

Not Hybrow. Soon as he stepped off the train he pronounced himself guilty. All they'd required was he show up for Alice…and he had. Jasper watched the bait and the fish came right along. It felt good to finally be able to set the line, to finally say hell no.

What made a man? Actions. Pa got that in him before he died and he got it in Jasper. Actions made the man. A man gave his word, but there'd better be actions to back it.

Folks got blindsided by words. But Pa said never be confused by what a man says. What he does is what will tell.

But the thing that brought the smile to Edward… Jasper off riding this countryside looking for where Hybrow's body was going all this time. Him looking peaceable as he rode that rented horse. Folks just never knew by looking…they surely didn't. But, Jasper was newly particular about doing a job right. Alice had already changed him in that regard.

The girl at the diner saw to it Edward had ice for his nose. They cut it every winter and filled a shed out back, and they served their icy drinks that way, and it felt like an angel's cold kiss across the bridge where things got moved from Jasper's punch.

Earlier when Edward had inquired at The Advocate, the editor said Tonico's obituary never did run in New Orleans. Word was, he was there. Whether true or legend was anyone's guess. Edward was headed there very soon. And he did mean very…very soon.

Now he had to keep an eye on Jasper, who was at the barber. That one was cleaning up, washing up, barbering up like he was getting ready to do something grand. Edward spruced up some, but his broken nose was like a Christmas tree planted right between his eyes. He bought another shirt, but he could not keep such frivolous expenses going. His money was low to the ground and he needed to get home.

But he did dandy up, and when Jasper took off for the school, Edward was right behind. Much as he missed Bella Marie, he would have liked some time to let his nose calm some, and let the killing of Hybrow drop off some more, let the idea of casting her on the water settle some.

But Jasper was lead dog now and that one was walking like a man with a club between his legs. It was just ridiculous the swagger. Killing Hybrow had sure been a boost to his spirits. Edward would not call Jasper sanguine, exactly, but he no longer glowered either. It was a new face, nearly approachable, though not quite for Jasper was still pretty mad about the walnut husks Edward beaned him with. Jasper said he had two lumps in his hair from that and Edward said they were horns poking through. Longhorns. But Jasper did not find this funny for his hat aggravated the soreness so he had to carry that, but his new barbered hair was slickered with pomade, and shiny yellow, almost like a halo had melted over it. But hardly.

Edward had never been the weak one before. And he kind of liked it. Suppose Jasper had been born first. Edward liked to think of all the work he wouldn't of had to do for one thing. Anyone had a right to grouch it was him, not Jasper.

But his fate had been oldest son. This weakness was temporary, then he could take the land back from the Indians just like he done after the war, only this time, the land was his birthright, and the Indians were Jasper.

So they got to the school and the students were milling about some, but it was chilly now, and the big hall there was a-light. Jasper asked a group of young women where Alice Sue Cope could be found, and they giggled together and one young lady pointed at the lighted hall and he followed Jasper there. He turned and looked at those girls as they walked away for they were giggling fresh and he knew there was not a hole in his britches for his coat went over his hips, and they were all smiles at him and he thought, Lord, God, it's this beak of mine.

In the hall there was some kind of gas lights giving the place a fair glow, and he did not see his Bella Marie amongst these ones, nor Alice Sue for he was trained to spot them at a glance.

Jasper whisked past him, muttering blue words, and he turned and followed.

He did not hope to see Black about now. How he wished he could say, "Hybrow's in the ground and you're next, Kiowa," but no this was not Texas, he understood that.

Then he did see Black and he pointed it out to Jasper. Black was standing on the porch at a small cabin on the far side of these school grounds. He was smoking a pipe and pacing on that porch and reading a book all at once, looked like. It was dark enough you couldn't tell, but there was moon.

So he got abreast of Jasper at least, then passed him a little and they reached Black.

Black did startle some to see him and Jasper. It was gratifying. "Where's Bella Marie?" Edward said.

Black was taking that pipe from his lips.

"They grow peyote round here?" Jasper said.

Black showed nothing, but that knob in his throat bobbed some. "Does she know you're about?" Black asked Edward.

That remark, him telling Edward not to hurt Bella, that was in Edward's mind. "You ain't over me comes to Bella," he said. "She is my kin. Where is she?" Well he was mad enough he could see them putting Black over Hybrow, them two stacked for all time like ham on biscuit.

Black motioned with his pipe toward another of those four cabins. It was two down from him and soft light showed from the covered window.

Well Edward didn't like Bella set off like this and close to Black. "What's this about?"

"These are the cabins…for the others. Bella wants to be here. She insisted on it," Black said.

"Miss Cullen to you redskin," Jasper hissed. "You think we're fooled by that monkey suit?"

"You tellin' me these are for Indians?" Edward said.

"Sometimes. For those not Anglo," Jacob said.

"What in the hell…?" Well it was starting already. Edward felt his head about ready to burst. They put her out here? "All on your damn say. Our paths cross away from here…." He dared not finish.

"She wants this. She's not used to the dormitory. It's her choice…and Alice…Miss Cope chooses to be with her." He held the pipe and the book, his Kiowa courage on his face.

"Don't you tell me about her," Edward said.

"Kiowa don't fight for what they own, cause they don't own nothin'," Jasper said. "But we ain't Kiowa. And she ain't either," Jasper said.

"My people fight for honor," Jacob said. "And I've been honorable."

Jasper went off about Kiowa and honor, and Edward spoke over him, "Not on that barge. You knew you shouldn't of been talking to our women. And you saved your big move for here," Edward said.

"No," Jacob denied.

"Didn't even have the sand to bring us some stolen ponies. Just expected us to hand her over. Dumb Kiowa," Jasper said, spitting near Jacob's feet then laughing.

Edward got a little closer to Black's porch. "You disrespected us, our family. And you ain't been honorable how you done Bella. I won't ever forget it. You think you're safe here? Look at us now…here we are. Didn't have so much as a paper doll say boo. Y'all think we won't do what we got to? What we should? Well…you toe off here…it's all Texas, Indian. You open your mouth again about Bella…," anger closed Edward's throat.

"I will protect Miss Bella while I am here," Black cut in. "As I always have…in the river…in Memphis when we had to go back to find you…they were alone, they had no one. It was me who stayed with them, ready to do whatever they needed. I led her past the bodies lined on the shore. I stayed with her and made sure she was safe, made sure Alice…Miss Cope was taken in by good people, then slept on the porch while she tended you. And I tended you, burned your sickness, opened myself to the white diseases we have no medicine against. I protected her here. When you are gone…back in Texas…I will still protect Miss Bella. With my life." Jacob clapped the book to his chest.

He left Edward and Jasper speechless for a moment. Edward hated the depth of their obligation.

"Most we'd do at home is cut you a beef to feed your squaw," Jasper said. "That would go with the ten you already stole from us. That's how it goes. Comes to Bella, she owes you nothin', Kiowa. No matter what you done, she ain't your prize, nor the other. They ain't!"

But a part of Edward…some damn part that wasn't outraged or jealous…some damn part of him looked at Jacob's actions and knew he was speaking truth. He'd already acknowledged it, but it hit him fresh, with all that had gone on since they got here. He had done Bella and Alice like they were kin.

But telling Miss Irina and the reverend his suspicions on Bella being kin, Edward would never agree with Black's move there and he didn't trust him.

"Nothing changes Bella being ours. We're her family. She don't need some loyal dog, but I hear different…anything at all I don't like…well this is Texas, too. The whole world…is Texas. There's no where you can ever go we won't find you for reckoning. Case you got doubt. You'll be on this porch reading your book and we'll be here just like now, but it won't be like now at all…us being patient…it won't be this, but a knife in your liver, that book on the porch and nothing else, not even a scuff from your boots. You just gone…," Edward said.

"Just another dead Kiowa the world don't need," Jasper added.

He left Black to chew on that and stalked to Bella's then. He knew Jasper followed for that one couldn't stop cursing. "I had him in that river I knew to finish him," Jasper was saying.

He'd of gone further tonight, Edward knew, if he'd put killing Black into play Jasper wouldn't have questioned it even though they'd practically come on these grounds with a band.

But this was not the time. He was knocking solid on her door now, "Bella Marie?"

The door whipped open and there she stood, and he knew such relief he gripped the frame. "This where they put you? You not good enough? They put you with Black?"

He didn't know her dress, or the way she'd pinned her hair. She looked serious…but beautiful, like always. Thin. Always thin, but thinner now…. From the trip? He hadn't noticed before.

"Bella?"

"I…are you supposed to be here?" she said soft, but he could see he made her nervous.

"Where is Alice?" Jasper asked her over Edward's shoulder.

"She is at chapel…trying for a spot in the choir," Bella said.

Jasper went off then to find her.

"Hold on," Edward called but Jasper ignored him. He turned to Bella and muttered, "He's tail out."

Well Jasper better not do something loco.

But he was already softening looking at her, her beauty…no matter when or where, she grabbed his heart and squeezed. His eyes had missed her. He had to remind himself he was upset, "Bella Marie…you think I'm going to allow this? Them setting you out of that dormitory?"

"I don't like it there with so many. I won't be able to study in there. I asked to come here. This is more private."

He kept staring at her. "You telling me the truth?"

"Yes."

"You would never go off with Black, would you?"

"Go off where?"

"Indian nation…south or north? You swear to me you would not?"

"You think I would?" she said and she folded her arms.

Frankly, he did not know anything anymore.

"Well…you gonna let me in?"

"What happened to your nose?" she looked closer now. "Jacob?" She said this like he was given to beating children.

Edward snorted, but it didn't sound right. "I ain't touched him. I…hit a limb…walked into it. A tree limb, not one of Black's."

She did not look convinced. "There are rules here. I am not to entertain non-students in…my room. Mine and Alice's. She is…my room-mate."

Edward looked over her shoulder, noting the plain sufficiency of this small shelter. "Come out then," he said standing back.

"I…I can't."

They stared some.

"What have you been up to?" she whispered. "Something. I can see it."

"What," he said. "Nothing…waiting. And waiting. You didn't show…earlier. Like I said…you and Alice. Now you're looking settled in…and Alice joining up…," he turned toward the chapel and threw out a hand. "Just here to see which way the wind is blowing."

"Edward," she whispered, some rebuke.

"What am I supposed to do, Bella? I gave you the bottom-line. Marry me." He grinned some but it hurt too much to hold it and he felt less and less jolly.

"You just want it to go your way," she said.

"No…well hell yes I do. What's wrong with that?" He pictured her leaping onto the saddle behind him like she'd done all her life, though he had no saddle, no horse.

She tsked and reached for his nose, and he drew back before he thought, then she pulled back her hand, then he grabbed her wrist, and looked around and pushed her back and stepped in and closed the door.

"There are rules," she whispered.

"There are," he said. "Man goes on a knee and asks…the woman says yes." He took the arm he'd grabbed and situated her hand behind his neck. She wasn't fighting it.

"Edward…I am staying here. How can I marry you?" Her eyes…so sad and dark….

"Marry me and I'll go home."

"That is…we haven't even talked to Mama. And you know we need to. Not only about marrying…but I'm…well you know what I am."

"I do. I ain't gonna keep saying it. I don't have to. You're the woman I want." He fished in the folds of her dress for the other hand and put that behind his neck as well. When she kept them there he put his hands on her waist.

"It's difficult here, I told you. I don't think I've had near enough schooling for college. I'm…I'm going to have to work so hard…you need to go home," she said, but she didn't move her hands…or his, and he pulled her in some.

"I'm glad for this whole thing…the hell of it…all of it. You know why?"

She shook her head a little.

"I got to see you a new way. I nearly had to die and all…well you too…but we ain't dead afterall. We're young…we're…strong…or getting there. We got some years. And I want them with you."

Her lips…he was dying to kiss her.

She said low, "You pity me."

He shook her a little, but he pulled her all the way in then. She stood against him but she let her arms drop. He put his arms around her. "I know how I feel," he said against her ear. Then he kissed that ear and she groaned a little.

"Edward…they'll expel me, I swear." But she'd gripped his arms.

"You marry me," he said.

"I…you have to stop asking. It's all I ever wanted. All I ever did. If you'd of asked back home like I wanted…." She put her fists on his shoulders.

"I am asking," he said louder, pulling back to look in her face. "Answer me." Well, this was not casting bread…but maybe it was. He wasn't entirely sure.

"Edward…I can't. Not…right now."

"When?"

"I…I have to be here. I have to have time…."

"For what? You won't go home with me…you want to stay here…what if you change your mind and I'm gone? Cause I can't stay here, girl. I've got to get home…."

"I know. I…want you to…go home."

"So you can do what you're gonna," he said. "So you can be this Indian girl and let Black fill you with poison."

"No," she said pulling away and he groaned. She put the table between them. "If I'm…Kiowa…it will change how folks look at us."

"Only at first and who the hell…I ain't asking their permission. I don't ask nobody if I can live."

"Edward, you like to be well thought of. You are a proud man."

"And you are the woman I want. Because I am a proud man. Anyone has anything to say on it they can drive my cattle to Abilene and pay my debts, they can die on the cross for me while they are at it." He rushed around that table and she was stuck watching him. He stopped shy of grabbing on to her, but he reached out his hand and dragged a finger down her arm. "Jasper wants to take Alice away."

Bella said, "It's what she's dreamed of…life with Jasper. But he's been so…she meant what she said. There's a meanness in him. Edward…I meant what I said. Jacob Black…I will not choose between you. I love you…I always have. But Jacob is important to me now. I can't…I won't cut him out. If he is my brother…he's blood."

"He's nothing. We don't need Black. Or his blood," he said.

"See there? I marry you I'll have no say at all. And I do not agree with you about Jacob. He saved my life. He worked to save yours. I can't take on your hate."

He could not believe this woman. "That it?" He told himself not to do it this way, not to put her in a corner. Miss Irina had told him the same thing. That's what she had meant. He blew a big breath. "Me and Black gonna hold hands and be your brothers then? I'll put a bunk over my bed back home and we'll teach him how to live in our house, he'll make us new moccasins."

"You'll never change," she said.

That hurt him. "I have changed. You won't see it. I have laid myself out. You're pickin' that Kiowa over me. That's it. It ain't even school. It's him."

He went to the door, his hand upon the latch. "I'll pay the school…then I'm taking the first train out of here. You won't have to worry about Tonico comes time to come home…assuming you're coming home when you're done here. I'm…still your family if nothing else."

Once outside he walked quickly, and here came Alice Sue running from the other direction, tears streaming down her face.

"Alice," he said, lest that one would run on by.

Alice stopped, her skirts swirling.

"What happened?" He did not see Jasper.

"That polecat asked me to marry him, that's what." Then she took off and went in Bella's cabin and though Edward could not hear what she said he heard the high pitch of her voice as she went on to Bella.

He stalked off the grounds then. God forbid he should get Bella expelled.

Well she wanted no part of him seemed like. How had Black gotten such a grip on her?

The most desultory thing was when he went to the train next morning and bought a ticket. After that he went to the school and paid the money for tuition for both girls, and then for the window he broke. Miss Irina took his money happily, of course. He asked her why Bella was put off in that cabin and she said Bella needed time and patience now and those cabins were for the ones needing extra care.

"That wouldn't be those ain't Anglo?" he asked.

"Sometimes," she agreed, but she was watching him. He looked at that window with the big hole in the middle of the colored glass. Well, he'd made his mark here.

He took a minute to gather his words. "I wouldn't want her treated different cause of some Kiowa fairy story."

"You have made that clear, Mister Cullen. If Bella distinguishes herself here at Almira, it will be for other types of merit, I am sure."

Miss Irina did not comment on Edward's nose. And he did not press her for saying being Kiowa was merit.

Jasper was already gone. He'd crooked his finger and got rejected for his trouble. He'd hitched a ride on a freight wagon to East St. Louis. He and Edward planned to meet up there and find a way downriver to New Orleans.

After idling most the day, Edward had only to wake in the morning and wait for the train. Well, he'd brought Bella here to do just this, her and Alice. And now he was fixing to be done with it, he was broken hearted.

The back and forth of it had left him wore out. He had to back away. Miss Irina was right about casting Bella Marie away and he'd gone against it. He hadn't planned to, but he saw Bella and reason seemed to leave him. He had a duty toward her, finding Tonico. If he was in the ground already Edward needed to put his boots on it. If he was alive, it included more.

Either way, Edward was out of time. He tried to read some Shakespeare before turning in, but he bounced upon the words and could not enter them.

It was the second time he heard that noise and realized someone was at his window. He went there and pulled back the lace curtain and there she was, her nose nearly on the glass.

He pulled the window up. "What are you doing?" he whispered, reaching for her, wanting to bring her inside.

"If I get caught…," she said.

"You shouldn't be about by yourself…in the dark. How am I supposed to leave you on your own?"

"You can calm yourself Edward. The only Kiowa around here are me and Jacob."

"You don't know that," he hissed.

"You don't either. But you do. You know it same as me."

He sat to pull on his boots, then he pulled on his shirt.

"I want you to stay put," she said.

"You can want anything at all, but I never left you to roam in the dark and I ain't gonna start now."

He stepped out the window then.

"Don't…," she meant not to touch her and she backed off.

"I came out here to see you back to that school," he said.

"Fact is, I came to say something. I know Jasper left and I asked Jacob to find out if you were still here and what room."

Edward looked beyond her into the dark surround. "Reckon he's sneakin' again."

"No…just…I have tried," she looked at him, grave face, her hair braided and lying over her shoulder. He liked that best…well whatever she did was best. "I cried myself to sleep. If I slept at all. Then today, not knowing where you were, if you were near…I…I will always love you. And…well…."

"I'll wait," he said. "But you got to promise me…you got to say you'll wait for me…that you promise yourself to me and nothing breaks that." He did approach her now.

"I…I don't know what to say. What if…what if Mama says it's true?"

"I told you it don't matter."

"You won't accept Jacob. He's a part of my life now."

"I don't care who or what…he's a jack ass."

"I want to horse whip you when you say things like that," she said.

"You gonna miss me?"

She hesitated. "Yes. But you are tearing me in two. You hate what I am."

"When I ever hate you?"

"You show it to Jacob. He's a man you hate…a good man you're beholding to. But you hate him for what he is. You show your real self with him. That's why you tear me in two."

"Girl we are walking a circle and it's old already. I don't hate a thing about you."

"If I marry you, you'll forbid me to know Jacob. And like it or don't, Edward, Jacob is my friend. No matter if he's brother or not, he's my friend. And I can't give you say over me when you hate like you do. So right off…I can't obey. Well, I won't. I've got my own mind…and I'm fixing to get smarter, and I already know I can't be a simple rancher's wife just doing what I'm told. I've…seen things about myself. There's more to me than I knew. The easy thing would be to go home with you. But it wouldn't be the right thing. I hope you won't take this wrong. None of it is your fault. But…I can't marry someone who…I can't stand against if I need to, and with you…I just cave in…like little sis, and I won't be sis, I'll be your wife…standing beside you. I…love you so much…but I could hate you someday too. And…I'd rather die than live to see that." She let out a big breath. "My Lord, I finally…said something."

"Now who's the coward," he said mad.

She held up her finger, "One more thing. You ever figure, Pa brought me home, knowing. He must not have hated all the Kiowa. He gave me to Mama. And he loved Mama. She said he loved her strong. She said all the Cullen men loved strong. They didn't know another way. She said when they were wrong…they were terribly wrong. But when they were right…they were glorious. And came to love…she said they loved like a hurricane…they just did."

He grabbed hold of her then and pulled her to him and he put his lips on hers, and not so gentle, and he melted into her, pulled her up to him, bowed her body in to his, lifted her so easy, his arm under her backside and he touched her just enough wrong she couldn't deny his intent and what he longed for. He wanted her to know, he wasn't looking for a sister. He wanted his other.

He left off kissing her sweet mouth, Lord, God he was trying to show her but she was horse whipping him…her kisses about taking him over and her breathing the sound and flutter, could he be with her he would never leave her. This girl…this girl…. And her hands on his face and her kissing him, and him allowing her to do it, and his groan, his hands clutching her.

"Edward," she whispered, and she cried, "I love you so much. I love you."

He knew. He wanted to show her…he didn't have any more words, but now he didn't know if he could stop. He held her, swayed them side to side, her feet off the ground. He kept kissing her. They were damn good at it, like they'd done it forever, it was so right. "I want you…like a woman. Not a sister," he said low and desperate. "My body…wants yours. All the time. You laying on me that night…I can still feel it." He kissed her some more then, and he felt it in them both, and this would be the last thing to make them one for it was firing through them.

"I feel it too," she said, "that night…even in chapel I think of it…my breasts pressed against you…I want to be with you as wife. I want to give myself to you."

He held the back of her head with one hand, he was a crazy man for her lips, for her body, her words and her hot dark skin.

"Say yes to me," he said as he kissed down her throat. "Say yes."

She slurred a long languid yes, her head thrown back as she whimpered, and her legs came up around him and he shifted her and she was right on him, and he pressed her against the side of the house and leaned his hard as wood pecker right into her womanly place, the place he dreamed about.

"You mine?" He stilled now, looking at her lovely face, her eyes filled with virgin lust and oh he savored that look she prized on him.

"Always."

"You burn for me? Say it."

"I burn for you…Edward Cullen."

He leaned his head and kissed over her breasts, over her dress, he didn't care, he'd never do this if he hadn't already given over, completely, no hold back given himself to this girl.

He bucked his hips against her. He hadn't meant to…hadn't meant not to. Something else took over and he knew she was his. She had always been his.

"You think there's a part of you I don't want?"

She shook her head, tears in her eyes.

"That's right. Don't you ever duck your head around me. I know you. And you showed me yourself that night."

"Not everything," she said. "Things I think…but I am yours. I belong to you."

"And I belong to you," he said.

She moved her body so they were touching as tightly as they could and he leaned in to her.

"I could reach glory just pressing on you like this," he whispered.

"Do it," she said.

He kissed her again and she opened her mouth to him and he went pretty wild, his tongue, and his hand over her dress on her breast. "Baby girl…darlin'," he gasped and he rocked in to her, and she was panting, and his hand went down on her and he moved back enough to cup her womanly place and she writhed with abandon and he pressed in, her dress still between his hand and her flesh and he was about to rip it away, and he was fixing to drag her through his window to the bed, but she grabbed on to him and gasped, and he knew she had reached the wild place and she held on to him for a silent minute and he knew…they were down the road now, God…God.

She went soft on him, panting in his ear, mouth on his neck.

He bucked in to her and it didn't take but three times and he burst…a hot mess…his mind filled with gibberish, and he laughed some cause damn…but he kept still enough, just a laugh when he came down from riding that lightening.

What the hell was he doing?

She laughed a little too, shy, and Lord God he'd pinned her on the house, not far from the rose bush. He let her down easy and helped her straighten her dress, and her braid was pulled apart some, and her lips, even in the dark he could see they were swollen, and his nose, he was just realizing how much it throbbed, and he didn't care.

"Should we marry come morning…before I leave?" he asked before he kissed her sweetly. Well this was the only way.

"Not yet," she said softly.

"What?" he said to clarify.

She stroked his cheek, "I need to try and make something of myself. And you must think on what I've said…about obeying…and about Jacob."

He did not agree. She was already the most wonderful girl in the world.

"We are promised to each other," he said, knowing now, about the casting. Oh, this was it.

"Yes," she whispered. "I shall have to bear being apart from you. But you must stay safe. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you."

"Say you are promised to me, at least."

"I, Bella Marie Cullen, do promise Edward Mason Cullen before God and the angels, that I am his, body and soul, and I shall wait in breathless hope for that day we shall be joined as man and wife."

He about squeezed her into butter then. No man had been more joyous and frustrated since Adam. No man had felt more love…and more despair.

It filled him so he could not feel his boots upon the earth. But he could feel Bella, curvy and sweet in his arms. "Oh, girl," he said, "I have so much to do to get our house ready. You know that?"

"Edward…you must meet me on what I require."

He did not speak.

"Can you open your heart to not only Jacob, Edward, but to others? Can you put aside your hate?"

"I ain't Jasper," he said, for that was about all he could think of.

"You are the same."

He drew back some. "Right away you want me but you don't?"

"I want you. But we must both change."

"You'll change me. You have already."

"I will help you change. But this hatred is in your heart and I can't change your heart. You're the only one who can do that."

"What else do you want me to do? I ain't killed him." Like they did Hybrow, he thought.

"I want you to think about it. I want you to tell me. And I will bring you what I discover about myself."

"What the hell does this all mean? If we ain't getting married, are you still promising?"

"I am promising to keep myself for you. But…if, when this is all over, we cannot be one…in mind, soul and spirit as well as in body, then I think we have to be honest and remain…as we've been."

"We've been against that wall. That's twice now. That's where we been."

She shook her head. "You know what I mean. You have to change your hatred. I have to be reconciled to myself…in this world."

"So until we have this big showdown, we're promised?"

"We are," she said. "Completely."

"Well hell that sounds so frustrating Bella Marie. But you better be damn sure."

"I am," she said.

He walked her back to the grounds, holding her hand and not speaking, him torn between jubilation and misery. When they got to the school, she turned to him and kissed him sweet. He tried to hold on to her but she ran to that little cabin then and he watched her go in. She waved to him before closing the door.

He was bereft. Only thing that might bring him back was killing Tonico. Then he'd think on his so-called hatred, and her obeying, like she ever did anymore.

He stared at that little cabin and ignored Black's so near. He didn't want to think on Black at all, and once Mama disproved this tale, Bella Marie was cutting her Indian notions, and that meant Black.

Well, he'd do anything for her. But he wasn't going to put on a petticoat, so she better know it. Then he sighed and walked away to get his gear. He'd be three hours early at the station, but he wouldn't sleep. That he did know.


	35. Chapter 35

Love Like a Hurricane 35

On the river they talked some, him and Jasper. He had no one else. And Jasper started it. They were hanging on the railing looking at the shore, a family of terns were flying overhead and the older ones were diving at the water.

"Says she won't have me. Alice Sue," Jasper said. He was pulling on a smoke. He had grown his mutton chops in nice and full and he was growing a mustache. Always was particular about having his face hair just so.

"Well Bella says I got to get rid of my hate," Edward added, also smoking. He was clean shaven and he wore his hair shorter than Jasper as a rule.

"Alice says meanness. She can't abide it she says. Well hell, l told her take me or don't. I ain't groveling like a snake." He about ate that smoke up then.

"Well…I saw her running into the cabin there after… your methods might…you might have to try another rope."

Jasper had style came to a horse, but Alice Sue…he didn't know what the hell he was doing.

"You giving advice now?" Jasper said.

That was pretty ridiculous Edward reckoned. But he had to brag a little, "I got a promise from Bella at least."

"From your own sister," Jasper said hateful. "Some of us are going outside the family where folks feel less obligated."

"Bella is not obligated to me."

"You got in when she was young. If not for that…don't go telling me nothing."

"I'm gonna let that pass cause I got to work on my temper, but I talk to you I see why I let go much as I do." Edward pitched his smoke in the water.

"Forget I brought it up." Jasper whittled his smoke down to nothing.

"I can barely remember your name," Edward said.

But the next day with them bedded down on the deck of a barge, it came up again.

"She thinks I'm gonna be like that Hybrow," Jasper said out of the clear blue. "That's what she wants…some dandified slicker."

Edward chuckled. "That ain't you."

Jasper rolled on his side, back to Edward and they said no more.

But next day here it came again. Jasper, "Pa said you could tell a man by his hands and if they didn't have work on them that was a man couldn't be trusted."

"He did say that."

"That Hybrow…them hands were so slick from holding them cards…Alice Sue ain't got the sense God gave a pony."

"Don't reckon."

"She sees a real man before her and don't know it. Hell…she thinks I can't do better? I get women making eyes at me all the time. I get three, four sometimes. Fourth of July…."

"You are a stallion…hung too, I seen it plenty of times, lots of places. Pride of our family."

"You know what? Go straight to hell."

And the next: "Her mama put those notions in her she was too good for ranchin'."

"Bella says she won't be some simple ranch wife, too."

"We should tell Mama that. She might forgive Kiowa, but not that."

"Took me back. Ranching is what I know," Edward said.

"Well let both of them go to hell then. They're too good…not too good to take our money so they can, 'better themselves.'"

"Alice say that too? Bella said that. 'Better herself.' Hell of a thing to say.'"

"Let them go off and work with the Kiowa…." Jasper couldn't go on then. They were both making pictures in their minds, Edward reckoned, seeing those girls slaughtered in a raid.

"Don't say such," Edward said.

Jasper didn't make a sound.

That evening: "I knew it was her soon as I come back from the war. Those hats she makes…ever notice those silly things?"

"Sure."

"And sing? She-it. How am I ever gonna be good enough for that girl?"

"You ain't."

"Well thank-you very much."

"Now listen…you want to marry someone about as good as yourself? You want that for your children?"

"Hell no."

"Then you got to reach top shelf. This goes with it is how I figure. You got to get your rope on it, then the work starts and you figure it out…how to bring it in."

Jasper pulled back some, his brows knitting. "Maybe you said something good for once."

Edward smiled. "Maybe I did."

By the time they got to Memphis…Jasper: "Reckon I could build us a place on the north end."

"So we are gonna be partners? You said a while back…."

"I know what I said. Don't push me. I'm making a plan here if you'd listen…."

"What if she won't ranch? What if she flat out refuses?"

"Well…I guess…I reckon I'll have to…well I don't know."

"What if she does want to go on singing?"

"Well…she can sing to me…or at church…at picnics…to our babies. We all sing in Texas."

"Maybe a snake dance? You think the Kiowa would mind?" Edward laughed.

"I don't know what you find so funny. You're the one taking on that clan. You gonna tout your children over to the snake dance so they can see their kin…Uncle Jacob and all?"

Edward did go so far as to seriously consider putting his hands around Jasper's neck. Then he pulled back. He wished Bella could see it. His self-control.

Then the next night after they'd eaten a humble meal with the captain of this boat Jasper said, "I told her if marrying right off is what she wanted I'd do it."

Edward had said the same to Bella. He reckoned…he knew…Jasper was as desperate as he was.

"She said…," he took a long time watching his ash fall into the water. Edward figured he wasn't going to say it at all, then he did. "She said, 'don't do me no favors.'"

Jasper never looked at Edward. He spit neat into the river.

"Well…that's just Alice Sue," Edward said, but he wasn't hopeful. He'd witnessed the shunning she gave Jasper that time.

"That ain't all," he said. "And don't you say a word against her if I tell you this."

Edward was anxious to hear it. He figured whatever Alice was saying, Bella was agreeing with for those two were in cahoots. "Known her all her life," he scoffed like the notion he'd say a word against her was ridiculous.

"Well we got into fighting some, and I just went on in and kissed her cause I didn't know what to say anymore."

Edward's stomach lurched. He'd done the same. "What happened?" he nearly demanded.

"She…she came alive. Not that she was anything else before, but she did not shy away. Not a bit. So…we got going some and…I told her…some sweet things…how much I thought of her," he looked quickly at Edward and Edward felt the pressure building in his temples.

"Next I know she's telling me it's alright if I want to…keep going."

"C'mon now," Edward said. Had the girls planned this? "Did she come to you?" Edward asked.

"No. It was that night at the school…my last night. I went to that chapel…she was finishing her song…and…she looked like an angel up there…and she got done and saw me and came for me. It was…a holy moment."

Edward cleared his throat. "You did this at the school?"

"No one could see. We were behind a big tree."

Edward didn't know if he should be impressed or disgusted. But he couldn't judge. He'd loved on Bella next to a rose bush.

"Thing was…she didn't stop me. She just…that girl. And then…well I got to thinking and I said…'you ain't done this before, have you?' Well I meant on that boat. I know she didn't back home cause…well she told me and I'd of heard of it back there…but she was on that boat with that slick bastard I," he looked around and lowered his voice, "put down. But I was just wondering. A fella has a right to know when he's in love."

"Oh," Edward said. All he heard was 'love.'

Jasper didn't flush red no more. Not for years. But he was red as a tomato now.

"I mean…what kind of woman…."

"Well yeah, back home she was pure. I mean remember that incident about your hand and her breast?" Edward had to chuckle some.

"That aside…I'm serious here. Why would she turn me down then fire me right up and jump on like we're going full out? She makes a man loco. I think she's just as crazy as the old lady was. Why else would she do this to me?"

Well, Edward had gotten more out of Bella. A promise at least.

"So what was she so mad about? She came stalking past me in the dark looking fixed to kill you for asking her to marry," Edward said.

"I said she had to say she'd marry me before we could keep going. She said…she said… 'Last thing I need is for Jasper Cullen to teach me my morals.'"

Edward whistled. Alice had a point but he wasn't going to say so. "That's pretty bad."

"That ain't so bad. It gets worse. She said she wasn't going to be tied to one mean man like me all her days. Then she said she was going to take lovers and have adventures. She said, 'Ain't that what you do?' Then she had the pluck to tell me Sam Hybrow thought she was beautiful. I swear I thought of pulling that man up and shooting him again."

Edward could see an unnatural shine in Jasper's eyes. "That it?"

"No. I told her if she didn't come home with me…we were through. I just needed something strong to say…or do. So I said that…and she waved her little fingers at me like, bye-bye. Then she stalked off. And I said, 'I mean it Alice Sue, I mean it.' But she kept going. And soon as I could I took off."

Edward whistled. That was not hopeful at all. "What are you going to do now?"

Jasper looked directly at him. "Kill Tonico. Go home and build my fortune. After that…come spring I'll go for her again."

"Reckon she don't mean that about taking a lover. Only man around that school besides the reverend is Black." Edward laughed…then he didn't.

Jasper glared at him. "I'll kill that Kiowa son of a bitch."

"Well…let's get Tonico first."

First time Edward was near elated Black thought he was brother to Bella. He well knew what a boulder such a notion could be in the river of love.

It was hard not to smile.


	36. Chapter 36

Love Like a Hurricane 36

Alice Sue was thriving. When the school found out her mother had died while Alice was enroute, they made Alice's joy their mission.

Well that's how it started, but it soon took another turn. They discovered how amusing Alice Sue could be.

Bella hated this feeling, this fearful…imagining. What was it? Was she jealous?

She didn't want Alice to feel as poorly as she did. But, she thought she would be the one to thrive at school. It hurt her how very public everything was and she lacked Alice's confidence and charm.

She was not shy. She was private.

She didn't like eating with others, their scrutiny over her food. "You did not take the gravy, you did not eat the mush, you did not want the gooseberry pie?" Well the gravy was not like Mama's. Too much flower and not enough meat. And she loved buttery grits, but gray mush? And what, pray tell, was a gooseberry?

She knew they meant well. She thought they did. But so many questions.

Her hair, so thick, and never cut and them touching it, not even asking. "It's like a horse's mane," one said and others laughed. She could not read this laugh, was it friendly…or derisive?

Her eyelashes so long and curled. Her skin. Well what was she? Someone said Indian. But they would talk about her to themselves as if she was a doll for their perusal, empty between her ears.

She was a curiosity to them, not a girl, overwhelmed and lonely, unsure who she was, lovesick, homesick, she was not like them at all.

"Were those handsome men your brothers?" Well, they wanted to know all about those brothers. "Were they cowboys? Real cowboys?"

But Bella didn't need to answer. Alice Sue had turned the adventures of Jasper and Edward into part of her traveling show. She told stories about those two like they were characters out of a dime novel. In her mind Bella called Alice's snippets, The Adventures of Tex and Rowdy. She'd turned them into the cowboy buffoons. And she didn't mind turning the truth here and there to make her stories ring.

But this was Jasper and Edward. If these girls could see them…in Texas…riding all out, throwing a rope, breaking a horse, telling a vaquero what to do, hot-tempered, fearless, commanding, coming out of the river after a swim, laughing round the table at a barbeque, playing the guitar, singing soft in the moonlight….

Edward coming home from a round up, dust in the creases round his eyes, brown from the sun, scratchy cheeks and smile white, his shoulders wide, his back tapered narrow, the reins in his hand and power in his legs, her riding close…and her reaching, ignoring the ground between them, the bridge of air, and leaping and squeezing on behind him and the feeling…love…from the time she was little…the feeling…love.

Edward…pulling one of her white shirts over his head while he talked to her, his long fingers smoothing over his pocket that meant her heart lining with his. Edward laughing, head tipped back, throat… she saw him that way…well they would get an eye-full…but they would not, would never…for Edward…was hers. Lord, he took her every thought, from being sick and like her child, to being her knight, strong and fearless. She knew him now, his flesh, his want.

She knew his want…his hands on her like worship…his need pressed against her…breath quick and eager…the sounds he made when he gave himself, when he took her, clothes between, it hadn't mattered, her ache grew arms…her ache grew a voice…lit on fire…awakened.

She was awakened. And this daze would not lift…for she was in the garden now, one man, one woman, naked…and not ashamed.

"Edward," she whispered in near agony. She wanted him. It had settled on her like honey dripping from above, coating her, dripping over, running down, soft and sticky and sweet and fragrant honey, this love.

It was him that set her apart. She had a secret, she was a mystery. She was new, she was old, she was written a thousand, a million times, she was a song, and a poem, and the sky and the earth, she was so in love she was breaking apart, she was settled and strong, she was thunder and lightning, she was fragile as china and tough as iron, she was happy and blue and black and miserable and…angry? Yes, she was mad as sin.

And she resented Alice taking hold of him, of Jasper too, and molding them into her latest attention seeking scheme for her revenge and to push herself onto the stage of Almira, well the whole thing was her stage, and she set them all up so she could rise above and she wasn't even trying hard or giving them anything much they were just so willing to be her congregation.

They adored her.

Back home, Bella was adored. And Alice Sue was always struggling to gain their attention, Bella, Edward and Jasper. She worked so hard, but mostly, she was with her mother, mostly saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, and oh she was just Alice Sue.

But here…she seemed as though she'd been a townie all her life. She was knowledgeable too, about fashion. She had also joined a club that studied melodrama. She made a quick circle of friends and they were forever acting out scenes during meals or in the quadrangle between or after classes. Alice was so gifted and superb in her dramatic posturing and her fancy orating she was quickly the darling of the skits they performed.

And in choir, Alice Sue was given the lead in all the ensembles.

And she sewed continuously, their small cabin soon filled with one of her ruffled costumes, using all her money and some of Bella's to buy material. Then the others must come to where Alice was and see her latest frill to coo and ooh, and share the stories of frocks they'd known or hoped to. Or the throng that met in the morning singing until Alice came outside, them eager to walk her to chapel like the seraphim and cherubim around the throne of their little god from Texas…Alice Sue Cope.

There was no room for Bella. Alice was too big for the cabin. When she moved back to the dormitory, and they came to help her, clapping their hands with joy, the cabin was quiet as a tomb when the last filed out, when Alice stuck her head back in and said, "Don't be a stranger, y'all."

Well they loved when Alice said 'y'all.' The whole school said it now. But Alice had not stuck her head back in to actually say anything to Bella. She'd been being funny for the sake of the girls who waited, Alice's new possessions filling their arms so they could take her into their fort at long last and crown her their queen.

As it went on, Alice was practically quoted as often as the Apostle Paul. Bella recognized many of her quotes, knew the sources. When, during a particularly intense religion lesson, Miss Irina asked them what they thought about King David taking Bathsheba after seeing her bathing on a roof and later having her husband killed and taking her to wife to cover up the fact he had impregnated her Alice Sue quipped, "Don't raise a gun you ain't willing to fire." The class went in to hysterics, and Miss Irina joined in. When she asked Alice to clarify, that one said, "Reckon Bathsheba shouldn't have trotted around on the roof in her skin cause you never can tell when some wrangler is hiding in the canebreak." And they died laughing all over again.

Well Bella was getting angry. Alice never gave due to anyone, not Edward, Jasper, Jenks, or her mama. She was building her colorful reputation using everything from the basket of her past no matter who it belonged to, and given half a chance Bella intended to tell her just that.

In the meantime, there was a place Bella was always welcomed, but it was tricky to stay proper and all. Jacob Black's cabin was two doors down, and he would always have that ready smile when she called, standing on the ground, hands clasped before her, not even stepping on his porch to knock, but she'd stand before his cabin intending to call his name. And his desk before the window, he'd always see her there before she could say, "Jacob," and he'd whip his door open and say, "Bella."

And something in her would find some comfort in the clear, kind way he said her name.

"How are you?" she'd ask.

And so they would walk, and walk, and talk, and what a fine mind Jacob had. He would tell her stories about Two Bears and his mother, and their people, and their struggles. He would sing her the Indian songs, or the hymns he'd been comforted by at the mission. There was so much to cover, sixteen, nearly seventeen years' worth of life to catch up on.

She did her best to tell Jacob about life with the Cullens, hoping to show Jacob a better side of her brothers than he could imagine from actually knowing them.

She hoped to inspire mercy in Jacob, but she didn't have to worry, Jacob did not seem to think violence solved anything. He said that so many times, loving most the scriptures that advised peace: Seek peace and pursue it. Or, As much as lieth in you live in peace. He said it was those two sayings that gave him the most direction, that guided him in word and deed.

He told her he'd forgiven those who'd killed his parents. He, too, wondered that her pa could take her and show compassion after all the killing. Jacob always held hope that she was her pa's repentance, his sign of change toward the Kiowa after the terrible raid where so many innocents were killed.

The comfort she found with Jacob was similar to what she'd known growing up with Edward, when he had been her brother. If not for this blooming, deepening friendship she wondered if she could continue at Almira at all for she was so homesick, lovesick, she could barely eat.

But the most beautiful thing of all was the Saturday morning Jacob appeared before her cabin holding the reins of two saddle horses. One favored Alameda with her white coat. Bella cried out and ran to the beasts and startled the one when she threw her arms around its neck and cried.

Jacob patted her back, apologizing for having upset her, and she giggled too. "No Jacob, it's just what I needed," she said.

And they rode then, all through town then outside into the cold countryside. They rode all out across a field, then they slowed it some and enjoyed learning more about the place they were now in, this Illinois land so flat, so winter bare and lonely and strange. Riding like this bred love of country. But she wasn't ready to give her heart here. She couldn't.

"This land is good for crops," Jacob said, "dark and rich."

"There's no red in the soil at all," she said as they stared over a field plowed and left fallow over winter.

"My people…our people have been here, walked upon this place before it was ripped by the plow," Jacob said.

In that way, it wasn't strange at all. Bella may have been here through ancestors. It wasn't comforting to her as it seemed to be to Jacob, but it was interesting, and pulled her from herself. Jacob was good at that.

That ride did more than anything else to bring her out of the fog. She'd been letting go, like in the Mississippi when Jacob had saved her, come along at just the right time and she'd grabbed on and his strength…became hers.

But that particular time when he brought the horses and they'd ridden back to the quadrangle, there was Alice Sue and all those girls and Alice was standing on a bench placed there by the statue of Jesus washing the disciple's feet, and she had her hand on her chest and she was orating away and something just snapped cold in Bella and she moved her legs against that horse's ribs and she trotted that horse up the gravel path a ways and she went high-stepping past those girls, and they looked some and they were calling Alice Sue's attention to Bella having a pretty seat on that horse and all. Then Bella made a circle and she nudged that horse into a lope and she went by and more of them were looking at her.

Alice Sue had left off with her speech and she was watching Bella too, but the smile was melting off her face some, and so Bella made another circle and brought that horse to stand still right before those girls and Bella tucked her hips in and leaned slightly back in the saddle and a little pull and let go on the reins, just like Edward taught her, and that horse went slow stepping backwards and those girls clapped then.

And Alice Sue jumped off the bench and parted those girls like they were pins in the school's bowling alley and she was a rolling ball.

She walked energetically to where Jacob stood, took the reins from his hands with a curtsey and mounted that horse like a girl from Texas, frilly petticoats flying and all, just like in Texas, straddling that horse like a wrangler.

She trotted her horse over to where Bella was and she said, "You think that's riding?"

She took off then, down the gravel path meant for carriages that wanted to roll right up to the double doors of the schools most prominent edifice, Almira Hall, and she tore around the building, and Bella's horse was digging gravel behind hers.

Alice looked over her shoulder, saw Bella on the line, and spurred her horse on, and it jumped a stand of fire bushes, long dead and faded red, and Bella leaned forward a little more and jumped it too, tail out, her horse's hooves knocking the tip of the bush and some old red papery scraps puffing up.

Around the perimeter of those grounds they went. Bella knew she should stop, but she'd nearly gained on Alice, and then it happened, a girl sitting on a blanket reading on such a cold day, and without touching the cover Alice's horse jumped neatly over that girl's head, and Bella, her own voice screaming in her head, followed right after and the thespians Alice Sue had been regaling were cheering now, egging Alice forward to the finish line which pretty much happened to be Jacob Black.

Bella squeezed her legs against that white and over took Alice and crossed the imaginary line first and Alice's admirers stopped cheering, then started again for they reckoned it was a tie.

Bella and Alice slowed their horses and Bella smirked at Alice and said, "Don't ever try to best me on a horse, Cope."

"Big talking Cullens, all the same. Threats and nothing. You think I'm gonna get stuck on a ranch with one of them…y'all are crazy. I wouldn't have one of y'all." Her eyes flashed fire.

"Good," Bella said having no inspiration at all, and some stung at Alice's quick angry words.

They trotted those animals back to where Jacob stood. "Well that was fancy," he said. "Hope it was worth it. Here comes the reverend."

"It's just…we're not all fools in Texas," Bella said sternly to Alice Sue.

She knew her cheeks flamed from more than her prideful showing.

"You're a damn fool in Illinois, then," Alice said, dismounting so her comforters, who rushed to flock around her, could fawn.

Jacob took the horses back to the livery, and Alice Sue and Bella washed dinner dishes the rest of the week.

They tried not to speak to one another, and moved around each other nice and wide so they wouldn't have to touch.

Second night Alice Sue threw the rag in the pan and it splashed Bella's apron, even her chin. "All we been through you're going to ignore me?" Alice said crossly.

Bella was working on drying a stack of plates. She looked at Alice. "I just…."

"You aren't giving this a lick."

"I dried…," and Bella motioned to the stack she'd already shined.

"I don't mean those, I mean school. Here you were, the one who said we needed to be here, I needed to learn something for the stage and all the rest and you ain't even trying."

"I am working hard in all my studies. I am keeping up in everything…well trying to. But now I got dishes to get through…."

"Because you had to show-off."

"Me? You been doing nothing but showing off ever since we got here."

"I am not showing off…I'm trying to make the most…." She threw the dishrag and it splattered against the wall. "Why try and explain myself? You Cullens…can't tell any of you a thing. If I marry him…he'll stick me on a ranch…and he'll be gone. I'll be alone. I won't have no way of knowing what he's up to. I won't have no say. I'll die out there looking off for him…praying he'll come home. I'll miss…everything…cause all I'll want is him and my suffering life."

Bella didn't know what to say. She had a similar fear. "You make it sound so bad," she said.

"Well how do we know? He asks me to marry him like he hates me. 'If that's what you want,' he says. What kind of proposal is that? I know how I have to do with him…and I did it. I told him…I was taking lovers."

"What?" Bella laughed a little.

"Maybe I will. You don't know. I get on the stage…maybe I won't be able to help myself."

"Alice Sue," Bella chided her. "I'll bet you made him crazy telling him that."

"He makes me crazy enough. Told me we couldn't…spoon…unless I said I'd marry him. Well, he's a rounder…we both know it. He just wants me to breed and keep his house. He can get Maria for that. That's if Pa will…share."

"Alice Sue Cope you don't mean a word of that."

"I do too. I like it here. I love it. And folks like me…and in time Jasper Cullen will get smaller and smaller in my mind…until he won't even be a thought at all."

"You sure?"

She didn't answer, but she retrieved the rag and kept her head down then and washed furiously.

But she stopped. "You know what? I thought Sam Hybrow would have come by now. I mean…he said he'd look me up. He was coming to that port outside of Memphis, but he didn't come. Well…I wished he'd of shown when Jasper was here. That would have put him in his place then…seeing one so handsome coming after me."

"That would not have been good," Bella said. "Hybrow is a villain. He was consenting to Tonico, he was his partner. Once they'd known who he was they would have gone for him. Edward still doesn't know how he got off the boat. No, that would not have been good," Bella said.

"He just went along," Alice said. "He was going to help me. I think he will help me…someday. But…he's probably a liar. They're all…liars…especially the ones I come from."

"Alice Sue…." Bella just shook her head. "I always said…you don't need Hybrow…well look at you. These around here…well Edward told me something before we left Texas. He said I had something fine in me."

Alice giggled.

"What?" Bella said.

"That be the Kiowa?" She laughed all out, and Bella wanted to be mad, but she was too tired.

"What I was fixing…meaning to say is..." Alice didn't stop laughing so Bella quit trying to encourage her.

But she had to join her, and she didn't want to, but she started to laugh too.

Then Alice took to crying, and she stood there rather bedraggled, her apron way too big, her hair unpinned some and sticking to the back of her neck.

Bella stepped to her and put an arm around her. Alice's head came over then, and rested on Bella's shoulder.

"It's alright," Bella whispered. "There's something fine in you, too. Jasper knows…we all know."

Her arms came around Bella then, and they held each other for a while.

And after…they finished the dishes, and every now and then Alice would bump her hip against Bella's…and Bella would bump back.

While Bella didn't know what to think about Alice's determination to forget Jasper, she did find their talk the kick in the bloomers she'd needed.

She was drifting. She needed to come out of it and embrace her opportunities.

It was not too late for her to join the school's newspaper. So she did that. She also made a point to catch every one of Jacob's lectures. These lectures were open to the whole community and beyond, and a few folks came from as far as back east to hear Jacob's point of view.

Jacob's class was attended by those students serious about going on the mission field hoping to bring the gospel and schooling to the reservations. Their targets were children from six to sixteen.

Many in this class seemed inspired by the early work of David Brainerd who had died at the age of thirty from tuberculosis. Bella felt a bit in awe and wondered if she could truly be as selfless as these.

But upon listening, she realized there were several points of view. Jacob Black spoke with a gentle authority. It was his belief that Indian culture could remain somewhat in tact while still learning new skills and a new way of life. But most did not agree. The sooner Indian ways were abandoned, the more readily Indians could open themselves to staying put on a patch of ground and being civilized. It was extravagant and unrealistic to think one could travel the countryside to sustain one's life. Least that's what one fellow who looked a lot like Abraham Lincoln, and currently occupied the cabin beside Bella, had to say.

When manifest destiny was mentioned, Jacob rebutted making it clear he was firmly convinced Anglos had no right to annihilate the Indians.

Well they all agreed on that. No, the Indians were not the Canaanites.

Nor did Jacob believe in the fallacy of a great Indian uprising whereby native peoples would reclaim their lands. He seemed willing to muck around in the mess and examine how to go forward, whether he agreed or not, hated it or loved it. And he didn't seem to love any of it.

But just this year the government had appropriated one hundred thousand dollars to go to those churches willing to offer schools and industrial training for Indians not otherwise provided for. This was where many of the students saw themselves having an opportunity to work with Indian children to prepare them for the future. Some of the students had ties to various organizations from back east and were sharing the points of view of those organizations and their own eagerness for what might be accomplished.

Jacob asked those who felt education was the greatest need of the Indian today to raise their hands. He then polled how many felt Christianity was the greatest need. Intense discussion followed, and the room was very divided with opinions. One thing that struck Bella, these folks were serious about the Indian's fate, and seemed willing to roll up their sleeves to do the work. She was trying to understand. She decided it was either, God was helping the Indians, or God help the Indians.

She waited for Jacob to finish speaking with a variety of those who'd attended the lecture. The more she got to know him, the more she admired him. It could not be a bad thing to share such a man's blood.

He smiled at her as he gathered his books and papers. "Well," he said pleased. "You've waited."

"Yes," she said. Just yes.

Whatever their bond, it was real, and it was growing. Jacob Black was somehow a part of her. He always would be now. It put her on the fence. And that made her unstable. She would fall off eventually, one side or the other. Either way, a part of her would die…so a part of her could live.

And that was…frightening.


	37. Chapter 37

Love Like a Hurricane 38

"What the hell kind of brand is that?" Edward asked his foreman Stover.

"The one I told you about. Looks like four diamonds."

"Cut them out of here and drive those mavericks to the fire," he said like Stover needed to be told his job when he never did. "And check them tails for notches." Well he didn't want trouble from McKinley who notched those tails instead of branding. Some did that.

Edward was in a mood. He had been in it for months now. Ever since New Orleans. Jasper would say ever since they'd left Bella at Almira, but that one had no room to talk about bad moods.

They had not found Tonico. He had pretty well vanished. Thought was he was in the river, but without a body it was speculation. His holdings were sold. Turned out he was in terrible debt. Turned out dying worked for James Tonico.

When Edward and Jasper got home he had been nearly crazed to get to Mama and get answers. But Mama claimed Bella Marie was no Kiowa at all. She'd never in her days heard such a notion. Who was this Kiowa making such a claim? Bella Marie was taken from a Spanish woman is what Pa had said.

"I knew it," Jasper yelled, smacking his fist to his palm. "Son of a bitchin' lyin' Kiowa." Well Jasper was more het-up than ever since the Quakers were working to get the Kiowa chiefs Satanta and Big Tree out of Huntsville prison and it looked like it might happen thanks to them reprobate do-gooders.

But Edward wasn't so easily satisfied. He badgered her, but Mama was the type of woman didn't say too much and if she didn't want to talk, well she didn't. She knew Edward was head of the house, had been a long time, but he pushed too hard she'd rise up, Mama would, and she'd shut down and he'd be standing there ten years old bellyaching and ready to rip out his hair.

Pa had ridden with others. Some of them were dead and gone. Most probably. There was one would know but he was miles off and why did it eat at him so? Well he knew the answer to that—Black. And her thinking this, that she came out of his band. That whole sad story…made him want to kill Black as much as he'd longed to kill Tonico. Laying that all on Pa. If Pa did something in a raid it wasn't just how Black told it. And they didn't owe that bastard no apologies for war was war and that's what Bella didn't know.

And this…what if he took away the idea Black was her brother? He couldn't completely take it cause he did not know for sure. So that made Black off limits either way. The idea he was blood at all…well he was not a contender for Bella's hand. There were no contenders. Edward had to get that notion out of his head. Well what did anyone expect of him? He was about going loco with Bella up there with Black. But she'd promised. She'd said the words.

Days he looked off, he swore he saw her riding, far away, across the horizon, her hair blowing. He thought of going for her.

So he kept busy. He kept his head and shoulders down. He worked his books, his ledgers, the money from his ranch that Jenks used to see to, and he'd broke off his share to see to it himself with Jenks getting looney and spending the day in his nightshirt, and he roped, he branded, he rounded and wrangled and barked lots of orders and camped out and looked at the sky and started all over again.

On any given day, he was going for her, damn that school and his fool idea she should better herself, and that she had more in her than tending a milch cow and some chickens…well she did…have more in her…Kiowa? Nah…but she was smart…and beautiful…and once she got on the ranch he'd need her to stay…well to never leave unless he took her off to travel, and he hoped to, but she got on the ranch it would get ahold of her and she would sink in to the list then, the never-ending-never-ending of making cookfires and brewing coffee, gathering eggs and tending a garden, and cleaning and sewing, and cooking and grinding meal, and bearing children and managing everyone, watering this parched rocky ground and harvests and rodents and laundry and bathing and baking and setting that example of man and woman and God, and maintaining. And maintaining. And endlessly maintaining, with one eye peeled for banditos and Indians.

Only thing that held him in his skin was the work and the plans. Him and Jasper were building Eden. Well, houses. Edward's first, a long low house, stone covered with adobe, a porch all along the front. Cane cut for the ceilings, and beams and pine walls white washed and light colored floors and furniture freighted from Old Mex, from Charlie.

Mama would stay with Edward. Jasper was going north toward Jenks' line. There was a cabin there now, but nothing like he planned to make it.

There was money to be made. That was the joyful thing, and them sitting in the middle of it. They'd hired more hands and they were running those crews and sending their cattle to market through several drives. And the army had ordered some beeves too, and that was damn near local, well Texas, and they were busting their asses to get it all done, him, Stover and Jasper in charge, working seven days a week need called.

Well he wrote her a letter. He told her in there how much he missed her, but it sounded so…so…he wadded it into a ball and started again. It said, Bella Marie I'm building us a house. You come home to me and we will marry and live there with Mama and I reckon we'll be so happy, well I shall promise you this, I will live to make you so.

That was it, and he signed it with love.

The next letter he got a little more creative. It said, Bella Marie, I reckon you are studying and learning lots of things. We are building herds and sending them out. Just like that. I don't plan to head the drives no more, Jasper neither. Well, I got too much to do. Mama is fine, Seth is fine, Alameda had grown fat so I've been riding her some, but she is angry I'm not you and she lets me know.

We are all good and no complaints or injuries except for that vaquero got gored in his leg but it was his fault and he will walk fine when it heals.

Truth is, honey, I look for you in the light, the kind of light only shines on you in Texas. Here at home I feel you around me, I see you sometimes, and I say to myself it is not the past come to haunt me…it is our future I see, you riding to me, you leaning in the saddle to close the distance, you…. I am so ready. Always wondered how a man got there, now it's come on me. I think of myself with you that last night, and girl nothing undoes me like thinking of that. Bella Marie I don't care how you came to us…fact is…you came to me. I am the luckiest man in Texas. You get done at school, and you do what you need to there, no rush at all. I meant it taking you there and I stick by, even on those days I think I'll surely come, just to look at you, girl, hear your voice, have your eyes on me. Even those times I think I can't take another day. But I am glad you can study your books.

Well…the sun is setting here and you know how it is, the light having that final bright shot across the prairie before it softens and goes out. We got full moon…and I reckon all that means. And me, I think of you, fondly…I think of you.

Truly yours,

Edward

Bella and Alice did not go home for Thanksgiving. They did not go home for Christmas. 1871 came in and their birthdays too, first Bella, then Alice, and they were seventeen.

Back and forth the letters flew. First to Mama. What am I? Bella had asked. She told Mama about Jacob and what he'd claimed. She knew Mama would have already answered this for Edward and Jasper. But she had her own need to question, to hear it from Mama, if she could.

"You are my daughter and no Kiowa in you," Mama wrote and not much else. She had a fresh cow and the girl who did jobs around was learning English and she had a batch of chicks coming in another month and Edward was having flagstone laid in the new cold room.

Bella told Jacob, "My Mama says no Kiowa in me."

But he stared at her. "Maybe she wasn't told."

"She would know, don't you think? Her own husband."

"How much would he say?" Jacob said.

So she was as much thrown in the air as she'd been and she got sad then, thinking she might never know what she was.

Edward was accepting, none-the-less. She had to give him some due for staying loyal. How many began with such a test? And he had passed it, though she told him he must do more, accept Jacob too. Was that fair? She only meant she wanted the freedom…to love Jacob, too. For she did love him, but not in the same way as Edward, of course, never that. But she did feel a strong bond and she knew now, after listening to Jacob's lectures, and others from organizations designed to help the plight of the Indian, if the Indians could not find acceptance, then they had no future. It was evident, in Texas, the buffalo and the longhorn were symbols of the Indian tribes that had survived and were being killed or run off. They were disappearing. Only several thousand Indians left in Texas, it was thought, while Anglos had come in the hundred thousands. Handwriting on the wall.

As winter rolled out, Bella, with Jacob's help, wrote an article about the Indian's plight in Texas. It was soon picked up by the local Advocate. From there it went to St. Louis. She was in a sweat that it would continue to travel, and if it did, she did not know.

In March Jacob's lectures at Almira were over. He had engagements to speak that carried him throughout the end of the year. His greatest opportunity was going to Washington to speak to the president's commission on Indian affairs. Jacob wanted Bella to accompany him.

"But…I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just a…girl…from Texas."

Jacob didn't agree. He said it was a chance to have a voice. He wanted her to share in his experience. He intended to show them her article, to make sure the president himself read this, as it covered his lectures and also listed many of the organizations and the work they were doing to answer the urgent call for intelligent compassion in dealing with Indian affairs.

"I…," she was in a sweat. "I don't have permission," she said.

"From Cullen?" he asked.

"Yes. I mean…there must be expenses. And…I wanted to go home. I'm marrying Edward."

Jacob was robbed of a reply. "I see," he said. "I had hoped for more…from one so gifted," he said.

"It's not a failing to marry, Jacob. It's what folks do who…who are…in…love."

He had dropped his head in seeming disappointment. Now he lifted it with a snap and glared at her. "Do you not think a great work like this requires some sacrifice?"

"Of course…it must. But…this is your work. Mine is to marry."

"How do you know? You're barely out of the gate."

"And you are not yet twenty and you know your calling."

"But I have been fighting for justice all of my life. You going to tell me Cullen is your calling?"

"Jacob…you'll do wonderfully up east, and in Washington. You'll meet so many people…and you'll help others move in to the future. And take our article, use it however you can if it will help. It's mostly yours anyway…maybe it's all yours. You just let me be a part because you're kind. But they were your words, from your lectures. The mission is yours. It always has been. I'm just a parrot, just a student of your brilliant mind. You've opened my eyes, Jacob. You've made me take the uncomfortable place between two worlds and look at both sides. Knowing you…has changed me…blood or not…I'm changed. Well…without you…I'd have perished in the Mississippi. And in Memphis? I don't think I could have made it without you."

"That's not true, Bella. I could feel how strong you were in the water. You were tired…but you'd have made it. We come from good stock." He smiled, but she could see the sad weight in it.

She shook her head. He'd always seemed so sure about her. But no matter how sure he was, how much he hoped, it didn't make it true.

What was true…come time…she would marry Edward.

And maybe him and Jacob would never reconcile, maybe they couldn't on their own, but long as they both had a hand on her…they'd have a common love, a peace of sorts. She'd see to that. She had not been willing to take that on. But that was hers to carry. That was hers to stand on. She saw the good in both. And she wouldn't be changing her mind.

Jasper hit the ground before his horse had stopped. Edward saw him through the open door. He was still sitting at the table eating his potatoes and bacon and corn mush and drinking his coffee. Jasper didn't even knock the dust off, he came in spurs dragging like angry music and plopped the newspaper from Galveston right there over Edward's plate.

He wanted to curse Jasper some but he knew there was something he should see and he reckoned those Kiowa were out. But it was not quite that, for below a story about Big Tree and the other, there below was an article said it was written by a daughter of Texas. Well now.

Edward moved back and fanned out that paper and took a closer look and Bella Marie Cullen, it was written by. Well Edward went wild and could see by Jasper's face he was not celebrating, so Edward read some, his lips moving silent, and then not moving at all, but his eyes moving as he read, and what in the hell….

He stood fast and threw that paper, then picked it back up and went outside where the light was good and he read that whole thing, and then he read it again and it took a while, and Jasper was going on, "See what you got for our money? See what's goin' on up there? I'm goin' for Alice soon as I finish this round up, soon as I get them on the trail I'm gonna throw that girl over my shoulder, and Bella Marie…there ain't no discussion…." That's what Jasper was saying.

But Edward, he wasn't saying a thing, he just kept reading…and reading. Well…Black had done turned her. He got Black before him right now he'd beat his liver from his body.

He was that mad.


	38. Chapter 38

Love Like a Hurricane 38

Dear Bella Marie, I have been a patient man, telling you to take your time. But I open the Galveston paper, delivered by Jasper at a break neck pace, and I see our family name, your name, on an article. Now that is shocking, but were Jasper not so beside himself I could relax. Maybe rejoice. But no, I read said article and sounds like your voice filled with Black's one-sided discourse. Girl, what are you thinking to do such? You looking to get us shunned from one end of Texas to the other? You put our name with the Indian cause?

You put our name with Black. I know what you will say, it was Pa and on and on. But Mama has cleared that. Far as we can tell that man is no part of you so stay away from him. Ain't he moving on soon anyway? Stay the hell away from that Kiowa.

That Black don't stop his yapper for a minute, I'll bet. He's got you believing everything he says like there ain't another part. Girl, it is not your job to tell Anglos that the Indians are not less human than they are when they have buried their mutilated kin and neighbors. Let folks decide such for themselves. They won't shine on you, on us, darling girl and we need our neighbors to survive. I know when you left home you knew this. Black must have opened your brain and poured in some lye. Stay away from that damn medicine man.

Black is using you. He had any care for you he would protect you from this kind of lambasting. He has led you astray, taking advantage of your tender heart. He is worse than Tonico. He started in on you right off, made his big move at the school and just as I feared he's carried on with me gone.

Bella Marie this man is not your friend but a wolf in sheep's clothes. I am writing Miss Irina and demanding they get Black the hell away from you. I am letting her know we sure as hell don't want you used this way. You are there to get an education, not to put Black's yammering out there so he can use your name to try and be heard cause no one wants to hear a thing he's got to say but a bunch of bleeding hearts ain't never had to work a ranch with a rifle close by so they could fight a sudden war, or woke up with Kiowa in their yard, full paint, while standing in their longjohns with family they love behind and a stone wall the only thing between. I ain't got enough paper to tell all of it, but you know, Bella Marie, you know.

Now that is how I feel on this matter, darlin' girl. It is not all I feel, I will have to carry the rest of my frustration. Could I, I'd come to Almira to escort you home. I will not write what I wish to do to Black. All my life I worked to keep your lovely hair off some brave's spear, and I reckon I'm still working to do just that comes to Black.

Sincerely,

Edward Cullen, your real family and intended, by the way.

Well I am the man who loves you, can you deny it? Well don't try to.

Dear Edward Cullen,

Stand down.

I am no fool. Stop talking to me like I am. I'm sorry if that article caused you trouble or shame. That was not my hope. I did not know it would travel. I did not know it could! I said yes to the Advocate figuring it would be good for those who had not heard Jacob's wonderful, yes wonderful lectures. After that it grew legs and went on a trip without me aware until it was already posted. You say it has reached Galveston now. Well…I am glad. It can do some good there. I am not trying to provoke you to anger. But these are terrible times for Indians.

It is not my voice that's important in Indian matters, well not in the truest way, but Jacob's voice is as he goes all the way to Washington now. And I am so proud of him and the work he is doing. This is his calling, Edward, as ranching has been yours since boyhood. But this is important for the Indian people, that good voices rise up and good men and women do what they can before the red man goes the way of the buffalo.

It seems I am tempted to break into a speech, but there's no need now that you've read it already. I can't stop you if you've already done it, but I would hope you'd think again before writing Miss Irina. Jacob has done nothing to be accused of. It will comfort you to know he is gone now, wanted in many towns and cities as a speaker to illuminate the peril of the Indian people. When they see Jacob, they see Indians as human beings, Edward.

He did ask me to accompany him, and I say that with trepidation. Jacob's meaning was honorable, but I did say I could not go without permission…your permission. I am aware you are my family and intended, yes, I have given such notice. And truthfully…and perhaps selfishly…I have relied on Jacob for comfort.

I have not always found my way in with the others. I don't know why. I didn't know I would be this way. Better with horses, I guess. But Jacob has swept me in to his cause and while I've wondered about what I am, well it was the perfect gift, friendship with him and his understanding. He's taught me so much. But now that he's gone, I have been rediscovering Almira. I have turned to my other studies with a fresh eye. For the first time I am left with myself and am thinking about my future. With you. And with…me.

I find I am a woman of many interests. And I want to learn about so many things. And Jacob and Jacob's work will always be one of those interests. You must understand. He is a part of Texas, though I laugh for I have not known him there. If I did, I wouldn't have been able to be his friend. Isn't that strange, Edward? But that's how it is.

And I wonder about the brave I shot. You'll swear it was Mama, but we both know it doesn't matter. I wonder now…was he like Jacob? But even as I ask…he came for war. You see? That's how it is. But I must say, Edward, this dawning on me, one thing after another...Texas is my home.

So here I prepare myself to be a teacher. I don't yet know how or where I will use that. But first and foremost, apart from the love I feel for you and my family, I love Texas. I see her more clearly now, her bleeding wounds, her beauty…you, Jacob, me. And she is where I wish to take my stand in this life. As a rancher's wife. Like my Mama. With you, Edward. With you, always. To try and deny that…is to deny my very heart.

Respectfully in love,

Bella Marie Cullen, hair still on her head, thank you very much

And dear Edward, I plan to stay at Almira over the summer, well until next Christmas so I can finish what I've started. Please don't get more provoked. I am not against you and I am sick for home, but I've no wish to come home, then back again. And I can work here in classes and with Miss Irina. So I humbly ask your agreement.

Your Bella


	39. Chapter 39

Love Like a Hurricane 39

"Humbly ask your agreement," Edward read aloud.

He darn near threw her letter but it seemed to be glued to his hand so he let it crinkle there against his knee and he was already smoothing it out lest he ruin it, for he planned to save these…why he didn't know, but they were from her so that was that.

All summer and clear to Christmas?

He had no way to get to her with the crush of work and the walls to the house going up. He had no way at all to leave this. He'd barely recovered from his last time away, time he nearly died and all.

What was she up to? She was fancy with words. Was she waiting for Black to return? Her comforter?

The Indian plight. He was so sick of that notion. But…her comforter…Jacob Black…her comforter.

Here's what he knew happened as he paced the room, she was looking for someone to take his place…as big brother. And there Black was. A Kiowa stepping right in to Edward's boots. And oh, by the by, you're my little sis, Black says. Well no wonder she couldn't fit in at school, thinking that.

He grabbed a crock of some kind of starter of Ma's and nearly threw it, then thought better of it and set it back.

That Black. That Black.

"Well we both got our callin's," he mimicked. "Yours is ranchin', she says like she's talking to a burro, and his is saving the Inidan nation or some such, talking to the president. But don't you worry you dumb sorry ass you're just as special to me." Well he'd mimicked her in a high voice.

He knew talking down. She'd talked down to him.

Stand down. Just like a mule. Don't you talk to me that way. Or some such dribble, and he checked the letter to read it again.

He wadded it up and nearly threw it on the fire. Then it got stuck to his hand again and he growled and cursed a blue line.

"What does a man have to do?" he said aloud.

"About what?" Jasper said standing in the doorway.

He stared at that one some. "You ain't been writing to Alice Sue."

"Bella say that?" he motioned toward Bella's letter for that one wrote he hung around, he looked for those letters same as Edward.

"I am. You think you can send a girl smart like that to a new place and she won't be weighing you out?" Edward said, glad to have Jasper to use for target practice.

Jasper did have a moment where something Edward pitied flash in his eyes.

"I told you to get a new rope," Edward said.

"What's that mean?"

"It means what it means. Get in that tack room you got upstairs," Edward pointed to his temple, "and see what you can come up with cause I mean to say she ain't gonna just decide to run into your dust covered arms and nestle herself under that smelly swale. You got to go get it, same as she's a maverick you got to go out there and use everything you got, boy."

"So I can be like you?" Jasper drawled.

"What's that mean?"

"Means I can't respect a man so pitiful he yells at letters like they can talk back. You think I'm fool enough to write my words? Just talking to Alice Sue gets me yelled at, her face all scrunched up ready to kill me, you reckon I ought to write those same words, misspell some too so she can show all her new friends and they can have a high old laugh and tell her not to marry such a fool?"

Well…he had a point. He usually did, whether Edward wanted to hear it or not. But writing these letters was not what was getting Edward in trouble. That was Black.

"I'm telling you right now you don't get the cajones to declare yourself, clear and with authority, she will never come back to Texas. "

"Plenty gals will take her place then," Jasper folded his arms. Edward had seen him this stubborn all his life, but never with the fear underneath it like now.

"Well maybe you'd like one didn't sell her glory hole regular," Edward said.

Jasper took umbrage, even though that hole had not been defined. He pulled his hat off and stood straight.

"Better save that sass for that letter. You are gonna need it, brother."

Edward was done trying to save his brother. "Mama," he called.

She appeared from the lean-to. "I am here," she said, drying her hands on a towel.

"Sit down, Mama," he said pulling out her favorite chair.

"I am busy, Edward."

He kept holding the chair. Edward looked over his shoulder and noticed Jasper wasn't going anywhere.

"Mama…I am fixing to go down to Old Mex."

She kept staring at him, not looking left or right. Mama was a little thing, wiry and still strong. She had slowed some, he could see it, but that was to be expected. But she was still a spry one, like Jasper, or her like him in so many ways.

"Mama," he said, leaning his hands on the arms of her chair, being careful of her little feet in their black boots, "is there any more you can tell me before I leave to go down there?"

"Yes," she said, not even blinking. "You done ordered that furniture and it will be freighted this way. You've no need to go and meet some kind of trouble. You've started all this…this grand house. You need to stay with it." Then she blinked, just once, and her mouth settled closed with those lines around it looking like it was stitched that way, never to open again.

"Mama…Charlie Swan gonna tell me something? Cause you know I'll ask."

Mama looked at Jasper. Her work worn hands that felt like leather were clasped in her apron covered lap.

"Mama?" Jasper surprised Edward by saying.

Mama's mouth opened, and she kept looking at Jasper. Well they all loved Seth, and Bella Marie, but Jasper was Mama's heart.

She had water in her eyes. Edward straightened slow. He'd not seen Mama cry since Pa, and never easy like some, like Bella maybe. But she had water now. She looked at Edward. "After Seth there weren't no more. I'd die, the doctor said. Didn't want to tell it to you boys…left with no Mama. But…I could barely pull it out…the every day…such a darkness come on me. Well…pish posh it is that way with women." She wagged her finger then, "Don't mean we're simple. Means we are as difficult as you menfolk suspect." She moved side to side like the chair didn't suit her. Edward had never seen her so, more wordy and…not herself.

"What is she, Mama? What is Bella?"

"Indians ain't like us, Edward. No, they are not. Seen that many times. Pa went in that house, there was nothing he could do, and Charlie…he's the one took her…and a boy…you was right when you said that. He took the girl…no one cared…a Kiowa child…," she lifted her chin and looked at Edward, "they killed them…so many. But Pa said no more killing now."

Jasper made a sound like a coyote, but Edward ignored. "Go on Mama."

"Well…she was in that blanket…remember?"

Edward nodded.

"And that was all. From the day I looked on her…she was ours. Yours too. You and her…it's the only way. It's what I prayed for." She buried her face in her hands and cried. Jasper hit the door frame and Edward soon heard his horse tearing across the yard.


	40. Chapter 40

Love Like a Hurricane 40

Even as a baby she knit them together. Ma favored Jasper, well she'd nearly lost him, maybe that's why or maybe she understood. But for Pa it was Edward. Seth was a little bit of nothing and they were all soft-hearted for him, but him and Jasper didn't pay Seth much mind, they never meant to best him, just each other, but they never took Seth serious. But she came along, and that drew them all close. At first, yes, but after Pa, even more.

She was no trouble, she never was. And she got to that walking stage and tired as he'd be sometimes he'd let her hold his fingers and he'd walk her around the yard and he always loved the back of her head, just so pretty and her sweet, just the sweetest thing God ever made. And his heart so broke for Pa, but they had her.

Now he was stuck with that and he couldn't let it go. She was pure. And she was Kiowa. And there it was.

She was the lamb Pa brought home. She was the one. Pa drew the line. Edward could go to Charlie and maybe he would and get the whole of it, but he knew how it must have been. Came down to them or you and yours, and loco set in. That's it. Came down to you wanted to live, and if you had to choose, you chose your own. You always did.

Was it right…God knew it was war. It was war when innocents were wiped clean? It came out of it, two ways clashing, hurt on hurt and rage and the ugliest things coming out. He let himself go and thought of the Indians…and this was what you quit caring about you were here long enough…you got so damn hard…you did…that sight of Pa…well they were hard damn men and if she came to them for anything it was to teach them, to always teach them…about the human…the sweet hope.

He thought about the way they shot Hybrow down. That's what they were. They went in now…after all said and done, and they killed need be. And they would do it again, he would, if he crossed with Tonico, even now, knowing what he knew, he could kill him and eat a steak for dinner and use Tonico's body for a table.

It got unleashed, is best way he could say it. They were full-fledged bonafide wranglers by ten. By twelve he was a man. He stepped in. There were no tears, no comfort. Mama, Seth and Bella, well Edward would do anything. And he did.

Then Jasper through the war, him in Old Mex and he had killed enough men to notch his post and kick up some raw wood a-plenty by then.

Death had gnawed its way into his soul alright. But whatever it was…he could wash at the pump and she'd come running and he knew he was dirty and shouldn't touch her littlest toe, but she would never turn her back on him, thought he was the rising sun…and he could hold her, feel her little heart beating like a bright bird's….his Bella Marie…and his life was hers. All the years. Just hers.

He rode Alameda and he stopped along the way and tried to figure it out. She would take it deep, the knowing, oh she'd go the longest trail with it…but he figured she knew, she was Indian, she'd lived close to the land…she knew who she was now Black was away…and himself, yes he'd been just as much a distraction from her listening to herself. First time she had a chance now. She knew.

Well, he'd sent her to Kiowa school. But that river, oh when he thought of it, that Mississippi, day he went upon it everything would change, he'd leave his role as brother behind, and Jacob Black would step into that cast off suit, and him, Edward, another…the place even Mama knew….

The river had taken it all, his money, his guns, his clothes. That river had meant to kill him, and the only thing that stood against it was those upon that water, Suan, Po, Bella…Jacob.

Edward knew he had died. Mississip killed that stubborn self of his, that's all, the rest of him, the part that needed to listen, and never quite could…well…he was listening now…just like her…and that's what she'd wanted, that's what she'd meant.

He wrote a letter in that frame of mind: Dear Bella, I was remembering what you said that night outside of Memphis, how you'd promised God you'd marry me if I lived. Heck of a thing to try and hold a girl to such a promise, but I don't. I want you to come to me purely because it can't be another way…for you.

Have I declared myself? Well I reckon such takes a lifetime for what I feel is so alive, it can only grow.

I was stern in my last letter. I don't want to be that way with you. I think I forgot to say how proud I was. Remember that night on the breezeway when we first talked about you going to that school? I remember that, holding on to you. Remember what I told you? How you'd set that place on fire?

How there has always been something so fine in you? Well I may not agree all that was in that piece you wrote, I may know this is Black speaking like I said, but I don't hold it against you, girl. You should know that. I can't hold a grudge with you at all. If you were to write something else, then I could even be happier, I think. Apparently you got a gift. You always were such a good speller. And clever?

Well, I got going on Black, but I want you to know, not that I take back anything I ever said about him and wish I had opportunity to say it to his face so he'd back the hell off from you, but I am so glad he has left that school and you can just be a girl there learning some and all. Well that was always my intention, and here he came…but some things you can't argue, they just are.

He did us good back on that river and in Memphis. After that his horns started to show. Well enough ink on that one. You told me I must be civil to him or some such, and I will not be picking him daisies anytime soon, but there you have it. Must we see him again? I have no desire to. You did not say if he's coming back to Almira College. I hope it's long after you are home. And if we have to look upon him this side of heaven, well I shall endure if he is reasonable. But remember the scripture: Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbor's house lest he grow weary of thee.

Just remember, I am already weary of him.

Now I am not happy you will be gone so long. How can I be? But if I am honest this is a time when I am pulled four, five ways somedays with all I got going on so I will console myself that at least you are finishing and won't have to go again, leave me again, or me leave you, though that may come up I can't promise, not for our whole lives anyway, and this cattle business is booming so who can tell, but I will never part from you easily.

Alice Sue has not written. That one time back and I think you must have made her for Mama's sake. So I must ask so I have some crumb of hope to throw Jasper's way…well is there a crumb of hope? I don't wish to expose him, so I ask privately, but I have never seen him so lovelorn. He would knock my teeth down my throat (he would try, for I am back to full strength) if he heard that but it is the best way to say it.

Any hope at all? If you could put in a word, well…I reckon he would loll if he were a longhorn. I reckon he's that stuck about now.

We had neighbors cut their herd from ours for a thousand head we were sending with three others. I do not say this to cause you any distress, Bella Marie, I do not, but the article you wrote has walked through here now and some are het-up you would write such. Some say there is no plan to kill the Indians nor can they expect to steal and kill and not bring wrath on themselves, others know it is undue harsh, but still others deny the Indians suffer at all, and yes some say they are not human, and others are upset about the way it's handled, and some just want it handled and some, like our Pa…yes, our Pa….

Well I can go no further. You must know, I am not in any way ashamed of Pa. He was a man I have hoped to come close to in the way I conduct myself. I will say this once and you will have it here, if he did somethings that were harsh, well I have followed him in that. In the now, that's where things can get forged ugly. I did not ever know him cruel. Not ever. But I did know him as a man would do his duty as he saw it and would stay when it got bad.

I have witnessed things that only God can forgive, and I have done things. This land did not come easy. This life has not come readily. I have stood for my family. I have stood for my neighbors and this Texas that rises out of all the bloody want. You must know this, Bella. You take me girl, you take this, not my sins, no girl, never them, but this sinner, this man. Me. Such that I am, all that I am.

You, my beauty, you, Pa got right. And I reckon Seth as well. And Mama, picking her. And seeing what this ranch could be. And fighting for Texas, like it or don't, I am proud, proud, even while I shudder.

But you…Bella, were an act of love from our Pa, no matter what else, it's you shows me something about him, most about him, the very bad…and the very best. And both ways, Pa breaks my heart down. He does. And I love him.

But you…our little light. You are the new world. You are the answer…for Texas…for me as a man. You. Whatever comes, whatever is…well this time apart has been crucifying and beneficial. I have always been yours.

Forever,

Edward Cullen


	41. Chapter 41

Love Like a Hurricane 41

Marcus was skinning a coyote on the front porch. Well it was close here, always children around, boys and girls and they all wore dresses and had bowl haircuts. The younger girls took them off to a cabin out back when someone like Edward rode up.

"Mama," they would say, or "Aunt Rosa," and she would come. She would come, hiding that pipe.

Minga, Rosa's sister, did what she wanted, and he would go there and take some beef, and to smoke and drink, Jasper would and Edward didn't like it, Edward would call him out and he had not come around here for a good while, but Edward knew he'd be here now.

Minga took a man here or there and lots helped out around here for Edward reckoned those children were a part of quite a few, this one and that, but none belonged to Jasper far as Edward knew. He swore he did not join with Minga or Rosa, as he feared disease.

But menfolk meant money. Jasper would give it all, or they'd take it he'd be so passed out in the backroom. How he could come like this, stay two, three days, set this kind of example here where no one seemed to care and children were silent.

"Hey Mister Edward," Minga said coming to the door in a dress just covered her blessings and all. He could smell her alright and Jasper would have lice again, damn him, and that was the least of it. Edward went in and it smelled sour and he laid money on the table and Minga laughed and Rosa came out too and they wondered when they were gonna get Edward in their bed, and he stayed stern for the children had scurried, but it wasn't right what they heard, though he was not there to judge, just gather Jasper.

"He in back?" Edward asked.

"Two days now," Minga said and her and Rosa laughed.

Edward shook his head and he went back there, and there Jasper was, naked and sweat and stink. He'd smoked that peyote like he'd do.

Edward slapped his dirty foot, slapped it hard on the bottom, three times more and called his name.

He roused some, Jasper, and smacked his lips and muttered, and it was the war maybe, and he sat up then, his eyes so glazed and the haze in them so thick.

Edward got mad, madder than Jesus at the moneychangers. He'd of tossed that bed of defilement if he hadn't meant to get out and not be low. So he got Jasper up, and he was rough and yelling at him, got him leaned on the wall and threw his clothes at him. "Get your britches on," Edward yelled, and Jasper could barely get his leg in, and Minga tried to gather his duds and his boots and his guns, but she was nearly as worthless as Jasper and she couldn't stop laughing.

He got Jasper outside, him in his britches and them not buttoned, and he held him by his hair and that one was muttering and arms flailing, and Edward moved them quick to the trough there and it wasn't filled fresh ever and Edward stuck Jasper's face in and held him under, just held him there and that one started to struggle to life some, and Edward fought him enough he struggled even more.

Edward let him up then, and Jasper gasped, and Edward dunked him good three more times before Jasper found the strength to fight some, but he'd as soon be a gnat.

Edward threw him on the ground. He saw to Jasper's horse then and Jasper paid Marcus to see to it, otherwise it'd still be in the saddle no doubt. He got that horse ready and led it out to where Jasper still laid on the ground, on his side there. Edward filled a pail then and dumped it over Jasper. He did that a couple of times until Jasper sat up and roared.

"Get your ass in this saddle," Edward said, then he mounted his horse and waited and Jasper slowly got up, got his shirt on, then his boots and even his hat smashed over his greasy hair. The rest he stowed in his saddle bags and he got in the saddle then.

They rode then, and that one looked like death. Edward couldn't look at him for some miles, then he did look and he felt his anger rise up and he had to wait a couple more miles until it spread out enough he could speak. "What kind of man you want to be?"

Jasper glared. That's always what Edward got for his trouble and he was well-nigh sick of it.

"I asked you," he said.

"Kind I am," Jasper said. "Gimme a smoke."

"You smoked enough," Edward said. "Must want another go of Gonorrhea. Guess we can send to town for the syringes."

That did get Jasper's attention. "I didn't go at Minga or Rosa."

"How you know? How the hell you know that? You get naked to smoke that peyote?"

"Shut up," Jasper said and they rode quiet.

"I'll ask it one more time…what kind of man you want to be?"

"This kind."

"Ain't good enough then. I don't want you around no more."

"We breaking our sweet union then?"

"We send our cattle you need to go on. I'll send the money after. Mama and Seth don't need this."

"You mean you."

"I mean you ain't fit. You gonna be this man I can't be partners with it. You go off everytime there's trouble. What good are you?"

"What good are you? Building a house for her…she ain't even supposed to be with us. Pa was wrong. I won't hold it against her, but she's no sister. She's nothing to us."

Edward halted his horse. "You got no part with me then."

"You already said so."

"I mean…no part in the family."

Jasper halted. "You don't say about my family."

"You don't say about mine."

They stared at one another. "Get home and get cleaned up. You think on what I asked. You're ready to tell me…I'm ready to hear. Whatever you decide…it includes her and it means you accept. You don't…you can't…you got the littlest maybe…me and you are done. You said it before, now I'm saying it." Edward rode off then.

That night after supper he sat on the breezeway. Seth was out working a herd and Mama went to bed soon as the dishes were put away. He'd already walked through his house, looked at the stones going up, the windows and doorways cut, the pipes to carry water inside.

He had not written her since the letter that told her all his heart. It was hers now.

Jasper came on as the last light was dying. He was cleaned up, but still looked dragged through briars and shit. He smelled like Mama's soap, but he was hung on the line is what it seemed.

He was rolling a smoke, leaning against the column there. Edward looked off toward the tack-room where some of the boys worked pretty well round the clock.

Jasper smoked it down before he even spoke. But Edward was thinking this would be it, the time they would break for good.

"I don't blame Bella Marie. I ain't been close to her like you, but we've had some times."

Edward's brow crept up and he thought of Jasper letting her float along on his back when they'd play in the river. There came a time Jasper could do for Bella what he himself felt too strange about. Jasper and Bella, they'd been good together.

"I…I reckon I had me a vision on that pay-ote." Jasper looked quickly at Edward and away, his hand in his pocket now, one knee bent against that post.

Edward wasn't going to say a thing on this.

"Believe it or don't. I saw some…some things."

He waited.

"I saw this thing…like a medicine man…shaman maybe…all black…I mean like coal…but shiny. And I picked up a boulder and I heaved it there and it bounced off of him and he kept staring, and I didn't know what to do next…what to use…and I found me a tree and it was young and I snapped it off and held it like a club and I commenced to beat it against that black thing and it broke apart and I found another tree and did it again, and…."

Jasper paced some then, and he rubbed over his face and he bent at the waist and heaved and Edward felt some fear for he'd put his brother in that trough and if that cholera came….

But he straightened and wiped the back of his sleeve over his mouth. And his voice, "I couldn't…I couldn't figure it but I knew it had been there, all the time, it was that thing I'd been trying to get away from, but ever time I'd think I'd see it and I'd turn and it wouldn't show until I looked off and there it was, just out of sight, but there…you understand?"

Edward stared at him and wondered if that peyote cooked something vital in his head this time.

"Listen to me…you said you would listen."

"I am," Edward yelled.

"I seen this thing since I been young. I been watchin' for it and it's like a damn Apache the way it sneaks around."

Edward shifted, he didn't like this story. He didn't like no peyote stories.

"That's how I got naked. Marcus found me in the woods…and got me in to the house. He found my duds. They was…strewn all over, he said."

"A right proud story," Edward drawled.

"You ain't…I fought it."

"Well who won? I can't tell by looking."

"It was a warrior. It was Kiowa. But big. Bigger than anything. It was Comanch and Apach too."

"Uh-huh." Edward finished his smoke.

"You said you'd listen."

Edward crushed the butt under his boot. He did say that.

"I don't want to die," Jasper said.

Edward sat up a little. "You ain't never been afraid in a fight."

"You don't know. I been scared of a lot of things. But dying…in particular. I ain't been scared cause I ain't believed it could happen. But…since what Mama said…I know it can. Nothing is true. I…don't know what I believe in. " Then louder he said, "I got no peace in me."

Edward stood, looking back at the door with the screen. Mama did not sleep far inside there. "Whoa now," he told Jasper. "You still under the peyote? That's it. It ain't wore out yet."

"It's not that. It stripped me down. It came out…that medicine man."

"Okay now…this is sounding loco. You go sleep it off."

"You said you'd listen. You never do. But you said you would."

"I am. Damn it I am and you're still drunk."

"I'm not. I'm telling you I fought it…and it wouldn't go down. But I kept on…hours…until it blew apart. And I stomped on it. I broke it apart."

Edward moved his hands to his hips. He hoped Mama was hearing no part of this mess.

"Well that's good then," Edward said. "That's what you want."

"But I'm empty," Jasper said. "I got nothing now."

"You cleaned house maybe," Edward said.

Jasper was shaking his head. "I needed it. I didn't know. I relied on it."

"On that big black medicine man?"

"Damn right. That big black monster was me. I killed myself."

Edward wanted to get Jasper the hell out of there. And he didn't. This man was serious. And crazy.

"You are standing right here," he said.

"I'm just a husk," Jasper said.

"You are not just a husk. You're yourself. You see what I mean about having some self control? You see why I asked you what kind of man…."

"Listen to me. You have to help me. I don't want it to be you, I don't even like you, but I need help."

Didn't like him? He wanted to camp on that but he knew it would make this all the worse. "I'm listening. Go on damn it."

"I have not lived without that beast. And now he's gone I know I'll die."

That's when Edward did hear, first time. "You won't," he said.

"How do you know?" Jasper was pathetic. Edward was shamed for him being so weak.

"Cause…I done the same. It don't make sense and I sure as hell never smoked no peyote. Nor would I," he said judgmental like Jasper hated. "But…this could be one of those things turns you around."

Jasper actually fell to his knees like Edward was the angel Gabriel spouting good news. "How do you know that?" There was sickening awe in his voice.

"You ain't dead. That demon inside…you killed him. You had to. You're…you're free. You'll get used to it. Takes a while."

Jasper sat back on the heels of his boots and mouthed, "My God."

"I reckon it was loving Alice Sue done it to you. Same as me."

"You love her?"

"No." He didn't even like her, to coin a phrase, but he didn't say so.

"You're in love…and the two don't mix."

"But…I thought it was about Bella."

"Go on."

"That thing was Indian."

"Not really. Old hate…it takes the shape…that works."

"My shit. What shape was yours?"

"Um…same. But more like Jacob Black."

"And you battled it, and it broke apart?"

"Pretty much."

"When?"

"Oh…long about…day before yesterday."

"Like me?"

"Well…mine took longer. I'd been working on it."

Jasper nodded like that was the most inspired thing Edward had ever said.

And maybe it was.


	42. Chapter 42

Love Like a Hurricane 43

"No…not like that. Start over. Start over," Jasper said frantic.

Edward could feel a lick of sweat roll along his spine. Nearly an hour and only one good sentence, and that "My Dear Alice Sue?"

Jasper could write his own damn letter.

"I'm saying it the way I want to," Edward said, dipping the pen and scratching a big blue hurricane on his efforts, then wading the paper into a ball and pitching it across the room where it hit the wall and landed on the floor and one of the dogs came in the open door and carried it back out like he'd found a bone.

"No," Jasper said again, taking off three wide steps and kicking a footstool, dramatic as a girl named Alice Sue.

"You can't ask for nothing. You got to go hat in hand," Edward said hotly.

"I can too ask. It ain't fair I don't. She has to decide so I don't have to hang through the trap like this."

"It don't matter if you're hanging, it don't matter if you're doing the devil's dance. She might want you to suffer like a monkey on a rope. It's how you show you mean it," Edward insisted, trying to help this pathetic mess he used to have some crumb of respect for.

"You don't know Alice Sue. You got to be direct and kind of…stern with her."

"That's what got you here, you asinine bronco. Now listen…all you're doing is saying howdy. That's it. Just letting her know you saw a chickadee on a lilac bush and you thought of her."

"I ain't saying such horseshit as that!" Jasper roared.

"You want my help or not?" Edward yelled.

There was silence then as Jasper cradled his head. He looked up, his face red and his eyes swollen. "I ain't saying chickadee."

"Alright say finch…."

"No," Jasper was already saying.

"Say crow, say buzzard, say crane, say Chief Big Tree, say a big shiny black medicine man for all the hell I care and write it your damn self!"

Edward got up and paced. He needed to be up crack of dawn and holding the count here tomorrow and it was well on midnight with this nonsense, getting this poor buster calmed down and now working on his romance and he was just pitiful…just sadly pitiful the way he could not spoon a woman to save his life.

Edward went back to the desk, slid a clean piece of that paper his way and dipped the pen. He was muttering under his breath how he was gonna do it his way cause it was crazy to argue with a crazy man anyway.

So he wrote in his script, Dear Alice Sue, and Jasper was over his shoulder again, practically kissing his ear and giving him shudders as he said loud enough to make Edward wince, "My Dear Alice Sue, put 'my' in there like I said."

"Back off," Edward shouted and he knew they kept Mama awake where she slept in Bella's room cause that door was thin as a cracker.

It was another two hours of misery before they had something Jasper could approve, and you'd of thought he was signing the annexation of Texas for all the posturing to get his hand just right on that paper, and then the pen was dry and he huffed and had to start posturing all over again.

Here is what they had: my Dear Alice Sue (the 'my' squeezed in), Well howdy. How you doing and all. I reckon you are fine and getting smarter everyday. Not that you weren't smart when you left. You always seemed so the way you could put them hats together and such, especially that one with those flowers that moved in the wind, I nearly picked them so I could give you a bouquet one time, I nearly did.

Well, we all are doing quite fine. Reckon you are too and that's the thing. Reckon you forget to think about me sometimes. Well that's okay. Just…not all the time I hope.

Well…here's what I wanted to say, dear Alice. I shouldn't of put you over my shoulder that time. I truly regret that. And what I wanted to say was…well you are too fine a lady to be done that way.

And me…well I am trying to be better. I quit drinking. And I don't want no other woman. If she were naked before me I swear, Alice Sue, I would cover my eyes and find my horse and get on it and ride away. I would flee is what I'm trying to say.

I am a changed man. I can't tell you about it…maybe someday. But you are going to see a change in me.

I know it makes you mad when I ask you for marriage. I am not writing this myself because my hands are still shaking from the thing that changed me. If you read about Goliath in the scriptures, there at school, you'll pretty well know what I been through except David cut off Goliath's head and I guess I cut off my own.

But other than that, that's pretty much my story except David gets made king…and only you can do that for me. I won't ever be what I'm supposed to be in this world without you, Alice Sue. And if I could undo all them things I'd done to you…that snake…I shouldn't of done that…and that frog…that was the worst…and all those times I hid your little reticules or one of your shoes…and making you cry that time I wouldn't stop repeating your words…and then acting like I couldn't hear you Fourth of July…and that firecracker thing…I shouldn't of done that, man my age. And kissing that girl so you'd see. I didn't like it…that kiss. Not none of them. I hurt you, I know I did. I deserve to die. I don't know why I'm still alive and if you don't want no part of me or my love, cause it's like I told you when you went running off, I love you, I did say that, or I meant to if I forgot.

But…you don't have to marry me. You don't have to do anything I want. And even still I will keep loving you.

I am not a man of fancy words, but I did hear this once, "What would not I give to wander, Where my old companions dwell, Absence makes the heart grow fonder; Isle of Beauty fare thee well."

When I think of a woman…there's just you, Alice Sue. An Isle of Beauty. And I don't want to say good-bye. I want to say, I do.

Please write to me when you aren't too busy with your life at Almira College. I will be waiting while I rope the cattle. And if ever you needed me to come, I would. But feel no obligation.

Your servant,

Jasper Cullen

My God, Edward thought later as he lay on his bed and tried to will himself to sleep but still he could not. My God, he thought, Jasper had a poem in him. He could not believe it. He had remembered those lines from school. It was past believing, but he'd heard it come right out of his brother's mouth.

And Edward got to thinking, did every white man have a poem? Did every brave, every slave? Had God put a poem in every man? Did it take a woman to make him find that poem? And when he found it, did it mean he was ready to be a husband…or ready to be a man…or were they the same thing?

Well it was a thought. But Jasper…had a poem in him. Jasper Cullen had a poem.


	43. Chapter 43

Thank you all.

Love Like a Hurricane 43

"What the hell?" Edward said aloud, his arms and legs snapping to. He'd been lying abed, the moon washing his wall a nice blue. He hadn't been able to sleep after the letter writing with Jasper, and now that one was standing in his doorway stark naked.

Edward almost fell out of the bed, and even still he sprang for his revolver there on the night-table.

"You ought to come out here and see this moon," Jasper said.

"Get some damn clothes on," Edward whispered and shouted same time.

"I'm wearing some," Jasper said stepping further into the room. Edward could see it now. He'd made him a loincloth of sorts, like the Indians wore, a flap in front, a flap in back, whole side of his ass hanging out there.

"I need to tie you up?" Edward said through his teeth cause he'd about had it.

"I ain't loco. I swear I'm not. I built a sweat lodge and I wanted you to come out and sweat with me."

"I been doin' that my whole life. Right now matter of fact you pecker-wood."

"I been confessin' every man I ever killed. Now I shot forty-seven I know of. In the war sometimes…I ain't sure. But I killed thirty-eight give or take." Jasper folded his arms. "You reckon I should tell Alice Sue about Hybrow?"

That did it. Oh, that did it. Edward left his gun on the bed and he flew to that naked man and grabbed him by the ponytail he had there and he commenced to dragging him out on the porch.

Jasper didn't protest or fight, he just went along backwards and Edward threw him in the yard then, and Edward followed quick after and got down in that one's face and he said with some real Texas verve, "You ever say his name to me again I will tie you to a crosspost and let you bake in the sun until your lips split like 'maters.'"

Jasper said, "I didn't know if I should tell Alice Sue. If she knew…maybe she would hate me. I got to be willing…to be honest…if I'm gonna start over with her."

Edward grabbed him by his hair again, like he done at Minga's, and he knew that head had to be sore, even hard as it was.

Jasper didn't fight, but he did hold to Edward's wrists to take off some of his weight.

Edward threw him again and got nose to nose. "You selfish yellow belly. You think that's for Alice Sue you'd tell such a thing? That's to ease your own mind. You'd put it on her to ease yourself you buzzard."

Edward stood up then, Jasper sitting on the ground gaping up at him, his parts on display cause that towel didn't cover a thing.

Edward kicked his leg. "You get your britches on and shut your mouth and let this poison run out of you and get your ass back in the saddle come mornin' and do your job."

Edward was glaring at him, hands on his knees and huffing, and Jasper was looking back, but just looking, all that wise cracker face off him.

"What?" Edward said. "You determined to wear a necktie? You say that name it will catch on the wind and next you know…I got to tell you this?"

"I been a bad man."

"So?"

"I never thought of putting it on her, like you said. But you're right. I done things so bad…only God can forgive me, like you said."

"That's right. Don't you ever crack that door to Alice Sue. You hear me?"

Jasper nodded. "Thank you."

Edward straightened now. All the anger was running off. "Where's your sand? Where'd it go?"

Jasper shook his head. "I told you. " He sat there looking up and Edward remembered him young, before the war. He had not seen such a look of innocence on Jasper for years. It took him aback. He couldn't figure this state…couldn't believe it. He seemed sincere…but he was wearing strips of muslin.

"We got a lot of work around here, and it ain't for no dandies. We got to have some hard tack in us…you know."

"Edward…you reckon my sins are forgivable? I mean…there anything like them in the good book?"

He wasn't a preacher. But Mama, she'd made them hear it all the time growing up. She read it for pleasure, she read it to them for punishment, too. Well mostly punishment.

"Look…there's always some got to do the worst so other folks can be good. Mostly that is the menfolk cause women are naturally better than men and if we do the horrible things we preserve the good. In them."

Jasper nodded.

"Now…reckon…we done what we did. We have to protect the womenfolk and children." Well, this was getting so miserable. "Stop asking me all this. I ain't your new shaman now you killed the other."

"Well…back in Illinois…that one who's name I can't say…."

"He's the one threw me in the river. Soon as I looked on his face I knew it," Edward said.

Jasper looked hopeful.

"And he was after Alice Sue. We already settled this. He was a killer…he was a master over women. This world ain't shed a tear on him."

"But…Alice Sue changed me…and…maybe she changed him. Maybe…."

"Cut it out! He was the kind takes the good…and makes it bad."

Jasper nodded, but it lacked full conviction.

"If you wouldn't of shot him, I was fixing to."

Jasper nodded again. "Guess I'll sweat it out in the lodge then."

"Sometime next few days you take some meat over to Minga's and have Cookie make some candy for those children. You tell them you're sorry what you done over there, too."

Jasper nodded.

"Get up, man. Get on your feet." Edward yanked Jasper to a stand. "You still got to have fight, got to strike fear into the wrangler…or anyone around Texas. Just…not the womenfolk. That's what makes us different than the other…bad ones. We take care of our women and children. The rest…what we do to those being hellacious…we got to bow the knee on it and carry the hell on."

"Seems right."

"You sweat out those dead men and leave them in there. Can't carry a dead man around forever. You start to smell like him. Hear me?"

"Thank you, Edward."

Edward patted Jasper's naked shoulder but a breeze came and filled that loin cloth like a sail and Edward pulled his hand back quick.

"In the morning," he said, "we won't ever say this again. It's over then. And it's almost morning."

Jasper nodded. "Alright. Alright Edward. But…you reckon this makes me fit for Alice Sue?"

"She's the only one can say. If she lets you in…then that's a sign."

Jasper nodded again. "That makes sense."

Edward hoped it did. Cause he was creating a gospel as he went and it was damned hard work.

Spring in Illinois was a pretty sight. Things got green and flowers bloomed out, daffodils and plum trees and Iris like purple velvet.

Bella Marie held Edward's last letter in her hand. He had bred Alameda and there was a colt. Oh, she ached to see Edward…and Mama…and Alameda and that colt running behind, oh she ached to see that and if she closed her eyes she could imagine it, she could smell Texas, she could see it…she could see him. Oh, she ached to touch him…her Edward.

She wrote him and Mama together, the news any student might send home. She did not speak of what Edward had confirmed…that Jacob Black had spoken truth about her. She was Jacob's sister. But she read that letter more than anything, and she kept it close as she had his bandana once. And something was in her, love and knowing…knowing at last what she was. And she was not weak in what she felt, but what she felt was growing a voice, and it was like a bangtail some ways, or like Alameda when she first learned to ride and control a horse, well that's what she'd have to learn to do with the feelings inside of her, they were that big and grand and powerful.

And she was pretty mad. She got mad easily these days cause she was full of feelings and it didn't take so much to get her there…to anger.

Around here, she noticed two things, well many more things as she was learning oh so much, but she learned that women were of two minds on marriage. Many thought it the act of a simpleton, and for women to change their lot they had to find a higher pursuit than marriage. That higher pursuit seemed to be fighting against something—men—for they seemed to hold the power everywhere one looked—to change something for the sake of the trod upon—women, Negroes, and Indians.

These women seemed to see themselves as a collective Moses shouting out, "Let my people go," to a variety of decision making institutions with all the power of Pharaoh-another man-to oppress.

The other camp were the ones who were engaged to marry regardless of being given the opportunity to receive a higher education. These women were not as confident as the 'unengaged' seemed, as if they had tried to sell themselves behind a saloon rather than saying yes to a suitor.

It was nearly a shameful burden, sometimes, in certain company, or certain discussions, as if being set to marry entailed a disregard for one's responsibility to relieve the suffering of mankind. So to these lofty ones marriage meant running out on calling and wasting privilege.

Well, that made Bella mad alright, as in furious. In Bella's mind, that opinion meant an educated woman was as narrow minded as an educated man, believing marriage and motherhood so mindless and simple, only those without opportunity were fit to rock the cradle. Or more raw still, that women's work was only for the dumb.

And that was Bella Marie's next article for the school paper, The Feather Duster, so named with the understanding it was the job of each journalist to write in such a way that cobwebs were removed from peoples' minds, or at least swiped at.

So Bella burned the lamp well in to the night and she wrote and wrote, all over the place, she wrote herself into gullies and rivers and she had a mess of ideas, none of them fully formed or even fully understood by one so young and undeveloped as her.

She wished Jacob was here to go over all of this with her, but he was in Washington now, and furthermore, though he knew injustice and unfairness, he did not have the least idea what it meant to be a woman!

Now Alice Sue had joined those who scoffed at marriage. She practically led their parade.

As a rule, Alice did not seem to get entangled in any solid position on any of the raging topics around here unless it had to do with the 'tainted scales,' of men in general and those hoping to snare a wife, in particular.

As usual, Alice had developed a whole skit for the stage on the comedic horrors of being a rancher's wife. And that had only fueled Bella's fire for this whole permeating disdain Alice headed up toward marriage…and Texas.

One of Alice's favorite quotes seemed to be, "In Texas we're way ahead of y'all comes to prizing women. We got a saying there, 'One woman worth two mules.'"

How Alice's admirers did love that quote.

Then Alice added, "Too bad the woman only gets one jack-ass when she gets hitched." Alice got a roar every time, but she only added this line when the professor's weren't listening.

So Bella took on that popular position at Almira College that eschewed marriage. To do so she began with the poet William Ross Wallace's famous line, "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." In her article Bella posed the central question, "Should the world's ruling hand be given the opportunity for higher education?"

She went on to fatten that question, "If, motherhood is the most profoundly important office for planting and watering the seeds of change in the tender hearts and minds of the world, shouldn't she be given every chance to be educated as far as circumstance and opportunity allow?"

But the more Bella tried to understand the scope of this issue, the more questions she found, better questions that elicited better answers than she knew: "Doesn't ignorance beget ignorance? Is not the opportunity for higher education a seedbed not only for lofty thoughts and actions, but for teaching the value of such to its recipients as they live and grow under such a bower? Would this not be the most determined way to breed sympathy for the neglect of fine feminine minds called to learn more and possibly occupy different seats in life's arena than the ones they are normally assigned by that old school master called Tradition?

Would a fresh consideration of the place of women in the world not help foster the cry for colleges formerly closed to women to consider opening their doors to avail our nation's daughters more opportunity?"

Well these discovered questions from those more able to formulate such made Bella so excited she could imagine spending the rest of her life trying to learn their answers.

So she poured over these questions with Miss Irina, hammering them out and premises, at least, as she struggled to build honest answers.

Miss Irina deepened Bella's quest with biblical insight. She asked, "What was originally intended for women in the Garden of Eden?"

"Punishment in bearing children?" Bella asked, knowing she was so very small in her ability to answer.

"Women," Miss Irina said, "were created to rule with men. Beside them. They were given an equal mission of being the other half of God's image on the earth. The woman was so trusted in her role as a leader, her husband Adam did not question her misguidance when she'd offered him the forbidden fruit. She, along with Adam, ruled! Everything else, came after the ruin. That domination and Eve's acceptance of it was the curse."

"Does that mean women must accept the curse they are now under?" Bella asked.

Not according to Miss Irina. "God's intention was what transpired in the Garden—side-by-side. Two strong individuals ruling their world together. When a woman settles for less she misses God's intention, and she misrepresents the God she claims to serve," Miss Irina said, and rather heatedly.

"Oh Miss Irina," Bella whispered in awe, "may I quote you on that? But I've got to tell you, in Texas we call those fighting words."

"Then make sure you can prove your points, my dear. Or you may become a casualty of war. But just remember this, daughter of Texas, intelligence does not grow in an airless box of acceptance," Miss Irina said before sipping her tea. She set her cup in its saucer. "The Apostle Paul said it so aptly, "Your tradition kills."

Bella was on fire. What Miss Irina had described in the Garden was what she wanted with Edward, though she would have never known how to define it and say it so eloquently. If marriage was that, two strong individuals ruling together, then marriage was worth fighting for.

She did not expect that her own fears would find such respite in the pursuit of a greater cause as she worked to write a fair piece for The Feather Duster. But they had.

She took long walks to hammer out her opinions. She spent hours talking to the other students, gathering insights from both sides of the aisle. It was there she began to find a commonality in each woman she spoke to, a destination point to reach while expressing her thought in The Duster.

Their point of agreement, their communion, so to speak, their white flag of truce was in what Miss Irina said, women were also meant to bear God's image and they needed more opportunity open to them so they could do just that. They needed a chance. And they would continue to knock on the doors of colleges that were already established and the ones that would come in time all across these United States to throw open their doors and allow women a chance to prove themselves capable.

Bella could not wait to see this article in print and to share her ideas with her beloved Edward. She could only imagine he would be as joy-filled as she was to learn of their equality.

Edward stood in the doorway holding the missive Bella had sent, and it thick as a herd in a bottleneck.

It had included an article, one he only partly understood. And the parts he had understood—well he wished he had not.

What kind of school had he sent her to? Was this what they were getting for his money and all this time spent apart?

Then the warning at the end of her letter, how the Advocate had also picked up this article from, "A Daughter of Texas," and it would probably once again grow legs and no telling how far south it would go, so he should know that, she said.

Well he already had enough trouble from her last one, and add to that Jasper now who had traded his boots for moccasins and his chaps for buckskin britches with fringe. He was likely gonna get mistook for Indian and shot, or worse, shot anyway, and either one Edward was going to have to avenge it, even while many days he wished to pull the trigger himself.

He sighed heavily as he returned to his desk and his ledgers. It was going to take him days to translate everything she'd wrote.


	44. Chapter 44

Love Like a Hurricane 44

Edward jumped down from the fence. They were running cattle for the count. These should be on the road already with summer pressing in. They'd been running herds straight up Texas for a month.

First he'd noticed Jasper riding in. Seth had shouted it out, but Edward had felt no inclination to pay attention. His ears were tuned, always, for the sound of shots or trouble. It was friendly sounds he'd barely note, or the constant remarks how he was fixing to marry a suffragette or a lady preacher. He was weary of them. They weren't funny and there was work to do, and he'd punched a couple of noses but that took too much time and strength and he had none to spare, not when he was counting.

Damn busy time around here. They had cattle going in three directions, three trails. Add to that he was making a drive to the Fort down south a ways where he'd meet Charlie, that's if old age hadn't taken him. Charlie was freighting his furniture for now Edward had rooms to set it in.

Jenks was sitting in his wagon working over the numbers Edward gave him. Jenks had only recently decided to put his pants on and behave like a cattle man. Maria had birthed a son not long after taking up with Jenks and she'd wanted him to marry her and give the boy his name. So Jenks married her, and Paul was none too happy as his wife, Jenny, had left him, and this son of Maria's was not to inherit, Paul said, for he meant to get Jenny back.

But that was not happening this side of glory looked like. It wasn't done often, but sometimes a woman couldn't take it around here, and with the Indian troubles and the endless work, Jenny lit out for home and her family sent her all the way to New York where Paul couldn't get ahold of her.

Paul's house sat there, a rising castle partially done and very confused. Jenks moved in to the mess then. It had served to get him going again, though now Paul was drunk most days.

So Jenks adopted little Rodrigo, and even being usurped didn't get Paul off his ass.

Jasper riding up was a distraction from the tedious work of planning three drives at once, and then he had that Negro kid with him, Minga's kid Marcus.

Jasper was waiting to speak with Edward and he saw it and felt damned buggered. Couldn't see he was doing five things at one time while that one ran more beef to Minga's?

"Got us a wrangler," Jasper said soon as Edward turned his head in his direction.

"Ain't he needed at home?"

"No sir," Marcus said. "I'm goin' on my own."

"What's Minga say?" Edward asked, open to either answering.

"Minga says I got to take one of them cause at least one could be mine," Jasper said, and Jenks about spit his cheroot he laughed so deep.

"Get that notion out of your head," Edward said, to Jasper and Marcus both. Bella may be Kiowa, but Jasper had no Negro Edward knew of. And fathering children with whores was nothing to laugh at.

"He ain't your Pa," Edward repeated to Marcus in case there be confusion. Damn, Jasper was not ready to bring any strays home for playing pa to.

"I belong to me," Marcus said.

"Reckon how Minga and Rosa gonna get along without you?"

"Ma say get," Marcus defended.

"Well you get over to Stover there and he'll set you up, but you be slothful or troublesome in anyway there's more wanting your job and they shall have it."

The boy grinned, "Yes sir."

Edward glared at Jasper.

"What's these duds about?" Jenks said to Jasper. "Paul said you'd gone crazy."

Edward found his stomach twisting at the thought of Jasper answering such a question.

"I'm trying to be worthy of Alice Sue," Jasper said.

"Alice Sue?" Jenks repeated as if trying to remember the name.

"She gives me the nod I'll be asking for her hand," Jasper said.

Jenks laughed, small at first, then more. Then he got serious real sudden, a trait Edward had seen before and never liked. "She's off at that fancy school. What makes you think she'll want the likes of you? Look Apach to me." Jenks took off laughing again, but it wasn't friendly.

Jasper sat still, staring at Jenks. "I know I ain't worthy of her yet. But I'm trying to be."

"Worthy of her? Thing of it, y'all ain't declared what you're gonna do about the land. You settle and partner in…," Jenks began.

"He owns this same as me," Edward interrupted.

"Nah, nah he don't. That's not how your pa set it up, and you boys know it. It's Edward decides it. That was always put on him."

"I have decided. Me and him, Seth, partners."

"You ain't put it on paper that way," Jenks said.

"He wasn't around then and Seth was a boy. How many you know got the papers? Jasper decides to stay, he's got his share and I'll make it right," Edward said.

Jenks shook his head.

"Nothing for Alice?" Edward said, for Connie always fought that Alice's husband would have a share.

"No need. Y'all got a big enough piece of Texas to run for governor," then he laughed some more.

"Jasper marries Alice he should have a piece of your spread," Edward said.

"I ain't asking for nothing but Alice," Jasper said, with some of his old shit on you tone.

"But it's fair," Edward said.

"You gonna do the same for Bella Marie?" Jenks said.

Well that wasn't worth answering. He'd told Jenks the day Paul asked there was no need of them to give Bella land when Paul was the only heir to Jenks' kingdom. In such a case there was dowry. Edward believed in that. Jenks knew. That's how Jenny came to Paul, her situation the same as Bella's, three brothers. She'd brought dowry.

Edward said, "Paul is all you got."

Jenks did not say.

"And Maria's son?" Edward said.

"That's nothing to you," Jenks sneered.

"You're pulling back on the deal," Edward said. "Alice comes with land. If Connie could claw up from the grave she'd do it now to hear you say you're cutting Alice out."

"You're marrying your own sister. We see how far your greed goes," Jenks said. "Good thing you'll have her. None around here would the things she writes."

"What am I supposed to do, Jenks, call you out now? Shoot an old man off the seat of his wagon cause he's so ornery he looks for every way he can to make his willy work again?" Edward said.

Jenks chuckled, but it was not friendly. He pointed at Jasper, "That one there, he don't need my permission to marry Alice Sue. She can't even send a letter to her pap when her own mama dies…I say…what daughter? I pay for school out of respect for her mama. That's over, I'm done." Jenks picked up the reins then and went off.

"Edward," Jasper said, "Jenks isn't good enough to be Alice's pa."

Edward snorted. It wasn't fair how Jenks was doing her, but truth to tell, Alice probably wouldn't care as she had no love for ranching. But dowry, she had a right to that, and Edward wondered if Jenks meant what he'd said came to culling her out of the herd.

11111111111111111111111111111111111

Alice Sue had not gone home for summer either. She had chosen to travel with the orchestra and chorale group instead. They had embarked on a three month journey north and east, playing at many venues such as churches and county fairs, even political meetings, and one all-male college. They were the voice of Almira, showing the masses that women who had been given the opportunity of higher education had not sacrificed talent or charm. They were winning folks over one engagement at a time.

Her tired group had just arrived home in time to begin the new term. Alice was going to continue her studies, Jenks was happy to send the money, and Alice had an opinion on that, knowing that one was only to happy to pay to keep her as far away from him as he could. And that was fine, for Alice Sue had no wish to ever look upon Jenks again. Or so she said.

So it was once again fall weather, a whole new school year, and Bella walked ramrod straight through the women's dormitory where Alice Sue lived along with twenty-seven others. They were all studying music and literature, and they had their club for melodrama and performance in general, and they were a talented, bright, bothersome, wearisome, loud group.

Alice saw Bella's approach and was just stuffing a letter she'd been reading under her pillow. In her haste she knocked the first page to the floor.

Bella drew close and knew at once it was from home. She recognized Edward's hand.

"Does Edward write to you?" she asked Alice Sue right off, stooping and retrieving the missive before Alice could.

"No," Alice said snatching the paper from Bella. There was a ring of falsehood in Alice's quick response.

"I know his hand, Alice."

They stared at one another then. Bella felt she barely knew Alice sometimes. But when she was angry, she knew her the best. For she liked to take aim then. And that one gave it right back.

"Is my Mama faring well?" Bella asked trying to hold it off, her anger.

"Far as I can tell," Alice said, lifting her pointy little chin like Bella had accused her of something.

"Well, what does it say? Can you tell me some?"

"It's many weeks old. We're just now catching up to our mail. Well, it's the most infuriating letter a woman ever got…but it's mine," she said, but the sting of tears were there.

All Bella's anger went away. "Jasper?"

Alice nodded and sighed same time. Bella plopped beside her on the bed.

They sat in silence for a spell. Bella had Edward's letter of love and declaration on her, and she wished she was close enough to Alice to confide this, but she felt protective instead.

The other girls knew they could fight like sisters in pigtails, and that was putting it mild, so those ones gathered what they needed and scurried out, no desire in them it seemed, to once again witness a showdown between the girls from Texas.

Alice grabbed her pillow and bunched it angrily on her lap, the letter exposed after all. "I want to forget Jasper Cullen, those eyes blue…and deep…looking at me and making my very bones…my very innards…."

She punched that pillow, "I want to hate him even, like Pa…that damn Maria her figure like melons this way and that under her dress…and me like a board fit for chopping vegetables upon."

Alice started to cry then but she broke out of it and nearly yelled, "He's…in my mind…like…an arrow in my brain. Remember that story…my pa told…that man shot in the head? Pa said if they'd left it alone, that man would have lived but he'd have to go around with that arrow sticking there. That's how it is…Jasper Cullen stuck there and if I try to pull him out…a river then…it'll kill me."

Bella patted Alice's shoulder. She hoped this was not another scene in another play.

Alice rocked back and forth and continued, "I only came to this school so Jasper would come after…and he did…and he just keeps on coming." She all out wailed now. "He speaks love to me…to me.

"And…I don't know what to do with him. Him mad…I could stand…him mean…I could stand that too…but this…this sweet…. And I thought on this trip…well I thought I'd travel him right out of my mind. I saw some handsome fellas…I did. And when I would sing they would elbow one another and grin at me…but Bella…all I could do was miss him more than ever…damn him…cause no one…compares."

"Well you'd never know you favor him at all the way you speak of him…your jokes," Bella said.

"But don't you see? It's all I can do. I keep thinking if I make him something to laugh about…that I'll start laughing too…find him harmless…keep him harmless…and how he looked at me when I turned him down…now these sweet words…arrow in my brain. He's ruined me…all I've worked so hard to say about him and Texas…for the stage…I've worked as hard on it…as you've worked to write your stories for the paper," she procured a hankie from her sleeve and she blew her tiny, freckled nose.

"He's everywhere I turn, even while they laugh at the things I say…about cowboys…and menfolk…and Texas…he wants me on that ranch…so I can be like Mama…cause I reckon she felt this way once about my old pa…dog of a man…I reckon he was something once…don't you think Bella?"

Bella tried to answer, but Alice went on, "Don't you think her heart must have opened once and said yes? Isn't that what has to happen so you jump that cliff and hope…you can reach back…and he'll take your hand…and y'all will fly?"

"May I…?" Bella asked, holding out her hand for the letter.

Before Bella could finish asking Alice scooped up the letter and slapped it in to Bella's hand.

Bella read it quickly, it wasn't long, but curious? Oh my. "He cut off his own head? And he's changed. And…Isle of Beauty? None of this sounds like Jasper," Bella said. "And it surely isn't Edward. In some ways it's like a child wrote it. But it's…it's the way a lover speaks in the end. " Well Bella knew something about that now…a lover's words. She knew, and her fingers grazed Edward's letter tucked in her chemise.

Alice looked at Bella, tears dripping off her chin, "It's Jasper. His hands were shaking, he said. I think…I think he's sick. What if…he has the cholera?"

"No…Edward would have…I mean he'd be dead by now," Bella said.

"Or he's lost his mind?"

"How?"

"Maybe he fell off his horse like he does when he's drunk. Or maybe he was hit in the head with a shovel. There's many ways it might happen."

"Well…."

"But my heart tells me…I have done this to him. I think he's gone crazy because I won't marry him."

"No," Bella scoffed.

"I reckon you think he couldn't go crazy over someone like me, but you're wrong. I no longer think poorly about myself so pick your way carefully."

"I didn't mean it that way…."

Alice got on her feet. "I was destined for the stage and Jasper Cullen was going to be my terrible sacrifice. But now…he's broken. I broke him. And it's only fair if you sacrifice the strong…the perfect. But the wounded…you're a scalawag if your sacrifice one of them. And I'm a scalawag cause I'm hurting him. Right now…he hurts. And what if I am playing a game? What if that's all it is? Cause I don't like to travel like I thought. I don't like it at all. And the stage…it's lost its pull on me. But Jasper…I love him. And I've gone through everything to go right back to what I knew that day at the bar-be-que."

Bella took a deep breath. She needed to stay loose here. It was possible Alice was the one who'd lost her mind…and if not…maybe she was finding it.

"Maybe you…need to get alone…away from these girls you've lived with so long…and consider what's in your heart, Alice," Bella said carefully.

She had noticed how the other students did not settle matters as directly as she and Alice Sue seemed to. The others were more apt to shoot in the back, make a snide remark about your hair or your dress or the way you walked or your buck teeth or your thick ankles. That's how the others did it, but right now it was just the two of them…no threats over their heads…no one applauding…or pulling them one way or the other.

"Are you saying you want to marry him? Texas and all?" Bella said.

Alice looked at Bella. She was torn, but she was clear. Bella had not seen her this way in a long time.

"Yes," she whispered. "I always have…I always will. There is no other. No one close…not for me. I wish it weren't so…but I'm…afraid of how much I love him. I'm afraid of it."

Bella understood. She'd been the same.

Alice continued, "I reckon I'm more like Mama…since she died…it's like her ghost got in me. I swear I don't know when to pull on my own bit, I don't. I'm so proud. But I'm scared of love. I think of my old pa and…I reckon there was something in him once made Mama give him a chance. I know it's hard to imagine, but once she must of looked on him and saw enough she took a gamble…on love. But it went bad…and she stayed drunk…and sad…and she wasn't cold in the earth and he took another. She was right…he didn't love her. He didn't know how to. Not in the long run, he didn't."

Bella held Alice's hand.

"They divided us children. He took Paul and I was Mama's. That's how they stood it, I guess. But the ranch…she hated it…the work and drear, the dust…in everything you owned…no way against it. But mostly…she hated him I reckon."

"Alice, you ride, you shoot. You sang with me at church, you sewed and danced for your mama. If ever there was a girl who shone in Texas, it was you," Bella said.

"I miss it. I miss home," she said softly.

"It can't be pity, Alice. If it's not Jasper, you have to let him know once and for all. He'll listen."

"You're solid, Bella. You always are. It's always been Edward…you're the one made him well, Bella. You're the one got us here. You're so strong."

Bella could hardly believe her ears. She tucked Alice's stray hairs in her bun and patted her cheek. "Alice Sue… I'm not strong. I'm just…sure. I told you once…committed. I don't spend time digging on a cistern that won't ever hold water.

"I love Edward. Even before he was ready to hear…I already knew. But I've been scared too. I needed to come here to see I could hold my own. Maybe that's what you've been most afraid of. That day at the bar-be-que…we didn't know we had any power, I guess. But I don't feel that way now. I've fought with that man across miles, and we're still in the same corral. Maybe it's been like that for you and Jasper."

"I think it has," Alice whispered.

"And what it's worth…you're nothing like your mama. Not Jenks either. You're someone so special no matter where you go you'll put a smile in folks."

"You mean it?" Alice had the prettiest face, and when she smiled it lit her little features in the most fetching way.

Bella nodded. "I do, Alice. Well, you're the star of Texas."

Alice clung to Bella. Bella patted her back.

"I miss Mama," Alice whispered. "She was drunk by dinnertime, but she was never mean to me…and she was mine."

"She loved you, Alice."

Alice drew back. "Who's going to know that here but you, Bella? I don't know why I treated you so poorly."

They commiserated some, and they held one another a long time. Bella finally said, "I haven't told you, Alice, but I wanted to so badly. Jacob…he was right. Edward wrote me. I'm…well I am Kiowa."

Alice was the one patting Bella's back now. "Well…I got Jenks and Mama…you got the whole Kiowa nation. I reckon…Jesus loves the overcomers."

They laughed then, together, and it felt so good.

Bella sighed. "Alice Sue."

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Months later, long about winter, Edward was in bed when the dogs set off cause a rider approached, tail out.

Edward was quickly outside, Jasper running from the bunkhouse, Stover behind him, those six still on the ranch who just came in from the trail appeared, all of them were armed.

It was one of Jenks' men, a rowdy Jenks relied on most, by name of Enoch. That one looked hell to pay. "Paul…scalped and mutilated."

"Shit," Jasper said.

Not now…well not ever. Edward went back in the house, told Mama and she fell onto a chair. He got the jobs girl and told her to set with Mama and he got dressed quick and got his guns strapped on.

Mama was back on her feet coming after Edward, gripping his shirt, "I'll go…the body…," Mama said.

"No Ma'am. It's like Pa."

"Maria…bring her and Rodrigo."

"I'll see, Mama," he said.

"Bring her," Mama said. "He…he'll take it out on her."

Well Jasper was already sending everyone out to stand guard. Enoch said Jenks had sent men to ride for the army.

Well damn it all, they took it quiet and ruinous in their spirits, but thing was they may need to settle it so this was no time to get distracted. They left Seth with Mama. He argued some for Paul was as much brother as themselves, but with most their men on the range or running cattle they could not spare more.

So Edward and Jasper set out for the Cope's ranch.

At Jenks' house a bonfire burned in the yard. Others came from around. Jenks sat on the porch of Paul's unfinished house, rifle over, his hair up and his eyes glassy with the crazy comes when you got to face hell. So Paul was in front in the wagon, no attempt to cover him, right out like that so Jenks could see, so they all could. Jasper covered Paul with the blanket there, arrows tenting the weight of that wool, and Jenks raved, but Jasper didn't care.

Edward went to Jenks and grabbed his arm and that one was out of his mind.

Edward said, "Get ahold," he yelled that out, and Jenks stopped then, shut up.

Maria was crying. She sat on the porch's floor, in the dark cold, and her face was bruised red. Rodrigo sat on her lap, his eyes wide.

Jenks would get to raving what he'd do to the Indians, commanding Edward to go for them, bring him a couple of braves, clean them out, men, women and children, don't let one alive, then he'd get quiet and finally he took to weeping.

He yelled for his canes, he wanted to go to Paul and look on him close, and Edward had the wagon brought to the porch and he got on one side, Jasper on the other and they took Jenks down the stairs and up close and Jenks pulled back that cover and looked then. It reminded Edward of him and Jasper looking on Pa, well Jasper didn't want to look, but Edward had made him, so he wouldn't forget, so their pain would match, so they'd hold it together…like brothers…and they'd know…hate.

And there lay Paul, the meat and bone, the blood and smell, the fierce, the rage, and Jenks made a sound, from deep in, his neck closing on it, his head twisting and a sag in his limbs.

And Edward breathed in and thought of Bella Marie, and oh girl, it would never be over, this war. He was glad then, glad she was far from it, wondering if he should ever bring her home. He was glad she was not near it, the old wail, the old war cry, the red pool they'd been born from, fire and rage, the wound that was Texas.

They stayed until morning and others were there and they would hold off burying that body until the army came. And when it was time to ride, Jasper had asked Maria to come with them, and she would not leave Jenks. But she insisted Jasper take the baby.

"Take him to your mama. Anything happens…he's yours," she told Jasper.

"Maria…all this time. You come with us. I'm not going to leave you here to die."

"You hear me?" she said strongly. "He's yours."

"Mine? Does he know that?" Jasper meant Jenks.

Maria shook her head. "He can't know. For Rodrigo's sake. I told him…I was forced."

"Holy shit, what's he gonna say when I take him?"

"He'll be okay. I'll say Mrs. Cullen wanted to care for him until Paul is buried."

Jasper took the boy without further ado. And sure enough, when Edward really looked, Jasper's image was there.

"Johnny damn Appleseed is what we got," Edward told him.

That night, Jenks threw the lamp and Paul's house caught like tinder and Jenks burned him and Maria down.

And just that quickly Jasper had this son Rodrigo, and the ranch that came with him. He had Marcus, his Negro charge, and that one's sway-backed horse, and that one's quiet stare.

And Edward looked out there at Jasper standing holding the one, and the other smoking already, and staying close, walking behind. Edward said, "She-it," for the way things ran. He wondered what in hellfire Jasper was going to do. And life ebbed and flowed, went away and came around. Just like that.

So they dug more graves. And Edward tried to think of what to write to Bella Marie and Alice Sue. But writing was futile. There were no words weren't cruel. So back and forth they went, Mama stubborn to stay on the place, but they were tired of stubborn for them being soft with Maria had cost her life. So Mama said they would keep the baby and him and Jasper should go and they told her she'd be staying at Fort Worth with Seth until the Indian trouble was contained.

"Bring Bella home," Mama said, as if Edward might leave her on the train, "…and Alice Sue. Tell them…time's come."


	45. Chapter 45

Love Like a Hurricane 45

The notion of leaving Mama, Seth, the jobs girl Anna, little Rodrigo and Marcus in Fort Worth was proving a difficult thing. Mama didn't like so many folks around, Marcus wanted to go with Edward and Jasper, and Rodrigo looked so lost, well Jasper didn't want to leave him.

"It's womenfolk he needs at his age. We can't take him all the way to Almira, it would be too hard on him," Edward said all fatherly.

"Children go west," Jasper said.

"What if he gets sick? You ain't no ma." Edward said.

"I'll take him to the doc. He's a hardy boy."

"There is nothing hardy about him. He's the quietest, saddest kid I ever seen," Edward said low, hoping Rodrigo wouldn't hear, but if he did he wouldn't understand. Truthfully he was one robust child, the spitting image of Jasper, down to the curly yellow hair. Why he'd never noticed…well they hadn't seen him with Jenks keeping to himself. No wonder Jenks had been taken by him. But he was sober as a judge, always studying someone with those serious eyes of his.

So Jasper kissed Rodrigo's cheek and that one cried when Anna took him, and Jasper dragged it out taking Rodrigo back and babying him to death.

"If you would get the hell out of here he'd stop," Edward said. Then he left, cause he couldn't watch it anymore, his brother in love with a kid he didn't even know he'd made.

Seth waited patiently on the buggy seat, for he was driving them to the station. Edward climbed up there and sat beside him, muttering to Seth and himself how he wished for once in his life he could do what he knew he needed to without a whole wagon-train of nonsense on his tail.

When Jasper didn't come out after ten minutes, Edward went back in, ready to flip some tables and take names, but inside something had changed for Mama was packing up that child and looked like Marcus was going somewhere too and they paid Edward no attention at all.

"What's this?" Edward said, his stomach doing that clench.

"Now he's got those clean drawers, two pair. Maria done very well by him," Mama said to Jasper.

"I said what's all this commotion?" Edward asserted.

"Edward be still," Mama said, very stern. "Now he has a stack of flannels, and you wash them by hand of a night he should be okay," Mama said.

Edward felt some fury. "I am leaving for the stage. Adios."

Edward went out then, and Marcus came out behind him, knapsack on his shoulder.

"Where the hell you think you're goin'?" Edward turned and asked.

"With Jasper, sir," Marcus said, his bottom lip showing his uncertainty as it protruded and he kept still waiting for Edward to do something it seemed.

Edward muttered fierce, pushed Marcus aside and charged back in the house to be yelled at by everyone, even Anna, for nearly clocking Rodrigo with the door. That one was in Jasper's arms bundled against the weather, looking like he was going on a long trip.

"You're out of your mind," Edward said to Jasper.

"Calm down," Jasper said, and Mama was backing him up like usual.

"It makes sense," Mama said.

Edward kept shaking his head while they went on.

"If I just tell her, Edward…but if she sees him…," Jasper said.

"You're using that child," Edward did say.

"No," Jasper said, "He needs me and I don't want to be parted from him. Time I get home I'll have missed more of his growing, and I missed enough. Alice will need to see him. He'll help her. She's lost…but she has him…she has us," Jasper said.

"Edward," Mama said, "we allow you to rule and you do a fine job, boy, but on this you're out-voted. Alice will need that child. If she just hears about him, it will be more pain. But if she can hold him…she'll see her future."

"And Marcus? She need him too?" Edward said sternly.

"Well I need him," Jasper said sheepish. "He helped raise Minga's brood. I can hardly take Anna…seeing how I've been. And Marcus…."

"Should have stayed on the ranch like I said," Edward referred to another argument they'd had when they left the ranch.

"Edward…this is my family now, like I told you. I know all you've done and I'm beholding…but I say on them…what goes."

Edward closed his eyes, "My God, are you sure wasn't me Pa brought home from the Kiowa, for I feel no affinity with y'all whatsoever."

Edward opened his eyes when Mama threw herself on him. She had her arms around him so tightly. "You are mine. And Pa's. No one else's and we love you."

Edward turned five years old right there. He looked at Jasper and that one was smiling, their tiny ma declaring such in front of all of them. Edward gulped, then remembered to pat Ma's bony shoulder. Damn her.


	46. Chapter 46

Love Like a Hurricane 46

On the train, Edward looked out the window, his back nearly turned toward Marcus riding next to him holding the baby who squirmed miserably, tired and cranky and not the best smelling though Marcus insisted he hadn't shit. But damn it all, and there was Jasper across from Marcus, hat tipped over his eyes asleep. Edward kicked Jasper's boots and his brother used one finger to raise the hat's brim.

"Papoose stinks," Edward said.

"He clean," Marcus insisted to Jasper.

Jasper smiled. Smiled. He reached for Rodrigo and that one threw himself toward Jasper and said, "Pa," as Jasper had so proudly taught him on this endless rattle and hum.

Well, this quiet sad baby boy had about come alive on their journey. Edward blamed Jasper for he'd not gone ten solid minutes without holding that boy and coddling him, and that little mite got this look of indulgence on his face, his eyes heavy with Jasper's adoration, and he'd turn into little Satan himself, slapping at them and screaming top of his lungs if they tried to settle him down or show any displeasure over his antics.

Jasper walked Rodrigo up and down the aisle or Marcus did, and every woman on that train taken in by little sonny, cooed and oooed. Well he'd had more kisses and hugs and little toys given and bits of food, which meant he shit as constantly as a big baby bird.

And Jasper kept throwing his diapers off the train.

"Mrs. Cullen said you had to wash them," Marcus insisted, for what was that one going to do when this kid was out of britches, let him squat in the aisle? Those ladies wouldn't be so sanguine then. Edward held off holding Rodrigo too, for he had no wish to smell like piss and shit, or to be drooled upon. He was, afterall, hoping to marry Bella in this very suit if this god-forsaken train could haul its ass to Illinois before his seed dried up.

Jasper started to sing in Rodrigo's ear and that one stretched out, a smile on his little lips as he listened pretty well hypnotized.

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"No," Jasper said next day, different train, and they argued across the aisle then. "We let them graduate then I take her off and I tell her."

"How we gonna get around it when we show? You got Maria's kid! How you gonna explain it? I have to tell Bella, don't I? I'm gonna spend an evening with her and not mention Paul and Jenks and…," Edward looked at Rodrigo who was studying him with his sober eyes, "…and all?" Edward finished.

"We get a room and lay low until the ceremony. Marcus can mind Rodrigo. You and me will go to see them end their schooling that way," Jasper said.

Edward didn't know how they could put off giving the bad news…well how he could with Bella. He wasn't going to be in the same town as she was and not break his neck to get to her. They needed to lay the worst out right off is how he saw it. Then they could only go up.

But Jasper resisted so they quit talking on it cause Edward knew they'd both do what they wanted to anyhow.

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When they had reached their destination, they were a rumpled, sorry group. The baby had turned in to a hellcat all the time now, but who could blame him? He only did what they all wanted to: cry, squirm, shit his drawers, slap faces, dig in his heels cause it was taking too long and whoever called train travel an improvement over the river, well it had its marks, but it was miserable in its own way.

But they were finally on the platform and Edward sorting their bags and the baby well past his diapers, and wearing their bandanas now, and Edward wasn't too happy about it.

"Well damn it anyway," he muttered as he sorted through their truck, throwing a few things aside as Jasper could handle those since he'd brought the whole state of Texas so it looked like they were moving in here, which might not be such a bad idea with the sky so full of weather.

He was bent over trying to place everything in a reasonable stack he could get ahold of when he felt the tap on his arm, "Edward."

He let go of everything he already held, just let it fall there in a heap and he stood and turned and there she was…wearing a heavy cape, a hood and fur around her face. She was the same…and different…and even more beautiful and how was it possible?

He did the first thing and grabbed her right up and there was no hesitation in Bella at all. She put her arms around his neck and he swallowed what felt like a rock for he was so filled with joy and sorrow over homefolks and love and mission and tenderness…and fear. Yes fear, he didn't know why, fear she had somehow changed her mind on him, or she'd never really picked him in the first place, just fear of losing her. And she was crying, and it was more than happy hello tears, it was deeply sorrowful. "We've watched for you, every train for days. We were ready to give up," Bella cried. "How's Mama and Seth…Stover and the boys?"

"They're all fine. Mama and Seth are in Fort Worth until the trouble is over. She won't leave Texas, and Seth is as bad." Edward did his best to soothe her.

Then it dawned on him that Alice was there as well, and she wailed, and Jasper had gone to the frosty ground with her, holding her, and the baby sat up in Marcus's arms to peak at the scene, but even that child knew it was best to keep still.

"Bella saw the report in the Advocate office, the Indian trouble and them dead," Alice was saying, "my Paul is dead…Jenks and Maria, too."

Well Edward came back to this earth and he realized he had lifted Bella off the ground so he set her down slow.

"Oh my God…how can this be?" Alice Sue said, looking up and noticing first time the Negro boy standing there holding the quiet lamb who peeked at the crying woman sitting on his new pa and carrying on.

Alice scrambled to her feet and took steps toward the child. "Paul has a son?" she whispered, looking quickly to Jasper as he slowly got on his feet and opened his mouth to answer. But he didn't need to as Alice was already taking the baby from Marcus, her eyes never leaving the child's face. "Oh…he looks just like him…oh…," and she turned to Jasper, a smile on her trembling lips, "but why would Jenny…where is Jenny?"

Jasper's mouth opened again but before he could speak Alice stated, "This is Maria's boy. Maria had a son…and Paul…oh my stars no wonder Jenny left him."

"How you know about Jenny?" Jasper said finally finding his voice and of all the things Edward expected him to say, asking about Jenny was not one of them.

"The paper said Paul's wife was estranged. I'm just guessing…but I'm right. You brought Paul's son to me! You brought me little Paul! Oh Jasper, you…I love you so much," she went to Jasper and with the child between she pressed against him and of course his arms encircled Alice and…the boy, but he looked at Edward over Alice Sue's head and Edward smiled at his brother. It was weak…that smile…for damn Jasper better get his words going, but then again, how did they know? Maybe they'd all seen what they needed to in that baby.

She squealed then, Alice did, and truth to tell he jumped and he knew Jasper did.

"He has the strawberry on his wrist, just like Paul," she said turning Rodrigo's arm so they could see the red birthmark on his pale skin. "It's a miracle," she said looking at them all, then at the baby, "You're a miracle. And you ain't alone. Not anymore. You've got Aunt Alice, that's for sure."

And that baby stayed quiet and took it in. But he'd not forgotten Jasper. He reached for him then and said, "Pa."

Jasper cleared his throat, "Well I felt that way about him too. I…planned to keep him. If…if you don't mind."

Alice studied Jasper with watery eyes and a flush on her face.

Jasper swallowed loudly. "His a…his name is Rodrigo. He's about one and half again."

"Rodrigo," Alice whispered.

"First night after…when Paul died, Maria asked me to watch him. And her and Jenks…they died in the fire right after. So…."

Alice nodded. "She trusted you."

"Me and her…you know it was long over. She…could see I'd changed I reckon." Then he motioned awkwardly toward Marcus, "This here is Marcus. I'm watching over him…too. His Mama has so many and he wants to wrangle. But he's good with the baby. A real help to me."

Alice studied Marcus. "Hello Marcus. How old are you?"

"Ma-am," he said nodding. "I be about eleven."

Alice pursed her lips, but she conceded. She looked somberly at Jasper. "You have changed," she said.

Jasper nodded. "Yes Miss Alice Sue. Had me a wife I guess I'd be the luckiest man."

Jasper stared straight at her and some seconds piled up.

"Well," Alice said moving the baby high on her hip. "We best get to Almira before we all freeze to death."

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The cold saved them from further explanation as they had plowed through it to Almira. They were unwrapped now and seated in Almira's dining hall. Rodrigo was running wild amongst the tables with Marcus doing a piss poor job of following after, winding the baby up even more in Edward's opinion. But Alice Sue could not take her eyes off that child, and she carried him around and showed him off, that's if she wasn't on her knees watching him and clapping, a mix of joy and tears.

"I can't believe how he's the spitting image of Paul," Alice said all out of breath as she bounced the little star on her hip. Jasper looked to Edward like he was on the peyote again. Alice Sue had about undone the man. You could see Jasper worshipping her every word and deed.

Alice's face was tracked with tears, but she was a mix of grief and love holding that one she insisted was Paul coming round again.

"It couldn't have been easy to bring Rodrigo. Y'all did this for me. I've been so sad, and now…well seeing y'all…and this little…gift…. Thank you Jasper. You too, Edward. I don't know your hand in this, but I'm sure it's there. Y'all put hope back in me."

Far be it from Edward to mess with this nicely wrapped hornet's nest, and Jasper had always been exemplary came to keeping his mouth shut and allowing folks to draw their own conclusions.

Then another group of students stopped by to meet "the cowboys," and giggle and blush. These around here seemed to think they were something to simper over, like they were from China, and not these United States, so how different could they be for pity sakes? But Alice must have talked about them plenty for these girls seemed to know all about their lives back in Texas and seemed to find them fascinating.

He was weary of waiting for a minute alone with Bella. It was jolly here, students singing carols, and family's milling about, there to see their scholars graduate or to take them home for Christmas.

Edward stood each time introductions were made, like Jasper, like Marcus even, though that one was just imitating, then he'd run off again after the little wildcat Rodrigo.

Edward had Bella's hand in his, his fingers on her pulse. He sat as close to her as was proper considering they were at the school. It may be selfish, but now that Alice was calming from the sadness some…well he wanted Bella alone. He'd waited forever. And in spite of the echoing noise he counted her every breath, and he couldn't wait much longer.

"We can walk a bit if you'd like," Bella said cause she could pretty much read his mind sometimes.

He felt like a fish thrown a well baited line. He stood at once, jarring the table. He was going to be alone with her, even if it would only be five minutes, and he prayed it would be more, but even so, he'd take it. He went to the hook on the wall and retrieved her cloak and her mittens and scarf from the shelf, and his own coat and gloves.

He went to her and slid her cloak up her arms and raised the hood around her pretty face and put that scarf around her neck and she laughed and took over, pulling her mittens on too.

He told Jasper and Alice they were getting some air, and Alice said to go on, but she had a goofy smile when she said it.

So he took Bella's elbow and led her outside, and they were silent, and it had begun to snow and the ground crunched under his boots.

"Where are we going?" he said.

"My cabin," she answered. She was direct and he did not question, and she was leading, and she readjusted and took his hand, and he held to her mitten. He did not wear his gloves but had shoved them in his pocket. He wanted nothing to hinder him from touching her.

Their breaths puffed white, and he followed quiet and she led him there and pushed the door and it was warm and she pulled off her mittens and laid them on the table and she lit the lamp and a soft glow then. She went to the stove and added a shovel of coal and closed the door and put the shovel in the bucket. She brushed her hands and she unwrapped her throat and undid her cloak and took his coat, and hung them by the door and turned to him, clasping her hands and she smiled at him.

And he crossed the floor, it wasn't very big in here, so two steps were enough.

"Where's…Black?" he said, hating to bring his name in here, but he'd been watching for him the whole time.

"Not here," she said. And she unbuttoned the first three buttons on her dress and he meant to whisper something about not yet for he was sure he shouldn't be in here alone with her, and Miss Irina's image was in his mind, but his eyes were on her hands, and she reached in her underclothes and pulled a letter, well he knew right off which one and what it said and knowing she kept it close like that…well they were getting married soon as possible.

Then she redid the buttons as she held the folded pages and he swallowed. He took that missive and held it to his nose and breathed, then he tucked those sweetly warm pages inside his jacket, in his shirt pocket there where the ring waited, pounding strongly, loudly as his heart.

"That's mine," she said, stepping close, her hands on his chest. She meant the letter but the ring was hers too.

"I'm yours," he said.

"And I'm yours."

"When?"

She laughed. "I…." She saw how serious he was.

"That reverend around?" he said.

"Tonight?"

"You need a fancy doings?"

"I just need…I just need you," she said.

"Wrap up," he said.

"But…," she laughed again. "You mean this?"

He left her and gathered their coats again, and all that went with.

She laughed, but she did not protest and they were soon bundled and he ran across the light dusting of snow, leaving tracks and laughter, and he stopped and gathered her to himself and kissed the daylights right out of her, and some clapped from far off as they had left the dining hall.

They broke apart then and they were nearly nose to nose.

"You love me?" he asked her.

"I only kiss men I love with all my heart," she said. He crushed her to him, then set her down and they kept on going to the reverend's office.

He was in, but barely. He had just reached to douse his lamp.

"We want to get married," Edward blurted.

"Well, I remember you," the reverend said, peering at Bella as if making sure Edward wasn't in some way coercing her.

"Can you say the words?" Edward asked.

The reverend went back to his desk and with slow movements he sorted papers and pulled out one, and had them each sign.

"Are you baptized, sir?" he said.

"Yes," Edward answered. It was a day he'd remember, getting dunked for Jesus, and though he'd not lived to it, for the list of his sins were long, he'd do better with Bella. He planned to.

"You must forsake all others," the reverend said.

"I do. I have," Edward said.

"Should we get Alice and Jasper?" Bella asked.

"Do you need to?" Edward said.

She kept staring at him. "I think so."

Edward sighed. If they went for Alice it would get more and more convoluted.

"We could wait until morning," the reverend said. "Perhaps Miss Cullen needs more time to think."

Bella laughed. She took Edward's hand. "Say the words, please Reverend," she said, her chin pointing straight at the good man. And Edward fumbled for the ring that came to him through Mama.

And they were pronounced.

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"These are the cabins for married," Bella said. "Jacob and I have been the exceptions."

They had left the reverend's office euphoric and except for Bella sharing this about the cabins, they had been silent.

They had tied themselves to one another, and to God the reverend said, by solemn promise, until death.

Edward held Bella's arm tucked in his. They followed the many tracks to Bella's cabin. Right now nothing mattered but that they had taken the vows. A great relief had taken hold in him, a great lifting. How had he ever doubted the rightness of being Bella's husband? He could sleep now. He could breathe. He could smile.

Their bags were piled on Bella's tiny porch. With Alice to carry Rodrigo, that would be the handiwork of Marcus and Jasper. They could hear the revelry before they opened Bella's door. Edward pulled Bella to the window and they looked inside. The first thing they saw was little Rodrigo standing in a bucket, doing a dance and laughing as he held to the bucket's sides. Alice knelt on the floor with rag and soap, also laughing and Jasper sat on the wooden chair holding a blanket, awaiting the baby to get finished with his bath. Marcus laid back on Bella's bed, his boots on the floor. He might be asleep.

Bella laughed. "They look like a family," she whispered.

Edward wondered how long it would take them to know it. Jasper, of course, already did. He wondered how close Alice was to agreeing.

Bella pulled on Edward's arm and they passed another lit cabin, then went to the one next to that, the one Edward well remembered was Black's.

It was not locked, and Edward was relieved. This was an extraordinary idea. So in they went, and it cold and dark. It was set up exactly like Bella's though and he went to the stove and stuffed it for a fire and she fussed with the bedding.

It was bare of Jacob's belongings. "He is coming back for the winter term," she whispered giving the blanket she's spread a last swipe.

Edward didn't care about Black's responsibilities. He felt justified to have such a strong opinion. He was husband now and that one a thorn in his side he would have to endure, but for Bella…anything.

He took Bella's hand then, and eased the hood from her soft hair. He kissed her lips and fought to pull away like a man floundering on a ledge. But he had to make a nest and he looked at everything.

The curtains covered the one window, and the door had a latch that could be pulled in. So he went there and did that, shedding his coat.

"Should I light the lamp?" Bella whispered.

He did not answer. But he went to her and undid the clasp at her throat and removed her cloak. It was still freezing for the fire had not penetrated, but he planned to keep her warm on the Kiowa's bed.

How very fitting it be this way.

He stood ready before her, his heart a war drum trying to beat its way right through that other heart she'd sewn beneath his pocket.

She got close to him, looking in his eyes, and her hands on his shoulders. She slid her hands down his arms and took his willing hands. His hands were so much larger than hers, he nearly laughed to see the difference. But they admired the ring on her finger.

She said, "When you were sick…your hands…idle and…well I held one or the other so many times…and even then you'd try to respond, but to feel them so…," she swallowed hard, and he stood submissive. Well she knew him, every inch of him, but not when he was well, not how she would know him now as husband. "They're strong again. You're like before…but…more.

She lifted one of his hands to her cheek and he cupped her cheek and he said, "I love you, girl."

And she smiled and nodded, and he went in slow and kissed her sweet pretty lips, and the anticipation and satisfaction that one thing brought to him about buckled his knees.

She made a sound and let go his hands and threw her arms around his neck, and he kissed her while he wrapped her in him and moved to that bed that squeaked and squawked and they laughed some as he landed there, well he did, for he wished they could make this room sound about as noisy as a fox in with the chickens.

She was on him now, him on his back, "I been lonely," she said, her braid falling out of its pins, "for you."

"And me for you. I been…."

"Join with me…husband," she whispered.

"Right now?" he panted, almost blind at the thought. "I can't just do it so quick. It'll hurt you," he chattered, one word joined with the next and him not even sure he made sense.

She was bold and fumbling, unbuttoning him and moving her skirts, "Join with me before I die."

"Well girl," he tried to say, but his head went back into the tick and he groaned for she had found him, the weapon in the sheets, yes like that, nights he'd fumbled for his rifle cause the dogs let on, that's how she found him, stiff and long and loaded and so damn ready to fire.

She was over him, but then she wasn't sure. "I…," she said, her face lust-filled but ponderous and determined and him about hypnotized by the whole unreal thing happening, his pecker feeling her velvet flesh, his darling, and if he tried to speak it would be gibberish.

And he felt some give, some tight amazing give, a ring of glory and only God himself could think of this for he was about to shout out hosanna or something, and he wanted to watch, but his eyes screwed closed and he did shout out then, trying to warn her not to hurt herself, then just as quick he didn't know words again but he knew his face was in an agonizing smile and worse he cursed, "Oh shit," and that was not hosanna but it said it all.

She lowered some, and she whimpered, and he was conflicted, and sweat on his forehead, a hundred degrees winter and all, her skirts everywhere, but oh my God, he panted like he ran a breakneck mile and she lowered some more and she said, "Does it hurt?"

"Nnnnnno" he got out, pant and pant, "Does it hurt…youuuuuu?" He lifted his head and tried to sound sincere, but this here, oh God, he had not known pleasure in his life. Not before this, this glorious girl, her face blushed and her mouth open and breathing and her eyes so deep and dark and new.

"I ain't…I ain't…." If he could speak regular he'd say I ain't sure I can last much longer, and she lowered a little more and he had to make an effort not to roll her onto her back and go to town pumping, but this was fine, more than fine, this was…oh God.

She was saying, "Ahhh," but it had pain in it, and it wasn't helping him, those sounds, cause he was about fragile now and needed no provocation to spill.

"I love you," she said, and he tried to say it back but this frenzy…worse than when Indians showed or rustlers, cause then he stayed sharp at least, but now shitfire. Shitfire!

She dropped on him and she said, "Don't move," and a laugh got out of him then for she had about bludgeoned him with such hot pleasure and then told him to still, and she didn't know…she couldn't know….

His hands went to her thighs then, still through her dress, he hadn't even seen her breasts, or anything, but he wasn't complaining oh Lord, God.

"What should I do," she said like she had hold of a gator or something, and he said, "I'm gonna lay you down sweetheart, okay?" Well he said that with heaving breaths.

She got off then and he felt himself weighty down there and he got over her, and between her sweet legs and her in her drawers even, under that pretty dress and he fumbled with his pecker and tried to be gentle as the back of his hand felt her wet and open to him, and was ever a man granted entrance to such a place…well of course, but how had the world known this and kept it so quiet, it just leaking out in poetry and songs and dirty stories around the fire, but not the ones he'd make with her, the stories, just for them.

And he searched for this place to put himself and he pushed a little, and she reached down and helped him and he went in a little and there it was, and he groaned, and she told him to keep his hand down there, and that meant she wanted touched, of course she did, and he probed with his hand and it was all too much, and she got hysterical then, "Right there," she said, then she cried out and he kept touching her until she stilled and she said, "Okay, Edward," kind of shy, but just as quick she reached for his hips and couldn't get very low, but low enough, she still wanted him as she was squirming and urgent and he started to move, each time afraid she'd break apart, but she was hardy in it, more than he believed, and she said, "Go, go," meaning he should move, so he did, and he tried to last longer than he had aside the house, but he didn't make it much further and the world blew apart, even his ears got hot and heard a great explosion, but it was just him spurting his seed like it was the Fourth of July down there, and damn, damn, damn.

He loved her. Oh my God he loved her. "Bella," he said.


	47. Chapter 47

Love Like a Hurricane 47

Someone was knocking. It quickly went from timid to bold. Edward's first thought was to go for his gun. Years of habit. But he held Bella Marie and it was not a dream. This was Black's cabin.

Bella was also awakened by the sound, and sat right up. Edward rolled off the bed and went swiftly to the door, hoping to hell he wasn't about to see Black. He opened it just a crack and peered out.

Alice stood there, shivering in the coat she wore like a cape, its sleeves dangling empty. Apparently she had followed their scant tracks to this doorway. Like them she still wore yesterday's clothes.

He opened the door wide. A hasty explanation took place, not by him, but by Bella, standing a little in front of Edward now. She held up her hand and the ring. "The reverend," Bella said, finally taking a breath.

"Your Granma's ring," Alice whispered, her eyes lifting to Bella's face, then Edward's. She plowed in to Bella, knocking her into Edward and those two laughed and Edward went along cause it was so good to see Alice happy.

"Bella! I can't believe you did it here and all," Alice said, too loudly for such an early hour…well the sun was not yet up.

Edward knew Alice's dismay was over the marrying and not the deed of pure pleasure that came after in this very cabin. But Bella looked at him, all sleepy-eyed and radiant, and he nearly groaned aloud for what they'd done, the memory so fresh, the act itself so powerful his legs still felt weak.

"They're going to string you up!" Alice said. "You'll be swinging from a necktie before we get a chance to graduate!"

Bella laughed.

Alice hugged Bella again. "You should have let me stand for you."

"We just…we just did it," Bella said, also not meaning the pleasuring, but the marriage. Edward's mind was in that one rut he guessed.

Alice congratulated them both, then she went to the bed and flopped down and Bella's hand covered her mouth.

"I guess I'm moved out," Edward told Bella then, his arms moving around her, and her soft warmth stirring his regret that they must part.

Well Edward knew this was a school and not a boarding house, and Bella had prevailed on him to go along. So he kissed his wife and allowed her to get back in the bed beside Alice this time.

He went to the wood-box and fed the stove, stoking the fire up good. Outside, he cut through the deep snow holding the empty kettle. Only Alice's tracks marred the pristine white that had fallen through the night. He pissed, then went to the pump house and filled the kettle and grabbed a stack of wood while he was at it. He returned the way he'd came and went inside trying not to wake the girls. He dumped that wood with care, then he set the kettle on top of the stove so they'd have hot water once they were up. They had piped water in the dormitory, but these cabins were simple.

While he dusted his coat he glanced at the bed and there they were, the two dark heads close and them already seeming to sleep so he reckoned he would not get a smile until they rose for breakfast in the morning. But soon as he thought that Bella lifted her head and pursed her lips to blow him a kiss. He did that right back, kissed the air, and she smiled and watched him leave.

He returned to Bella's cabin, still grinning as he dropped his coat to make a bed on the floor. He could see Jasper had not been lying by his lonesome for there was a telling space beside him with a rumpled blanket left empty.

Rodrigo was on the bed bundled beside Marcus and both of them snoring away. If Jasper and Alice had cozied all that time, they'd talked, maybe settled something. Lord he hoped so. No greater blessing than a man finding his other, his better, Edward reasoned like an old married man. He stretched out on the hard floor and sighed for he was already lonely for Bella, and a cup of coffee right now…well he'd never sleep, but with the memories he had of her…he wouldn't sleep anyway.

But he was wrong. Hours later, Rodrigo's giggle was the first thing to pierce Edward's mind. That boy was letting them know he was ready to go. "Pa!" he cried.

Edward smiled, but didn't even open his eyes. Jasper was the one who thought it so clever the boy could say pa. That was his call to duty now.

Edward sighed and rolled onto his side. He'd fallen asleep thinking about Bella, he had dreamed about her, and that's right where his mind picked up now he was awake.

Were he allowed one single night to lay with her, no interruptions, he would hold her all the night through. And come morning he would have her, and she would be willing was his hope and guess for she'd been eager as him to join not so long before.

He could hear her say that, "Join with me," and he would hear it forevermore. If he could strike a fairy story and live in it, it would be her saying that and what came after. He would make it his mission to be home with her every night he could. His days of living out on the prairie and branding were over. There were plenty hands to do that. It was folly to think he'd never have to be out, but he would be intentional came to sleeping beside his wife.

Lord God the bunkhouse back in Texas was a church compared to the noise Jasper and Rodrigo were making. So he sat up and rubbed through his hair and moved side to side to get out the kinks. Rodrigo stood at his bent knee, and that one smiling. "Pa?" he said.

Edward laughed then. "Get that out of your mind," he said. "That hombre there says he's your pa." Edward shot Jasper a look, but his brother was busy getting things ready for Rodrigo's care.

"Where were you off to?" Jasper asked, laying Rodrigo on the table to change him in to what Alice had obviously provided, nice soft flannel cut for Rodrigo's little butt.

"I…got married."

"To Bella?" Jasper said.

The smile went off Edward's face. "No. To Miss Irina."

Jasper stopped everything. "Well damn I knew you would."

"No you didn't. Not so quick you didn't."

This would be the true test of the change in Jasper. The old him would have been on Edward swinging about now, while Rodrigo rolled right off the table. But the old him wouldn't have taken on Rodrigo to begin with. Yeah, he'd changed.

"Well…you'll be good to her. Like Ma said."

"Oh…this about her being Kiowa? You think it might as well be me?"

Jasper kept his attention on the squirming child he was attempting to wipe up and dress. "It's always been you," he said.

Jasper finished with Rodrigo and set that one on his feet. He wiped his hand down his pant leg and stepped toward Edward for a shake. Edward reached and complied. Jasper's grip was firm and the shake was hardy.

"What you think about this business Alice claims…Paul and…you know…Rodrigo?"

Jasper was busy sorting through clothes for himself and the boys. Finally he said, "Reckon once we're married and she sees the red mark on my ass we can discuss it again."

Edward fell back laughing. Finally he said, "Reckon you and Paul were brothers?" That set him off on another round of laughing.

"You're the one marrying your sister," Jasper drawled.

That sobered Edward some. He sat up again. "Reckon Black took that title," he said, not able to shake the dread that Black was near. "What about you and Alice Sue?"

Jasper looked around like he was searching for something. He went other side of the bed and bent, holding his boots when he straightened. He sat on the bed near the still trying to sleep Marcus. He pulled on one boot. "Reckon I been plain as day. I feel her…on my rope now. Like you said."

Edward snickered. "Well," he gestured widely at Rodrigo as he ran the length of the room over and over, "reckon you tried a different one alright."

Jasper grinned as he pulled on that second boot. "It's working."

"How's that?"

Jasper stomped one foot then the other. "I mean it's working. You said get a new rope and I got one and it's working."

"They're getting married," Marcus said from behind Jasper on the bed.

Jasper looked at the boy over his shoulder, "You listen in?"

"I couldn't help it. 'Oh, Jasper,'" Marcus mimicked Alice Sue.

Jasper grabbed the pillow from beneath Marcus' head and hit him with it a couple of times while that one laughed.

"Damn kids," Jasper said, flushing red, and barely meeting Edward's gaze.

"Well what do you know?" Edward pretty well crowed.

"She said to keep it quiet," Jasper spoke over Edward and Marcus cause they were both laughing. "She don't want these around here to know," Jasper said.

"Well why the hell not? Bella don't care."

"She said they will tease and she don't want to hear it," Jasper said.

"You should have heard them," Marcus said all gleeful, sitting up now, his face more lively than Edward had seen it before.

"He spoonin'?" Edward goaded the boy.

"Enough of that," Jasper said getting on his feet and going for the kettle. He'd already put Bella's washpan on the table for Rodrigo. He added some more hot water.

Rodrigo was right there chattering, "Water. Water."

"Yeah pardner, that's water," Jasper said.

"Eat? Eat?" Rodrigo said.

"That's all he thinks about," Marcus said, and while he said it he rubbed his stomach.

"He ain't the only one. You get enough to eat back home?" Edward said.

Marcus shrugged. "I went out and killed it. But I always brought it home. I'd put it with beans. Mama had those."

Edward nodded. All boys liked to go into the woods, make a kill and cook it right there, gorge themselves into a greasy stupor then do it all again. But providing, that was in a man if he was any good. And this one had provided soon as he could.

"You did real good keeping up with that one last night. Well all the way here," Edward said, meaning Rodrigo. Marcus had a patient hand with little ones.

Marcus looked away, but Edward saw the smile. Boy didn't have a pa he didn't hear what he needed. That made him mad and it made him wild. But Marcus was not overtaken by neither. Having the children to feed had made him responsible. There was no denying his character for one so young.

Jasper looked at Marcus and smiled. "You get washed here Marcus," he said.

Marcus got out of bed and peeled off his shirt. He undid the top of his longjohns and let them hang while he washed. His longjohns were getting gray on the neck. Edward reckoned they'd change them pretty soon for they sorely needed to get their clothes laundered.

Marcus ran to skinny, but there were the beginnings of a youngster's muscle in his arms and shoulders. He'd filled out already cause Jasper kept him fed up. Well they all did. In Edward's house, everyone ate their fill.

Jasper seemed to want Marcus close. And that was fine. They were granting one another liberties these days. And it didn't pain Edward much now they were off that train. These two rag-tailed young-in's weren't so bad. Or maybe he was just in a damn good mood. Maybe that was it.

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Since last spring Bella Marie had been working in the office of the Advocate along with doing her studies. That's how she came upon the story about Alice's family. She was the one to tell Alice the horrible news.

Bella was mourning them, but the relief of graduation actually happening, along with the relief of being married to Edward and joined in every way, were strong consolations.

Leaving Almira would be bittersweet. She had accomplished a teacher's certificate, she had published two important articles in major newspapers. That feat alone gave a nod to Almira and the benefits of higher education for women.

It was at Almira she learned of her Kiowa blood and she grew close to Jacob. It was at Almira that she got married to Edward and spent her glorious wedding night.

She came in to her own at Almira. But even so, she knew she was barely out the starting gate.

And Alice Sue, her whole family was gone. But here was this other whole family. And at the ceremony, when Alice Sue had sang their school song, Almira May Thy Torch Burn Brightly, the three of them, Jasper, Marcus and even little Rodrigo were looking at Alice like she held the keys to life and death.

For them she probably did.

Not that Jasper wasn't surprising the stockings right off of Bella with the patience and care he showed those boys and Alice Sue. She had no idea her brother had this fineness in him. He already seemed like a father and that made it purely obvious he could be a wonderful husband.

And where he wasn't wonderful, well Alice Sue would help him out. She would show Jasper the path, carve it clear and wide. He would pull the plow, take the lead, and all the while Alice Sue would be beside him yelling gee and haw.

So Bella gave a short speech at the ceremony. Her premise was, "How the Opportunity for Higher Education Has Changed Me." In her speech she told about her family and how she had come to them as a baby. Several times the eyes of the listeners darted to Jasper and Edward. Edward felt pretty much on display.

Then she told about meeting Jacob in the Mississippi River, and Edward's ears were at attention for every word. Then she told she was Indian and that story brought some sniffles. Then she tied it all together in why she'd written those articles and she was pretty fiery on it.

And then she surprised the hell out of him and announced they had married. And she seemed downright defiant while she said so for they did come out of the same nest, blood or not. And folks gasped and he refused to squirm on his chair, but he wanted to. And then Alice Sue jumped on to her feet clapping and they followed right after…those girls. Lord.

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By the time graduation was over they were all crying…the students…no one else. And they were lined up to hug Bella, and hug each other. Miss Irina came over and congratulated Edward and said him and Jasper were taking away two of their favorite students and what a brilliant mind Bella Marie had, and what a future she had in writing and teaching. And Edward was listening to her as intently as he'd listened to his darling Bella.

But, Miss Irina said, it was evident Bella was eager to be a rancher's wife. And then she sighed…wistfully and seemed to admit somewhat reluctantly that this was, perhaps, Bella's greatest calling.

"That's a good thing, right?" Edward said for he couldn't allow Miss Irina to seem disappointed in Bella's future.

Miss Irina assured him it was good for whatever course Bella Marie embarked upon she would seek to uplift it and such a partner as him would undergird Bella's gifts with enthusiastic encouragement.

Well hell. He felt warned and praised all in one, and he wasn't even sure what she'd meant.

Then other students came forward, lightly touching his hand and curtsying as they congratulated him on marrying Bella. He was polite and gracious, for it was, of course, his greatest accomplishment, but he wondered, would she consider it hers?

And then it happened and the room moved toward him in oohs and aahs. The King had returned, seemed like. Jacob Black showed up, coming in the tall double doors in a black coat and tie and black top hat, flecked with snow. He got no further than those doors and they flocked him. But her, upfront, she seemed to shine the brightest as she looked at Black. And Black, his eyes went straight to Bella's. Edward felt them connect. He witnessed their joy and he groaned. Then Black turned his head enough to lock eyes with Edward. "Thorn in my side," Edward muttered.


	48. Chapter 48

Love Like a Hurricane 48

Black had not found sure footing since arriving at Almira. Edward could see the tightness around the man's mouth upon learning of Bella's sudden marriage. Well surely Black knew it was coming. He might be a boil on Edward's butt, but he was not unintelligent.

Well he was not brilliant either.

So Edward allowed the tight look for it was not his to beat from the man's stacked lips. He was at Almira. And though they had killed Hybrow in these parts, those days of retribution and general touchiness were best left for Texas. There he would always be a man would do the necessary and it from protection, but here…he just had to endure and practice civil…behavior.

So he did. And for Bella he was cordial and there were many ways to avoid someone even when a crowd kept dwindling for the trains were running and those near were loading up. Some were staying at this school for winter term, but not all.

Their train left the following morning. Black could not be on it for he was going on to Washington. He had been in Springfield at the state capital there for God knew what reason, though he was eager to tell it, and it did not change a thing in Texas, so even if Black fancied himself a policy maker now, or imagined he was came to Indian affairs, Edward couldn't wait to hear Bella tell Black adios. He did not plan to say much, or anything if he could manage it. But he was about to break out in a snake dance, not to celebrate Black's self-proclaimed success but the fact that Black could not follow them home.

Well shucks and hallelujah.

So after a time, Miss Irina invited Edward, Bella and Black, Alice, Jasper and the young-ins to her home for a meal and to stay their last night in its homey comfort. That was just dandy-fine, but Edward hid a groan for it seemed this would never be over and he'd never get alone with his lovely.

So into two sleds this tribe did pile along with considerable belongings on a sled behind. In the first sled were Jasper's group. In the second, Bella and Edward faced Black and Miss Irina. They sang cheerfully on the way to Miss Irina's. Well some did sing, but not him, but Black sang, harmony on top of it, often staring at Edward, unless he stared at Bella, oh he liked that fine.

And they got there and all, to Miss Irina's house, ever so happy and gay. Miss Irina's home was decorated for Christmas, which was in two weeks, so all around the porch was heavy greenery looped so festive, and they were about to enter Christmas land it seemed.

The house itself was three stories of gingerbread and fluff. It was similar to the castle he reckoned Paul had been trying to have built in Texas, but that place had been so gangly and poorly planned were it not for all the sadness surrounding its fiery destruction Edward would have to say Jenks did all a favor for not leaving the heirs saddled with such a behemoth.

But this was a house built with that 'old country' knowledge and craft.

"Papa built this house in 1832," Miss Irina was saying, so it was not that old.

Black was talking about the homes he'd seen in his travels, and one of them the house of the president of these United States. Well Edward wanted to hurl on that one. Hurl a rock Black's way.

"This house got a cellar?" Edward asked, talking right over Black cause a man couldn't squeeze a word in another way.

Miss Irina was thrown some, but Black had shut his yapper finally so Miss Irina did say, "Yes. There was a runaway slave who called himself Freeman. Freeman dug that cellar by hand and do you know Papa found out who his master was and contacted that man personally and purchased Freeman's papers?"

"Reckon I had no way of knowing that until you told me," Edward said, but he did not say it unfriendly at all, but he did say it, and Bella's elbow was soon knocking on his ribs.

Miss Irina turned to Black and continued, "Freeman stayed with us until he died just last year."

Then she sniffed and Black reached inside his coat and took his fancy white handkerchief out, shook it with a flourish cause the Kiowa, except for his darling, were a dramatic bunch, and Black handed that right to Miss Irina and she thanked him and dabbed her eyes.

"Lord, God," Edward barely muttered.

The carriage-man assisted the ladies from the rig and Edward moved to go next, but Black moved same time, but soon Black withdrew and Edward let him, yes he did, and he got on the ground first and soon as his back was to the Kiowa, he smiled a little, even as Bella pinched his arm.

But Black stepped down behind him and soon took Miss Irina's arm and it was a whole new day Edward guessed, for that one seemed to own the place, Black, and Edward took Bella's arm and from the other carriage Jasper's brood was on the ground and that little one all wide eyed. He reckoned they'd have no trouble with Marcus amongst them either, for Miss Irina was in love with God's rainbow looked like.

So in they all went, up three long lines of stairs for the house was elevated, making it look like a mountain of hospitality and wonder and up the big porch, and a Negro man, maybe Freeman's cousin, waited at the top, him in a suit, and holding the door wide and welcoming. Once inside the lighted grandeur, a maid took their wraps. Well the ceiling was high up there, and the chandelier was a glow with gas lighting, just twinkling like a cluster of stars caught in a golden lasso and hung inside. The walls were a nice green color, like winter wheat they grew around here pretty much, with white trim along the ceiling, and that imprinted with Miss Irina's hands when she was a baby, over and over, making a nice, if somewhat indulgent effect, and who had that kind of time, is what Edward wondered.

Bella was watching him, as if wanting to see what he thought, so he tried not to let his mouth hang open like a hayseed come to the city. He smiled at her to reassure cause maybe if he looked closely at her, she didn't seem quite at ease. Well he wasn't going to lift his leg on the naked sculpture in the corner, or anything so ridiculous, so he smiled back to reassure her.

They followed Miss Irina upstairs, and Bella was before him now, lifting her skirts and her hips were about in his face, or on a line with it anyway and oh my God this house had nothing he'd rather look at than what was right before him, so he was the richest man, and that's what he knew for sure.

Up in front of Bella, Marcus was gawking this and that way and Edward had to laugh at that. But that little Rodrigo was struck quiet like his life was on the line, but he got going in this fine house, Edward did not envy his brother.

But now Rodrigo's head was on Jasper's shoulder, and they were bobbing upstairs looking like two peas in a pod. How could Alice not see that? Maybe grief was blind as love.

They reached the second floor and it was a wide open center room fixed for pleasure. Edward's eyes swept over. A glittering cart of liquor was in the corner. Well damn he could do with some of that.

Now he held Bella Marie's elbow. There she was watching him again. She smiled at him, radiant and lovely, and so excited to be in this house and looking like she fit here, beauty surrounded by beauty.

He realized she loved it here. Because she'd probably been here many times. And the maid had said, "Miss Bella," when she'd taken her cape. She had also curtsied for Alice Sue. For the first time he realized how hard it must be for her to think of leaving all this finery. Texas was…dust and trouble. It was a man's life. A man like him. Texas was beautiful too, but these paintings right on the wall of Miss Irina's, and this red room they were now in with the furniture upholstered in soft materials, and the spinet there, the organ there, the fine books on the shelves and the billiard table, these vases, that tea chest. Well this was paradise for folks liked it indoors.

The Kiowa now, Black is who he meant, he was looking right at home, too. Well hellfire he'd been here with them all, them listening to his yapping on. Now Edward imagined how many evenings that one must have sat on that settee, legs crossed in his fancy britches, balancing a tea cup on his knee while he yakked on and on.

Many such evenings she'd probably known with her toothy brother who talked as relentlessly as a paddle wheel shoveling barrels of water, many nights of worship and foolery here while he was out busting his backside on the ranch like the beast he was.

How'd she ever say yes to him? He was glad he did not see all this before he had the sand to ask her, well to drag her to that reverend, though she had not faltered, no, she had led the way.

Well, that relieved him some.

And Rodrigo breaking that fine enormous vase Miss Irina's papa had brough all the way from Germany did give him the time to get ahold of himself.


	49. Chapter 49

Y'all, some fine ladies have recommended this story at The Lemonade Stand. It is a great site if you've never been. You can vote for this story and some others as well. I think there is a day or two left as of today which is May 21. Thanks for reading this. I love your thoughts.

Love Like a Hurricane 49

The Texans were given a fine dinner at Miss Irina's table. First time in his life Edward used a knife rest, or knew such existed as back home they'd stick a knife point down in the table need be. Well him or Jasper, just like Pa had, would cut Ma's tough beef, eat it off the tip of their knives and stick those blades right into the table when they were done, maybe belch, and tell Ma that was a fine meal. That's how they'd done it most their lives in Texas.

But here, you cut right through that fine boiled meat and you laid your shiny silver knife right back on that little stick of glass so the dirty blade wouldn't soil the white tablecloth which they'd all been pretty hard on regardless. And when you used that knife you could also use it to check how long your whiskers were or to see if some of that fine meat was stuck between your teeth.

Rodrigo was welcomed to set with them seeing as he didn't want to let Jasper out of his sight since the great vase came crashing, and he managed to lean forward with his mouth open and eat most of Jasper's dinner, one polite bite at a time, then he'd hide his face against Jasper's chest while he chewed.

Jasper was indulging that child into peculiar behavior in Edward's opinion. He wanted to eat he needed to sit in the special chair Miss Irina took the trouble to wheel in here for babies like him, and he needed to shovel it in with his own two mitts for they worked just fine came to getting in to mischief.

Once that meal was over, and it was fine fixings, though the gravy was bland the way the Yankees seemed to like it, Alice and Miss Irina seemed on a mission to gather a stack of diapers and additional clothing for Rodrigo. Miss Irina also insisted on having the boy's laundry done, Marcus's as well. They would probably be wearing wet clothes on the train, but Miss Irina saw more virtue in the pneumonia than young ones being dirty. She was able to find more clothing for Marcus also.

Well they were not poor, and Jasper insisted he pay for all this, and the vase besides though Miss Irina turned red and got glassy eyed to even think of it being destroyed, but she assured them it was just the trappings of this world for all the sentiment she attached, but those tears said different.

"Well how much is a vase like that worth? And all these clothes. We are not wanting charity, Ma'am," Jasper insisted. And Alice Sue took him off and talked like she was scolding him, but to Edward's dismay, she toed up and kissed Jasper's cheek when she was through, and the look on Jasper's face, well Edward had not seen it before, but his brother was quelled from protesting and such a display of womanly power made Edward aware of his pecker shriveling in his britches like a turtle's head hiding in its shell.

But still, this house was like a cornucopia of plenty and Miss Irina was everyone's mother, but they did not want to take advantage and all their lives they'd paid their ways by sweat or trade or money. Asking outright made Miss Irina scoff and he reckoned Bella would correct him about like Alice Sue had his brother. So Edward told Jasper they could leave some money in their rooms to go to the school and that is what they agreed on. It was best to let the women prattle then do the manly thing anyways.

He would appear to give Bella a good share of victories. But he would not become a eunuch while he did so. If he saw fit he would always do what a man should.

Well the gravy on their stay with Miss Irina was that she had a bathroom with a tub built permanent and into that piped water, cold and hot.

Miss Irina insisted Jasper get his little doggies in to scrub and then their fine fluffy white beds awaited.

Once the lads were clean, Miss Irina also insisted the ladies enjoy this modern luxury of a bath. Then the menfolk were invited to use those wonders for their own necessities. And Edward planned to for he was sharing a four-poster with his darling and he meant to be as welcoming as she would be were such a thing possible.

While Bella took her bath, Edward tried not to think about it and strolled around to look more closely at how the indoor plumbing was run and how the house was built in general. He even asked permission to see the cellar so he could look under the house at its foundations. Miss Irina seemed overjoyed at his interest, much like a parent proud over her child. So he took a lamp and went exploring, having the time of his life for this house was built to stand until Jesus came pretty much. And the Yankees were not a bad bunch came to skill, not at all, for they seemed to love to build things in every nook and cranny.

On his way out of the cellar he ran in to Black in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee for his long night vigil with the broken vase and the gluepot. Yes, Black had insisted he could mend Miss Irina's treasure. Such a hero, that Kiowa potter, but Edward had seen the Kiowa handiwork too many times, it always leaving a knot in his stomach, and that crude orange clay was nothing like Miss Irina's fancy-fine vase.

"Well now," Edward said.

Black held the coffee pot high. His confidence had bloomed right out now he was a man of the world. Too many folks had doted on him too many times and influenced his opinion of himself it seemed. Edward reckoned Black saw them as equals. That rankled. Black was not his equal. He did not trust him. He had grown up knowing they were enemies, no dispute on it. To put that aside would never come natural.

But he got his own cup now and when Black set that pot down Edward picked it up and poured himself some.

"Bella told me your mother confirmed my story," Black said.

Edward sipped some of the dark coffee and kept his eyes on Black while he did so. He saw no resemblance between Black and his wife other than, maybe the eyes, and the skin, well Bella was lighter. But her features, she took after her mother. Spanish folks went all ways.

"How long will y'all stay in Fort Worth," Black said.

"Long as it takes to settle the uprisings," Edward said.

Black sure liked that coffee. He kept his mouth occupied with it while he probably went through all the things in his mind he did not want to say. Settling the Indian trouble meant killing more of them off, so there was that between them.

"Sounds like you'll be busy in Washington," Edward said eager this one confirm he'd be gone and occupied. Hard to believe Jasper threw him in the river and then had to sit at table with him tonight. They said God liked a good laugh, and nothing Edward had seen at church ever backed that up until this.

Edward smirked in to his cup as he sipped some more.

"I don't know when I'll get back to Texas," Black said, "though it is my hope to return someday soon."

Edward nodded now, hearing water drain from overhead and figuring that had to do with his lovely being wet and clean and sweet and maybe naked. He lost interest in Black, not that it took so much, but he gulped that boiling hot coffee now.

"So here we are. United by blood and marriage," Black said.

"Three things," Edward said. "One, being related don't make you family. Can't help who you share blood with, but outside of my Ma, my brothers and Bella, we pick and choose. Two, never gonna like the way you done Bella when she got to this school. Never gonna care for the way you used Miss Irina and that reverend to have your say instead of coming to me, the man of my family."

"I used the only allies I had—Miss Irina and the reverend. You and your brother had just tried to kill me in the Mississippi." Black said this with heat.

"And third, that article. You used Bella's voice and standing to speak for the Kiowa. You had no care at all what that would mean for her…for us back in Texas. And that's twice you disrespected me and mine." Edward set his cup on the table.

"That is the narrowest view of what I did. It is my hope Bella will be able to continue working for the newspaper and giving the Indian's side of the trouble. She's grown up Anglo. That gives her a chance to use her privilege for the good of her people."

"I'm her people. Don't you ever be confused. I'm her people," Edward said pounding his own chest. "And you made it so there is a question on her loyalties. Cause I'm here to say it comes down to it," and he had to stop himself from his feelings choking out his words, "she will stand by my side. I say aim, she aims. I say fire, she fires. She has done it, so you know. Same enemies as me. Always the same," Edward said, fire in his stomach.

"I am not your enemy, Edward Cullen. But you…are mine," Jacob said quietly. "I hope we can find a way to walk into the future learning to understand one another."

"Nah," Edward said. "I understand you fine. And I gave you my three things so you'd understand me."

"You will never accept me," Black said, also setting his cup on the table.

"See Black, you got your eyes on the wrong battle. I don't need to accept you. The only hope you got is Bella. I love her. I'd die for her. Even to my pride. See, that's your only hope. But don't you take advantage of her goodness ever again. I see that…well you've used up your chances to know my good side."

"Speak plainly."

Edward smirked. "I just did. You want to come around and say howdy once…every ten years or so…that's fine. But get your mind off of anything more. We ain't gonna be setting up camp together. And you ain't gonna be hiding in her skirts while you take shots at my neighbors. Fact is…my pa saved your ass. That's all. You lost a sister, but you kept your life…what it's worth. I don't owe you a thing. And Bella…she surely does not."

"You overlook what Bella wants," he said.

Edward sighed. "I will work that out with her. What she wants is what will matter. I will always consider what she says. But don't think for a minute she will not consider me. Everything you think you're going to have and do comes to my wife…includes me from here on. Your days of having her at this school while I'm hundreds of miles away are over. I don't plan to leave her side."

"You think you do such a fine job of protecting my sister?" he said, and the anger Edward knew from Black sounding possessive made him take a step closer to the man before he could think of restraint.

Black went on, "I went to them here at the school so I'd have a right to protect her. I needed them to understand I saw her as sister and nothing more. I am an Indian. I am unmarried. I would have no liberty to approach her if I didn't tell them what I suspected we were to one another. You failed Bella on the way to Almira. You left her and Miss Alice. I stepped in where you had deserted."

"You know the circumstances," Edward said through his teeth. "I saw how you cared for her. I knew…you'd protect her. It's the only reason I trusted you as much as I did when I left her here…with you skulking about."

Jacob nodded. "You think I didn't know? And when he came…I protected her yet again."

Edward kept staring. "When…?"

"When he came…the side of his face melted…a monster…the skin raw…but he came for her…a week after you left he came. And you knew I would watch. And you knew I would keep her safe. I may have grown up at the mission school…but I am a brave Kiowa warrior…the son of Two Bears. My name is Black Bear. And when he came for her…for my sister…my blood…I asked him if I could help him…and he said…do I know you? For he'd seen me a few times…on his boat. And I said yes. And I invited him in to my cabin. And he said no, did I know where Bella Cullen resided? He was an old friend. And I pointed to my cabin. She lives here, I said. And he pulled his gun and he told me to get inside, and we went into my cabin. And once in there I overtook him and I got him on my bed…and I choked his life away…with my hands…."

"James Tonico?" Edward whispered. Tonico had come. He'd come for Bella. Tonico had come for Bella.

Black nodded.

"Where…where did you put him?" Edward said, his lips barely moving with the realization.

"It was nearly two days before I could rent the horse and move him to the well. With the other."

Black knew.

Edward grabbed hold of Jacob then. He was not given to hugging anyone but Bella, sometimes a brother, once or twice Mama. He did not hug this man. But he kept hold of his arms, and briefly, he did think…Brother. And he did whisper, "Thank you. My God man. Thank you."


	50. Chapter 50

Love Like a Hurricane 50

He was thoughtful in the tub. He held his breath and slid below the water and when he came up he slicked his hair straight back and breathed the hot steamy air. Well he'd have to have one of these in the house he'd built for Bella. It was more spacious than the tin tub they had now, and the plumbing was genius and doable he reckoned, and why had he not thought of it before?

He wanted…everything for her. To give her everything, to be everything, because she deserved everything.

Sweetness. That's what he knew with her, in that big white nightgown tied to her chin and the sweet smell of her, and waiting for him now. And if she did not want to do a thing but be held by him in Miss Irina's house which had probably not known folks spooning for years, if she could not think of doing such with him here, then he would be agreeable for he came to her hat in hand, head bowed…and troubled.

He used his toe to pull the plug. He put on his longjohns and his britches and cleaned this room up nice after himself and realized he was stalling. So he went to his lovely.

She sat in the bed, propped by a lacey covered pillow, her hands folded atop the covers, her shiny braid thick on her shoulder. She was waiting for him just like that, a smile on her pink lips.

He closed the door and stopped to look at her, then the covers moved and Rodrigo's curly head appeared.

"Oh no," Edward said.

Rodrigo squealed and disappeared again, and Bella laughed and clapped her hands, her cheeks a beautiful flush.

"What in the…?" Edward charged the bed and pulled the covers back some and there was that giggling screaming mite.

"He ran in here," Bella said laughing, "…and he said, 'hide.'"

A knock on their door and Bella said to come in and there was Marcus laughing, never looking so shiny clean in his new nightshirt.

"Where did you get that?" Edward teased, and Marcus came awkwardly for Rodrigo, then that one was kicking and screaming, not wanting to leave and Edward realized in all that carrying on he was saying Bella's name and reaching for her even as Marcus carried him out and closed their door. Well he already loved her and who could blame him and how many would Edward have to fight off to have her to himself?

Edward went after and realized the door could be locked for the key was left in the keyhole and he turned that and keeping the key in place also meant no one could peak in so maybe at long last they could have some time. So why was he filled with dread?

"We've joined a wild west show," he muttered to Bella, and she had her hand over her mouth and was trying not to laugh it seemed as he shed his britches and climbed in beside her.

He moved to his side and leaned on his elbow and she did the same, facing him. Well they looked at each other, and the emotion in him…he so badly wanted to look at her, but couldn't seem to hold her gaze.

"Bella," he said, "I…I just…I want to say something…."

She stayed so still, so beautiful and still, her one brow lifting. He traced that with his finger. His hands hadn't been soaked so clean in a long time. Her brows were drawn in perfect arcs over her soft brown eyes.

"I…I've made peace with Jacob. You…you don't need to worry about that no more. I…I know he's your brother…and…I'll stand by."

She looked at him for a moment, and a beautiful smile broke over her face. "Thank you, Edward," she whispered.

He scoffed, but he was wounded further by her evident gratitude. He'd caused her much worry over this…much heartache.

"I…I'm stubborn…," he began, trying to get it out, whatever it was.

"Shhh," she said. "You're perfect."

He laughed. And he was even more regretful now. He felt so sorry his eyes were fixing to water. He cleared his throat. Perfect she said?

"I'm not perfect," he said, and it sounded ridiculous.

"You are," she whispered.

"I will give you no trouble on…Jacob," he said. She must have misunderstood. That's all he was saying and it hardly made him perfect.

"Thank you," she said again.

"You don't have to thank me," he said.

"But I do. I know what this has cost you."

"Nothing," he insisted. "It cost me nothing." Because of Black, he had her. She couldn't know. But he did. And that made all the difference now. "I have you. I…can be generous. I have you." He felt that damn water in his eyes. For it hit him hard now, harder than ever. He'd nearly lost her, more than once, but Black, in the river…and after. He could have lost her. His Bella.

"I'm fine," she said. "What is it? What is it Edward?"

"We're staying in Fort Worth. I won't lose you. I won't take any more chances with you. I've been…a fool. Reckless. I don't deserve you."

"Shhh. Edward. No…no. It's this house. I could see it in your eyes the moment we pulled up in that sled, even before. I know you. I know what you're thinking, that I want this…more than you. I know you. Like I'm some flower now that I've had some schooling and learned more how much I don't know than anything."

Her hand was on his face, the other holding his clinging fingers, God he was pathetic.

"Listen to me," she said, and he thought, here goes my balls, but she can have them. They're hers. "Listen to me," she repeated, "do you know why Miss Irina dedicates herself to that school?"

He could come up with ideas if he wanted to put his mind there, but he did not. All he could think was that he could have lost her, that Tonico had come for her, lived like a lizard that you couldn't catch or kill, but Black had squeezed the life out of him and he wanted to go to that well and see for himself.

"She was dying in this house, Edward. You can't cozy up to a house, even a grand house. Edward…what I have…with you…it's what life is all about. Do you think there is anything this world can offer that comes close? I came to this school knowing what I wanted and what I wanted was you. I've never wavered…never changed. Edward…settle this in your mind. I am completely yours."

He swallowed. She was killing him. Her sweetness, her belief in him was killing him. He had failed. She couldn't know how badly.

She pressed her lips to his, and everything in him wept. Not outright, there were the tears, the trace of them, but inside he had no more control than…Rodrigo.

Her eyes searched his face and she looked concerned, but she needn't, take it so deep. He'd get over it…in time…his sense of failure. He'd carry on. But he'd know what a hollow man he really was. He'd been stripped here…like always…seemed Illinois existed to humble him…Almira in particular and now Miss Irina's house. Seemed he only had some strength in Texas. It was to him like Samson's long hair. It was that and he needed to get them home. But he knew he lied. He knew even in Texas he was a fool.

"Edward," she whispered as he went to ash.

She moved back and got on her feet, and her hands went to the neck of her gown. Oh Lord, she did not need to do this, to try and save him by giving him more. He couldn't. She would stop his heart if she didn't cease.

He moved quick to her side of the bed and reached her and he sat up and pulled her to him. "No," he said. "No more."

Her hands stilled on the ties at her neck, but only for a moment and she pulled further away and he lacked the strength to go after her. "I'm no good," he said instead.

"Stop it," she said, tearing through those ties. She pulled that gown over her head then, and beneath it, she was skin.

"My God," he said, and he felt a tear, a tear get lose and roll and hang on his whiskers.

"Edward?" she whispered, standing there, like that sculpture in Miss Irina's parlor, but real and flesh and so perfect.

"You're perfect," he said. For she was beyond his wildest imaginings. He had not seen a woman, not all of one before. And her, she couldn't be touched upon this earth.

"I'm filthy," he said.

She walked quickly to him and her breasts swayed and she slapped his face.

It hurt like hell and his hand went to his cheek.

"Stop it," she said in all her naked glory.

"Stop what?" he whispered, his eyes glued to her body. My God, she was amazing.

"Take me right now," she demanded.

"Here?"

"Where do you think?"

"Miss Irina…," he said.

"Don't you hide behind Miss Irina," she said.

"I can't stop staring at you," he said.

"Stand up," she said.

He stood slowly. It's all he could do. She worked furiously to devest him of his longjohns.

She straightened slowly and took a step back. "Oh my," she sighed.

He looked down at himself. His pecker was hard.

He swallowed and looked back at her. "I'm sorry," he said.

"We'll join now," she said.

"No," he said. Her beauty…he couldn't. He'd almost let her die. At least twice. Maybe more. He'd let her live in peril in Texas. Everyday of her life. He left her and Mama alone with Stover and despicable Jenks and cowboys. He barked orders at her and didn't let her ride Alameda as much as she'd like to and he put a rifle in her hands from the time she was twelve and she'd killed. He'd let this angel kill and for what? And he almost gave her to Paul. Not really. But really.

He went down on his naked knees. He bowed his head. And he sobbed then. Worse than Rodrigo. Worse.

He never sobbed. He'd never been allowed to. Who wanted to hear such…despair?

He couldn't stay on his knees, it was too high off the ground. He fell to his ass and he held himself up, but barely, and she was with him then, wrapped around him, holding him.

And time went on and he let the herd of sorrow run riot out of him, dear God, he was laying on the floor now and pretty soon, or hours later, he was a suit of skin just quiet and breathing, and her breathing. And she got the cover off the bed sometime and covered them. He should get up, build up the fire, be a man, be a husband. But he must have fallen asleep, for sometime later he awoke, and it was dark and cold, and she was moving against him, and he pulled her on top of him then and she kissed him, scared and slow, and he had his arms around her and he kissed her and he told her, "I love you Bella."

"I love you, Edward," she said.

Well he kissed her slow and sweet, and she stood and she took his hand and he sat up and the room spun around. She pulled and he got on his feet and she moved to the bed and he bent for the cover and put it over her, then he went and got the fire going again. Well it was the least he could do, and it caught some and the glow. He went to her then, got beside and under that cover and he took her then, his hand at that place her hip swelled, and he ran his hand over her skin, he adored her.

There were no more tears in him, but the quiet comes after the hurricane, the attack, and all you lost you mourn and all you have left you repair and it is more precious than before…when you took it for granted…when you were proud…and safe.

And you see it clear then. What's left…you see it clear. And there she was, this beauty. And he was so grateful…and inside…so quiet…and so honest. And so clean.

And he reached to her breast…with his lips…and he kissed her over her heart…and he pulled back to look in her eyes as he moved his hand to her private self that was open to him now…with love…with trust…and he cupped her there and she touched his face…and he said, "My love…I surrender…everything…I lay at your feet."

And he lowered to her, and he gave her himself…and for the first time…in his life…he understood…how to be a man. He understood…how to love his woman. He understood…he'd been gifted…everything. And he took his place…in the line…of humanity. And he gave.


	51. Chapter 51

Love Like a Hurricane

A/N: this is it. Thank you for reading. I have tried…to pour it out and not stand aside and narrate, but to open up and…this is it, dear ones. I love these characters and it's hard to let them go. It always is. But we really don't own anything…for very long.

Epilogue

The families, Edward's and Jasper's, headquartered in Fort Worth until the winter of 1875. By that time the Indian trouble in Texas was over and scratched on the long tongue-like scroll of bloody history. Judgment would come by those who came after and then the dead would speak, the good and the bad, the butchered and the butchers would have their say. The sky had received their spirits…but the earth…it held the wild pounding of the living, each heart a war-cry. All of them struggling to be.

There was work to do.

Edward and Jasper agreed, their time at Fort Worth had borne much fruit. It was during those years the fort became a regular stop for cattle being driven to Abilene. So after a precarious beginning and nearly dwindling during the War Between the States, Fort Worth was a boom-town and the Cullens were in the middle of its growth and opportunity.

While there, Edward and Bella changed homes six times. Edward would buy one house, be building another, get an offer on both and move them a third time. Bella said it was like checkers, them chasing all across the board and Edward calculating every move.

Edward wanted to pack up Mama and do the same, but she refused. She had taken to town and the small house she shared with Seth. She did not plan to return to the ranch when they left. She enjoyed being under a doctor's care since she had that spell in '73 and he'd pronounced a heart ailment.

And she liked being near the church and her do-gooder work with the ladies who met to quilt and sew for the ailing at the infirmary.

Mama said she was through with life on the ranch. She'd take her stand here in Fort Worth where she could still do some good and wait for the Lord's return and it made Edward want to chew on a spike, but that woman was stubborn as some Kiowa he'd known and her not more than four feet and a pinch.

More predictable was that Seth would stay with her. Jasper and Edward had invested in two general stores, but it was Seth and his apprentice Marcus who took to running them. Those two were proving to be bad as Mama came to turning in to townies. So there it was, they were breaking out of the herd and Edward did not have to like it even as Bella said he had to accept it for folks were not cattle and of course he knew that.

Jasper and Alice, married Christmas back in seventy-two, or as soon as they'd landed here after leaving Almira. They had moved as often as Edward and Bella, following the same road. They had four boys now, well the twins born last year, Joshua and Caleb, and Rodrigo, a great boy of five and Marcus, although that one was nearly independent and living in back of one of the stores. Alice wanted him to go to school, but he didn't cotton to it, and Jasper couldn't force him to stay so he finally gave in and let that one go full time at the mercantile and it was good. There didn't seem to be any backing him up, and that's what Jasper was trying to see, and once he did he knew the boy was out the gate.

But Bella was slow to conceive, or Edward was slow to plant, no way of knowing but it wasn't lack of joining, for they did that so well, so naturally and with lots of heart.

He'd worried some, that he'd fail her. But she took her place as teacher in seventy-three and that did it, she was in the family state before that first term ended and then came little Edward Mortimer the Third for Pa was same. Then to add to it Jacob brought them Demetri, and Edward thought, oh no you don't. He'd be planting children, but he didn't need Jacob bringing them from his end of the family tree, no he did not. He told his brother by law to find him a wife and load his tee-pee to bursting. Edward's quiver would be filled by him and his darling, not the unfortunate orphans of Texas.

Well that speech did him absolutely no good, for here came that Demetri and his sister Cassandra, them one and two. So now they were their own little clan. And he didn't regret it. And he didn't want more less they came the regular way for he'd done his part he reckoned and his wife had a heart soft and tender as new butter and he wouldn't have her wore out for it.

Well he loved coming home to those who cried out like he was the star of the show. And he was…well the man of his family, and he had to lift some who raised their arms to him and hug and pat to get to Bella and then the relief she brought him, by sight and sound and touch, the relief of her love. She had always been the stir in his blood.

Truth was, Edward was jealous over Bella's attention, not when it came to the children, he had the reins on there, but everyone else pretty much. He kept the beast penned, though he did not fool her a bit for she knew his jealous nature when it came to her.

She reminded him that jealousy was not love, not nearly, and he knew that. He thought he did, but God was jealous in the Old Testament came to the Israelites, and he tried to use that on her to justify himself some, but she did remind him, "Well you are not God, except in your own mind…and maybe, sometimes…God help me…in mine."

He loved that pretty much, and he knew he was not God or he'd give her the whole bloody state of Texas for her footstool he loved her that much.

But when he judged himself, and he always would, he was hellaciously disappointing as a husband sometimes for even though he'd promised not to leave her side he and Jasper made many forays to their ranches to oversee the amassing of the herds, the endless…relentless lines of lolling horns and hooves that were making them rich.

She knew how it was. She had a jobs girl to help out. But still…he worked for the day when he would sleep holding her instead of aching to do so.

The love Edward felt for Bella Marie had expanded and filled his life and filled all of Texas it seemed. It had gone out of him into everything he did, and he did plenty. Their house was a prime example. It was a marvel of adobe architecture. In his mind it was. Some of his cowboys were skilled in building as they'd been slaves and knew carpentry. He was happy to discover that three of them were more valuable to him that way and they took pride in redoing some of the damage from years of neglect. It had the plumbing Miss Irina's house had inspired. It had a large bedroom for him and Bella, and a tall wardrobe he'd had sent up from Mexico for her dresses, a chest for everything else, and a desk…for her writing. There was an equally large nursery for the children, and a good-sized sitting room for the family to gather in, and a library for the many books she read to him in the evenings. It was his mission to fill all the shelves with the classics she loved.

Jacob came around, but it was rare his boots spent too much time in Texas or any one place. As a rule, he traveled hundreds of miles a year, from reservation to Almira and further east. Jacob spoke relentlessly.

Bella doubted he would ever take a wife, and then he did, Leah, as dedicated as he was to the Indian cause. In summers they worked on the reservation school, teaching reading and writing and farming and anything else that would help those survivors learn a way for the future.

So in seventy-five, they went home at last. And when they were settled enough and the children were in bed, Edward saddled his horse and for Bella, he saddled Alameda. Bella wore a white dress with a full white skirt. Her hair was tied back on top, the rest blowing long and lovely around her shoulders. They rode over the prairie side by side and he had the feeling he was caught in a dream. It had been years…since this. She kept asking him, "What?" and laughing, for he could not keep his eyes off of her for long. He remembered…so many things…her adoration, and the joy he would feel when he came home…especially from his first drive…when he'd realized she was grown…and her beauty…how she had ridden for him.

And to his joy, before they reached their adobe house, he stilled his horse and she pulled close and he helped her move onto the saddle behind him. And her arms were around him, a kiss melting on his neck, her breasts against him and he leaned some in to her, and her legs either side, her skin showing over the tops of her boots and he tugged at her dress lest one of the hands be about…and see, and he turned and she kissed the corner of his mouth, and she said softly to him, "When we get home…in our bed….you and me…you and me my darling…my Edward."

And he smiled at the promise, he held his hand over hers, joined against him…and his heart…his life…Bella Marie.

The End


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